*Author's Note: This chapter was pretty interesting because it has the first scene in it where it's in Yuki's perspective when Zero drinks her blood. Enjoy! Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or its characters.
I woke up, gasping, as if from a nightmare, only I couldn't seem to remember it. I looked around in a daze, trying to remember how I had gotten here, in my bed. For some reason I had no recollection of the previous evening. As I consulted my memories, I realized that the last thing I remembered was being on patrol.
I remembered standing on the sidelines as the night class students came out of their dorm, and as Maria Kurenai had passed by, she had tried to touch me. However, Zero had grabbed me and pulled me against him before she had had a chance. Later when I asked him about it, he had said the same thing as he always did: to stay away from that transfer student.
That had been just the start of the evening though. What had happened the rest of the evening? And why couldn't I remember it?
"Yuki, hurry up or we'll be late for our exams," Yori said, already out of bed and getting ready for the day.
Crap. The exams. Had I really not studied at all?! How had this happened?
"Something wrong Yuki?" Yori asked me, looking slightly concerned.
"No…it's nothing," I lied.
After our exams, Yori asked me if I wanted to go to a place in town, and I agreed. We walked towards the gates, heading out. I was still in a daze, and now I was concerned about Zero as well. He hadn't shown up to the exams. I knew he could be lazy but skipping something so important just didn't seem like something he would do.
"Yuki? Yuki!" Yori's voice caught my attention. "Are you alright? You don't look that well. Maybe you should go home and rest instead," she said, concern written all over her face.
"Y—yeah, you're right. Good idea. I'm…sorry…" I told her apologetically, feeling bad for canceling our post-exam celebration.
"Good afternoon, Yuki," Kaname's voice suddenly came from in front of me. What was he doing here, in the middle of the day?
"Kaname?" I asked, my thoughts apparent in my voice.
"I wonder if you would come with me for a moment? I need to speak to you. Takuma can make sure we are able to speak privately," he said, referring to the blonde who was currently flirting with the day class girls. Somehow I didn't think he was the best choice for keeping the girls away, but I kept silent.
We made our way over to the walkway around the terrace and stopped when we had put some distance between ourselves and the hormonal throng of girls.
"Is…something wrong? I mean…now is—" I started, thinking that whatever he had to discuss with me had to be of utmost importance if he had come to see me during the day.
"I wanted to discuss the ball with you," he said, interrupting my thoughts.
"Oh…ok…" I said, feeling a little confused. What was so important about the ball?
"I'll see you there, won't I?"
"That's right! I've been asked to patrol the ball room!"
"That's not what I mean," he said as his mahogany eyes searched mine, unwavering. I felt my heart rate increase as I realized what he had meant.
"But I really don't have anything to wear to something like that and I also have my duties to attend to…so…" I tried to let him down easily. Not because I didn't long to go with him, but because I took my job seriously, and Zero certainly couldn't monitor the ball on his own.
"When we were kids, we used to dance together all the time," he said, a wistfulness so deep seeping into his words. The way he said them, as if he cherished them, brought back flashes of my own memory.
"Yeah…that's right. I was always so bad at it…and you would try to guide me," I reminisced, thinking of a simpler time.
"You would charge blindly ahead back then. I wanted to be near you at all times, to protect you. I don't want to see you get hurt," he said, drastically changing the subject of this conversation from harmless memories to rather serious declarations.
"Kaname…" I said, for it was all I could manage. As I stared up at him, unable to pry my eyes away, he came towards me and rested his hand on my cheek. I flinched.
"Don't worry. I will always be with you," he told me, and I knew by the way he looked at me that this was no lie, but indeed so deep a truth that I seemed to be incapable of understanding.
As I walked back to my dorm, I found my conversation with Kaname running through my head again and again. I was sure that the fact I had flinched when he touched me hadn't escaped him.
What was wrong with me? He had never explicitly done anything that would make me think he would hurt me; in fact everything about him portrayed the exact opposite. So why did I always seem so uncomfortable when he touched me? I realized that I had always been a little afraid of him but—
A cat stood in front of me. It was black with yellow eyes, and it seemed to have come out of nowhere. Though I had heard plenty of myths about black cats being bad luck, I never believed them. Besides, I liked cats.
"What's wrong? Did you get lost somehow?" I asked the cat affectionately, picking it up as it mewed at me.
"You're so cold, aren't you Yuki," I heard someone say behind me. I looked up to see Maria. Something about the way she was watching me, the way her presence seemed to take up the entire space in front of me, was frightening.
"Maria…" I said, not quite sure what to say to her remark.
"How could you have forgotten about that boy when he clearly thinks so much of you?" she asked me cryptically.
"That boy?" I echoed, confused. I knew of only four people who thought anything of me. Yori and the headmaster didn't make sense in Maria's context, and I hardly believed a vampire would refer to Kaname as a "boy".
"Wherever you go, he's always by your side," she told me.
"Who do you mean? You mean Zero?" I said, playing innocent though I realized by now who she was talking of. At my answer, her eyes narrowed and the cat in my arms nipped me, enough to draw blood. Then, as if I was being swept away, memories from the previous night seemed to come rushing back all at once.
