*Author's Note: Here is the next chapter! Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight or any of its characters.
As I walked back to my dorm in a daze, I reflected on what had just happened between Zero and me. I knew that this was forbidden. I knew I would feel guilty. I had known the second I realized what Yagari had been telling me, that to help Zero I needed to do something bad. Well, I had. I had offered my blood to a vampire on school grounds. That was about as bad as it got at Cross Academy.
But I hadn't offered my blood to just any vampire, but to Zero. He needed me, and this was the only way that I was able to help him. In my mind, the fact that we had engaged in a forbidden act was nullified by his need, the need of someone I cared very deeply for. I would do anything, forbidden or not, to save him.
The guilt, however, was a different story. I kept telling myself over and over that I wouldn't regret my decision. The fact that I had to keep repeating this to myself told me a different story though. When I allowed myself to ponder it, I realized it came down to one thing.
Kaname. He was my first memory, my savior when I was about to be devoured. He had found me a home and come to see me regularly, and I couldn't help but feel deep down that he was at Cross Academy with the night class to keep an eye on me. When I thought about it, I felt a deep sense that I owed him everything. On many occasions I could even go so far as to say that I felt like I belonged to him. And my run in with Hanabusa the other night had brought up the point that perhaps Kaname felt that I belonged to him as well. Then recently Kaname had told me that he couldn't ignore the fact that I had been bitten by someone else, that someone else having been Zero.
Over all, the guilt and regret I was feeling was the product of that fear of Kaname that I had. I didn't want him to find out. With Zero we were equals and I had the choice to do what I wanted, but with Kaname, I was his, under his control, I had always felt.
I blushed suddenly as I thought of what Kaname would think if he found out about this. The sheer intimacy of the act we had shared was enough to make the heat rise in my cheeks. I now thought that I understood a bit more why vampires seemed to enjoy the act of sharing blood. Though I, a human, could not fathom it, I understood more and more that the act was about complete intimacy and giving yourself fully to someone. Zero had even shed a tear or two. I knew without even having to think about it that this had been the first time ever that I had seen him cry. It had practically broken my heart at that moment.
"So. What have you been doing this evening Yuki?"
I looked up, startled out of my thoughts by the voice of Kaname. "Why isn't night class in session right now?" I countered with a question of my own, trying to avoid the topic of where I had just been.
"They're finished. I sent everyone back to the dorm. I have business with the headmaster now," he told me.
"Oh I see," I said, trying to hide the blush I knew was probably on my face at the moment. But Kaname walked up to me, coming close, and took a strand of my hair in his fingers. Shocked, I wasn't able to move, and instead stared up at him, a hint of fear in my eyes.
"The ends of your hair. They're wet. What were you washing away?" He asked me with a hint of accusation in his voice, quite a change from his usual calm way of speaking.
He knew. How could he not? He was a Pureblood vampire. And I belonged to him. Of course he knew. Slowly, he reached for the Band-Aid that covered Zero's bite marks on my neck and I closed my eyes tightly, mentally pleading for him to not remove it.
In a second, I was in his arms. "Kaname…what are you—?" I started, confused by his sudden gesture.
"When did this happen to us? Just when did you stop talking to me about everything Yuki? I hope that what you're trying to protect doesn't end up only causing you more pain. You should go to bed now, Yuki," he said. And then he walked away, trusting that his word was my law. I stood there in shock, not knowing how I should interpret this.
The next morning, I sat in class with Yori, waiting for class to start. The professor should have been here by now. I sighed, looking around at my classmates and how they were all getting restless. When my eyes grazed over Zero's usual seat, I realized that he wasn't there.
Why wasn't he here? It made me worry about him when he didn't show up to class, especially after everything that had happened last night. Maybe he had been too embarrassed to see me? Maybe he hated me after all?
"Professor Yagari should've been here by now," one of the students said. My head snapped up. Yagari was gone. So was Zero. Yagari had tried to kill Zero before when he had almost bitten me…and Yagari was the one who told me where Zero was last night. He knew I had seen Zero…If he had guessed—
Before I could even finish my thought, I was out of my seat and flying through the door. I had to get to Zero now. I was so stupid! I shouldn't have left Zero alone. My heart pounded and my legs burned from the speed and distance I had covered, but I didn't care.
Finally reaching the headmaster's house, I bolted through the door and took the stairs three at a time. I reached the doorway to Zero's room, panting heavily, just in time to see Zero sitting on the ground, a gun pointed right at his forehead. Yagari pulled the trigger and my eyes widened in horror as Zero made no move to stop him or dodge the deadly bullets.
