I was finally awake again. The sun was up, and I knew I'd slept for a while… Should have been only one day. So, what to do today… Somepony began pounding on my door, shouting my name. Apparently, life was going to decide my day's events for me this time. Well, let it never be said my life can be boring. I opened my doors to a frantic Whooves. "Lantra, you need to see this!"
"All right, come in." With that reaction, I was nonplussed. See what? With how upset he seemed, I'd have thought Celestia was on here way here right now. His throwing a bundle of colorful papers down on the floor didn't answer any of my questions either. "What's this?"
"PlayColt."
Ok, still getting nowhere. "What? Why would anypony call a pile of paper that?"
"I, what? Oh, right- you've never seen a magazine. I don't, you, just look at it!"
"Ah, now I remembered reading about this sort of thing. Usually they contained interesting articles with eye-cathing pictures, with a great deal of advertisements and promotions. Ah yes, there on the cover was a picture of a very attractive mare in an… interesting post. What kind of name is 'Playcolt? I wondered to myself as I started to open the work. It just sounds so unprofessional. So… …oh. Oh! "Umm… Whooves?"
He turned deep red. "Yhea, I know. Don't ask. Just turn to the middle."
"I'm not sure I want to look through this right now… I mean, it's a little awkward with another stallion right there, and… um…" Now we were both red.
"No, no… you can peruse it later if you desire- just turn to the middle."
"Hey guys, what's up?"
"Nothing, Derpy. Go back upstairs. Lantra, look. Now."
"Look at what?"
"Nothing, Derpy."
I resigned myself and let the magazine fall open to its center. As soon as I did so, I realized two things.
1.- Derpy was flying above me, looking over my shoulder at this …heated magazine
2- I was looking down, at this magazine, at Derpy!
My mind made several fast jumps as I stared at the two-page image of MY Derpy, laying on her back, head twisted prettily and legs wide, leaving all to any read- um… peruser to see! I couldn't help it- I turned to look up at the real Derpy above me. Her eyes were huge, glued to the magazine in concert. Her mouth was forming sounds, but nothing came out. I looked back at Whooves. "What is this?"
"It's called a cernterfold- they focus on a specific mare each month. She lacks details that most featured mares have, but more pictures than usual…
I was about to explain that hadn't been what I'd meant, but was prematurely interrupted by another, far more controlled knock. "Ditzy Doo, get your flank out here at once!" Behind me, Derpy made a little 'eep' and flew over me and out the door.
Whooves raised an eyebrow. "Ditzy Doo?" I shrugged, as puzzled as he. "You going to go see what that's about?"
"…I should."
"All right. I just felt you should see."
"How bad is this going to be for her?"
"Bad. Not too many stallions here in Ponyville get this magazine, but in Canterlot it's huge. A lot of big stars get found through these shoots, or visa versa."
"Great. Leave that thing in my room."
"Will do. I'll get my informants on who's responsible for this."
"Thank you, but I already know who. Just get into damage control."
Derpy was only a few feet from my door, cowering in front of an older, familiar looking mare. I could only assume this was her mother. The stars must have been shining upon me- the elder had not noticed me yet, as she was facing away. I held up to listen and get a judge of the problem.
"-and as if you werne't already a failure of a child, now you're set up with some stallion!?"
"Mome, we-"
"You already told me you're not married. You're not even special someponies! As if you picutres were needed to say you were some common stable-mare with insatiable tastes!"
"Mom!"
"And your name! Does no one here even know your real name?" This time Derpy was silent. "I didn't give you abeautiful name for you to throw it awy. And what is this junk!?" My already more-than-present anger flared up stronger as I realized she was referring to my sheets of glass.
"It's Lantra's business…"
"Oh, really." Without turning, she kicked them. I saw red through the pieces.
"Derpy, get back inside." They both looked up, noticing me. "Now."
"Yes, Lan." She quickly fled back in. Her tears moved me past anger to cold fury, just like when I had first entered Ponyville. I glared down at her mother with contempt, which suddenly melded into confused pleasure at the sight of a familiar face.