Studying with Zero. Him holding me from behind as he told me I was the reason he lived on. Following him after he left only to find him confronting Maria. Why had I forgotten?
"Hold on! Maria, wait!" I yelled after her as she began to walk away from me. "What did you do to Zero?!" I yelled at her angrily.
"He's going to be alright for the time being. But sooner or later he will become a level E and when that happens, he won't listen to you anymore. However if you're interested, there is a way to save him. Let's make a deal. I want you to do something that only you can do. If you want to save Zero, offer yourself to me, or give me Kaname Kuran's corpse as a gift."
Later that night I had proceeded to the ball room to help set up for the dance. As I worked I thought about Maria's—no, Shizuka Hio's—deal. The Pureblood was twisted and wanted the life of someone I cared about in exchange for another.
Or, she would take me.
I had made up my mind the moment she had uttered the words. I would do anything to save Zero, and anything to protect Kaname. If offering myself up to her would accomplish both, it was my only solution.
A loud noise at the door startled me and most of the other students working in the room. I looked up to see Zero, breathing hard and looking as if he had just seen a ghost. There were rust colored specs on parts of his clothing…blood.
I watched as he walked right past me, heading for the storage room, and decided to follow him.
"Hey, what's going on?" I asked him as I caught up, blocking the doorway into the small room.
"Have you seen that transfer student anywhere?" he said, and I could feel the hatred in his voice.
"Zero, you're bleeding. What happened?" I asked, ignoring his question. There were more important things to worry about than where she was. Not to mention, I didn't want Zero to know of our deal for fear he would try to stop me…or rather he would stop me.
"It's nothing. I'm alright now," he lied to me.
"Ok…but you don't…look like you're alright Zero," I said, gently calling him out on his lie. As I walked towards him, I saw the yearning look on his face. I also saw how agitated he looked. I realized what he needed right away.
"You should just do what you need to do Zero," I told him, ignoring the slightly confused look on his face. He should know by now that I could tell when he needed something. "Right here, go on, go ahead. Just don't spill too much, ok?" I said, taking my short hair and pulling it aside so he had a clear view of my neck.
With lightning speed he was upon me. He pinned me to the wall, face forward as his body surrounded me and his fangs sank into my flesh. I stayed still as hard muscles pressed against me. He hadn't even hesitated this time. I knew that even though he had suffered blood loss, this was a sign that he was falling fast.
Despite the initial pain of being pierced by his fangs, I easily settled into the pleasurable feeling of Zero sucking my blood, my eyelids becoming heavy. I had noticed before, of course, but it was especially present this time as I felt his hard body pressed against mine and listened to the sounds of him drinking my blood. His soft moans and the way he was moving his body against me told me everything I needed to know about how drinking blood felt to a vampire. It was as I had suspected; the act was closely related to sex for vampires.
The first time Zero had sucked my blood, I had been too panicked to notice the pleasure that came with the act; however, the next time when I had been less frightened and had in fact instigated it, I had guiltily noted that the act of him sucking my blood was not unpleasant; in fact, it felt good in a sense. Since then, I had not dreaded the times when Zero would suck my blood.
The fact that it clearly gave him pleasure as well didn't hurt my perception of the event either. He never would admit it, I assumed because of the fact that he saw what he was doing as despicable; but he could not hide certain things from me as he molded his body to mine, and his hands shook with the effort of staying in their spot holding my wrists, resisting the temptation to wander elsewhere. Part of me knew that this was bad, that I shouldn't enjoy this; however another, sinful part of me wanted so badly for him to lose control and touch me in intimate ways as the act of giving him pleasure and being pleasured seemed to send waves of heat to the center of my body.
In a moment of heated desire, I asked him breathily, "Zero…what does my blood…taste like?"
He pulled back, turning me around to face him. "Why do you want to know?" He asked me, looking disgusted. Knowing we were dangerously close to the topic of Maria, I looked away, and he took my reaction as disgust at him, just as he always did. He came towards me and pushed me into the wall again, this time facing him. Though I was initially surprised I reminded myself that he had probably lost a lot of blood and thus needed a lot to rejuvenate.
I put my hand in his hair, knowing it would put his mind at ease. As the minutes passed, my hand in his hair and being able to satisfy his bloodlust seemed to relax him, and he finally pulled away, wiping his mouth, looking at me with such sad eyes, and then he put his forehead on my shoulder, seemingly overwhelmed with something beyond my understanding.
*So when Yuki thinks that "Zero certainly couldn't monitor the ball on his own", this is just her justifying her actions (seeing as he definitely could have handled the ball on his own). Also, the yearning look on Zero's face is not necessarily bloodlust. As we all know he "yearns" for Yuki in more ways than one. Also (last note I promise) in my mind, Yuki doesn't realize the true depth of Zero's feelings or her own, but obviously it is still possible to feel pleasure with one you don't love (or don't realize you love, anyway). Anyways, thank you for reading, tell me your thoughts! Anything helps!