Robert was at a crossroads as he stood with his back to Cora. She had expressly asked him to leave - twice - but his feet seemed incapable of obeying her request. Never did he anticipate just how much damage he could inflict on their relationship with another woman he had little interest in. Sure, she was handsome but her intelligence left something to be desired and despite enduring his mother's endless stream of speeches about how well matched they were, Robert knew it was just an attempt to push Cora from his mind. Never would he buy such a tactic. Yet now, he stood in the same room with the same woman who occupied all of his dreams, both in slumber and his waking hours. And she had distanced herself from him as a result of his petty actions.
He had tried to get her to see his point of view. Tried and failed. She seemed determined to shut him out in her obvious distress and all he wanted to do was defuse the situation they now found themselves in. He wanted to reassure her of his love and loyalty to her, but she wasn't listening. How could he break down the wall she had built?
The answer to his musing smacked him hard in the face. Rubbing his jaw as if he had received the blow physically, he moaned.
"Why aren't you going?" Her voice behind him startled him. Pulling himself back he faced her again and was hurt to see she was looking aggravated by his lack of movement.
"I can't."
"I don't want you here anymore. It is bad enough that you have tried to make light of something that pains me so and now you undermine me by not adhering to my request for privacy," Cora said, her voice strained.
"If I walk out that door now," he pointed at the door on the other side of the room. "Then I fear I will leave a scar on you that will never fully heal. I do not want to risk our relationship any further." Robert observed her intently, trying to gauge her reaction and it reminded him of their early days. They had been so unsure of each other and many times, Robert had feared he had overstepped the line in the sand with her. She had been so vulnerable, so uncertain of her own capabilities as she struggled to accept what her heart wanted – him. And when they had finally run away and started a new life it had been bliss, for a short while. But if there was one thing Robert wanted beyond anything, it was to earn back that bliss with her. He had to. His happiness depended on it and he was confident hers did too.
Cora was only half-seeing Robert despite looking directly at him as she struggled to process his declaration. Something had shifted and whatever was running through his head in those moments was apparently still shifting. Unable to respond, she waited quietly for him to elaborate.
"Remember how in the early days there was so much uncertainty?" he began. Caught off guard by the change in subject Cora stared at him blankly. Seeing her wrong footed, Robert continued. "We were so unsure of ourselves, of each other. I met an intriguing, beautiful young woman at the Masquerade Ball and fell hopelessly in love with her before my brain could catch up. All I could think about was that woman. How I wanted to be with her, protect her from her beastly husband, be everything she wanted in a man but of course, that is all easier said than done. The woman I had given my heart to was young, nervous, in pain every other day and too scared to reach out to me until her husband's behavior and her own heart made her reconsider. How overjoyed I was when she drove all over London just to find me and take a small leap of faith but even then, our friendship was fragile. I knew there was a wonderful, fun-loving, quietly strong and intelligent woman buried in there somewhere but it took courage for her to emerge from the shell she carried. Once she had though, it was like heaven to me. While she continued to have moments of uncertainty, her love and trust in me allowed me to dispel them with a word, a look, a touch, a kiss. It was such an endearment, that I could do that. That I could love her and provide for her. And then our road took another few unexpected turns but we kept working through it together. That is, until I made a mistake. A mistake I am worried will cost me my world, our world."
Holding her eyes with his, Robert took a few deep breaths to steady himself. "Cora I am so sorry that I caused you to feel like this. The hurt I have caused you hurts me. Please believe me when I say I never meant to. I was just trying to protect you but I can see now that I went about it the wrong way." Taking her hands in his, he knelt before her and looked up at her. "Forgive me?" he pleaded.
Silent salty droplets fell to the floor as Cora absorbed the finish of his speech. Until this moment, she had not fathomed where his exact headspace had been all this time but now she understood. And it very much matched her own. Robert had seen her point of view after all and as she rested her attention upon him, she could see the burden etched on his face. The toll it was taking on him as he tried to keep her happy and his family at bay. She was reading his point of view from his creased brow, not his words and she knew. Perhaps she had been a little unreasonable? But only in the slightest. Squeezing his hands gently, she slipped off her chair and into his arms.
