Author's Note: WOW! The response of chapter four has totally floored me. AND I LOVED IT! Thank you so so so much for your reviews, your story alerts, your author alerts, and adding me and this story to your favorites. You all are completely amazing and I love ya all for it! As that being said... I hope you continue to stick with me... the next several chapters are going to be ... not as expected. I don't want to give anything away. Please stick with me. Thanks Again!
And because the response of chapter 4, I worked hard the last two days to put out chapter 5.. :-)
Chapter Five
The Scent Of Love
It was May first. A whole month had passed since Tank, Lester, and Bobby dropped the worst news she had ever received in her lap. Her life had barely ceased to exist. She rarely went outside her apartment. She hated going anywhere. She was constantly bombarded with people wanting to tell her how sorry they were and blah blah blah. She didn't give a shit. She just wanted to be left alone. Connie and Lula were finally taking the hint and leaving her be and not mentioning Ranger. She barely talk to anyone, she just wasn't able to yet. She hadn't seen her family since before…
She barely ate. Almost every time she took a shower, she ended up on the floor sniffing his shower gel and sobbing. So she only took showers when needed. It wasn't that she wanted to live like this, because she didn't. She tried almost every day to get up and go on with her life. To go back to picking up skips, hanging out with her friends, and eating dinner at her parents, but it was impossible. She couldn't go a day without being reminded of Ranger. As soon as he entered her head, she started crying all over again.
She knew others were grieving as well. As someone pointed out to her, she knew Ranger had other family and friends and they too were grieving. But how could she give them a soothing word when all she felt like doing was crying or screaming in absolute outrage of how wrong it was that his life was taken so soon. She wanted to hunt down the prick who dare take Ranger from her, but if he so easily took out Ranger than what chance in hell did she have. So she was at her wits end. She wanted out.
She pulled up in front of her parents' place and actually smiled when she saw her mother on the front stoop. Today, she had come to see her mother. She wasn't sure how she would be greeted, but she needed her mom. As she walked towards her, she prepared herself for a lot of things but she wasn't prepared for what happened. Her mother opened her arms and pulled Steph into a hug. Helen squeezed her daughter.
"I'm so sorry, Sweetie." Her mother whispered.
Steph started crying all over again. They stood at the entrance of her childhood home and while her mother held her in her arms, Steph cried. Deep gut wrenching sobs that shook her whole body. Her mother just held her close and told her to cry it all out. She didn't tell her that it would all be alright or it would eventually get better with time or her all-time favorite, he's in a better place. Nope, her wonderful mother just told her to cry all she wanted as she held her close.
When Steph was finally able to stop crying, her mother urged her into the house and towards the kitchen. As Stephanie sat down, her mother went to pulling things out of the refrigerator and cabinets. Before long Steph had a huge ham sandwich in front of her with a giant piece of chocolate cake, pineapple upside down cake, and a tall glass of chocolate milk. Steph ate the ham sandwich first, drinking most of the milk as she did. While her mother refilled her glass, Steph started in on the pineapple upside cake.
"This is really good, Mom." Steph complimented.
Helen smiled at her daughter. "I'm so glad to see you eating, Honey. I apologize for this, but you look like a walking skeleton zombie." She replied tactfully.
Steph grimaced. "It's been hard to eat."
Her mother sat down next to her, patting her shoulder sympathetically. "I know. I understand, Steph. I understand exactly what you're going through."
Steph looked up in surprise. "You do?"
She nodded. "I do."
Steph abandoned the half gone cake and gave her mother her full attention. "You mean with Grandpa?"
Helen shook her head. "I was married before your father."
Steph's eyes widened in surprise. "You were?"
She nodded then. "I was."
"But I didn't know and I don't think Valerie knows either."
"No she doesn't know. I never told anyone but your father and well your Grandmother knows too, but it was only for a few months so I just decided not to speak of it."
Steph finished her chocolate milk. "What happened?"
"As I said we were only married a few months before he was shipped off overseas. About a month after he left, I got word that he had been killed during duty. I loved him terribly and when I got word of his death, I was inconsolable. I did the same thing you've been doing, Steph."
"Really?"
Helen nodded. "Oh yes. I refuse to eat. I could barely sleep. I refuse to see anyone; friend or otherwise. I refused any comfort anyone tried to give me."
"How long was it before you met daddy?"
"It was a little over a year later before I met your father."
Steph pursued her lips. "Does it get any easier?"
Her mother frowned, shaking her head. "I wish I could tell you that the pain goes away and it gets easier with time, but Honey the pain never goes away. It will always be there. But it does get easier with time. It will always hurt, Stephanie, but the only way to live life is learn to live through the pain. As days go by, you find ways to live with that pain. And only then it will it become bearable."
She let out a sigh. "How can I learn to live with the pain when I'm reminded daily of Ranger? Everything reminds me of him and people are constantly coming up to me with their apologies."
"Stephanie, did you love him?"
Tears filled her eyes and she nodded. "I didn't realize how much I really loved until –."
