A/N: As promised now on weekly updates. I did mean to respond to reviews as I'm glad the chapter was a bit of a shocker and people figured it wasn't about Relena but alas, RL got in the way last week and now it's Tuesday again already. I'm going unbeta'd until the end of the fic now so please forgive any minor errors and please note they are all my own. I do try my hardest to catch everything.

Song is Room to Breathe by You Me at Six

Chapter Thirteen

Room to Breathe

"Don't," I said in warning, as the hand behind me had tried to damn stop me, reaching for my bicep.

"Duo."

The use of my name this time prompted the violence just below the surface and it took me approximately three seconds to have Wufei pinned against the corridor wall, my elbow just over his windpipe.

"You knew," I growled, my face only inches from his and his eyes were slightly wider, maybe I had managed to shock him and he'd always accused me of being so damn predictable. Always being the one who reacted too damn emotionally and here I was, doing exactly as he expected, but maybe I was more violent, maybe there was more force. Fuck, I didn't know but I pushed, hard, knowing I was cutting off his air supply.

It took me a second to stop, to realise that I shouldn't be doing this to Wufei. I could smell his sweat and the smell of stale coffee that was on his skin and shit, in this situation he wasn't the goddamn enemy but it didn't stop me from wanting to do something. Wanting to act, react or do something as it was too damn hard to just think and feel.

I released him enough to be able to breath but didn't let up my hold, as I needed, fuck I need to explode at someone.

"You coulda fucking told me – you coulda given me the heads up."

"I had to follow -"

I pushed him, again, fucking hard, as I knew the rest of the sentence. And I knew, yeah, I knew he was letting me get out some aggression after my little dramatic exit but shit, a part of me wanted him to fight back. He could punch me in the damn gut and it would feel better than I did right now.

"You had to follow orders, right? You really couldn't say that the man I fucking love is being tortured?"

"Duo - "

"No!" I shouted, pushing him again and I felt him relax into the movement and if I'd not been so flaming pissed, I'd realised he was doing that to prevent me from actually hurting him. "You don't get to Duo me, asshole! You don't get to set me up to that - to being told that they have no fucking clue, that I'm off the case, that I'm allowed psychiatric help to help me deal with this stress as if that will help how I goddamn feel!"

I'd been ready to damn scream in the room after I went back after my little journey to the bathroom to spew my guts. I'd been ready to throw a damn punch as they told me in no uncertain terms I was to step back, I was to step aside and let them deal with Roth and fuck if I was doing that. Maybe they knew that I'd tell them to go fuck themselves. Maybe that's why Wufei had made sure I was unarmed – scared that maybe I'd go loco and start blowing the place to shit. But man, I just said my piece.

"Will you arrest me if I go after him?" I'd asked.

Une had looked at me, her eyes having that look that was far more steely than her sympathetic glances she'd previously given me.

"If you break the law, then you will leave us no alternative…"

And that's when I'd slammed down my ID, taken off the jacket, thrown them onto the desk and left. And that's what led me to slamming 'Fei against a wall as I knew what he was trying to do – but I couldn't step back. I couldn't step aside.

"Have you ever fucking lost the most important thing in the damn world?" I said and even I could hear how my voice sounded. Broken. Cracking up. Damn pathetic as I asked those words.

I had before, fuck, I had lost Solo, dying in my arms and I'd lost the Church, the smell of bodies and their charred remains in my nostrils but I'd lived through them. I'd lived and grown and moved on. But I didn't know if I could lose him. The one who took my bullshit, who fought me, who fucked me, who gave me that little smile, who held my hand and asked me to damn marry him. As Heero, shit, Heero was meant to my future and fuck, if I could imagine a life without him now. And my grip was loosening, on Wufei, on my control or whatever.

"Yes," he answered, his voice low, gentle. Maybe even damn sympathetic. "I know."

And I let go, feeling myself shake a little as I took a few steps back. He touched at his neck and I realised I'd probably hurt him more than I intended and I knew he'd let me and damn, if that wasn't a sign of some fucked up friendship.

I knew we all had our pasts and I knew what he'd suffered during the war and I looked at him, at the way he clearly wanted to help me, that he wanted to and I did the thing I always did – walked away. Took the first few steps towards the elevator, stopping when he hadn't tried to grab me or any shit and I spoke softly, barely above a whisper.

"Don't follow me, 'kay? Don't get involved in this shit. I don't know what I'm gonna have to do"

I didn't meet his eyes, instead, looked at my left hand with the ring that was clenched in a damn fist and as he just stood there, I walked towards the elevator, only meeting his eye briefly as the doors slid closed.

The journey across the city was done via cab, me figuring out shit as buildings passed by and I was starting to think practically, not emotionally, as this was the only way I'd be able to get him back.

