A/N: Depressing Thiefshipping for EgyptianBlueEyes. Just because I feel like being that guy. Also, I'm currently listening to Beg by Evan's Blue and that's not exactly a happy song. Um... Yeah. So enjoy? I said Powershipping was next. I lied. I really will stop doing that some day... Flashbacks are between page breaks, in italics! Play list for this would be:
Beg by Evans Blue, Monster by MEG & Dia, Gift for You by Celldweller, Never Let Me Go by Florence and the Machine, and Holding On by Ellie Goulding.
They really set the atmosphere.
Chapter Nineteen: Thiefshipping (again)
Bakura slid through the door of the coffee shop, eyes wary. He'd seen Marik enter through the door just moments before. He was doing nothing except hurting himself more.
But he had to see him again.
They hadn't ended on good terms. There was no 'We can still be friends' talk. No, it was all screaming, hitting, hurling insults.
And he'd said horrible things.
But now it was like he saw him everywhere. He couldn't escape him, he couldn't turn a single corner without Marik being right there. Usually, the Egyptian was alone, but sometimes he was with his other.
Mariku.
Like right then. They were sitting at the furthest table from the entrance, heads close in conversation. Neither one looked up when he entered. If they noticed just who it was that was ogling them from afar, they didn't acknowledge it. He swallowed hard and slunk to the counter, blindly ordering whatever special they were serving that day. He slid into a seat, far away from Marik, where he could watch him without worrying about him noticing.
He was obsessed.
A few months ago, that would have been them. Heads bent together, plotting. There were moments in Bakura's mind that he would do anything to relive. He looked on those moments like they were a treasure. Every night, he brought them up in his mind, making sure he wouldn't forget them.
He didn't know what he'd do with himself if he forgot what it was like to be happy. He needed to remember those moments, almost as bad as he needed to forget them. They made him happy, yes, but once the memory faded and he remembered that Marik was no longer with him, around him, the depression swam in and images of Marik and Mariku tangled up in each other would swim to the front of his mind.
He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Would he ever win?
Marik flew through the crowd, eyes set ahead. Bakura was struggling to keep up,, shoving random people down in his haste.
"Slow the hell down!" he snapped. Marik shook his head and threw a smile over his shoulder before speeding up. Bakura hissed as someone stepped on his foot but pushed on. Finally, the hikari stopped, eyes shining.
"Look, Baku! Look at it!"
Bakura's eyes traveled up to take in the Ferris wheel. He sighed as Marik slid into the line, gesturing for Bakura to follow him. He shook his head and began to walk away, but Marik caught him.
"Bakura, please? I've never ridden one of these things. I don't want to go by myself..."
Bakura stared at him. Was Marik admitting fear? Honestly, he never thought Marik was afraid of anything. Of course, everyone was afraid of something. But Marik?
So he followed him, got into a stupid car, and held the Egyptian's hand as the wheel began to move. Marik's eyes were caught between being closed and open. He wanted to see everything, but nothing.
"Bakura!" he cried as the ride came to a screeching halt. Marik threw his arms around Bakura's waist as the whitette leaned over the side to see the hold up. Several men were gathered around the control panel, pushing random buttons.
"We're stuck." he said finally. Marik whimpered and began to shake. He very nearly pointed out at it had been his idea, not Bakura's, but held his tongue when he saw genuine fear in his little lover's eyes.
"Marik... are you afraid of heights?"
Said hikari looked up and nodded quickly. Bakura sighed and pulled him into his lap, shushing him. He rocked back and forth slowly, words from a lullaby long swallowed by the sands leaving his lips before he could think about it.
Marik relaxed, but he didn't move. Bakura continued to rub circles on his back and sing. Marik looked up at him, such love shining in his eyes, that Bakura was caught off guard for a moment.
"You're amazing, Bakura..."
Bakura stared into his coffee, trying to hold on to the feel of Marik holding on to him for dear life.
But it wasn't the same. He looked over the rim of his cup, feeling a stab of absolute agony when Marik's hand grasped Mariku's. He doubled over for a moment, a gasp leaving his lips as Mariku leaned forward and gently kissed Marik on the forehead.
That should be him, not Mariku. He sat perfectly still when the two rose and headed for the door, not once looking his way.
But a hitch in Marik's normally confident step told him he knew he was there. Bakura swallowed and hung his head.
What we he doing?
Marik swept into the room, a ridiculous smile on his face. He was usually like that, happy for no reason.
Bakura didn't know it was because of him.
"Bakura~!" he sang. He threw himself on the couch beside his lover, handing an envelope to him. Bakura eyed the crest on the front with mild interest. "Open it!" Marik whispered.
