Sorry... Please forgive me.. :-)
Characters are NOT mine and I am NOT making any money.
Chapter Twelve
Forgiveness Is The Attribute of the Strong
By the time Steph made it to Harley's gym, she was in tears. Again. She was so tired of crying. Tired of the red swollen eyes and the Rudolph nose. She vowed that once all this was behind her –and she knew that day would eventually come– she would never cry again. She pulled open the doors to the gym and was greeted by Teresa's sunny smile. That smile immediately turned into a frown when she saw Steph and the tears making tracks down her cheeks.
"Oh Honey, what's wrong?" She asked concerned then shaking her head. "I'll get Harley right away." She picked up the phone and hit a button before speaking in hushed tones. Steph just waited, smiling softly at Teresa when she covered her hand with her own and giving it a pat. She hung up the phone just as quickly but didn't get a chance to say anything. Harley came bursting through a door at a dead run not far from behind Teresa.
He muttered a quick thanks to Teresa before pulling a still crying Steph into what she now knew was in his office. Even though they had become great friends the last few weeks, she had never been in his office. Harley pulled her into the circle of arms and waited for her to cry herself out. In the past few weeks as their friendship had blossomed, Harley had come to know Steph's crying jags over her friend, Ranger. He wasn't sure if this was the same thing, but he knew the only thing he could do was wait.
He didn't have to wait long for Steph was ready to tell all. "Ranger's alive." She blurted out against his massive chest.
Gripping her upper arms, he pulled back to look at her in disbelief. "What?"
Steph shook her head and took a deep breath. "Ranger is alive."
He gave her a 'yeah right' look. "The same Ranger that was killed in an explosion?"
Steph nodded.
"Um… can you explain please?" Harley asked, so nicely that it made Steph smile through blurry eyes.
Fifteen minutes later, they were seated on the large black leather sofa in Harley's office as Steph just finished telling Harley the whole story.
"So he faked his death to protect his family and you?"
Steph nodded.
"Why show himself now? After all this time?"
"They killed the one that was after him."
"They?"
"Ranger, Lester, and Ram, I think. Maybe Bobby but I'm not entirely sure."
"So he just popped up this morning out of nowhere?" Harley questioned looking a little weirded out.
Steph nodded again. "Well, remember I told you that I felt like I was being followed?"
"Yes. It was Ranger?"
"No, it was one of my old skips, Dale. He broke into my hotel room this morning and gave me a jolt with a stun gun when I was barely awake. He took me to this concrete basement to kill me."
"What?!" Harley practically bellowed.
She patted his cheek. "Calm down. I got myself out of it thanks to everything you taught me and my pure Jersey girl attitude, but Ranger just showed up where Dale had me and said he had Dale bugged because he knew he was following me."
Harley shook his head, anger marring his handsome features. "If he knew this Dale guy was following you then why didn't he do something about it?"
"He said he couldn't, but he also said that he knew I was aware that I was being followed and I was being cautious about it." Steph gave him a smile. "I owe that all to you."
Harley returned her smile, but it wasn't there long. "This is, I'm sure a stupid question, but were you happy to see him?"
Steph's teeth sunk into her bottom lip and she nodded. "I was so happy to see him that I just wanted to hug him and never let go."
"Then why are you here with me and not with him, Sweetheart?" He asked gently.
Steph shrugged. "He lied to me, Harley. And I know deep down in my heart that he did the right thing, it still hurts. He's never lied to me before and takes my breath away every time I think about it. Oh God, just the thought of it hurts so much."
Harley leaned forward and cupped Steph's face. "Steph, what he did was the ultimate sacrifice. I bet he knew how much it was going to hurt you and his mother when you learned of his death. I bet he also knew how pissed you would be when you discovered the truth. So he didn't apologized for doing what he did, I can understand that. But that doesn't mean he can't apologize for hurting you, for upsetting you."
"And he won't apologize for hurting me either, that isn't his way." Steph replied.
"Ask for the apology, Sweetheart. Tell him that you would like an apology for the way he hurt you. Not for doing what he did because you know it was the right thing to do, but for causing you pain."
