In Imladris- Chapter 3

Next chapter is up! Thankfully my internet seems to have sorted itself out for the moment, so I can keep publishing. Things are starting to get a little more conflicted, and next chapter will be angsty. I just can't help myself sometimes :)

Disclaimer: see Chapter 1

Thunk

An arrow flew straight from the elven bow, its tip driving deep into the woven straw of the target.

Thunk

Another arrow buried itself in the centre of the target.

"Legolas!"

Thunk

This time the arrow went astray, landing on the outer edge of the middle circle. Legolas growled in frustration. One slender hand gently massaged his shoulder as he made his way to the target, seemingly oblivious to the two elves making their way over to him.

Elladan and Elrohir reached him at the target. For several moments, they watched as he struggled to pull out the arrow that was deeply embedded. Neither of them said anything as Legolas cursed softly under his breath. He flexed his shoulders, and the twins did not miss the slight wince that the movement caused.

Elladan frowned, and eventually just stepped forwards and yanked the arrow out in one smooth pull. He handed it to Legolas with a smile on his face.

The smile vanished when he saw Legolas' face, the deep shadows on his face and the little light that seemed to flicker in the silver eyes. He frowned. "Legolas?"

The blond elf shook his head. "I am fine, Elladan" he said stiffly, snatching the arrow out of his hand. He slotted it back into his quiver and began to walk away from the target.

The twins followed him, Elrohir laying a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. He could feel Legolas stiffen underneath the touch, before the archer shrugged and his hand slid off.

"Legolas, what is the matter?" Elladan reached out and grabbed hold of Legolas' arm, pulling him to a stop.

"I am fine" muttered Legolas through gritted teeth. "Leave me alone."

"You are not fine" retorted Elladan. "Look at you. Anyone can see that you aren't." As he talked he waved a hand towards the target, where the arrow had gone astray. Legolas' jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed slightly.

"Leave me alone" he murmured. "Just go away."

"For the Valar's sake, Legolas, will you talk to us?" This time it was Elrohir who spoke up. "Something is wrong, and we want to know."

"Just go away! Leave me alone!" In his despair, Legolas did not even notice that his voice had risen, and he was now shouting in the face of his friends. Both Elladan and Elrohir took a step back, their faces concerned, yet angry with Legolas for his stupid pride.

"Go away!" Legolas shouted again, and his seeming disregard for his friends caused first Elladan, and then Elrohir, to lose his temper.

"Ai Valar!" cried Elladan. "Can't you see past your stubbornness to see that we are trying to help? Legolas, stop being such a child and talk to us!"

At these words Legolas simply turned away, shaking slightly. Elrohir sighed and stepped forwards, putting one hand on Legolas' shoulder. "Legolas?" he asked hesitantly.

The blond elf whirled around, his eyes narrowed to slits of silver. "Leave me alone! I am fine! I do not need you two hovering over me, like I cannot take care of myself. You can't do anything, for once. I don't want your help."

"You need our help!" shouted Elrohir. "Look at you Legolas! Those shadows under your eyes, the obvious wounds that you are hiding. We know something is wrong, something is very wrong, and you have to talk to someone! You cannot hide it away like you normally do. You need to get over your ridiculous sense of Sindar pride, Legolas, because it is infuriating."

Legolas ground his teeth. "How many times to I have to say it to get it into your thick Noldor heads?" he asked bitterly. "I don't need help. I don't want help. Ai Valar, will you just leave me alone?"

"Fine then" said Elladan. "We'll leave." He turned and strode off across the fields. Elrohir lingered.

"Legolas?" he asked hesitantly, who had turned back to his bow.

Legolas did not even look round. "Leave, Elrohir" he murmured. "Just leave."

Elrohir sighed and rolled his eyes. He turned and followed his brother, leaving Legolas alone on the field.

Legolas felt like screaming. Instead he calmly checked the fletching on his arrows, his nimble fingers swiftly correcting errors that would affect its flight. They wouldn't get it, he told himself again and again. That is why I shouted at them. They wouldn't understand if I told them what was wrong, and then I would just be as alone as before.

And you don't want to burden them, thought another voice in his head. You don't want to add to their worries. Legolas knew well the trials the twins had been through with their mother, and he didn't want to make them worry. He had to appear strong for them. He had to keep the mask up.

Letting it drop, letting them see everything that was screaming in his head, that would be a mistake. It would solve nothing, only multiply the worries that Elladan and Elrohir already had. And Legolas didn't want to do that. Better to keep quiet, to let them calm down, and to keep up the pretences. That was why he had shouted at them, to stop them finding out. That was the reason.

Then why, Legolas thought, as he corrected the fletching on another arrow, why did he feel so guilty?

0-o-0-o-0

A while later, Legolas was sitting on the grass, staring at nothing. His knives were in his laps, but he could not bring himself to use them. Not without so many…images…returning. A lithe shape suddenly dropped down next to him.

Glorfindel waved his hand as Legolas made to stand and greet him. "Please" he said. "Do not use up any energy for me." He studied Legolas as the elf sat back down. "How have you been faring?"