"How umpleasant to see you again."
"You!"
"I should have guessed Derpy was your descendant. You two look so similar, Elizabeth."
She snarled and stamped a hoof on the ground. Magic flowed over her back, and I was suddenly face to face with a Pegasus in full battle armor. She was quite clearly angry and ready to battle. I, however, had realized two more unexpected things today-
1, I couldn't destroy this link to my lost past- this direct, tangible link to Father.
2, I can't kill Derpy's mom. NOT a good way to win a mare's heart, no matter what kind of relationship the two have…
"SkyTear, what are you doing around my daughter?"
Honesty is always the best policy. Besides, did I honestly think I was going to be nice to her? Nah, put everything out there bluntly. "She is living with me. I go by Lantra now."
With an incoherent scream of rage, she launched herself at me, wingblades shining. Perhapse taunting the crazy mare with her daughter being with someone she still thought was her mortal enemy was the wrong move… I barely threw myself out of the way. "Hold it! You're fighting a battle that ended long ago!"
"Only for you!" Her wings cut across her body as she ducked low, trying to decapitate me. I blocked, forcing us face to face. "You have only yourself to blame for this battle!"
We disengaged circling. "And what's that supposed to mean? Look, calm down Elizabeth! We're on the same side! Besides, how much do you think it would upset Derpy if one of us hurt the other."
As soon as I said Derpy's name, she threw herself into a ground dive, sweeping her blades up to my chest. I dove overhead, knocked her fully to the ground. Spitting out dirt, she turned, glaring. "You're not even worthy to speak that fallacious name! Don't make me laugh- on the same side? Bull shit we are! You killed Cepheus! You've destroyed everything that was! I've seen this world! I've seen the castle!"
"Elizabeth, your mind is still stuck all those years ago. You don't know what has been happening!" I rolled under a swipe. "Cepheus destroyed the castle himself by accident! There's no way you can know what's happening or happened though- Celestia keeps knowledge down. She's more controlling now than the was even back then!"
"How could you know anything about the royal family, common filth! Celestia was just blessed enough to escape your attack and live in benevolence since."
I caught her wing on a row of knives. "I know them quite well. I worked for them for years- I joined the Stellar Regiment."
She stared at me, then slowly lowered her wings. "You… joined…"
"The Stellar Regiment under Cepheus, yes. Chaos Divison. Later, I became Luna's personal guard- one of the Priori Noctournus."
"But, I never heard of-"
"Celestia keeps information down. I told you that." I could see the fight draining out of her as years of realization crashed onto her shoulders.
"But… Cepheus… you…"
"I didn't kill or even hurt him. He was banished by Discord. The other guards and I actually went looking for him! I am no longer actually a therat to the empire, as much as Celestia seems to think so." She was deflated, all the fight in her gone. "You might want to put away the armor, before somepony comes along and questions." She nodded mutely, and the bladed plate shimmered and vanished. Sitting beside me, she stared straight at the ground.
"I… I'm not sure how to take this… I knew some of the armies must have done something- I could feel their souls in the statues in the garden, and Discord was there too. But, I always blamed you for… you know… everything changing. Celestia being in charge. She never was the right child to rule… Cepheus was a great man, but without Pyxis to temper him, he would have been a tyrant… Celestia always took after her father too much. Luna should have been the next ruler, with her mother's true care for the people, if only they had ever paid attention to her. All that ignorance can boil up in a pony…"
"I fought Celestia over than very thing. With the king and queen gone, the sisters were supposed to rule together, but Celestia was too much like her father, as you said… She drove Luna further and further off deliberately, until the pain and hatred overtook my Luna, and she battled her sister. We all fought at her back, while Celestia had only one general and her Celestial Guard. She was actually the pony I killed, not Cepheus…"
"You killed her?!"
"Yeah… But the elements brought her back to life and we lost the war…"
"Elements? You mean the Elements of Harmony?"