"And if he doesn't?" Steph questioned sadly, wanting to be realistic.
Using a single thumb, he gently wiped a single tear from Steph's cheek. "If he can't apologize for hurting the one woman who loves him more than anything in this world, then you need to ask yourself if the relationship is worth it."
She sighed. "But I love him, Harley and I can never love anyone else but him."
Harley gave her a sad smile. "But what's love if you're miserable."
Her eyes narrowed. "You're not saying this so I'll forget all about Ranger and hook up with you, are you?" Steph asked, getting a little angry at Harley.
Harley shook his head. "I want you to be happy, Stephanie. I know with Ranger you'll be happy, but only if you know he loves you just as much you love him."
Steph let out another sigh. "The only way for me to know that is to ask him, right?" Steph asked, already knowing and dreading Harley's answer.
He chuckled. "Tell him how you feel and see how he responds."
"What if it isn't the response I want, Harley?" Steph whined.
"You already know the answer to that, Sweetheart."
"Ugh! You're right. I do, but I'm not sure I really want to know the answer."
Harley leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Yes you do."
She let out one more sigh before giving Harley a hug. "Thank you, Harley."
He returned her hug, smoothing a hand up and down her back. "Anytime."
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Steph returned to the hotel; the one where she left Ranger. He was still there and he didn't look happy. Until he saw her. He stood and immediately pulled her into his arms. Steph went willingly. She clung to him like she was afraid he might disappear if she let him go. She didn't cry, she was thankful for that. However she did take deep breaths, breathing him in. He seemed to be doing the same thing to her. His nose was buried in her hair. She could feel him drag in deep breaths and then let them slowly out.
"Babe." He whispered against her hair. "Dios Mio I missed you." He squeezed her tighter to him.
Steph squeezed him back. "I missed you too, Ranger. So much."
He took another deep breath before pulling back to look her at her. "Are you still upset with me?"
Steph shook her head and then nodded making Ranger chuckle. She grinned. "I'm upset but I understand why you did it now. I'm sorry I took off like that. I needed to talk to someone that wasn't close to you."
His brows furrowed in confusion. "Explain."
Steph kept the grin to herself, but she was honest to herself. She missed his one word replies. "Because anyone close to you would have automatically told me to forgive you. I didn't want that."
His frown became harder and his lip actually curled in disgust. "So you went and talked to Harley." He spat the name.
Steph nodded. "I did talk to Harley and he gave me good advice. He made me see."
"Made you see what?"
"That yes I'm mad at you, but I can forgive you because I know what you do was for the right reasons." There was no way she could tell him she loved him. Not right now.
He kissed her forehead. "Babe, I hated that I had to hurt you. I knew what the aftermath was going to be and I hated every minute of it. Tank, Lester, and Bobby hated lying to you, but oh hell, Babe I hated it even more."
Steph cupped his cheek. "I know you had to do it, but I understand that you did. I don't want you to apologize for doing the right thing, but I –
He pressed a finger to her parted lips. "I'm sorry I had to put you through all that pain. If I can and if you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life making sure you never feel that type of pain again."
Steph's eyes widened. "Does that mean maybe… our someday…" Steph trailed off.
Ranger gently brushed her mouth with his. "I can't promise forever right now, Babe. I'm still in contract with the government."
"But do you love me?" Steph asked afraid to admit that she loved him.
He brushed another kiss against her mouth. "Steph, I do love you. I always will, but in my own way, Babe. I can't offer any more than that because I don't know when I'll have to ship out again or if I'll be back."
Steph let his words sink in slowly before she pulled away from his warm embrace. "So it goes back to what it was like before you left? Before you died?" She sneered.
Ranger ran a hand over his face. "No. Not exactly. The cop is no longer an option for you. For two reasons. One, I don't share, not with any one and that includes the tall overgrown one or the cop and two, Morelli is engaged."
Steph looked up. "Joe's getting married?" She asked grinning. Ranger took that as a good sign and nodded. "Good. I'm glad he's happy. Although it didn't take him long did it?"
