Post Series. Auggie had left to travel the word with Natasha, and Annie had dove head first into work. This is how they got back to where they belong. Pure Walkerson. A huge thank you to Cony, for editing it for me. :)
She stretched a little, working her sore muscles, and quickly turned around, with a cold look in her brown eyes, her back to the wall, her pistol in her hands, aimed at his heart.
"Hello, Walker." Auggie said, amused. "Is the gun really necessary?"
"Jesus, Auggie… Do you have a death wish?" Annie said, a little more forcefully than she intended. Her heart was beating furiously in her chest. She engaged the safety mechanism again, opened her safe, and placed the pistol inside it. "What were you thinking, breaking into my apartment?"
"Well, it was the only place I could think of that you would not be able to avoid me, although it did take me a while to find your safe house." He said, not so amused this time. "By the way, you need to change your security system. It took me less 3 minutes to disable it and get inside."
"You're a hacker, Anderson. You'd be lousy at your job if you didn't." She said, referring to both finding her safe house and disabling the alarm. She went into the kitchen and came back with two bottles of beer. She placed one on the table, right in front of Auggie, and took a sip of the one in her hand. "Beer at 12 o'clock". She said. She was desperately trying to buy some time.
"Thanks. Should I be worried about you? I mean, after all we drank last night…" Auggie tried to break the ice. He knew exactly how she would react, just like he knew she would go for her gun when she noticed someone inside her apartment. This was one of the advantages of having been her handler for quite some time: he knew her, he could predict her moves, foresee most of her plays. Well, most of. It was still a sore spot for him that she managed to evade him for 4 months when she went to Eyal. That was one move he had not expected, not after what they went through in Hong Kong. Well, let's just add it to the least of things to talk about, right after Helen, and way before Ryan.
"Well, if you want to talk about last night, I'll need something stronger then beer…"Annie said. But before she could get up, Auggie was at her side, his hands steadying her, and keeping her close to him. He could feel how tense she was, and even though he knew he should change tactics, to put her at ease, he was too hurt by her running away from him this morning.
"It was supposed to be a joke, Walker." He said, his voice dangerously low. "Is it so hard to talk to me know? We used to be good at talking."
"We used to be good at a lot of things Auggie, but that was a long time ago." She said, trying to turn away from him. Stop, just stop, Walker. Breath. You're just nervous. You want to talk things over, remember? You want to be with him.
But the instinct to protect herself, to attack when she felt cornered, was too ingrained. She needed to calm down, but finding Auggie in her apartment had thrown her off. She needed to get her bearings again, to pull herself together. Otherwise, they would continue to walk in circles.
Auggie sighed. When he decided to come by Annie's apartment, he was not thinking about breaking and entering. But he got tired of waiting for her, and well, she couldn't avoid him if he were already inside her apartment, right? He didn't take into account that he would piss her off by doing that. He wanted to talk to her, there was so much he needed to say. Well, it looks like he's in for a long night again.
"Come on, Annie." He tried again. "We seemed to be doing a pretty good job with a lot of things yesterday. We were good, things were good. It felt like old times, drinking together, sitting on the floor, laughing, just hanging out. It felt normal. I mean, at least until I woke up and you were gone."
"I… Ah… I'm…" She stuttered. Why was she getting so defensive? Scratch that, if she was getting defensive she would be lashing out. Why the hell couldn't she just say what she needed to say? She was a linguist, for God's sake, how the hell could she be out of words?
"The word you're looking for is "I'm sorry, Auggie", or at least, it should be." He quipped. He was trying to keep his temper in check, but Annie was not helping.
"You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted like a teenager and just left. I should have stayed and talked about it. Like an adult. But I woke up, and I didn't know what to do, I panicked. We had already went that road once, and we really shouldn't have let things go too far…"she finally said it.
"I know. God, I know, Annie. We shouldn't have rushed it. There's so much between us, so much hurt, so much we need to talk about…. But that doesn't change how I feel about you, or what I want." He said. "Last night did happen, and we can't run away from it, pretend it never happened. We have to be able to talk to each other, honestly, if we want this to work."