Her mother gave her another hug. "I know. It's shitty, isn't it?" She said once she pulled back to look at her daughter.
Steph gasped. She had never heard her mother say any curse word. It shocked her and it made her smile. "It's totally shitty, Mom. I loved him so so much. So much that just the thought of never seeing him takes my very breath."
Helen touched a palm to her daughter's cheek. "As you love him, he'll always be with you."
"You think?"
"I know."
"Would you be upset if I decided to leave Trenton?"
"Oh honey, of course I won't. I know you've got to get out. Maybe getting out will help you heal. Just promise me one thing."
"What?"
"That you'll come home eventually."
Steph smiled and nodded. "That I can definitely promise."
"Good." Her mother jumped out of her chair and disappeared. She heard her going upstairs and then to their bedroom before she descended back down the steps and into the kitchen. She handed Steph a piece of paper. No, she handed her a check for ten thousand dollars.
"Mom! What is this?"
Her mother flushed. "Well you know your father and I don't live a lavish lifestyle so when Valerie first told us she was pregnant, we opened a savings account for their college. We've save quite a bit and your father and I would like for you to take it. See the world, live a little, have fun, and mourn your friend."
Once again, Steph found herself crying. She gave her mother a huge hug. "Thank you, Mom, but I can't take it." She tried handing the check back. "Really Mom, I'll be fine. Ranger gave me some money."
"And if I know you, you don't want to spend it."
Steph nodded sheepishly. "I don't want to, but he did give it to me so…"
Helen pushed the check towards her daughter. "Take the money. Go see the world. Grieve and heal in your own way."
She gave her mother another hug. "Thanks Mom."
Helen pulled back, holding her upper arms to look her daughter in the eyes. "I know we haven't always seen eye to eye and I can be a nag, but I love you, Stephanie Michelle. You're my daughter and I love you more than anything. You're strong, Stephanie and I know it's going to be hard, but you're going to be okay. I know it."
Steph smiled through another haze of tears. "I love you, Mom."
"I love you too."
R&SR&SR&SR&SR&SR&SR&SR&SR&SR&S
Steph gave the camera her signature finger wave and a small smile. She knew she had to talk to Tank before she could make her final decision. She needed to say good bye to Ranger as well. A more of a final good bye and she was here to get that as well. She stepped off the elevator and headed towards Tank's office. She was stopped by Cal, Ram, Zip, and Woody before she could get there. They gave her hugs and kisses to the cheek. They didn't mention Ranger, but she did. She told them she knew they were grieving for their boss and their friend. They smiled tightly and gave her another hug. She hated that they were all suffering.
She knocked on Tank's office door.
"Come in, Little Girl."
Steph entered, giving Tank a hug upon entry. Tank returned her hug with eagerness. Once they parted, Tank took a seat behind his desk and Steph the chair opposite him.
"What do I owe the pleasure of this visit? Not that I'm complaining. It's great to see you."
Steph smiled softly. She could see visibly the effects of Ranger's death was on Tank. He was tired. He looked softer almost. She had been a very rude friend and she hated herself for it.
"Well, I wanted to talk about RangeMan."
Tank looked almost relieved. "You're going to sign the papers?"
Steph chewed on her bottom lip. "I wanted to ask about Ranger's will. I mean… I don't want anything of his, but…"
Tank interrupted her. "Ranger's lawyer was told you weren't obligated to be at the Will's reading."
"Is that legal?"
Tank cocked an eyebrow. "This is Ranger, we're talking about."
Steph gave him a grin. "That's true. What about his family? You guys?"
"You don't have to worry about any of them, Steph. Ranger didn't forget any of his family or his friends."
"Are you sure?" She asked skeptically.
Tank nodded. "I'm positive, Steph. Don't worry."
"What about the envelope that you gave me?"
Suddenly, Tank looked uncomfortable. "Ranger gave that to me before he left. He always gives me one before he leaves and I return it to him once he returns."
Steph knew he wasn't speaking the full truth, but she didn't call him on it. "So… about RangeMan?"
"Do you have the papers?" He asked.
Steph pulled them from her pocket book. "I haven't signed them. I haven't even read them."
Tank frowned. "Why?"
She shrugged. "I wanted you to tell me what I'll be taking over once I sign these papers."
"Well… you'll have final say in everyone we hire and fire. You'll have final say in everything from the clients' contracts, the clients themselves, business supplies, raises. You'll have say in everything. Not to mention Ranger's apartment on seven is now yours and his office is yours. Um… all is his cars are now yours along with the business account." Tank rubbed the back of his neck. "You're also in full possession of his personal account."
Steph grimaced. She didn't want his damn money. "Um… do I have to be here for all that?" She questioned.
Tank was confused. She could see it on his face. "I don't understand."
"I want to leave Trenton. I want to travel a little bit, get away from everything that reminds me of Ranger."
Tank looked extremely uncomfortable now. He was even fidgety in his chair. "Are you sure you want to leave Trenton?"
