In Imladris- Chapter 5

Next chapter is here! Thank you to all of those who have reviewed so far :)

Things may be getting easier, but it is not all over.

Disclaimer: see Chapter 1

Elladan and Elrohir walked silently down the corridor in Imladris. Last night Legolas had finally calmed down enough for them to help him back to Imladris. As they had walked, Legolas had managed to explain more, though he had taken a long time. He told them exactly what had happened to him- the attack and all the moments after, the numbness and despair and the nightmares.

All Elladan and Elrohir had done had been to listen and walk beside their friend, nothing more. There was nothing more they could have done at that moment, no wise advice that could remedy the entire situation. So they just listened and let their friend talk. Upon reaching Legolas' room, the blond elf had fallen asleep immediately, and there had been no nightmares.

However, tonight would be a different story. As the twins neared Legolas' door, they heard muffled whimpers, and the sound of a thrashing body. Without hesitation, they burst into his room.

Legolas thrashed on his bed, the bedcovers twisted around him. His eyes were wide and unfocused and sweat clung to his body. The twins noticed that he still wore his hunting tunic and leggings, as if he was expecting an attack at any moment. His knives lay by the bed.

The twins jumped when Legolas cried out, twisting in a desperate bid to escape the horrific images. "No!" he cried out. "Pull back. Retreat. Run! No…..No. NO!"

Elladan rushed forwards and grabbed hold of the bedcovers, pulling them off their friend. Elrohir reached out and pinned Legolas down. "Legolas!" he called out. "Lasto beth-nin, mellon-nin."

Elladan joined him, and grabbed hold of his shoulders. "Legolas" he whispered soothingly. "Sidh." Slowly Legolas' eyes focused, and he blinked, confused.

"Elladan" he murmured. He suddenly sat up and jumped out of bed. Though he managed to stop his hand going to the knife on the balcony, Legolas was tense, alert. His light tunic was soaked with sweat and clung to his torso. He still wore leggings, as if expecting to get up any minute.

Elladan and Elrohir watched him carefully. "It's alright, mellon-nin" murmured Elrohir. "It' alright."

"It's not alright!" shouted Legolas. "How can you say that?" He ran a hand through his hair and stood indecisive for a moment. In a sudden movement he barged past Elladan and Elrohir and started to walk swiftly down the corridor.

"Legolas!" cried out Elladan as the twins turned and followed him, catching up as Legolas strode down the hall. "Legolas, calm down."

Legolas shook his head. "No, no, I need… I need to get outside. I can't do this. I can't."

Elrohir sighed. "You can, Legolas."

"Those words mean little, Elrohir" replied Legolas. "Telling me I can do this does little, when I know I can't!" His voice rose again, and he quickened his pace. "I can't…"

They reached the doors leading onto the courtyard and Legolas threw them open, running down the steps. Elladan and Elrohir followed him and Elladan reached forwards, catching Legolas' arm and bringing him to a stop.

"You need to calm down, Legolas!" Elladan said firmly. "You need to talk to us."

"What good is talking?" cried Legolas. "What good can talking do?"

Elrohir sighed. "Legolas, saes. It's the only way we think we can help. We feel powerless, watching you, and we hate it."

Legolas paused, and something seemed to drain from his face. "Alright" he murmured. "We can talk. But about what?"

"Were you having a nightmare?" asked Elladan quietly.

Legolas was silent for some time, before finally looking up and biting his lip. "Aye."

"What about?"

"I don't…" Legolas paused. "I don't want to say. If I do, I fear I will see it again."

Elladan sighed. "See what?"

"Everything" said Legolas softly. "All those who died on that patrol. I can see the orcs coming again, see those under my command die again and again." He sighed and his shoulder slumped.

"I have seen it nearly every time I try and sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I can see the blood, the carnage that I saw in that clearing. It haunts me, and I can't be rid of it."

Elrohir frowned, and then turned to whisper something in Elladan's ear, who nodded. Elrohir left the group and turned to run up the stairs. Legolas watched him go.

"Where is he going?" he asked.

"To get something" said Elladan. He sat down on the courtyard stone, pulling Legolas down with him. "You need to talk, Legolas. You need to tell us what is going on in your mind."

"Why?" asked Legolas shortly. "Why do you need to know?"

"Ai Valar!" cried Elladan. "Because I cannot let someone else that I love succumb to the shadow. Because the last time that happened, Elrohir and I only just survived. I cannot watch you fall, Legolas. I cannot let you fall. I can't let someone else down, not again. I can't."

Legolas blinked. "Alright" he said slowly. "You want to know what I think?"

Elladan nodded.

"I am thinking" said Legolas. "That it is all futile. That everything I have done is pointless. I know it is not my fault, what happened, but that does not make anything better. It makes everything worse."

"I fought as hard as I could, and still the shadow won. Still the orcs killed my patrol, all those under my command. They trusted me, they hoped that I could do something against the shadow swallowing our realm. And I let them down."

Elladan listened as Legolas continued, his voice soft in the still night. "I cannot do anything, anymore. I have been fighting for so long, Elladan, and every time I pick up my bow and blades, every time I kill another orc, I wonder what the point is."

"No matter what I do they die. No matter what I do our realm recedes in the face of the darkness. There is not way to stop it, so why should I keep fighting anymore?"

Elladan nodded. "I understand, I think…" he said slowly.

"Do you?" asked Legolas. "Do you really? You live in Imladris. You are protected, your home is safe. Lord Elrond has the power to hold out against the threats of Mordor for a long time. In Mirkwood, all we have are the lives of our people, our warriors."

"Legolas, I am not a child!" said Elladan. "I have spent more time recently out of Imladris than in it. The only way I can sometimes stem the rage and despair I can feel is so hunt orcs until I can barely lift a blade anymore. You think we are protected? Try telling that to my mother!"