Finally, Robert was able to let his breath go as he all but clung to his love in relief. "Thank God for you anyway," he rasped as his emotional toll reached its pinnacle. Cora felt, rather than saw his tears as they rolled down his checks and onto her neck. Pulling back she reached up and brushed them away lightly with her soft touch which he reciprocated with her. She smiled though her eyebrows pulled together and nested close to him, not caring they were on the floor.
"Robert," she sighed. "I'm sorry I was so rude when I asked you to leave."
"That's alright." Robert stroked the nape of her neck as he sat down on his legs completely and eased her down too.
"It's just," Cora cut herself short. They were only just making up and she still felt that the situation was delicate.
"It's just what?" Robert pressed. Cora chewed her tongue. Her reservations about telling him what she felt were very high.
"Nothing."
"It obviously isn't nothing or you wouldn't have started saying anything. We've just made up after a lack of communication caused some misunderstandings between us. Let's not make the same mistake twice. Please tell me," Robert urged and kissed her forehead.
"Alright. I'm just tired of having to wait," Cora whispered. Robert tightened his hold on her as his stomach plummeted south. "I'm sorry. I wouldn't have said that if you hadn't insisted…" she trailed off.
"No, I'm glad you did tell me Cora darling. I am sick of it as well and I think there has been enough time now for us to move forward." Cora froze, hardly daring to believe her ears. "I have appeased Mama and it has been awhile since he was found dead. I think it is time to make my intentions clear to society."
"Oh Robert," Cora sobbed happily. "That makes me so happy. How will you do it?"
"There is a ball at the end of next week. I am yet to receive further details but I believe it is in a hall close to the Thames. How would you like to dance the night away with me?"
"You know I would love to. But people will talk if we dance together too much." Robert looked down at her.
"You really do have your moments when it comes to practicality Cora." Cora grinned and blushed at his sideways compliment. "Three times then?" he asked. She nodded. "Twice back to back and then another one later in the evening. And I for one, hope that Lady Emma will be there so that issue can be resolved too."
"Mmmm that would be good," Cora's muffled voice vibrated against his chest. "Either way, I'm just so thankful you didn't leave and we are together again." Snaking her arm up around his neck, Cora sought his lips with her own, needing the reaffirmation it brought. Robert eagerly took up the invitation and kissed her passionately. It had been a while.
The room was alight with joy as Robert paraded Cora across the dance floor for the third time that evening. He was grinning, he was laughing merrily and he was basking in the attention his peers were paying him and Cora as the evening wore on. Cora was radiant. Never had she ever felt so happy at a ball, even when she had just arrived in London, fresh and bursting with excitement. Everyone that Robert had introduced her to had treated her with the utmost respect and appreciation which had caused her to blush several times. She had also enjoyed catching up with Rosamund and Marmaduke. Marmaduke had also asked her to dance along with some of Robert's chums, which had kept her very preoccupied indeed. She had been aware of Lady Wakefield and a few other acquaintances discreetly throwing her unkind looks but she was beyond caring.
His fingers danced over the surface of her skin. A shift in weight and she was gliding in a circle with him, their hands the centre point of the move. Breaking apart they danced behind the others in their set before facing each other on the side again as the music came to a close. Enthusiastic clapping broke out as Robert stepped towards Cora and lead her off the dance floor to a secluded corner.
"Thank you for the honour of dancing with me," Robert said jovially and winked. Cora cracked a wide smile and stepped a little closer, her happiness and the wine she'd drunk at dinner making her bold.
"It was my absolute pleasure Lord Downton," she responded. Lowering her voice she added, "And you look so handsome tonight." The corners of Robert's mouth twitched upwards as he ran his eyes over her figure-hugging cream ensemble.
"And you are by far the most beautiful woman in the room," he gushed. Glowing, she swatted his arm lightly.
"Mind your manners Robert Crawley," she chided teasingly.
"Indeed." He bowed. "Good evening Lady Durham," he said and headed off in search of his father. Her eyes followed him as he was commandeered by his mother but just as the first fluttering of uneasiness hit her she was approached by another man that she recognized as one of Robert's acquaintances. Stopping in front of her he bowed.
"Good evening, Lady Durham. May I have the honour of claiming the next dance with you?" he asked cordially.
"I absolutely cannot condone your antics last night!" Violet's waspish tone slammed into Robert hard.
