Disclaimer: Finnick: "Sorry, but nobody owns me anymore. Or any of us, for that matter."
A year after Johanna Mason's stunning victory, Cashmere Martinez takes the crown for District 1. And I know why my tribute was killed by her knife. He should have had a shield to defend himself, a shield that I didn't send him, because I wasn't even in the hub for the final battle.
My feet drag on the floor as I stumble through my silent house, pulling my duffel bag behind me. Marlin must be with out with the children. We have three children now. A boy named Kai was born in February. He looks just like Marlin, with his wide, icy blue eyes that never seem to blink and his curly wisp of honey-blonde hair.
I collapse onto my bed and curl into a ball. Tears start streaking down my cheeks as I sob loudly. I feel so disgusted, so violated. After a while, I hear whispering outside from the hallway outside the bedroom door. I automatically reach for the knife that I still keep under my pillow.
"Go to your rooms," a voice commands. I know the voice, but I can't put a name to it. It sound kind of like that Capitol man who... I shake the thought out my head. The door creaks open and I throw the knife without looking. I can hear it quiver as it lodges itself into the wall.
"Geez, ViVi, what if that was one of the child- on god, what's wrong?" Marlin asks, sounding concerned as he walks across the room to comfort me. He reaches down to hug me, but I duck out of the way. "Don't touch me!" I shriek.
He sits down next to me on the mattress. "ViVi, what happened? Did one of the other victors die?" he asks tenderly. "He... he... he..." I burst into tears again. He tries to wrap his arm around me. "Don't touch me!" I scream.
"You need to relax. How about I go and run you a hot bath?" I finally get myself under control enough to nod and stammer my thanks. When he's done, I slide in and close the foggy glass door for privacy.
"Marlin, are you still in here?" "Yeah, Rivi's got swimmer's ear, I'm looking for the ear drops in the medicine cabinet." Time to give in to the dream from what seems like forever ago. I certainly feel crappy enough to do it now. I stick my head under the water.
Even underwater, I can still hear Marlin talking to me. "Hey, do you know how many drops of this stuff I should put in Rivi's ear?" He waits for my reply. I keep my ahead underwater, waiting to become guilt-free.
"ViVi? VIVI!" The glass door slams against the wall as he drags me out of the bathtub. I kick and scream and try to bite him. "Let me go! Put me down! You can't stop me from doing this, Marlin! I can do whatever I want!"
He wraps a towel around me, plops me down on the bed, and holds met hands and feet down so I can't try to harm him or myself. "ViVi, what has gotten into you? You were fine when you left! Are you sick or something?"
I turned my eyes downward, ashamed to look him in the eye. "Snow... he... he sold me... he sold me four times..." Marlin snatches his hands away from and curls them up into fists, beating them on the nightstand.
"I'll kill him," he growls. Then, "What did you do?" I arch my eyebrow. "What do you mean, what did I do? I got called in, just like you did on my tour." He hugs me, and I manage not to scream, but I whisper in his ear for him to let go of me. "I'm sorry. It's late, I'll go put the monsters to sleep."
Soon the entire house is quiet. Marlin goes to lay down next to me when I stop him. "You can't sleep here. I can't do this anymore." "What do you mean?" He sounds confused. "I cheated on you. I feel awful about it, and I can't live knowing I did that to you. And you're mad at me."
"You were forced to do it, so don't feel guilty about it. And I'm not mad at you!" "Yes, you are. How do you think I feel when you go to the Capitol?" He looks stricken. "Alright, I'm mad, but not at you. I'm angry at the Capitol for doing this to you."
I nod. "But please, just leave me alone," I say tiredly. He sighs and pulls the knife out of my dresser drawer, the one I use in case the one from under my pillow doesn't skewer whoever I'm aiming for. "Wouldn't want you trying to kill yourself during the night, would we? I'll sleep on the couch."
He kissed my forehead and walks out. I fall into a fitful sleep. Marlin wakes me up five times from nightmares where brightly colored Capitol citizens surround me. Every time, he holds me in his muscled arms tightly until I realize he's touching me. Then I scream at him to get away from me.
"This is why I'll fight," he whispers in my ear every time, before going back to the couch. I can hear his screams, too, and Kai cries nonstop. Around two in the morning, I hear Mags take the children to her house so they can actually they some sleep. I'm starting to believe it would've been better to die in the arena than to live with the nightmares.