Thank you all for the reviews :))) Now, let's see what the Doctor's past holds for us and the protagonists.

Chapter 26

7 Years Ago – The Doctor

Finally he had found her, her purple jacket giving her away even in the darkness and the scarce light of the street lamp. The Doctor didn't know why Rose had come here but the note she had left him scribbled on his canvas had been plain and obvious – even to him.

Meet me at our spot.

The bridge was where they had met, where he had first painted her and where he had finally confessed his feelings for her, too. This was it. This was their spot.

"Rose?" the Doctor asked as he carefully stepped closer.

Something was off about her but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. When she turned around he noticed that she was crying.

"Rose? Is something wrong?"

She smiled at him through her tears. "Everything's wrong, Doctor. Just everything."

The Doctor raised his eyebrows, frowning at her. "I don't think I understand. Why did you ask me here?"

"I've come here a lot lately. You didn't even notice I was gone."

"Why?"

It was all he could ask. The Doctor felt confused because half an hour ago he had been sure that everything was going just fine and now Rose was acting so strangely that it was beginning to scare him.

"I can't keep doing this, Doctor," she smiled sadly and before he could even react she had swung a leg over the balustrade of the bridge, and then the other. One moment later Rose was on the other side of it, holding on tight onto the balustrade so as not to fall.

"Rose?!" he asked, horrified, taking a small step closer, "What are you doing?"

She smiled at him. She just smiled and it frightened him to the very core. Something was terribly wrong with Rose and the Doctor had no idea what it was or when it had started or what he was supposed to do now. Carefully he stepped even closer and outstretched his hand to her.

"Rose, take my hand. Climb back over. We'll go home and we'll talk about it. Please," he said warily.

Rose shook her head.

"You don't see me anymore. I'm with you all the time and to you it's like I'm not even there. It's like you're seeing right through me. You just paint and paint and paint and but you never paint me anymore. It's like I don't even exist. I'm nothing."

"That's not true, Rose. I love you, you're my girlfriend," the Doctor said gently, still holding out his hand for her to take. It had taken him so long to say these words to her. He had confessed his feelings over a year ago but the three words only now came over his lips.

"But I'm not your muse any longer. I don't inspire you anymore," she said angrily, raising her voice now, "I used to be your everything. I'm just waiting for someone new to come along. Then you'll have forgotten all about me."

"I new muse won't change how I feel about you. You and painting – that's all I have."

"You are all I have, Doctor!" Rose started yelling at him, "And right now I don't even feel like I have you at all."

"What about your mother, huh? Your friends? Your job?" he took another step in her direction, "Please, Rose, just come down from there."

All of a sudden she broke out into laughter and the Doctor was about to launch forward and grab her, afraid she was going to fall.

"I've been living with you for a year and you know nothing about me. Nothing! I haven't talked to my mother since I moved out! I haven't talked to any of my friends! I lost my job a few months ago! You're all that I have, Doctor, and you don't even know it!"

"Rose, please," the Doctor was only two steps away from her. If he was quick he could reach her, grab her hand before she could do anything stupid, "Let's talk about this."

"We are talking, Doctor," she reminded him.

"Not like this! Just climb back on my side, please! I am begging you!" he said desperately.

"And I was begging you to spend some time with me last week. And the week before that. You never did!"

"I will," he almost shouted, "I'll do everything you want as soon as you climb back on this side!"

And then a smile spread on Rose's face. It wasn't a happy one, it wasn't belittling him. It was only serene.

"Goodbye, Doctor," she whispered.

"No! Rose!"

The Doctor darted forward but when he tried to grab her his hands only found air and a few seconds later he could hear a splash when she hit the water.

Without even thinking about it the Doctor broke out into a run and he didn't stop until he had reached the riverbank. As quickly as he could he tossed his coat aside and jumped into the icy cold water. He couldn't prevent her fall but he wouldn't let her die in this river. The water was biting and the Doctor could feel a sharp pain shoot through his head. He could hardly see a thing as he dove into the river but he had to find her.

He couldn't say for how long he remained in the water, for how long he remained looking for her but his movements started to grow slow and it became increasingly hard to navigate under water. Every time the Doctor came up to breathe it required more and more strength to go back under. He wasn't sure how long he could keep doing this.

Then finally he saw Rose just floating around in the water. She looked so peaceful and the Doctor was beginning to wonder if it would be possible to rest down here. He was feeling so tired all of a sudden.

Somehow he managed to wrap his arms around her and drag both of them to the riverbank. That was when he realized his legs were giving away underneath him and he collapsed right next to Rose, their bodies still halfway in the river. He knew she wasn't breathing. He had to help her. He had to. And then everything went black.

OOO

There was a monotonous beeping sound disturbing his sleep and it was bright, too bright. But now that he had woken up there was no way back into the peaceful, empty dark so the Doctor opened his eyes.

It took him a moment to realize that he was in a hospital room and wired up to several machines. When he looked to his left there was the blurry outline of a dark haired woman slowly shifting into focus.

"Hello there," she said in a friendly tone, her accent obviously Scottish, like his own, "I'm Missy. I found you by the river. Remember me?"

He tried to. But there was nothing there. Nothing except Rose.

"Rose," he said weakly.

Gently the woman reached for his hand and squeezed it. The warmth of her touch felt quite nice on his skin.

"I'm sorry," Missy said sincerely, "I'm afraid your friend didn't make it. I saw what happened on the bridge, I called an ambulance but there was nothing they could do. I'm sorry."

"It's my fault," he whispered, his voice hardly audible even to himself.

"No," the woman corrected him, "I saw it. She jumped. It wasn't your fault. You did everything you could to save her. That was very brave of you."

She paused for a moment before she spoke again.

"I came back to the hospital to see if you were okay. They said you caught a pretty bad hypothermia but you'll be fine."

The Doctor had failed. He should have seen it coming, he was sure there must have been some warning signs. But he never did. He was blind and oblivious but he would never, ever let something like this happen again. From now on he would never touch a muse ever again.

"I can come back later if you like," Missy said kindly.

"Why?" he asked simply.

Missy just shrugged. "I saved your life. You're kind of my responsibility now," she replied, granting him a smile.

The Doctor took a deep breath and finally he nodded.