He did. Inside, an acceptance letter from Oxford University in England. His eyes snapped up to Marik,
"You've been saying how much you miss Ryou... So I applied. They accepted. We can move to England, now."
Bakura felt caught between awe and an overwhelming joy. Marik had done this for him? He was willing to leave Isis and Rashid?
"Are you okay?" Marik asked, chewing his lip. Bakura looked from the letter to him,trying to calm his racing thoughts. He threw the letter on the small wooden table his feet had been propped on and shoved Marik back so he could straddle his hips.
"Am I okay? Of course I am." he whispered against his lips. Marik trembled beneath him when his fingers began trailing up his sides. The simplest touch from Bakura sent his head reeling. "I love you, Marik."
The Egyptian beneath him sucked in air, feeling tears prick at the corner of his eyes. It was the first time Bakura had ever said it. The elder smiled down at him, his own eyes shining. Marik stroked Bakura's cheek before leaning up to whisper in his ear.
"I love you more."
Bakura growled and trapped the hikari's bottom lip between his teeth, massaging and sucking. Marik moaned, hands sliding under Bakura's shirt before slipping it over the Thief's head. Bakura leaned back and kissed every part of the younger's face before sliding that familiar purple shirt over his head.
"Bakura, don't leave me."
Bakura paused his administrations to Marik's chest to meet his eyes.
"Never."
Pants were discarded, moans and gasps filled the room. Finally, Bakura was at Marik's entrance, eyes half lidded. Marik threw his head back and fisted his hand into the couch as he slid in, moaning at the heat that enveloped him. His eyes slid closed as he lost himself within Marik.
But his lover always brought him back.
"Move, Bakura. Move, habibi."
He pulled out slowly before gliding back in. Marik's toes curled, his cries growing in volume. Tonight wasn't the night for release. It was a night for love.
"Yes, Bakura. Ah..."
Marik's body rolled with Bakura, thrust for leisurely thrust. Bakura panted lightly against Marik's lips. The hikari shook and writhed beneath him each time his prostate was brushed. Bakura sucked at the spot just below his ear and trailed his hand down that perfect body to Marik's neglected member. He stroked firmly, slowly. Marik let out a strangled cry before coming. Bakura moaned Marik's name and rocked in a few more times before releasing himself.
He started to pull out but Marik wrapped his legs around his waist and kept him still. He met his eyes.
"I want you to stay in."
Bakura nodded and lowered his head onto Marik's chest, sighing as tanned fingers traced hieroglyphics on his pale skin.
"I love you..."
Bakura stood abruptly from the table. He threw away his nearly full coffee and exited the shop before looking around. Finally, he caught sight of sunlight reflecting off of that familiar golden jewelry. Just as Marik disappeared around a corner, Bakura began to follow. He didn't know why he was still bothering, but he couldn't let the other out of his sight. Just this once, he wanted to pretend.
Pretend that maybe Marik would turn around, confessing how much he missed his Bakura, how much he needed him.
Only pretend.
Mariku slung his arm around Marik's shoulder and said something that made the hikari smile. Bakura bristled and wondered what was being said. Was it a joke about him? Did Marik tell Mariku Bakura was following them?
He hoped not. If Marik was slandering him, he didn't know what he'd do.
He allowed his mind to travel back to that memory. He wondered if Marik would still attend Oxford this fall. He slid his hand into his pocket and wrapped his fingers around his own acceptance envelope. How he manged it, he'd never know. But it didn't matter. He'd follow Marik to the ends of the earth if he had to. If following him to the same college meant he'd get to be near him for just a few more years, he would do it.
Did do it.
He wondered if Marik would finally talk to him, then. Or if he'd avoid him like he'd been doing for so many months. His heart throbbed with pain again. He'd lost not only a lover but a best friend. No one was left for him to tell everything to.
Didn't he know Bakura had no one else he could trust?
Sometimes, the pain hit him before he could ever tell it was coming. His vision would swim out of focus. The screams of his people would fill his throbbing head as they were thrown into boiling gold. He'd fall the the ground, clutching his head and screaming, tears falling from his eyes.
They'd been together for nearly a year before Marik finally saw one of Bakura's episodes.
Marik was in the shower, Bakura had been sitting on the counter, talking to him. He knew the hikari liked having him there, talking to him.
Then it hit. He fell from the counter, sobs and screams being torn from his throat. He was ten again, watching as Kul Elna was slaughtered by the Pharaoh's men. Marik ripped the shower curtain away, nearly bringing down the bar in the process.
"Bakura!"