Packing up was easy, I'd barely unpacked anything from my go bag, grabbing at some dirty boxer shorts and throwing them in without care. I'd need a laptop or tablet, that much I knew, and I looked at my cell, bringing it out my pocket.

I slid my thumb over the unlock, taking a moment to look at the messages between us in the last month or so to see some dumb as fuck things. Like reminders to buy groceries. Like messages where the answer was "okay" and normal shit. As I looked, I remembered our last conversation, the one in the bathroom while I tried to drown out our words with the sound of the shower and I wanted to laugh at how damn stupid it had been and how dumb my last words to him were. I didn't think I'd need to worry about him as he was Heero, you know, always steady and strong and undefeatable. Hey, I'd only said "take care" as I couldn't get used to saying "I love you" despite getting over that hang up. And I took a second, finding myself on the bed and then swallowed, creating a new message on the screen.

I figured when they took 'Ro that he'd have his damn phone on him. As after all, he had complained like a bitch when I used to forget it at home and all, so I took a gamble. They sent the first message to Preventer as some kinda warning. Now I'd dumped the organisation and was flying solo, I needed them to contact me and me alone. As shit, I wanted to make sure it was me. As the threat had seemed fucking ominous. Break the rules and the whole earth sphere gets to see a bullet in his damn head.

I typed quick and pressed "send" – shit, it was not some essay, all I needed Roth to know was that I was game – that I'd find him. I was about to the put the phone away when I flicked again, we weren't a couple that took photographs or shit being that we weren't a couple like that, you know? But I flicked to the images I had, a few of Heero putting his hand in front of the camera and giving me a glare that said 'get that the fuck outta my face' and then finally to one where he'd not known, when he was just reading on a tablet and looking peaceful and I tried not to think too much about how he was now. That he was drugged, that he was in pain, that he was probably dying and he was probably wishing and hoping and maybe even fucking praying I didn't come for him.

Unable to look at it and see him like only did, I locked the screen and put it back in my pocket. I couldn't think like that – I couldn't think about that shit. I had to go back into mission mode. Bring out ol' Shinigami again and not think about what could be happening or what was and focus on getting the target back.

No need to let myself get sentimental. No need to think like I'd already lost him as I was going to fucking find him. As whoever the fuck was in that mask, hell, I doubted it was Roth himself, knew I could find him so it was something I could figure out. And I would get him back. I would, damn it.

The urge to get going made me throw whatever was left in the bag, checking briefly in the front pouch at my fake IDs, at the cash in different currencies and thanking fuck for my own crazy ass paranoia. There was another phone. A burner that I could use as I needed some old contacts.

I was fully packed, everything done and I swept the room with my eyes, seeing only Wufei's belongings and thought, you know, this was it again. I'd tried to become a normal individual, I'd made an attempt at a normal life but now not only was I being dragged back into action, I was being dragged back into the world of violence I'd left behind and fuck, I didn't care what I had to do – I would do what I needed to get Heero back. Kill whoever I needed to kill.

My plan was to head to Berlin, to trace the tattoo as it was the best damn clue I had and damn, it was near enough Sanc and the place he'd disappeared and central Europe to give me a base as I just needed to move my ass like fucking yesterday. I couldn't keep static, couldn't just sit and movement would help. It was a shitty plan but it was a plan nonetheless and so I would follow through on it.

I was doing one last sweep when Wufei arrived back – the sound of the door being opened jolting me due to an overabundance of adrenalin. I'd kinda anticipated he'd arrive before I left, I just had hoped he'd had to deal with his boyfriend and her highness before he sought me out and give me enough time to be gone. To be gone, buying a laptop or whatever, buying tickets to Germany and getting my ass outta the country but he'd took less time than I'd thought. Though I supposed I'd lingered, sat, looked at my damn phone – thought about those last words.

"Take care of yourself, babe."

Take care. Stupid fucking words. I looked at Wufei, tried to stare him down.

"You gotta let me go. I'll hurt you if I have to."

"You could try," he said and he returned my gaze. But then he closed the door behind him, stepping inside fully, and I scowled.

"You really want to throw punches?"

A part of me did, some physical aggression might actually help this burning feel in my stomach, the way my heart didn't feel like it fitted into my chest and how I was all pent up but he shook his head.

"I don't. I want to help you."

"Yeah, what about fucking orders?"

I knew I wasn't being fair, I wasn't being fair at all but shit if I cared.

"I'm no longer employed by the Preventer organisation. As a civilian, I can ignore them just as you can."

The words took a moment to sink in and I met those dark eyes fully. "You did what?"

Wufei approached cautiously, walking across the small space of the hotel room, bringing out his own bag from where he'd stowed it underneath the bed. "I resigned."

It was said in such a damn way that made me think we were talking about the fucking weather and I watched as he collected his belongings that were all neatly piled up and not the disordered chaos I'd created in the short time we'd been in London.

