A/N: No darkness, just a bit of melancholy memories.

Being at their home in Spain brought back so many memories for Clarisse, that they nearly overwhelmed her. Images from the past seemed to be flooding her mind until all she could do was sit and stare out the window and give in to the feelings and remember.

Shock, that was the only way to describe the way she felt. Who knew that she could still get pregnant at her age? What was she going to do? She'd only been a widow for six months. What would the people say when they found out their Queen was two months pregnant? What was she going to tell…

"Clarisse, what's wrong?" Joseph, having just entered her office, rushed to her side after seeing the evidence of tears on her face.

Clarisse couldn't face him. She turned to the windows and wiped at her tears. "I'm fine, Joseph."

"No, you aren't." He moved behind her and pulled her to him, resting his hands on her stomach.

Clarisse felt the touch of his hands like a jolt of fire and jerked away from him, her body trembling. "Don't touch me!" She almost screamed at him.

Joe stood stunned. "Clarisse? What's wrong? What have I done?"

She turned, her eyes like ice. "You ask me that? What have you done? What have you done?!" She was screaming now. "I'll tell you what you've done," she seethed as she moved within inches of him. Her voice dropped, the anger still blazing in her eyes. "I'm pregnant thanks to you being irresponsible."

Joe stumbled backward, the breath in his lungs stuck there. Did she just say she was pregnant? "A…a…baby?" he finally managed to stutter out. Then he frowned. His fault? "What the hell does that mean? I wasn't the only one involved that night, you know. You were the one that came to me, wanting me to take the pain away. If I remember correctly, I tried to bring you back to your room and you begged me not to. I gave in because I couldn't stand to see you hurting. I even told you I didn't have anything." He glared at her, his glare immediately softening when he saw her tears return.

"I'm so sorry," she cried as she sank down on the sofa, her head in her hands.

Joe shook his head. What the hell was going on? She was all over the place with her emotions. He moved to her side and pulled her against him. "No, I'm the one that is sorry. I shouldn't have cursed at you or said those things. That was very insensitive."

Clarisse sobbed against his chest. "You had every right to say those things to me. I was horrid to you." She pulled back and looked up at him. "I'm just so scared, I don't know what to do."

Joe wiped at her tears. "Shh. Are you going to," he left the rest unsaid, holding his breath while waiting for her answer.

"No." Her voice was firm. "I won't do that."

Joe heaved a sigh, releasing the breath he'd been holding. "How far are you?"

"Two months."

"Then we have a few months to make any decisions. Don't think about it now." Joe settled back against the sofa, Clarisse against his chest.

Clarisse felt herself relaxing under the gentle touch of Joe's hand as he caressed her back. "I shouldn't have told you like this. I didn't mean to. It's just," she paused to swallow the lump in her throat. "When I felt your hands on my stomach, something seemed to snap."

"It's alright, Darling." Joe soothed.

"Why are you being so sweet to me? I was horrid." She couldn't understand this man.

"Because I love you." Was his simple answer.

"I don't deserve it." She turned in his arms so she could look up at him.

"Never say that, my darling." Joe tenderly touched her lips with his.

Clarisse sighed as the kiss ended and stared into the green eyes of the man that had been her protector and friend for all of her adult life. Taking his hand, she placed it on her stomach. "Your baby." She watched as a tear rolled down his cheek.

Joe gently caressed her stomach with his thumb. "Our baby," he whispered.

"Yes, our baby." She smiled as she rested her hand over his. "Do you want a son?"

Joe shook his head. "No."

Clarisse looked at him, a bit shocked. "No?"

"No." He looked at her. "I want a girl who looks just like her mother."

She smiled. "You old softie." She felt totally at ease now even though they hadn't solved the problem of what to do.

"Clarisse?" Joe whispered after a few moments.

"Yes?" She snuggled against his chest, her body cradled in his arms.

Joe kept his hand on her stomach. "I think I know how we can protect you."

"Yes?" She tilted her head up and stared at him.

