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"Why are we...?" Elrohir looked around at the dark towering trees overhead, the creepy spiders staring at them, and the webs strung everywhere.

"In Mirkwood?" said Lindir.

"Yes. That," Elrohir said.

"Because," Lindir said. "1, three people on the List are here; 2, my cousin is here, and; 3, I want some kool-aid."

"I want some kool-aid too," Elladan said.

"Good," Lindir said. "Someone (I suspect Aragorn and/or Legolas and/or Galion) emptied the King's wine barrels and refilled it with kool-aid. It's delicious. If you want some, get it from there. Just don't get caught. You will die."

"Right," said the twins.

"Oh!" said Lindir. "Here we are!"

"The Great Palace of Mirkwood," said Elrohir in awe, looking up at the gates before them.

"Uh...we call it Smirkwood," Lindir said.

"'We'?"

"Everyone."

"Oh. I like it."

"Good. Okay, this way." Lindir walked up to the gates and pounded on them.

Someone opened a tiny peekhole and peeked through the hole. "What?"

"It's Lindir," said Lindir.

"Er...so?"

"So? Let me in!"

"No," said the random person. They slammed the peekhole shut.

Lindir kicked the door in frustration.

"Open this door or we'll tell the King you've been sneaking kool-aid from his wine barrels!" Elrohir said.

There was a long pause.

The doors opened.

They all walked in.

"How did you know that would work?" Elladan said.

"Because everyone sneaks kool-aid from the King's wine barrels," said Elrohir.

The random person who had not-opened, then opened the door for them ran away.

"Come back here, Lethuin, you traitor!" Lindir shrieked after him.

Lethuin didn't stop. He ran around a very handy corner and vanished.

"Bad elf," Lindir grumbled.

"So who's the next person on the List?" Elrohir asked.

Lindir looked around dramatically, then whispered, "Galion."

"Galion?" said Elladan shockedly. "Galion killed his sister?"

"Something like that," Lindir said. "Come on, let's go find him."

"Where do you think he'll be?" Elladan asked.

"In the wine cellars, of course," Lindir said, rolling his eyes.

They went to the wine cellars.

"Helloooo," said Lindir, walking through the door. The twins followed him, whispering.

A person suddenly flew out from a dark corner and tackled Lindir.

Lindir screamed.

"Oops," said the person, setting Lindir upright again.

Lindir brushed himself up and scowled at the person. "What was that all about, Galion?"

"I'm guarding the wine," Galion said suspiciously. "And the barrels."

"Whatever for?" said Elrohir, who had never heard of the Great Barrel Escapade or the Guards' Over-Inhibition of the Wine.

"Because," said Galion. "The last time I left this place alone, I WAS FRAMED."

"You were framed?!" exclaimed Elladan, who had definitely heard of the Great Barrel Escapade and the Guard's Over-Inhibition of the Wine (because he liked to spy on Aragorn and Legolas' conversations), but had never heard of the Framing of Galion.

"Yes!" said Galion. "I was casually guarding in here, just being my usual self. Then my sister came in here with her Famous Yummy Cookies and gave them to me! I couldn't help myself; I had to eat them! But they were drugged! My traitorous sister had fallen in love with some stupid troll who thought he was a Cursed Prince and she drugged me so she would have time to run away with him! Then when I woke up, some Random Hobbit and Group of Dwarves had snuck out of the King's Dungeons and used the barrels to escape through the trapdoor!"

"Ohh," said the twins.

"I think the troll really was a Cursed Prince," said Lindir. "He looks suspiciously like Legolas' older brother that disappeared a while back."

"Shush," said Galion. "Stop interrupting my angsty wailing."

"Hey, we have a question about your sister," said Elrohir.

"Fire away," Galion said. "No! Wait! Not literally. Don't fire anything. And DON'T FIRE ME! I WAS FRAMED!" He sobbed angstily. "Can you believe I was almost fired from my job because of my horrible sister? The King said that I had totally made it up because I wanted to cover up the fact that I had drank all of his wine!"

"Your breath did smell like wine," Lindir said.

"It was my sister's cookies' fault!" Galion defended himself.

"So anyway," said Elrohir. "What happened to your sister?"

Galion looked very guilty suddenly. "Uh...what do you mean? I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're a horrible liar," Elladan said.

"Okay!" Galion gasped. "I admit it! I – I...uh..." He slowly trailed off and stared with a strangely horrified expression behind Lindir and the twins.

"I'm really, really glad Erestor isn't here right now," Elrohir was saying.

Galion squeaked.

"He's behind me, isn't he?" said Elrohir. "This is so cliche."

Galion nodded to both things.

They turned around.

Erestor stood there with a notepad and a pencil, scowling fiercely at them. Glorfindel stood behind him, a bandage wrapped about his head and a decidedly stupid look on his face.

"Uh oh..." said Elrohir.

"Run!" Lindir whispered.

They ran.

When they were safely lost amongst the winding pathways of the dungeons, they finally slowed down, gasping for breath.

"That was close!" Elladan gasped.

"Too close," Elrohir agreed.

Lindir sighed. "Will you please stop saying those overly cliche...things?"

"Fine," said Elladan.

"As you wish," Elrohir said.

Lindir sighed and sat down.

The twins sat down next to him.

"How did Galion's sister die?" Elrohir asked after a minute of no sentences, paragraphs, or even spaces.

"Her troll boyfriend ate her," Lindir said.

"Really?!" Elladan exclaimed with a disgusted look on his face.

"Yes. It was written in the List, Erestor is always right, and therefore the List is right."

"Right," said Elladan.

"No, left," Lindir said.

"Left?"

"Right!" Lindir said.

"Left is right?" said Elladan very confusedly.

"No, left is left," Lindir said in a 'duh' voice.

"But you said –"

"Forget what I said," said Lindir.

Elladan forgot it about two seconds later.

Lindir looked at his watch. "Oops!" he said. "I have a music concert I have to be at in 10 minutes! I have to go!" He turned to run but then stopped. "Oh wait. Here." He handed the List to Elladan. "There, read that to find the next person you need to reveal. I'll be back in a few hours."

Lindir dashed away.

Elrohir tried to grab the List, but Elladan wouldn't let him.

"Why can't I keep the list?" Elrohir complained.

"Because," said Elladan. "I'm older and I get the stuff."

"That's not fair," Elrohir said.

"Neither is life."

"Meanie."

"Weenie."

"I am not weenie!" Elrohir shrieked.

"You are." Elladan patted him on the head. "Itty bitty eeniei weenie tiny baby –"

Elrohir smacked him.

Elladan gasped and felt his face to make sure it was still there. "Why would you do that?!"

"Because you were insulting me!" said Elrohir very insultedly.

"I was?"

"Yes!"

"I...was?"

"I think so."

"Was I?"

"I don't know."

"Ugh," said Elladan. "I am so stressed out. Revealing people's secrets is hard."

"You're telling me?" Elrohir said.

"Who are we going to tell anyway?" said Elladan. "It seems like everyone's killed their sisters. Who is safe?!"

"Me," said a voice behind them.

They slowly turned.

Then they saw his face.

They screamed.


I would just... *coughs into fist* ...like to apologize to the most fabulous 64K for not sending this chapter to be beta-ed or even mentioning it. I really wanted it to be a surprise, because - well, Galion, of course. Galion, the brilliant butler, has finally arrived! (And I'm sort of twitching because there's got to be a ton of mistakes I missed because I wanted this to be a surprise...)

But anyways. Everyone else, kindly review! :D *sprinkles glitter on all of you*