"Yeah… How'd you think they got me to join? I traded myself and the Elements to Cepheus for Corozone's life…"
"Oh…"
"So… I guess I must have pushed you through time back then?"
"Yeah… I had no idea what had happened, or what to do… I only knew everything had changed. I ended up using some gold from the ancient castle to raise the girls."
"Girls? Derpy has a sister?"
"Her name is Ditzy!" That fierce temper was back.
"Then why does she call herself Derpy?"
Elizabeth sighed and slouched back down. "She renamed herself as part of 'breaking free from negativity'. It was her nickname from the bullies in schoo. She ended it by taking it as her name… She already had such a cute name…"
"Who was her father?"
Elizabeth turned deep red, reminding me more than ever of her daughter. "I… Cepheus and I used to have a… you know…"
"Ah. And her sister?"
" is actually older by twenty minutes, but she's always acted like a little sister."
"That doesn't surprise me." We sat in awkward silence for a while.
"So… you kept Luna safe? That filly always was too curious…"
"….Apparently not safe enough… I'm sure you've heard of the legend of how terrible Nightmare Moon was… I couldn't protect her through to win the battle."
"Indeed… the failure of a warrior… But you couldn't have changed her heart- that needed time to think, and doubt her negativity. …And that's being generous… I'd always seen the legend of Nightmare Moon as another reason to hate you."
"…I'll bite. How could you hate me for that, when you didn't know I was her guard?"
She laughed bitterly. "Who knows… I hated and blamed you for everything, and now that whole illusion is crashing down around me as I realize my daughter is happy, that you joined my side, that you searched for my love… Don't think you're off the hook for those pictures, though. I, just… You were easy to blame, I guess. When the girls cried at night… When ponies taunted me for having no husband… And now here I am, apologizing to my lifelong scapegoat."
"This is an apology?"
"Shut up or I'll end your freakishly long life. I'm still going to maim you for despoiling my Ditzy!"
"I have done nothing to her- she's too wonderful for anything so crass."
"But, the photos!"
"Filthy Rich."
"Who?"
"A local business stallion. Derpy owed him money, so he used it as a lever to get those images with her innocence as a fulcrum. He's oing to pay, you have my oath on that."
Elizabeth glanced from me to the spring, where the water was jumping up in droplets for no discernible rason, then back to me. "…And the word of a Cascade has always been true… I suppose I must bow and offer apology on all counts… Just do not expect me to be happy about your and Ditzy living together."
"In all honesty, I hope to someday make her my truly special somepony."
"…I had assumed as much… When that time comes, I will simply take you to open combat for her hoof, since her father cannot. Do not think I've let my skills grow rusty, either."
"Of course." Just another reason to practice like a fiend… I knocked on the door. "Derpy?" After a little while, she flew out, looking nervous. "Your mother and I have worked things out, and-"
"Sis!" Derpy flashed past me in a blur. I turned to see her tackling another mare, with a dressed up pony in goggles beside them. Well then… Was this weirdo another relation? I glanced at Elizabeth.
"Is she yours too?"
"No! Heavens no! You don't' know her?"
"No. Is she somepony important, then? I only returned several days ago."
"Returned?"
"Celestia's banishment for standing against her."
"Ah… and with Luna returned, you were allowed to as well?" I gave her a look. "Ah, yes… of course not… An accident, then?" I nodded mutely. "…I see."
"…Well?"
"Well what?"
"Who is she?"
"That is Photo Finish- the most famous fashion photographer in all of Canterlot. I have no idea why she's with Daring."
"Daring?"
"Ditzy's sister- Daring Doo." I looked back at the brown Pegasus picking herself up while Derpy squeaked apologies.
"It's all right, sis." With the hat back in place, it was without a doubt she from those books in Twilight's library. "So, I've seen you're having an interesting time out here."
So, who saw Derpy's sister coming? Also, did anyone see the Playboy reference coming? Hopefully I wasn't too obscure...
I don't own MLPFIM. And anyone who wants a writer for a Playbrony or Playcolt, feel free to message me!