Disclaimer: I do not own The 100 or the characters in it. They are owned by Kass Morgan
Summery: Clarke was always good at keeping secrets. In fact, she's been keeping one since she was six years old and it's about to come out in the open.
Couples: Bellarke eventually
Rating: T probably because of swearing mostly
XOXOX
It was almost dark by the time the grave was finished. Clarke stood next to the newest grave unemotional as she looked at the six foot hole in the ground that held her oldest friend. It was all her fault that Wells was in that ditch; if he didn't get arrested he wouldn't be here right now. He would still be at The Ark, yes still in danger but he would have more time. She could have saved him.
She knows Octavia is not far away, just waiting for the right moment to slip in and comfort her. It makes her feel slightly better to know she hasn't lost everyone in her life that matters to her.
She hears someone moving towards her but she pays them no attention. She was the worst person in the world. First she blamed Wells for her dad's death, then when she found out it was really her mother, she gotten forgiven right away!? She didn't deserve someone like Wells in her life. Someone who loved her like he loved her, knowing she didn't feel the same way.
"I've assigned guards to each side of the camp until the wall is complete. Then, when it's finished I was thinking of having a guard on each end in the mornings then double them at night. Another set of rotation." Bellamy's soft voice fills her mind, drowning out her self pity.
Clarke doesn't look away from the grave but nods in agreement at Bellamy's plans. He was doing what she needed done and for that she was grateful. She may never know what happened to Wells, who killed him, but she and Bellamy could do the best thing for the camp to protect them.
They stood together in silence for almost an hour before the stars started to come out. Bellamy looks up and admits how beautiful the stars look on earth. So far away, peaking out from the trees and the clouds. It was a sight he loved seeing. So much better than space where you could only see stars; on Earth people could appreciate their beauty.
"You know before the war, people used to wish on stars." He says softly and she finally, finally looks at him before looking at the stars.
"What would you wish for?" She asks and he thinks about it. There's a lot of things he wants. For Octavia and him to be safe, for his mother to be alive again, for The Ark not to follow them down here so he wouldn't be killed on the spot, not having to kill Jaha at all, too many things.
She must have taken his silence as him making fun of her again because she scoffs and shakes her head.
"Forget about it." She mutters before looking Well's grave again.
He turns to her.
"I wouldn't know what to wish for." He admits and she looks at him again.
Before she can reply, she notices a shooting star.
"Aren't those rare to see on Earth? A shooting star." She points and he turns and sees it too. Only, it doesn't look like a star...it looks like a ship.
"I don't think that's a star." He says worried and she perks up and sees that it wasn't a star at all. It was a drop ship.
"They're here." He whispers frightfully. It was time for him to run.
XOXOX
They both agree to wait till the first light to see who landed or what landed. However, what Bellamy didn't tell Clarke was that he was going before her to see what he was dealing with. If any officials or hell, if Commander Shumway came down here, he needed to grab Octavia and run as fast as they could, grounders and the camp be damned. He felt somewhat guilty about leaving all the responsibility on Clarke and taking her only friend, but O was his sister, his responsibility and he wouldn't leave without her.
Bellamy slowly and confidently nods to the guard Miller, who lets him through without a word. Miller seemed like a good enough guy. Quiet and didn't seem to get involved in the general bullshit which Bellamy not only respected but appreciated. He's pretty sure that his dad is a guard as well on The Ark (the not corrupt kind), which is why the position is so natural for him.
It takes him a couple hours to find the sight since it was still a little dark out but when he does, he is very surprised to find a young girl, unconscious, around his age. No one else was with her and it didn't look like she even had supplies for herself much less any of them.
His head snaps to the front of the ancient ship when he hears a voice. Shit, a radio! If they got in touch with The Ark, whoever was the newest Chancellor, Marcus Kane most likely, will announce he killed Wells' dad and the camp could turn on him or even O for all he knew.
He knew however, Clarke had a point on why they needed their elders in space to know they were alive. If they had the power to send them supplies like food or anything, it would help them all a lot. Unfortunately, Bellamy was only thinking of him and his sister. Not letting himself talk himself out of it, he rips the radio out of the ship and runs away with it, leaving the girl bleeding and passed out.
He just hopes he is doing the right thing.
XOXOX
At first light, Clarke is gathered with Monty and Finn who were getting ready to go to the landing sight of whatever or whoever crashed last night. Hopefully whatever it is will have supplies they can use to help make camp a little easier for them. When Clarke goes to wake up Bellamy, she is almost surprised when he isn't there.
She should have known he would have went without her to check it out. Whatever he did to get on the drop ship to Earth was bad, so bad he would risk everyone's safety to protect him and his sister.
She quietly makes her way to her tent where Octavia was curled up in her bed sleeping soundly. Ever since they arrived, her best friend has been trying to pull away from her protective older brother, while still clinging to her best friend. It frustrated Bellamy that her sister was openly choosing her over him, but Clarke tried to tell him that right now, Octavia needed to be free not smothered and she would never let anything his sister. He didn't like it, but was trying to give her some of the space she wanted.