"Stop! Zero!" I screamed, frozen at the doorway. I heard the shots and eyes wide, watched as Zero's eyes widened at my voice, and he swiftly grabbed the barrel of the gun moving it only slightly so that the bullets missed him, but just barely.
A beat of silence as we all seemed to be recovering, and then Yagari said, "You decided to stop waiting for me to kill you." He let go of the gun, giving it to Zero. "Don't you even remember that day? You swore to me that you would never make me regret losing my eye to save your life. That was a solemn oath you made to me that day and promised you would always uphold. Watching you right now made me want to kill you for real. I have no intention of saving a kid who only wants to take the easy way out. Struggle 'til you can struggle no more. It's your life, even if it will be covered in blood. Don't run away, Zero," he lectured as Zero sat there looking a little shocked.
"Now girl," Yagari said, addressing me.
"Wh…what do you want from me?" I asked, taken aback.
"If he starts going berserk again, I want you to stop him, but you'll get hurt if you treat him gently. Listen he won't stop unless you put a bullet in him. Otherwise, he's just gonna keep coming. A bullet is probably the best thing for him. What you choose to do after that is up to you," he told me.
"So then…you shot Zero at the pool because you…"
"I could've taken him in one shot if I wanted. I wouldn't miss at that range. Are you kidding? Wouldn't happen." Then he turned to Zero, addressing him once again.
"Zero…that woman…seems she's still alive," Yagari said cryptically as he walked out of the room and headed down the stairs, and Zero's eyes widened as shock crossed his face. What were they talking about? I didn't know, but now was not the time. Walking up to Zero, I stopped in front of him.
"Zero…I really thought you were going to die…" I told him clenching my fists, tears beginning to stream down my face. Seeing this, his eyes filled with pain and he stood up.
"Yuki…" he said, walking over to me. He reached his hand out to my face, as if to cup it, but after a moment he drew it back and the hard expression was back on his face. Taking another step towards me, he put his hand on top of my head, and said, "Stop crying, ok? I promise I won't run away anymore," he told me gently. It was more than I could take at that moment. I walked over to the windowsill, letting the tears fall freely as I watched the wind blow the tree branches outside.
Later that night, I had gone to see Zero again and found him in the training room, working on hitting targets with his gun. I stood there silently for a couple minutes, waiting for a good time to start talking so I wouldn't disrupt his concentration. Sighing, he turned to me.
"How long do you intend to stand there?" he asked me, sounding a little irritated. Great, he was in a mood.
"Well, I'm worried about you. I wanted to know if you're really ok." I said carefully.
"It's not easy being my nursemaid, is it," he said, a barely detectable amount of venom in his voice. So he was bitter about it. Well, that was too bad, I wasn't taking no for an answer. He was going to talk to me.
"Come on Zero. Are you ok?" I said, a little angry. He didn't respond, but instead shot a line of bullets down the neckline of the paper target, causing it to fall apart. "Guess you're better than ok," I said, still awed at the skill he possessed.
"Yuki, take that gauze off your neck. It's way too obvious," he said, sighing.
"No! I have to wear this thing. If I only wear a Band-Aid then I'll have people like Hanabusa just come up to me and peel it off. And…if someone were to actually see it…" I trailed off, knowing he understood the consequences as well as I did.
"Someone like Kaname," he said out of nowhere. It wasn't a question. "If you were going to have someone drink your blood, your preference probably would've been Kaname Kuran over me, wouldn't it?" he said, and I could feel the words ringing with accusation and his feeling of betrayal. At my surprised noise, he answered my unasked question.
"It wasn't that hard to tell. Your blood…it had that taste to it," he told me, bringing his fingers to his nose, as if he could still smell my blood on his hands.
"Stop! That's sick! Don't say things like that! It's like you're peeking inside me and I hate it!" I yelled angrily at him, opening the door and bolting through it, wanting to be anywhere but here where he could see my tears.
I didn't need him to remind me of the guilt I felt, and the sense of belonging to Kaname. I did feel like I betrayed Kaname. But that didn't mean I wanted Kaname to drink my blood. I would've felt like I was betraying Zero if I hadn't given him my blood. Overwhelmed by my thoughts, I laid down on the couch and fell asleep, dreaming troubled nightmares of my past.
*Thanks for reading, leave me a comment if you wish!