That one voice broke through the screams as warm hands descended on his face, back, everywhere. Marik pulled him to his chest, still dripping wet and naked.
"I'm here. Sh, I'm here my love."
Bakura slowly returned to reality. He was shaking violently, no energy left. Silent tears slid down his cheeks and dripped onto Marik's chest. From this angle, he couldn't tell the difference between them and the water.
He hiccuped and looked up at Marik, pain etched into his features.
"What was that?" Marik whispered, brushing away the last of the tears. Bakura broke down, explaining how his people were murdered, how he watched. He drew the scar that used to rest below his right eye with his fingertip. Marik listened, never once loosening his hold.
When Bakura was done, he slumped against him again, eyes closed as though the very telling of his story had taken more out of him than the actual event. Marik tilted his chin up and looked into his eyes.
"Don't be afraid, Bakura. Tell me everything. I want to know all there is to know about you. Please, don't deny me that."
So he didn't, he told him everything. Every single unimportant event his life had to offer, every pain, every fear.
Everything.
Bakura sped up, trying not to lose Marik in the crowd. Why were there so many people?
Then he saw it, rising above everyone's heads. The wheel was shining, lit up by so many lights. Night had fallen, the wind picked up.
And Marik got in line.
Then he shooed Mariku away. He was going alone?
But Mariku left and Bakura slid in behind, several people away from Marik. As Marik was helped into his car, he shook his head. He would indeed be riding alone. Bakura slid in front of the line, ignoring the indigent hisses he got, and slid into the car behind Marik. The hikari turned to look at what was causing the commotion but the ride lurched forward right then, forcing him to turn around.
Bakura didn't look away from him as the ride ascended. Marik's shoulders began to shake and his sobs reached Bakura's ears.
But not from any fear of heights.
"You left me..."
The words fell back to him and he gasped.
Marik was crying over him?
The fight had begun over something stupid, meaningless. Then it escalated. Over the course of days, it became a war. Bakura would hurl an insult, Marik would return it.
Then it was silence. They wouldn't look at each other. Bakura had taken to sleeping on the couch, though not by any demand of Marik. No, it was of his own accord.
"What are we doing?" Marik finally asked one day. Bakura knew he meant the argument, but he replied with the words that would send everything spiraling out of control.
"I've been wondering that since day one!"
Marik fell back against the wall, feeling like all the air had been ripped from him.
"You don't mean that."
Bakura whirled on him, eyes narrowed.
"I do, Marik."
Then it was silent. Marik watched with tears in his eyes as Bakura stormed from the house.
And never came back.
For days, he'd waited by the door. He neglected his food, he refused to answer Isis when she begged for the reasoning.
He was hollow. He walked through his home, on the rare occasions he actually drug himself out of bed for, with tears shining in his eyes. His voice was hoarse from disuse. Everywhere he looked, he saw Bakura.
He eyed the little amber gem he'd gotten him from a trip a few years back. He wanted so badly to shatter it...
But he didn't want to lose any ties to Bakura.
He fingered the necklace around his neck. Another gift from Bakura. He did rip that one off, throwing it into a box and under his bed.
But he still refused to get rid of it.
The small teddy bear that said 'Be Mine' still slept against his pillows. Another gift, Valentine's Day.
He couldn't get rid of them.
He slept in Bakura's jacket, the scent of his love surrounding him.
He wouldn't let go... couldn't let go...
Over the course of weeks, he began to come out of his shell. He found refuge in Mariku, not love.
Never love.
The ride lurched to a stop, forcing Bakura against the opposite seat. Marik whimpered in fright and whirled around, eyes wild. Bakura stood in his car, ignoring the screams from below.
"Bakura!" Marik sobbed. Bakura felt all reason shatter as he stepped up to the edge of the car.
"I love you..." he whispered.
Then threw himself over the side.
He couldn't take anything anymore. He'd broken his promise to Marik, he'd caused them both hell.
He didn't deserve to live.
A hand grasped his as he free fell through the air. He turned his head, fighting against the wind, and gasped.
There, beside him, tumbling to his death, was his one and only. He pulled him as close as he could and breathed in his scent one... last... time...
And confessed his love once more before splattering against the concrete below.
I'll never leave you...
A/N: WOAH. Uhhh... Woah. Just woah. I hope y'all enjoyed this. I don't know why it's so depressing. But yeah. That happened. Thanks, mom, for reading this and telling me to step away from all things that could be used to kill myself. Thanks a bunch. She's still going through the house, making a show of hiding knives and what-not from me. XD
Review? Don't forget about Find a Way!
~Nightingale.