There was silence. Eventually it was broken by Legolas. "I'm sorry" he murmured. "I didn't think."

Elladan shook his head. "I can't tell you to stop asking these questions" he said. "Nor can I give you answers. But I can tell you there is hope. You can see it here, you can see it in the places on Arda that are not yet tainted by the shadow. Your warriors will keep fighting, and for every one that falls, another one will step up to honour their memory."

Legolas hung his head and Elladan sighed. "Legolas, there are no words that I can say that will magically turn this around. There is nothing I can do, in all honesty, to suddenly make you see hope. I know how bleak everything looks. Elrohir and I have seen that landscape before. In some ways, we are still in it. It's a rough climb out of this pit, Legolas, and in a sense we will never leave, not until the end of all things."

"Then how can I keep fighting?" whispered Legolas. "I just…" He sighed heavily. "I just don't know."

"Neither do I" said Elladan. "Neither does my brother. Adar and Glorfindel could probably give you some long winded talk, but they don't really know either. All I know is that you are still a warrior, no matter what happens. You can still fight. And I know that my brother and I can't wave our hands and make everything better. Even Galadriel cannot do that. But what we can do is be here if you need a shoulder to lean on, or someone to talk to. We can be your friends, and that is the most important thing right now."

Legolas smiled, and looked up. "Hannon le" he said softly. "Hannon le, mellon-nin."

Elladan grinned, and at that moment the door at the top of the courtyard opened and Elrohir came down the steps, looking smug. In his hands were three bottles of wine.

He came to where Legolas and Elladan were and sat down, handing over two of the bottles. "Enjoy" he said with a smile. "I think you need this, Legolas."

Legolas uncorked his bottle and sniffed appreciatively. "Vintage Dorwinion" he murmured. "Impressive, Elrohir. How in the name of Varda did you get hold of this?"

Elrohir grinned. "Snuck it out from Adar's private store in his study. I took his keys. He was fast asleep; he didn't notice a thing."

Elladan took a gulp of wine and laughed. "Well you missed an enlightening conversation, brother" he said. "But I think the time has passed, has it not Legolas?"

Legolas took a long sip from his bottle of wine. He raised one eyebrow. "This is good wine" he said. "Very good. And yes, Elladan, enlightening conversations do not last that long when there is wine involved. I found that one out early on."

Elrohir chuckled. "Care to explain, mellon-nin?"

"I live in my father's halls" said Legolas. "We have a lot of feasts. With a lot of wine. You'd be surprised at some of the conversations that can happen when you get most of the realm in a room together and supply them with Dorwinion."

Elladan chuckled. "You have obviously not seen Erestor and Glorfindel have a drinking contest."

"Once Adar joined in" said Elrohir. "That was the funniest thing I have seen in an age. Erestor drunk is hilarious. He tried to challenge Glorfindel to a duel."

Legolas laughed. "Please tell me Glorfindel didn't accept!"

"He did" said Elladan. "But quite luckily, neither of them could remember the pact the following day, so to this day there has been no duel."

"It was a pity" said Elrohir, sipping at his wine. "Watching Erestor fight normally is quite funny. To watch him fight drunk…"

"To watch Glorfindel fight drunk must be hilarious" said Legolas. "Though he'd probably still best us in a fight."

"There will come a day when we beat him" said Elrohir. "And it will be magnificent."

Legolas snorted, a very un-elflike noise, and Elladan laughed. "And that day will come when dwarves come to Imladris, brother dear!"

0-o-0-o-0

A shadow appeared at a balcony overlooking the courtyard. Elrond smiled as he watched his sons and their friend relax. Another shadow approached, and Elrond moved aside as Glorfindel joined him.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked wryly.

Glorfindel chuckled. "You forget, mellon-nin that my room is near to Legolas'. I awoke when I heard him thrashing, but I thought it would be better to let your sons help." Glorfindel smiled slightly. "Then I couldn't help but overhear them. I think he is on the mend."

Elrond sighed deeply as he watched Legolas point up at a certain star. "I hope so" he said. "Hopefully the scars will start to heal."

Glorfindel nodded. A sudden thought struck him, and he turned to his friend. "Elrond" he said curiously. "How in the name of Illuvatar did Elrohir get your keys? You do know that they have your vintage Dorwinion, don't you?"

Elrond chuckled again. "They will not be celebrating as much in the morning" he said wryly. "As for Elrohir, I faked being asleep. I thought that they all needed this." He turned to Glorfindel. "You should try it sometimes."

Glorfindel snorted. "I have" he said. "And I have also tried the mornings after. It really isn't worth it."

Elrond raised one eyebrow, and shrugged. "Well," he said. "I would have offered you some of the Dorwinion I managed to rescue from my sons, but you obviously don't want it." He picked up two full wine goblets from behind him.

Glorfindel sighed. "Give me that" he said, ignoring Elrond's raised eyebrow and barely suppressed laugh. He took a long sip, and then turned to lean on the balcony as a particularly loud peal of laughter came from the courtyard. "Ah, to be young" he said dryly.

Elrond laughed. "Aye, mellon-nin" he said. "They will certainly have much less of a headache than us tomorrow."

Now it was Glorfindel's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Elrond!" he said in shock as the peredhel pulled out another bottle. "We both have a lot to do tomorrow. I really don't know what goes on in that head sometimes."

Elrond laughed as he poured more wine. "Neither do I" he said, watching the young elves below them. "Neither do I."

To Be Continued

Just as a side point, I am not advocating getting very drunk to forget bad things that have happened. That isn't a solution. But sometimes you just need some friends.

Besides, the mornings after are not very enjoyable :)