A/N: I'm not big on author intro's, so let's get straight into it :-)
"Wine?"
"Of course," Maura replied, as she followed Jane into her apartment and headed towards the kitchen. She watched as Jane grabbed a wine glass from the cupboard and filled it to her liking with just the right amount of wine, before turning to place the bottle back in the kitchen cabinet.
"Perhaps you could just bring the bottle," Maura said as she picked up her wine, causing Jane to turn with the bottle still in hand, the expression 'really?' written all over her face.
"It's been a long day," Maura responded with an uncharacteristic shrug as she turned on her heel and went to make herself comfortable on the couch.
Jane followed shortly after with the bottle of wine in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. She sat heavily next to Maura before placing the wine on the table and tipping her head back to guzzle her beer.
"So," Jane started as she sat back and turned on the couch to look at her best friend as she sat sipping her wine. "Long day?"
Maura closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning to face Jane. "I'm sorry about today. I didn't mean to get so…" she sighed, closing her eyes again in an attempt to keep her emotions in check. "I didn't mean to get so emotional. I should have squealed when you showed me the ring."
Jane let out a slight laugh, "Maura, you are not the squealing type, and I'm not the gushing, girly type. You don't have to apologise."
After a moment, Jane sat up abruptly, fluttering her right hand about in front of her face, before letting out an excited mock squeal as she placed her left hand out under Maura's nose. Initially taken off guard at the unexpected movement, Maura could only laugh in response. They shared a laugh as they sat back into the couch, drinks in hand.
"Did you know that the clown first appeared in the third millennium BC in Egypt?" Maura said as a matter of fact, turning to face Jane. "They were entertainers who were allowed to mock everybody, including the rulers."
Jane smirked at Maura with her abundance of knowledge. "No, I did not know that."
Maura took this as a sign of encouragement to continue. "Yes, and originally, the circus clown was hired to fill the gap between two shows. He created a gesticulating diversion allowing the acrobats and animals to prepare for their entrance."
"Wow, Maura. That is so interesting," Jane replied before taking a sip of her beer.
Maura looked at Jane through squinted eyes in mock annoyance. "Don't mock me, Jane," she replied before pushing a finger teasingly into her ribs.
They sat in companionable silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Occasionally their eyes would meet, but it was never an uncomfortable glance. Jane stood to grab another bottle of beer; Maura watching as she went before topping up her glass of wine.
Jane sat heavily back on the couch with her beer and a sigh. "I don't think I can marry Casey."
Maura turned her body to face Jane, both confused and relieved, but vowing to be a supportive friend.
Jane turned her head to look into Maura's eyes, looking away again as she tried to explain. "You know how they say 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'? Well, Casey is absent all the time," she explained, turning to mirror Maura's position as she continued. "It's like, when he's away, all I want is for him to be here, but then when he's here… I just want him to leave."
Maura offered an understanding nod in response, not trusting herself to say any more.
"I mean, I do love him," Jane continued, although sounding unsure of her declaration. "But I just know that if one of us gives up our career, or if neither of us gives up our career, it just won't work out between us."
"But Jane," Maura started, placing a hand over Jane's, "how do you know if you don't try?"
Jane looked at Maura's hand covering her own, before raising her eyes to meet Maura's questioning ones.
"Because I don't… I just don't think I even want to try," Jane replied, letting out a long breath. "Wow, that just sounds so terrible, doesn't it," she finished before taking a large swig of her beer.
"Not at all, Jane," Maura replied, caressing Jane's hand in a comforting matter. "You don't want to settle, and if you feel like you might be, then you are making the right decision."
"You think?"
"I know," Maura replied with a small smile. Jane returned her smile before Maura continued. "Jane, you deserve to be with someone that wants to make you happy, no matter what. More importantly, someone who you want to make happy, no matter what."
Jane nodded, understanding what Maura was saying. They sat in silence once again, comforted by the simple fact that they were together. Neither feeling the need to fill the silence in order to simply fill the silence.
"Do you," Jane started, before clearing her throat. "Do you regret not going to be with Ian?" she finished, her eyes not meeting Maura's, but remaining on the cushion that lay between them.
Maura reflected again on her earlier thoughts about how insignificant the pain of losing Ian was in comparison to the thought of losing Jane.
"Honestly, no, I don't," Maura replied confidently. She sought out Jane's eyes before she continued. "I realised… after he left," she began, withholding the fact that it was the thought of losing Jane that made her realisation apparent, "that what I felt for Ian was… superficial. I realised it was the anticipation of what could be that drew me to him and made me think that I loved him. But in all honesty, we never knew each other enough to really be in love. Our fleeting moments together were thrilling, but they didn't hold anything real."