"But what if I don't know what I want right now?" She whispered, and Auggie immediately let go of her. Fuck. This was not going to end well, was it? Would they ever be able to just let go of the phantoms of the past and be together? He didn't doubt that she had feelings for him. He may be blind, and it may have taken a while, before, to notice how she felt about him, but he was not stupid. Last night would not have happened if she didn't have feelings for him. But if she did, and if she wanted to be with him, it had to be her decision too. She needed to be able to say it, she needed to stop running from her feelings. Otherwise, this would never work. He couldn't do it all alone. He needed her to meet him halfway.
"Well, then I don't know what I'm doing here." He said, angrily, and headed for the door. This was going nowhere.
"Auggie, please…" Annie started, surprised by his outburst. She tried to stop him, before he could get to the door, but he just jerked his arm out of her hands.
"No, you don't get to do that again, to say that again. Damn it, Annie. I love you. I want to be with you. I wanted to take things slow, to talk about it, but as usual, things got a little out of hand yesterday, like most things between us usually do. But that does not mean I don't want to be with you." He exploded. "You asked me last night to make up my mind, and I did. Maybe it's time you do the same."
"I…" She tried, willing herself to say something. Anything. Damn it Walker. Just pick a damn word and say it, she thought, but nothing came out of mouth "I…"
"You what, Annie?" He asked. "Make up your damn mind!" He demanded, angrily. When she didn't answer immediately, he just gave up. They were back where they started, after she decided to go dark. He would not, could not go through that again. He hoped things were going to be different now. Sure, last night was not his idea of how to get back together with Annie. But it was a start. All misunderstandings aside, last night had been amazing: he knew he wanted to be with her, and knew she wanted to be with him. Of course, that night could have gone a lot smoother if he just hadn't hesitated. But he did, twice. Right before he kissed her, and then when he stopped her, because he wanted her to be sure that was what she wanted to do. And now, well, it seemed that now she was doing the same thing, Hesitating. And he was not buying it.
She asked him to make up his mind yesterday, and he did. He put aside his fears, his reservations, he saw past the hurt and the mistakes. He thought she had already made up her mind too, when she asked him. Well, apparently not. He was so mad at her that he needed to get out. Maybe they really needed some space, some time, before they could talk about it, talk about them. But he was too angry right now to do more than just storm out. Angry at her, angry at himself, angry at the world. He'd send her some flowers tomorrow, with an apology, but right now, he needed to get out before he did something stupid. Like throwing caution to the wind and just let his body take over, and ravish her against the door again.
He opened the door and let himself out. "Goodbye, Walker."
Annie was stunned, unable to move. How, she thought, how the hell did this just blew up in my face? What the hell is the problem with me? She knew she loved him. She never stopped. She wanted to be with him. Last night, last night was all sorts of amazing. He managed to get to her, to break her walls, almost effortlessly. Of course she wanted to be with him, that was not the problem. She was just afraid of losing him again. She could not bear losing him again. So when he said that he loved her, that he wanted to be with her, she was paralyzed with fear. Like a rookie.
But then, something shifted inside of her, and she was running after him. She opened the door, and saw him opening the door to a taxi, at the corner of her street. She ran to him, trying to get to him before he entered the taxi. She all but pulled him out of the car, closing the door. Without thinking twice, she pushed him into the closed door, and crashed her lips to his.
Auggie recognized those steps, and that scent, before she slammed him into the car's closed door, so when she pushed into him, and kissed him, he kissed her back with equal measure. But before the kiss could get out of hand, they were both reminded of their whereabouts, when the taxi driver turned the car on. Auggie came up for air, suddenly remembering his manners, thanked the taxi driver, and pulled Annie into his arms. He knew he pushed her far enough. He was not expecting anything else right now, other than her finally going after him, and that sweet kiss. Which is why he almost sank to his knees when he heard her whisper:
"I love you" She finally said.
"I love you too"