Ranger shrugged slightly. "He's not good enough for you."
"But you are?" Steph asked.
"I can try."
"You just can't promise forever because of some stupid government contract?"
"Yes."
"Then what exactly, Ranger? Help me understand what that means for us."
"It means we go back to Trenton. We go back to our lives the way they were before I left. We date, you can move in with me if you want. We date. Exclusively."
"If you don't share, does that mean I have to?"
Ranger shook his head. "I'm faithful, Steph. I'll always be to you."
"And if I don't want to go back to Trenton, right now?"
Ranger's handsome features suddenly became angry. "Does this have something to do with that overgrown barbarian at the gym?" He hissed.
Steph's eyes widened. She had never heard Ranger act this way. Or call someone names. "It has nothing to do with Harley. It has to do with me. I just enrolled in college and even though they're online courses, I want to stay in St. Louis and see it through. I don't know if I can do that in Trenton."
Ranger relaxed and pulled Steph back into his arms. "Steph, I have to go back to Trenton. I've got to get my life back in order. To soothe ruffled feathers with certain clients and let the Chief know that I'm back for good and get the word out on Stark that I'm back and badder than ever."
Steph giggled and rolled her eyes. "Badder?"
He smiled as he pressed a hard kiss to her mouth and groaned before pressing deeper, parting her lips with his tongue to gain access to what he one thing he had missed so much. His Babe.
Steph whimpered in his arms and against his mouth before she wrapped her arms around his neck and lost herself in his kiss. And when his warm hands found her smooth skin she helped remove her shirt and then helped remove his. She let herself get lost in him. He whispered sweet words in English and Spanish as he slowly made love to her. Steph lost herself in sensations she had never felt before. When they finally became sated, they fell asleep in each other's arms. Steph finally felt whole once again.
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"So what do you want to do, Babe? It's up to you. I'll stay here for as long as you want." Ranger asked after he finished chewing a bite of his salad. After waking up and making love a few more times, they decided to grab dinner at a local restaurant. Ranger, of course, ordered a salad with grilled chicken. Steph ordered the grilled chicken stir fry. She was glad she did because it was good.
Steph leaned over and kissed him softly. "I know you would, but that's not what you need to do. You need to return to Trenton."
"And you leave you here? By yourself? With Harley?" He asked, his tone telling Steph that was so not going to happen.
Steph laughed. "Harley and me are friends and nothing more. He's harmless, Ranger and I want you to respect that. No background checks. Trust me. Trust my judgment. Please."
Ranger caressed her cheek with his thumb. "I trust you, Steph. Completely."
Steph beamed at him and Ranger couldn't help but return that smile with one of his two hundred watt ones. They suddenly heard a very loud crash and looked over as a waitress grinned at them sheepishly, picking up broken plates and glasses all around her. Steph laughed. Ranger's smile could make any girl (or guy) run into walls and doors or anything else around them. He was just that good-looking.
"Go back to Trenton, Ranger. Get everything settled. Get your life back the way it should be."
"And you?"
"I'll come back. I promised my mom I would and Trenton is my home. It can't be replaced. Ever. You can't be replaced either."
Ranger swallowed and slowly nodded. "Are you sure this is what you want, Babe?"
Steph nodded. "It is. We can talk every night over the phone and you can come and visit me. As soon as I finish my classes and when I'm ready, I'll come back to Trenton."
"Why do you want to wait, Stephanie?" Ranger asked.
Steph rolled her eyes. She knew she wouldn't be able to fool him. "I want to wait until the uproar from your arrival in Trenton dies down."
Ranger nodded, finally understanding. "You don't want to hear all the talk and gossip, huh?"
She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "No, I really don't, but I will be back."
"I'll be waiting."
"I'm glad you're alive, Ranger."
"And you've forgiven me for deceiving you?" He questioned.
Steph nodded. "I have. What you did was the right thing to do."
Ranger grasped her face between his hands and smiled. He brushed a kiss across her forehead, then one on her nose, and then one more on her parted mouth. "Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
Steph grinned. She felt strong. She was strong.