"I think I know what you mean," Jane replied, reflecting on her relationship with Casey. "I just can't imagine changing anything in my life to accommodate for him, which is… which is horrible, isn't it? I mean, if I loved him, shouldn't I be able to make sacrifices to make us work?"
"In a way, yes," Maura replied. "Studies have shown that relationships that involve making compromises are indeed the strongest relationships."
"You mean, like when you say 'I want you to eat something green tonight', and I say 'I'll order extra pickles on my burger? That kind of compromise?" Jane replied, unable to hold back the sarcasm.
Maura smiled in a way that let Jane know, that she knew, that Jane knew exactly what she was talking about.
"Sorry," Jane said with a smile. "I do know what you're saying."
"Jane," Maura began, sitting forward to place her wine on the coffee table before taking Jane's free hand in both of her own. "I don't want to tell you what I think you should do, or whether or not I think you should marry Casey. I realise that my opinion is very much a bias one, and I don't believe it would be fair on you. But… Jane, promise me that whatever decision you make will be based on what you want."
Jane nodded, feeling the onset of tears approaching as Maura continued.
"I'm sorry that I was so emotional today, and I don't want to make you feel like you owe me anything. I should never have put my own insecurities on you," Maura finished, holding back tears.
"What? Maura, no," Jane replied sitting forward to place her beer on the coffee table before embracing Maura in a hug. "Come here," she sighed, rubbing Maura's back in comfort. "You were upset, and I completely understand that."
"You do?" Maura replied, before pulling back to look her in the eye.
"Of course. What, you don't think that I haven't thought about how I would cope without you?"
Jane watch Maura as her eyes became downcast and a slight shrug of indifference graced her shoulders. Jane lifted Maura's chin with a single finger to make Maura look at her, before she cupped the side of her face.
"Maura, your place in my life is… is irreplaceable," Jane whispered, searching Maura's teary eyes for understanding. "Do you know how important you are to me? How special you are?"
A single tear fell from Maura's eye as she fought to hold them back. "No," she replied between ragged breathes as she struggled to keep her eyes locked with Jane's, avoiding them as best she could.
Jane cupped Maura's face with both hands, bringing her face up to find eye contact once again. "Maura, look at me. Look at me, Maura."
The seriousness and roughness of Jane's strained voice helped Maura to lift her eyes, locking them with Jane's. She saw the unshed tears in Jane's eyes as she spoke again.
"You are the most… wonderful person I've ever known, and I would be… I would be lost without you, Maura," Jane said, holding back tears as she watch them fall from Maura's eyes. She wiped the tear stains from Maura's cheeks with her thumbs as she continued.
"You are my rock, do you understand?" Jane pleaded. She let out a slight breathy laugh as Maura shook her head, obviously not understanding the idiom she was referring to. She closed her eyes as she placed her forehead against Maura's.
"It means, you are my strength; the person who is always there for me, even…" she sighed, "even when I don't even realise I need you," Jane finished as her hands fell between them, landing upon Maura's thighs.
Maura's breathing began to settle as she realised that she meant as much to Jane as Jane meant to her. They remained close, foreheads joined, breaths mingling as one, and the feeling of security, safety, and love overwhelmed her senses. Her whole body began to flutter as she realise how easy it would be to inch forward and place her lips upon Janes. The desire to do just that was unexpected. While she didn't want to confuse her need to not be abandoned by Jane with feelings of desire for Jane, she couldn't stop her hands from gliding from Jane's hands, along her arms, and stopping to rest in the crook of her neck.
Jane felt a surge of excitement as Maura's hands travelled the length of her arm, leaving a path of goose bumps in their wake. Her breathing became laboured as she tried to pass off the feeling as a normal reaction to a best friend. Her eyes closed tighter as she fought the onset of desire created by Maura's hands finding their way to hold the side of Jane's face. As she felt Maura's hands brush her hair from her face and pull back, she opened her eyes to see Maura's tear stained face looking back at her expectantly. Expectantly, and confused.
"Jane?" Maura whispered, unsure about where this was, or should be, headed.
As their eyes searched each other's, with brief yet obvious glances towards mouths, the pull they both felt was hard to ignore. Just as they began to move closer, giving in to their desires, the vibration of Jane's phone caused them to spring apart, essentially ending the moment. The vibration was quickly followed by the ring of Maura's phone, indicating that they had a case.
"Rizzoli," Jane answered, standing to pace the living room, avoiding eye contact with Maura.
"Isles," Maura answered shakily from the couch, watching Jane.
After ending the calls, Jane turned to Maura. "We've got a case. Let's go."
A nod was all Maura was able to offer in reply as she stood and made her way to the door ahead of Jane. Jane took a deep breath and ran a shaky hand down her face before picking up her gun and badge and following Maura out the door.