"MXC: Monster High vs. Ever After High"
Rated T for Mild Language
Disclaimer: I do not own either Monster High or Ever After High, nor do I own MXC a.k.a. Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. Both Monster High and Ever After High are owned by Mattel, and MXC is owned by Spike. If you don't know what MXC is, I'll give you a short run-down. 'MXC' is short for Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, which lasted a good run on Spike TV from 2003 to 2007. Most of the footage was taken from a Japanese game show called "Takeshi's Castle" which ran from 1986 to 1990. I suggest checking out some episodes on YouTube. It's that awesome.
Disclaimer: The words in black and italic are coming from the announcer of the show. Just so we're on the dot.
Chapter 4: Wall Buggers
Welcome back to MXC for the classic battle between the Monster Mashers and the Happily Ever Afters! Wait a minute, I already said that...
After the theme song came to an end, Kenny and Vic (along the rest of the MXC interns) were located in some sort of laboratory.
"Once again, welcome back!" Vic exclaimed, "Me and Ken are out at the local MXC laboratory, where we will be building our very own Monster."
Suddenly, Ken brought himself a box of objects he needed to create his sick little project.
"Oh Ken," Vic said, looking into the box, "Are these the things you want for your own monster?"
"Yeah," Kenny snickered, "You're gonna like this, Vic. Here's a look at my design."
By then, Kenny dug into his pocket and gave his description to Vic. Quite frankly, it was a drawing of Godzilla.
"Oh, this is interesting," Vic muttered, "Who is this?"
"He's called Gon-zilla," Kenny clearly responded, "He's been inhabited on the planet Herpiter. One look at him and he'll infect the world with hell-fire and chlamydia. Not to mention the damage he causes can give you one burning sensation after another."
"Oh, that's really quite interesting, Ken." Vic nodded in agreement, "Oh, I didn't know he had a sword."
"That's not his sword, Vic." Kenny smirked, "He's just got a hard-on."
"Oh, well, my mistake." Vic said, "All mistakes aside, time for some Wall Buggers!"
The scene then transitioned to footage of the third event, which was Wall Buggers.
"The rules are simple," Vic said, explaining the rules, "Each contestant must swing a rope and stick to the wall, or they'll be soaked in our mystery fluid! It's very simple: 'One wall, one insect, then bugger it!' Captain, if you will?"
Getting Vic's signal, the scene switched over to a good shot of Captain Tenneal, who blew his whistle and swung his sword.
"Get it on!" Captain exclaimed.
"Thanks, Captain," Vic commented, "First up for the Monster High team..."
A Monster High contestant ascended upstairs and stood beside the Captain, who handed her the rope.
"Howleen, hands off my ass!" Clawdeen shouted out.
"It's the daughter of the werewolf, Clawdeen Wolf!" Vic exclaimed.
"Look Vic," Kenny smirked, "She's not wearing a bra..."
"KENNY!" Vic said, smacking Kenny in the head.
Clawdeen hung onto the rope, but as soon as she swung...
...
...she automatically plunged deep down into the mystery fluid!
"Oh, and just like that, she falls right onto our mystery fluid," Vic said, "Let's take a look at that on replay."
While a replay of Clawdeen's run was shown, Vic spoke to his partner.
"By the way, what is our mystery fluid?"
"That's sponge squeezings combined with extra crusty toe grease found at the bottom of Guy LeDouche's shoes," Kenny snickered, "Good thing she's got fleas, because that's gonna be one stinky spongebath she's gonna take."
"Right you are, Ken." Vic nodded.
After Clawdeen painfully got off the course, another Ever After High contestant made his appearance.
"I don't do well with pressure!" Dexter yelled out.
"And next up for Ever After High, Dexter Charming!" Vic exclaimed, "He's the other son of King Charming and younger brother of Daring!"
With a deep breath, Dexter grabbed on the rope, but managed to take off his glasses in the process.
"There we go," Vic muttered, "Taking off his glasses."
Finally, Dexter hung on the rope and swung to the wall. He then let go of the rope and stuck himself to the wall successfully!
"Right there, Dexter sticks it!" Vic cried out.
"For a nerd, he sure packs a wedgie when he needs it!" Kenny nodded.
"Chalk one up for the Ever After High-ers!" Vic nodded as well.
After Dexter celebrated his victory run, another Monster High student appeared right before the captain.
"Next up, Clad Wolf!" Vic exclaimed.
"It's Clawd!" Clawd shouted, correcting Vic.
"Oh, Clawd Wolf, sorry about that." Vic cleared his throat, "Clawd is the son of a werewolf, just like his sisters Clawdeen, Clawdia and Howleen!"
As Clawd took off with the rope, he hit his back on the platform, forcing him to let go of the rope and splash right into the mystery fluid.
"Ha!" Kenny laughed, "Now's he's being put to sleep!"
"I'm afraid you're right, Ken," Vic nodded, "And that's why it's our MXC Impact Replay!"
While Clawd was busy trying to wipe the fluid off his eyes, the MXC Impact Replay played over his run, most notably the part where his back was scraped.
"He tried to swing the best he can, but unfortunately, his tall stature pours him into the drink!" Vic exclaimed.
"Now he's gonna have to enjoy his sister on that stinky sponge bath." Kenny nodded.
"Right you are," Vic replied, "But luckily, his fur can absorb even the strongest of smells. So no sponge bath is needed for him."
After Clawd's replay was over, another Ever After High student appeared.
"I eat wood!" Kitty shouted out.
"Like I care..." Captain muttered to himself, giving Kitty the rope.
"And from Ever After High," Vic paused for a bit, "It's the daughter of the Cheshire Cat, Kitty Cheshire!"
"She's got a strange smile, Vic..." Kenny said, feeling creeped out.
