Deryn is still displeased with Bovril when they arrive back at the hotel that night. After some arguing(and some bribery, though Deryn isn't supposed to know about that), the manager allows them to take Bovril up the elevator.
When the clock strikes twelve, the two teenagers are in their room and their guardians are in theirs. Deryn tries again not to feel too self-conscious in her t-shirt, but she copes; after all, if Alek doesn't care, there should be nothing to worry about. Yet, the fact that he doesn't care gets to her more than feeling embarrassed about her body. God, for once she wishes that Alek wouldn't be such a gentleman and notice that he's sharing a room with a girl who isn't wearing trousers to bed. But such thoughts leads to others that will likely involve him grabbing her by the face and kissing her firmly, and Deryn banishes these silly fantasies. She's no moony girl, twirling her hair and giggling flirtatiously.
Still, as she tucks herself into bed, she can't help sneaking a glance to the bed next to hers. Alek sees her, but instead of teasing her for staring, he smiles.
"Goodnight, Deryn," says Alek.
"Goodnight, Alek," says Deryn, and she turns out the light.
Both are still too tense to go to sleep right away though, so they sit in the quiet, waiting for the other to drift off first.
"Deryn?" says Alek, sounding almost timid.
"Yeah?"
"Why did you pretend to be a guy?"
Deryn is silent. Being online is like now, being in the darkness. In the dark, no one can see you, no one can tell the truth from a lie, and everyone is equal because everyone is a stranger and they can't tell you otherwise. It's like now, where Deryn is more comfortable answering this question than she would be if Alek had asked her with the lights on.
"Deryn?" Alek prompts.
"I've told you about my brother, yeah?" she says. "All my life, I've been Deryn Sharp, Jaspert's kid sister who tagged along on every adventure and every trek into the marsh. I've never really had friends of my own; they were always Jaspert's first, then mine." She pauses, and Alek doesn't push her.
"I've tried making friends with the other girls in town," she adds. "It always ends in disaster, though. Once, I tackled Kelly O'Ryan into the mud, dirtying her new dress, and her mum got in a row with my mum. Turns out, girls don't do physical contact."
Deryn imagines him smiling.
"I like pretending to be a guy online. Despite all those barking feminist parades, girls online who play and talk about the stuff I do are still being talked down to. You're a guy, and the bloody son of the Austrian president, too, so you wouldn't know, but we're not treated the same way normally. I mean, look at you. When you thought I was Dylan, we talked about anything and everything; mostly stupid stuff, though. You were never condescending.
"But you've treated me nothing like that since you found out I was a girl. You're so awkward around me, you can hardly look me in the eye. You were Dylan's best friend." Her voice drops to a whisper. "Is Deryn not good enough for you?"
Alek says nothing, and Deryn feels her chest pang in disappointment, for so long that her eyelids begin to droop.
Then, so softly she could have missed it: "I'm sorry."
Deryn's face could crack, she's smiling so widely. "Thanks," she says quietly. "And for the record, I forgive you for not telling me you were practically royalty."
This time, she can hear the smile in his voice. "Goodnight, Miss Sharp."