She gently shakes her awake making Octavia sleepily rub her eyes before settling on her friend.
"What is it?" She mutters looking around and noticing it was still early. Too early for her to be awake.
"I'm leaving; I just wanted to ask if you could try and get Jasper out of camp for a little." She requested and O smiled thinking of her new goofy friend hopefully getting out of camp. Ever since he recovered, he's been too frightened to leave the protection of the camp and his friends were worried for him.
"No problem." She says sitting up. She can tell something was wrong, Clarke had that look in her eye that worried her.
"What happened?" She asked more awake now and Clarke sits down on her cot before taking her hand.
"Bellamy left to the landing sight without us. I'm worried he's going to do something to make sure The Ark can't help us or worse, take you and run from the camp." She admits and Octavia gasps. She knows her brother did something to get down here with them, but he still had the responsibility to the rest of the hundred to protect, not just her.
"Damnit Bell! Why can't he understand he doesn't need to protect me anymore!?" She asks her oldest friend frustrated and Clarke shrugs before standing up.
"I'm going to try and bring him back. If he beats me here, please try and convince him that running isn't the answer. We need him here." She says sincerely and Octavia smiles. She knows her brother and her best friend have a very strained relationship but she knows how much Clarke has done for him her whole life, and her friend really does care for her hard headed brother.
"Of course. Be safe out there." Octavia says and Clarke nods before walking out of the tent.
She gets the boys, and together they head out.
It doesn't take them long to get to the ship. Clarke knew whatever they sent down wasn't the Exodus ship that was meant to carry their people for their final journey, but she was hoping for more to be honest. Medicine, blankets, tools, weapons, anything; but no, instead there was a girl there. Just a girl. When they find her, Finn gasps in happiness but worry when he sees the blood on her head.
"Raven! We need to get her out of here." He exclaims and tries to pull her seat belt off and lift her, but clearly he was too excited and needed Monty to help him.
They quickly lied her down and Clarke checked if there was any serious injuries but her only one was her head, which was superficial.
Hopefully when she woke up, they could figure out why Finn's girlfriend was here with nothing to help them.
XOXOX
A couple hours after the group left, Octavia walks up to Jasper who was sitting on the drop ship trying to see if there was anything he could see that Monty may have overlooked to try and contact The Ark.
"Hey there cutie. How's it going?" Octavia asks casually and Jasper smiled softly. When they first arrived, Jasper was instantly attracted to the younger Blake, but when he came back he knew the most he would ever get from her was friendship. Octavia was an amazing and sweet girl, but she was wild as fire and he knew he would never be enough for such a woman. However, she was a great friend to him and he liked having someone like her care about him.
"Oh you know, the usual. Just seeing if there is anything I can do to help with the communication." He says shrugging. He can tell she wants to say something but is waiting for a good moment. This girl is about as subtle as a gun when it came to her emotions.
"So I was thinking of going for a walk later, would you want to join me?" She finally pipes up after a couple minutes of silence and Jasper sighs.
"I don't think so. I really wanna work on this." He denies her offer and hopes that's enough for her. Unfortunately it was not.
"Jasper, you know you're going to have to leave camp sooner or later." She says softly putting her hand on his shoulder.
Jasper closes his eyes and tries to fight the memories of the grounders taking him, stringing him up, and leaving him for dead; hopefully taking Clarke or Bellamy along with him. It was forever burned into his memory and he didn't think he was strong enough to leave. What if they took him again? What if they tried to take Octavia and he couldn't protect her?
"I can't." He admits whispering to her and she hugs him from behind.
"You are a strong man sweetie. You are braver than you think." She whispers into his ear before stepping away.
She sits on the table where he was working, careful not to mess up the equipment Monty and Jasper were working with.
"Did you know ever since I was little, I became deathly afraid of the dark?" She tells him and he looks up in surprise. Everyone knows how she had to hide under the floor for fourteen years so for her to admit she is afraid of the darkness was a big deal.
He shook his head and she smiled to herself.
"Bellamy or my mom would always hold my hand at night. Bell would always say that I was the strongest person he knew and that I could face anything and before Clarke came into my life I would always whisper 'I am not afraid' to try and get myself through being under the floor for so long..." She tells him as she gets into the memory.
(Flashback)
It was Octavia's seventh birthday when she admitted to Clarke that she was still afraid of the dark. Being under the floors during the inspections was always tough on her because that was when she was alone in the dark the most. Clarke just started sneaking into the chancellor's office for the inspection schedules so she didn't have to go under the floor as much, but it still scared her when she did have to go.
"Being alone in the dark always made me remember that I'm not suppose to be here. That I'm not suppose to be alive. I have nightmares all the time." She cried a little and Clarke just takes her in her tiny arms and holds her so tight it almost hurt.
"Have you ever talked to your mom or Bellamy about this?" Her friend asks her softly as she rubs her back in a calming matter. Miss Aurora had to run and get some fabric from the market so it was just the two of them.