"I have a home outside a small village in Spain. We can go there. Use the excuse that you need time away to grieve in peace and to get your health back. Everyone knows that you've been sick, they don't need to know the reason. And they don't need to know the reason you're grieving is over your sons' anger, not over Rupert's death. It will work in our favor, and take the pressure off of you to fake being upset that he's gone." Joe caressed her cheek. "We'll leave in secret so that no one will know where we're going. I'm the only security you'll need as you will be in seclusion at a safe place. It's perfect. No one will suspect a thing. You'll have to wear a disguise when we leave here, and when you go out once we get there, but my home is secluded enough that you won't have to worry about someone coming along that might recognize you while you're there."

Clarisse blinked. That was some plan for such short notice. "Wow. Your mind works very quickly."

"It's why I'm the Head of Security." He winked at her.

Clarisse smiled slightly. "How do we explain my being gone for several months? And who will run the country while I'm gone?"

"Pierre and Philippe will just have to come home and assume some responsibility. I know that Pierre is thinking of abdicating and joining the church, but he hasn't yet. I also realize that Philippe can't officially take the throne until that happens and because he isn't old enough, but the two of them can still handle things while you're gone. The things they can't handle, you can always deal with over the phone."

Clarisse shook her head, a tear rolling down her cheek. "They won't do that, Joseph."

"Clarisse, what happened? Why are the boys so angry with you?" Joe asked her gently.

"Well, I've never been Pierre's favorite person." She shrugged. "They learned the truth and didn't believe it." Was the only explanation she gave.

"Oh." Joe whispered, knowing exactly what she had meant. "I'm sorry, Darling. But they will just have to grow up, be men and bear the duty of the crown while you are away. They will have no choice."

"Well, if we leave it up to Parliament to approach the boys, they can't refuse."

"Now then, as for how to explain your being gone for several months; I'll send word that your illness is worse than suspected and that we have to stay gone longer by order of your doctors. No one will question it. The country loves you and wants you to be healthy." He caressed her face. "Besides, who would ever figure out that you're pregnant? No one, other than the two of us and your doctor, knows and no one is going to suspect something like that."

She chuckled, "Especially when the Queen herself didn't think it possible."

Joe chuckled with her. "Exactly."

"But," she sighed.

"What is it?"

"What happens after I have the baby? We can't just bring her back here."

Joe smiled at Clarisse's use of her when talking about their baby, but then his expression grew sad. "We'll have to leave her there."

Tears filled Clarisse's eyes. "I can't leave our baby behind."

"It's the only way, my darling." He felt his chest grow tight. "I hate the thoughts of leaving our precious child, but we have no other choice. It's the only way we can spare you the humiliation."

Looking from him, she felt her heart break at the pain she saw in his eyes. "I'm so sorry. If I could, I would make Pierre make up his mind so that I could step down and let Philippe take over and just move away with you, but," she left the rest unsaid. What was the use when Joe already knew the rest?

Turning her face back to him, he tilted it up so that she was looking at him. "Shh. We won't leave her until she's a few months old. And I promise that my aunt will take very good care of her. Our baby will know who we are and we'll go see her as many times as we can work out. I promise." Joe sealed his promise with a kiss.

Clarisse settled back against his chest. "Listen to us. We're calling our baby a girl before we even know."

"I know." He tapped his heart. "The child growing inside you is a beautiful baby girl with the bluest eyes, eyes that mirror her mother's."

"Oh Joseph." Clarisse couldn't help the tears, and then the nausea set in again. "I'm going to be sick." She pulled from his arms and rushed toward the bathroom.

Joe followed her. Standing outside the door, he cringed. "Are you alright?" he finally asked when it grew quiet.

Clarisse opened the door. "I think so." She looked at him with a scowl. "This is definitely something that I could have done without."

"I'm sorry." He tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Don't be sorry. Just go see if you can find me some saltines and peppermint tea."

"Peppermint?"

She shrugged. "Yes. It's the only one that will settle my stomach."

"I'll see what I can do." Joe kissed her cheek.

Clarisse watched him leave and sighed. Moving to the sofa, she slipped off her shoes and laid down. This was going to be a long seven months.