"My, my antics Mama? What antics are you referring to?" he gaped.
"I am talking about you dancing with Lady Durham last night Robert. Have you no consideration for the reputation of our family? One dance was more than enough let alone three!"
"Lady Durham is a respectable woman who is trying to find her feet in society again. I do not see what that has to do with this families' reputation," Robert fired back.
"Do not take that tone with your mother sir!" Patrick intervened.
"Her accusation is bang out of order," Robert protested.
"Lady Durham is a woman in mourning and should not have been attending a ball in the first place given the circumstances," Patrick explained calmly.
"So you would sentence her to home imprisonment until she is out of mourning?" Robert spluttered.
"That is just the way life is sometimes." He stated simply.
"No it's not," Robert almost laughed. "I wasn't the only one dancing with her last night. I don't think C-Lady Durham missed a single dance while she was there last night." Robert held his breath, hoping neither of his parents would notice his blunder mid-sentence.
"Then she should have shown more restraint. This is exactly why these Americans coming over here make for such unsuitable marriage material." Robert was furious.
"You have met Lady Durham before Mama, I remember it. That afternoon I came home to find her sitting with you and Rosamund?"
"She was there on Rosamund's invitation, not mine," Violet reminded him. "Those Americans may have a lot of money but they do not understand the importance of tradition, nor are their families old."
"That is a very narrow view to take," Robert grumbled.
"Please do not have anything to do with that woman again," Violet instructed her son.
"Her name is Lady Durham and I will make no promise of the kind."
"For heaven's sake Robert look at the facts. She disappeared for an extended period during which time her husband was killed under suspicious circumstances. She then returns and her father-in-law dies soon afterwards. Is it not obvious now what damage we could sustain if we are seen to be associated with that woman?" Violet spat.
"I have not forgotten the particulars but I do not agree with everything you have said. Her father-in-laws death is not linked to the rest of the story in anyway. He died of natural causes and he had forgiven his daughter-in-law any discrepancies against her name which leads me to believe that there must be more to this than you think there is. Now I am going for a walk," Robert announced. Nodding slightly to his father he turned and headed for the door to the hallway.
"Robert," Patrick called after him. He halted in the doorway. "How do you know Lord Furringham forgave her?" Robert swallowed through the sudden constriction in his throat.
"Because she told me," he said honestly and left before any further exchanges could ensue.
Patrick and Violet stood in stunned silence as they listened to the front door close signaling Robert's departure. Patrick glanced sideways at his wife, expecting a verbal explosion at any moment but instead, she spoke quietly, dangerously quietly.
"I think he means to court her Patrick," she announced. "And if I am right, society will surely shun us. Many families are wary of that woman since she ran away and rightly so. We cannot let Robert near her again!"
"Indeed, though I fear he knows more than he is letting on," Patrick owned. "Oh my dear boy, what have you done?" the Earl mused aloud.
"Go after him now," Violet turned to her husband and touched his arm. "He needs to see sense. This will be for the good of the family."
"He left five minutes ago and didn't say where he went so it is too late for that. I'll speak to him tonight, after dinner. We haven't got any guests this evening."
"And let us hope that doesn't become a regular occurrence because of this," she worried.
Cora looked up from her letter following a knock at the Drawing Room door. "Come in," she called.
The door opened and Robert appeared. "Robert!" she exclaimed happily, leaping up and hurrying over to him. "You never told me you were coming today."
"I thought I would surprise you," he smiled and leaned down to kiss her gently on the lips.
"I never heard the front door," Cora continued conversationally. "What's that you are holding?" she asked and gestured to the basket in Robert's left hand.
"I thought we might take a picnic in the park since it is such a lovely day. I daresay we should make the most of the good weather while we can as there are only a few weeks left of it," he explained.
"But won't other people see us in the park?" Concerned flickered in her eyes. "I think your idea is very sweet, I just wouldn't want to cause a societal stir."
"We already have," Robert confessed.
"What do you mean?"
"All our dancing at the ball certainly gained a lot of attention so I cannot say I really care if people see us now. I'm through with society and all its rules." Robert was tempted to confess that an argument with his parents had driven him here via a couple of shops in the first place but he could see how apprehensive she was. Better to leave some things unsaid for now. "Does not America embrace change?" he gazed at her, trying to communicate his full desire to take her out without the aid of vocabulary.