She nods.
"Bellamy always says that fears are fears and to slay them when I'm awake so they can't get me when I sleep." She tells her and waits for Clarke to tell her something different. Usually Clarke and Bellamy were very different when it came to things. Night and day actually; so Octavia liked hearing their different opinions.
Clarke pulls away a little and looks deep into her best friend's eyes.
"You're brother is right O. Face your fears here and now and nothing will be able to touch you while you sleep. Just know that no matter what, you have people fighting with you. You may not supposed to be here legally, but I need you here with me. Miss Aurora needs you and so does Bellamy. You are wanted, you are so loved, and most of all you were meant to exist! Screw the laws!" She finishes her speech and Octavia's eyes were wide, tears glistening inside.
She lauches herself at her friend and holds her tightly.
"I love you so much!" Octavia whispers and Clarke smiles.
"I love you too. Happy Birthday."
(End of Flashback)
"After that day, every time I had to go under the floor I wouldn't whisper, 'I am not afraid' I would think to myself 'I am wanted, I am loved, and I was meant to exist' Bellamy and Clarke made me strong long before I got arrested, now it's my turn to help you, my newest friend." Octavia says standing up and holding her hand out for Jasper to grab.
He looks at her and sees the strength she was talking about. If a girl like her, who only had three people caring about her, and showing her how important she was could face her biggest fear, surely a guy like him could do the same right?
He smiles and takes her hand.
Time for him to slay his demons. He was wanted, he was loved, and he was meant to live (not just exist).
XOXOX
By the time Raven woke up it was almost afternoon. She looked around at the beauty of Earth and was as mesmerized as they were when they first landed. She wanted to explore, but once she saw Finn and the others, she hurled herself at her boyfriend and held him tight.
"I made it! I found you!" She says so happy as she clung onto her boyfriend for dear life.
"Oh thank God you're okay." Finn would whisper and hold her just as tightly. He thought they would never see each other again but here she was and she was safe.
"I'm sorry to interrupt but is there anything you brought down with you?" Clarke asks splitting the two up and looking at them somewhat impatiently. She was a sucker for happy endings but right now was not the time.
Raven looks at her and resists the urge to smile. This was definitely Abby Griffin's daughter.
"You must be Clarke. And no, I was planning on bring your mother but plans changed and if I didn't leave when I did, her and me both would have been floated." She explains and hopes Abby some how made it out of there. Clarke's eyes narrow at the mention of her mother but says nothing. She walks cover to the tiny ship and looks around. There was some metal they could use and the seats but other than that, there was nothing.
Clarke looks over at them and tries to sound optimistic.
"Well we need to try and rip apart the seats and maybe there's some wires or something that can help you contact The Ark." She says to Monty who nods and goes to check the ship next.
"Wait, where my radio?" Raven asks alarmed as she sees the empty space where she had the radio.
"It looks like it was ripped off. Maybe while you were landing?" Finn says and Raven shakes her head trying to figure it out. If it came off during the landing there would have been a broken window but there was nothing.
"Bellamy." Clarke whispers to herself and looked at Monty who heard her. He looked at her confused but she just gave him a look that said she would tell him later.
"We need to find him." She says determined.
They quickly take what they can carry and run towards the nearest river, hoping they could catch Bellamy's trial.
As they walk, Raven fills them in on what's happened since they left. How someone tried to kill Chancellor Jaha and failed, how Abby broke the law to save him and was almost floated for it, how Kane is on a power trip, and the plan for her and Abby to come down here and contact the Ark to tell them Earth was survivable since everyone's bracelets didn't work anymore. Monty looked apologetic at that detail since it was his fault everyone's bracelets lost power.
"That must be how Bellamy got down here. He tried to kill the Chancellor." Monty says and they all turn and look at him, Clarke the only one unsurprising.
"We know he has a gun, and we knew that he did something to get on the drop ship. Guess he doesn't know Jaha isn't dead." He continues shrugging and continues walking.
They reach the river an hour later and see Bellamy sitting on a rock holding his head in his hands. He looked conflicted but he wasn't running away which is a good thing.
"Bellamy!" Clarke calls out and he looks up afraid before looking away quickly.
"Go away Princess, I'm not in the mood." He mutters when she gets closer to him.
"You didn't kill Chancellor Jaha." She says bluntly and he looks up at her startled.
"What?" He whispers. Yes he did, he was a killer, a monster. His mom would be ashamed of him if she knew what he's become.
"Yeah turns out you're a lousy shot. He's alive, made a full recovery." Raven interrupts and Bellamy just looks at her, not sure if he believes her.
"Bellamy you are not a killer. You did what you had to do to protect your sister, that is the man you are! Please just give us the radio and I can help you." Clarke pleas with him and his eyes go soft with sadness. She genuinely looked like she wanted to help him, no one other than his family have looked at him like that. He hated that that look was about to disappear.
He failed, just like he always did.
"You're too late." He whispers sadly.
The look never disappeared from Clarke's eyes, in fact it grew stronger.
TBC!