Steph nodded. "And I'm telling you so you won't track my every move. But I'm thinking since that was Ranger's orders and he's not here to give them anymore that won't be a problem."
If anything Tank got even more uncomfortable. "You want to leave Trenton?"
Steph slowly nodded. "I need to get away so we need to figure out some way that I can do that."
"Well we don't need to hire any more help right now and Ranger just gave raises so I guess everything else can be done through email and phone conversations."
"And fax." Steph added.
Tank nodded. "Yes and fax. Do you know where you're going?"
She shook her head. "I just want to get away."
"Do you need a vehicle?"
She shook her head again. "Nope, I've got my Kia."
Tank nodded surely. "You like that car, don't you?"
Steph smiled. "Yes I do."
Tank pushed the papers toward her. "Go ahead and sign them, please."
She shook her head. "Not quite yet. There's a few more things I want to discuss before I sign them."
"Like what?"
"I don't want Ranger's office, his apartment or his cars touched. I won't be gone forever so I can use them –if I want to once I return. "
Tank smiled. "That sounds like a plan. What about the business account? I've got the right to get what's needed if that's okay."
Steph nodded. "That's fine. And everything else can be communicated by phone, email, or fax when needed."
"I'm so happy to hear that Steph."
She grabbed the pen and signed the papers.
"Welcome to RangeMan, Steph."
"Thanks Big Guy."
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Steph entered Ranger's –and it would always be his– apartment and an immediate calm settled over her. She knew he was gone, but she could still feel his presence. It wrapped around her in a soothing manner, giving her hope for the future. She could smell him, it was almost as if he had just left that very morning. She had thought it would be eerily quiet, but she had been wrong. She just might move in here once she returned.
She passed by the living area, stopping to peer in. Nothing was out of place. She was sure that was more Ella doing than Ranger's. The kitchen too was spotless and she couldn't resist peeking into the refrigerator and the cabinets. Bottles of water lined one shelf and two six packs of beer was on the second shelf. Vegetables were in one crisper and apples and oranges were in the other one. The cabinets were filled with healthy cereals, granola bars, and cans of mix for protein shakes. She smiled at the sight. Him and his damn bark and twigs.
She left the kitchen and entered his bedroom. His smell was strongest here and she inhaled deeply. Choking back a set of tears, she opened his closet doors. Nothing had been moved. She brushed by the door and backed up when Ranger's scent filled her nostrils so strongly, she thought he was standing beside her. On the back of the door, hanging on a hook was a black hoodie jacket. She took it down and brought it to her nose. Ranger wrapped around her and she shivered. She laid the jacket on the bed and went back to the closet. She grabbed two of his Armani black silk shirts and laid those on the bed. She went through his dresser drawers, grabbing several black t-shirts and boxers. Those too found their spot on the bed.
She entered the bathroom and took another deep breath. The shower gel and Ranger's scent was strong in here too. She grabbed the bottle of Bulgari shower gel from the shower shelf and then looked under the sink. She smiled and grabbed the full bottle. She wanted to make sure she had plenty. She always felt better with Ranger's scent wrapped around her. She carried the bottles back to the bedroom and placed them on the bed. She found a duffel bag in the closet and filled it with Ranger's clothes. After dropping the duffel bag by the front door, she went back into his bedroom and stared at the bed.
She quickly dialed Tank.
"Yo."
"Hey Big Guy, is it true that Ranger's apartment is now my apartment?" Steph asked uncertainly.
"Yes." He stressed the one syllable word. "Why?"
"So I can take anything I want from it?"
"Of course. Ranger would want you to feel at home and take what you want. Why?" He asked again.
"I was just checking. Can you have Ella put fresh sheets and a new comforter on the bed? Oh and empty the crispers. Both of them are filled with fresh fruits and veggies. I don't want those going bad and stinking up the apartment."
"Um… okay. Sure, I'll tell Ella."
"Thanks Tank."
"Um… no problem." And he hang up. They all had terrible phone manners.
She folded up the comforter as best as she could and carried it down the stairs to her car. She put it in the back seat and then went back upstairs to grab the sheets and the duffel. She was able to shove the sheets in the duffel, there wasn't any more space though.
She made sure everything was turned off and headed to the front door. The only place she left alone was Ranger's home office. She just couldn't make herself go in there. She picked up the duffel bag, opening the door, she took one more last look at Ranger's apartment and said her goodbyes.
"I'm sorry I never told you. I'm sorry I never got that chance. I love you, Ranger. I love you with everything that I am and I always will. You are my heart and my soul. You are my Batman. I will never forget you, Ranger. I will always remember everything you have ever done for me and I will hold it close to my heart and cherish it always. Rest in peace, Batman. I love you."
She made it down the stairs, to her car, and all the way home without crying. Once she got to home, she grabbed the duffel bag and his blanket and entered her apartment. She carried them into her bedroom, but she dropped the duffel on the floor. She climbed onto her bed, wrapped herself in Ranger's scent, and cried until she fell into a deep sleep.