"We are more open to it," Cora agreed. Her attention then flickered back to the basket and its sure-to-be delicious contents. Perhaps a romantic afternoon out would be just what she needed? The letter quite forgotten, they left for the park.
Much to the surprise of them both, there was barely anyone around by the time they reached the park. Robert guided Cora along a path with evenly spaced trees and oil lamps and during that time they only saw two people, both complete strangers. "I wonder why there are not more people here?" Cora thought out loud. "I thought your logic about coming out was sound."
"I don't understand it any more than you Lady Durham," Robert replied. Cora glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. "Just in case we should happen upon any acquaintances," Robert explained in answer to her look. They rounded a bend where several shrubs had hindered a long distance view and Cora found that they had reached a pond, and it seemed familiar.
"Robert is this…?"
"This is the park I once brought you to after you had spent the afternoon with Mama and Rosamund," Robert confirmed. "It is my favourite park in London despite its smaller size."
"How lovely," Cora threaded her fingers together and smiled up at him expectantly. Robert glanced around and saw a patch of lush grass beside the pond where no water plants covered the view and started towards it with Cora following. There had been no rain for three weeks so he sat down immediately and beckoned for her to follow suit, which she did.
The lid of the basket was flipped open and Robert started to rummage in it. Cora watched as he pulled out a bowl of whipped cream and wondered what would accompany it. Next came two forks and napkins and finally a nearly overflowing plate of strawberries.
"Oh how delightful, my favourite fruit!" Cora declared.
"Really?" Robert said hopefully.
"Did I not already tell you?"
"No but I am very pleased I guessed right!" Robert grinned.
"Oh I thought I must have or you wouldn't have done this. Never mind. Good guess Robert," she grinned back and reached for her napkin. Arranging it in her lap she picked up her fork and looked at Robert.
"May I?" she asked with the air of an excitable child.
"Certainly darling," Robert encouraged. Cora did not need any further pressing and started eating the strawberries more quickly than he anticipated.
"Mmmm these are awfully good. Where did you get them?" Cora inquired as she raised another strawberry to her lips.
"There is a shop in the center of town that specializes in all types of fruit, even exotic fruit and the owner prepared this for me. I hope you don't mind that there isn't anything else?" Robert said suggestively.
"No these are," she paused to take a small bite, "delicious!"
The next few minutes passed in companionable silence with noises of contentment emitting from Cora every few bites. Robert ate a few strawberries but his appetite just wasn't there. In fact, as he watched Cora eat and relax beside him, he felt his chest tighten and butterflies swarm his stomach. It had been a spur of the moment thing but he had been waiting for the right moment a long time already. And though he knew his parents would take some time to come around he was confident they would be able to see and appreciate the Cora he loved in the end as well. They would have to.
A strange scrapping noise cut into Robert's thoughts and his eyes found Cora, who appeared to be studying the plate rather intently. Only a few strawberries were left and most of the cream had gone he realized. As if deciding she had been imagining things, Cora extended her arm in favour of a very ripe strawberry near the middle. As she grasped it though, there was another metallic like sound. Frowning she picked it up and checked it but there was nothing amiss so she devoured it just like the others. Robert watched her carefully, trying to keep the coy smile off his lips. This was it.
As the fruit slipped down her throat she turned back to the plate and her eyes finally rested on the source of the noise. A ring sat where nothing but white plate should be visible. Cora's jaw went slack but she barely noticed as she stared at the artifact on the plate. Blinking a few times to reassure herself she wasn't imagining things, she leaned forward and extracted the ring from the few remaining strawberries and examined it. Her heart began to pound and her breathing quickened. The ring was a thin gold band with three sapphires that matched her eyes. Robert cleared his throat to get her attention and she found herself suddenly face to face with him. Kneeling on one knee in front of where she sat, his eyes bore right into her soul.
"You know what this is do you not?" he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Yes," she murmured back as her lips twitched upwards.
"It is a symbol of my love and devotion to you. I kneel before you now because you are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with." He paused to collect more air to steady his nerves of anticipation. Making direct eye contact with her he released the long awaited words from his lips.
"Cora will you marry me?"