Legolas simply shrugged, so Glorfindel took it upon himself to answer. "Let me guess" he said. "You cannot sleep at night. You lie awake, and every time you drift into the paths of dreams, they turn to nightmares. You cannot get rid of the images in your head. You do not want to eat. You do not want to rest. You cannot bring yourself to use your weapons, at least not your knives, in fear of what you will see. You are numb inside, aren't you?"

Legolas dropped his knives as the older elf's words spun in his head. He looked up in surprise. "How…?"

Glorfindel picked up the knives, running his hands across them. "I have been on Arda for a long time. I know what despair looks like. I know what it looks like when an elf begins to lose themselves in their darkness."

Glorfindel smiled slightly at Legolas' confused face. "I know what happened" he said slowly. "I know about the loss of your patrol, your injuries. I know you blame yourself, penneth. But you did everything that you could. Nothing that happened was your fault."

Legolas looked up at Glorfindel, but his eyes were still distant. He tried to smile, but the same…feelings still sat deep inside of him. It wasn't the point, he thought, that it was not his fault. He knew that. But he had fought as hard as he could, and still they had died.

Glorfindel sighed. "I understand you do not want to talk, and maybe I am not the best person to talk to" he said. "I have seen too much. But you have to speak up, Legolas, or it will consume you."

Legolas was silent, and Glorfindel sighed. "Speak to someone" he said. "I know the types of things that plague you, penneth. I have seen it all before, and you are not weak for questioning what it is you are doing. Ai Valar, I have done the same countless times. But the important thing is that I am still here. You are not going anywhere. I don't think Elladan and Elrohir will let you."

At those names Legolas grimaced. "They…"

"Are trying to help" said Glorfindel, "but they have short tempers sometimes, especially when they are reminded of painful events that have passed. Elladan and Elrohir still cannot forget their mother's torment in the dens of the orcs. Now they worry that they will be powerless to help you, and it angers them."

Legolas nodded again. He got to his feet, wincing slightly as the movement pulled at his scars. "I…am going into the woods" he said. "Maybe I will find some rest there."

Glorfindel nodded. "I hope you do" he said. He stood up. "I shall leave, for I have things I must see to. But someone needs to hear you speak. You are in Imladris. There is nowhere safer or better for you to heal. Remember that."

Legolas nodded. "Can you…tell Elladan and Elrohir I'm sorry?"

"They already know" said Glorfindel softly. "But I shall tell them nonetheless." He turned and left. Legolas watched him go.

He didn't know what to think. Was it that easy to see he was floundering? Elladan and Elrohir had just been trying to help, and he, like his father, like anyone else who had tried to help him, he had turned them away. He had angered them, even though he had not meant to. But did what he meant matter? Did his intentions matter, when the outcome was the same? Even if he tried his hardest, he failed. He failed everyone.

Legolas sighed, and walked slowly across the field towards the woods. Glorfindel was right, he supposed. He was not in Mirkwood, he was in Imladris. There was nowhere safer. Nowhere better for him to be.

Then why did he still feel so shattered?

0-o-0-o-0

The letter fell out of Elladan's hand as he stared at his father in shock. "Is this true?" he asked, hardly whispering.

Elrohir moved next to his brother, taking comfort in his presence as he gazed at the parchment with hollow eyes. Elrond nodded sadly. "I fear what Thranduil fears" he said. "I thought to show you this would help you understand what is happening to Legolas."

Elladan did not move, transfixed with horror at his harsh words earlier. Elrond stood up, and moved closer to his sons. "Ion-nin?" he asked softly.

Elladan opened his mouth, but could not speak. His stormy eyes stared into space. Elrohir stepped forwards to answer Elrond's unspoken question.

"We…we came across Legolas at the archery grounds" Elrohir told his father. "There were…heated words."

Elladan shook his head. "We left him. We left him, when we should have stayed and helped. What have we done?"

Elrond pulled his sons into a tight embrace. "You did not know" he murmured soothingly. "And Legolas will not hold it against you." He pulled back, and looked Elladan in the eye. "You are his friend."

The twins nodded together, and headed for the door. As they left they met Glorfindel, who smiled sympathetically. "He is in the woods" he said. "He says he is sorry."

Elladan's face paled. "It is I who should be sorry, not him!" he cried.

Glorfindel put his arm out to restrain the younger elf. "Sidh" he said. "There will be plenty of time to make amends. Do not go now. He is resting in the woods, I believe, and I would like to give him as much time as possible to try and find peace."

Elrond nodded in agreement. "Find him in the evening, when it starts to get dark" he said. "He will need you."

To Be Continued..

This was meant to be a cliffie, but so I can end the next chapter on a very emotional point, I have cut this chapter slightly shorter. Providing internet remains sane, I shall publish the next chapter tomorrow.

Just thinking, if the internet developed consciousness it could quite literally enslave the world, holding all of us at its whims, making us do anything for wifi.

That is what my brain thinks of in its spare time...