"It runs in her family, Ken..." Vic muttered.
Trying to navigate the situation nicely, Kitty managed to take off on the rope and tried to stick the landing...
...
...but her shoulder and face hit the wall first, knocking her down to the fluid!
"Just like that, she's into the fluid!" Vic exclaimed.
"Too bad she ain't smiling anymore..." Kenny smirked.
"Right you are, Ken!"
As Kitty emerged into the water, she started cussed in anger.
"RAAAAAGH, THIS IS BULLS**T!" Kitty screamed.
"Sorry you had to hear that..." Vic replied.
After she was out of here, there came another Monster High student. Apparently, he looked like crap because the way his jaw was dropping in an undead state.
"UAAAAAAAGH!" Slo Moe shouted.
"And from Monster High," Vic added, "It's Sloman Mortavich, a.k.a. 'Slo-Moe'!"
"What's with his face?" Kenny said, raising an eyebrow, "Looks like he's getting blown."
"Zombies like him are used to making faces that look like sex, Ken." Vic pointed out.
As Slo Moe grabbed the rope, he fell forward and let go of the rope, falling right into the toe grease fluid.
"Right there, he goes down." Vic replied.
"For a retarded ghost, he could've got a good grip." Kenny pointed out.
"Kenny, that's offensive." Vic said, raising his voice in anger.
"I'm sorry," Kenny muttered, "I meant to say 'Little People'."
"Good enough." Vic nodded.
After Slo-Moe's not-surprising run was over, the last Ever After High student of this event appeared.
"I'm Hunter's bitch!" Ashlynn exclaimed.
"Then I feel sorry for you..." The Captain muttered behind her back.
"And last up for Ever After High, it's Ashlynn Ella, daughter of Cinderella." Vic introduced, "Earlier on, she had a talk with Captain Tenneal about her chances in Wall Buggers."
"She's f***in' hot." Kenny smirked.
"Indeed." Vic nodded.
*Ashlynn Ella's interview*
"I plan to win the prize money so I can get a bigger boob job, a butt transplant, and lip injections." Ashlynn replied, "Plus, I'm using the rest of the money to blow it all on lubricant, sex toys, shoes and weed."
"How completely odd of you to say that," Captain nodded, "This interview is over."
As her interview came to a close, the scene transitioned to Ashlynn grabbing on the rope.
"Besides being the daughter of Cinderella, Ashlynn is also a shoe salesman for the Glass Slipper." Vic included.
"She's sure got a big butt." Kenny nodded.
"Definitely looks like it, Ken." Vic nodded as well.
Ashlynn finally took off the rope, spun around for a bit, and tried to stick the landing...
...
...but her face met the horrible end of that wall, knocking her down straight into the fluid.
"Looks like it wasn't enough for Ashlynn to begin with!" Vic cried out, "Let's take another look on the replay!"
As Ashlynn's replay was shown, Vic gave out the description of her run.
"Right there, she tried to pull off a 360 K-Swiss and land it nicely with a Flat Adiaas," Vic replied, "But she ends up knocked and soaked in our spongy shoe fluid!"
"Somebody wipe her up, because she's looking like wet dog crap on the part of my shoe." Kenny replied.
"I'll make sure she gets your message clear, Ken," Vic rolled his eyes, "Well, Ashlynn Ella might not score for her team, but thanks to her teammate Dexter Charming, the Ever After High people tie up with Monster High 2-2!"
After the score was displayed, the scene then transitioned to a shot of Guy LeDouche, standing beside the MXC catering area.
"Hi, Guy LeDouche here at the MXC catering area, where some of our contestants from respective high schools are enjoying the food," Guy replied, "Jerry, if you can scroll down here..."
The cameraman then got a shot of the delicious food that was sitting on the table.
"Mmmm, doesn't that look delicious?" Guy said, feeling his stomach rumble with hunger, "Makes Guy's innards water up on impact."
However, Guy stopped and took a look at a delicious steaming piece of pie.
"Ooooh, and this is delicious." Guy replied, "It's one of Monster High's delicious Rascary Pumpkin Cream Pot Pie! I know I should feel bad trying to steal an entire pie, but this is so delicious!"
However, Guy's slobber was dripping right on the pie, in which he didn't know yet.
While he was still hypnotized, someone's voice popped up behind himm.
"What on earth are you doing to my pie?"
Looking alarmed, Guy looked beside him to see Cleo DeNile standing before him, looking upset.
"Oh, uh..." Guy stuttered, "This isn't what it looks like! I wasn't trying to steal this pie and rub myself all over it, I swear!"
"Really?" Cleo raised an eyebrow, "Then why are you slobbering all over it?"
However, Guy finally realized his mistake.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Guy apologize, "Guy didn't mean to get his organisms around your pie. My mistake! You want it back?"
Trying to be a gentlewoman about this whole thing, Cleo took back her now spit-covered pie...
...
...
...and smashed it on Guy's face!
"Here, you can keep it!" Cleo shouted, "You spat in it anyway!"
After Cleo walked out in a huff, Guy was left to lick the remains of her pie. (Not a sex pun, everyone.)
"Ooooh, it tastes even better with slobber!" Guy exclaimed, "Why didn't I know this before? Guy like! HAHAHAHAHA!"
Don't fret, cause when MXC returns, we scare your pants off with Log Drop! So be careful not to wet yourself, pansyass.
Once again, tell it like it is, MXC announcer!
I apologize if I lacked the ending of this chapter. It's so hard trying to keep Guy in-character. For those who watched the show on YouTube, I hope I did really good! Anyway, the last event and Kenny Blankenship top ten Painful Eliminations of the Day begin next chapter, so don't forget feedback when you can! UltimateWarriorFan4Ever like! HAHAHAHAHAHA!