I suddenly felt very conspicuous sitting there in the living room, all eyes avoiding mine.
Dean was the first to react, as usual.
"What?" he seemed almost incapable of human speech.
"That's not possible, mom died before she had any more kids, she couldn't have-"
"I have told you before. Lily was not born as a normal child. She was very small when Michael saved her from the flames within your home. He could not save your mother. It was the best that he could do. The baby was then kept somewhere safely where she didn't age. Then, she was raised by surrogate parents who could ensure that she grew to be her full potential, until she ended up here. With family once more."
"And you've known. This whole time." The idea seemed to have sunk in with Dean. He was coping, alright.
"Not at first." Cas continued, not quite realizing that this was a bad thing, instead a little bit pleased at how well he had figured it out.
"But when I saw her, I could see you. She has your eyes, Dean."
Sam's mouth opened and he gasped a bit. It seemed he had finally figured out how I was familiar to him.
Dean let out a low breath, realizing that it was true.
"Holy..."
"This reaction is much better than I anticipated. I suspected you to be much more... Upset by Michael's intrusion into your family." Cas admitted. "I also can admit to thinking that Lily might not be pleased with you for imprisoning her father in hell."
No one said anything for a minute, but all eyes were on me to see if I was actually angry about this.
I shrugged.
"I don't care. It seems to me that he was acting pretty douchey, so he probably deserved it. Either way, he hasn't spent a moment actually fathering me so, I couldn't care less now as long as I have you guys," I replied.
"In truth, I only withheld this information to spare all of you the trouble that I knew the discovery would cause. I am truly sorry for my actions." Cas bowed his head.
I was okay with him for doing it. I knew what it felt like to lie to someone for their safety, and so I was already ready to forgive and forget, but I sensed that the apology was more for Sam and Dean than it was for me.
"Sorry doesn't cut it. Lily wanted to sell her soul to find that out. Sell her soul to hell, Cas. What else do you know that we don't? Or am I gonna have to find out from someone who I can trust more? Like maybe, a demon." Dean was not letting this go.
"I deserve your anger, but you must understand. Before Michael fell into the pit, he left one final order. It has stopped the angels from erupting into a civil war, but not for long. I hoped to keep Lilyanna from being caught in the middle of it. By revealing her parents, she will now be at a greater risk from other angels as well as demons. She would be a powerful weapon, or bargaining chip if in the wrong hands. I do not need to tell you that angels are capable of reading minds, and now there are four more places where the information could be leaked from."
"What does it matter who knows who she is, if she's going to be killed by hellhounds anyway?" Dean argued, still unwilling to admit that Cas was at least partially right.
"No, that's not all Cas' fault. I should have known better than to go after Crowley. And, Dean, I was not going to sell my soul. Just kill some demons like I was made to, unlike what I'm actually allowed to do. I got bored." It had taken a lot of guts to even open my mouth, much less to stand up against Dean, but once I started, I couldn't help but complain a little. It wasn't just Cas.
It was his fault too, for keeping me out.
"Bored is not an excuse right now. You could have died out there, and even if you had gotten to Crowley, he wouldn't have come alone. You would have been kidnapped and tortured. Just because you can't sell your soul, doesn't mean that they can't put you through hell on earth." He was looking me in the eyes, trying to get me to see the severity of the crime I had committed.
I shivered. Torture hadn't even come to mind.
"I realize that now," I repented. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
I tried to look near to tears.
Dean's expression softened.
"It had better not." He hesitated for a minute, and pulled me into a comforting hug. Now, I really did feel guilty. I shouldn't have acted so rashly, and should have at least talked to Cas before going to the crossroads. And there was still the whole lying about the deal I made thing that I was doing. Oops.
Cas looked relieved and said a quick goodbye.
"Now, are you idjits done for the night? It's still four in the morning, if you hadn't noticed," Bobby accused.
"Sorry." We all mumbled, before heading upstairs.
I was really looking forward to not having any dreams tonight. Would you be surprised to learn that I wasn't that lucky?
Sorry that I disappeared for awhile. I was really sick and busy and just in general not in a good state to be posting. Sorry! But anyway, updates won't be as frequent now because I've nearly caught up with the prewritten part. So yeah, hope you all have a lovely evening. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Ta!