"Resigned?"

"Resigned, Maxwell, quit, handed over my badge – do you need further explanation or is it into your thick skull yet?"

I would've laughed at this if it weren't for the situation as there was nothing that amused me more when I could coax him into an annoyed rant – it just wasn't the time to mock him for his impatience and his pretty short fuse when riled.

"Why? You are fucking made for that job and you got tall and blond."

He sighed, his packing complete as I watched him, and even though he was methodical, his speed was probably quicker than my own haphazard approach to throwing stuff in a damn bag. Had to admire him for his eye for detail.

"I don't think the Preventers know how to find Yuy," he said and met my eye, "they don't know Roth. They don't know the lengths that man will go to. And I think we have to find him first."

"You're…" I started and then stumbled, "shit, you're helping me?"

'Fei nodded, zipping up the bag and walked across the room to where I was stood, my mouth slightly open, probably pulling that "huh?" expression that Heero mocked and pushed my jaw up when I did it.

His hand reached for my shoulder and I looked at it there rather than looking into his eyes. I felt something in my damn eye – I'm totally blaming lack of sleep and the shit storm of a day as there was no fucking way they were tears. As damn, I didn't do tears and I wasn't gonna do them now. As I would get 'Ro back. Home. To me and I'd marry that asshole and that was how this was all gonna work out.

"You need help. I'm here to help."

"Fuck, 'Fei," I murmured, "you know the sort of thing we might have to do, right?"

The hand on my shoulder slipped and I glanced up to see him nod. "I'm very aware," he confirmed. "And I'm aware you can't do those things alone. This time let someone help you. You won't get him back alone."

I swallowed back a million words. "Yeah but shit… Roth said just me."

"Then we'll make sure it's only you with hidden back up."

There was no strength in me to argue and I met his eye properly. In the past… hell, in the past I would've knocked poor old 'Fei out and bailed. I'd have just left without a second damn thought as I was always so sure that it was me against the world. That was me, you know, Duo Maxwell – fighter, loner, reckless idiot and this would've been another time I'd just say it was my job, my duty and no one else needed to be dragged into it. But I could only nod. I am a stubborn son of a bitch but this was one of those times even I damn capitulated. Happens damn rarely.

"Good. As Winner has sent his private jet to an airfield in Surrey and we are meant to be there within two hours."

I blinked. "Quat… knows?"

"We need his resources. His communication technology. How else are we going to trace the video link?"

I shrugged. I admit, in the knee jerk, gut wrenching, awful damn feeling of seeing the person you love being tortured made me forget the whole things I'd think of if I was thinking with a rational mind. And so I didn't think of anything beyond some crazy ass decision to hop on a plane at Heathrow and get my ass to Berlin.

Wufei came closer then and I felt like I should move back, that I should create distance, space, my emotions all over the damn place but he touched me again, this time on my jaw as he wanted me to look him in the damn eye rather than all my evasive shit and the touch felt intimate. Odd. Wrong. As it reminded me of Heero's hands on my skin and I wanted to move Wufei's hand but then there was something reassuring about his touch, about the smell of his skin and his dark eyes. I'd always admired 'Fei's calm – his strength and what he'd done – what he continued to do for me. And while we would never hug - our only intimate experiences were "shit, did we nearly kiss" moments and his lips brushing my forehead in that hospital - I felt myself gravitate towards him, my body wanting something physical.

I had to step back, turn, breathe, run my fingers through my hair and just back away from that touch as shit, I couldn't deal with someone else's hands on me, I couldn't even deal with Wufei trying to comfort me as I needed Heero. I knew he was looking at my back and I just spoke, low, quiet.

"I need to get moving."

He seemed to agree and he was collecting the last of his personal shit when my phone buzzed in my back pocket and my heart did a little skipped beat. I felt it, the little flutter that almost made me remember what it was like to have my heart feel like it was squeezing and contracting in my chest – and fuck, I raised a hand to my chest, briefly, noticing how Wufei's eyes had picked up on that instinctual movement. It was shit I couldn't help as I reached for the cell.

My message had been damn simple and so was his response. My words had been hastily typed with shaking fingers, the four words stark.

/I'm coming for you./

His answer was even more simple – coming through on a damn chain of messages between myself and Heero.

/Good./

For a second, I wanted to throw the damn thing against the wall but instead, I handed it to 'Fei who needed to see and he glanced at the messages until another buzz came through.

"There's…"

I kinda knew. I kinda expected. After all, I'd just initiated contact and they wanted me to find them, right? They had to give me some clues. Some more messages. Something so when I grabbed the cell off Wufei and pressed "play", I was more prepared than the last time, more mentally able to see Heero.

I guess Heero still wasn't playing to their damn tune as the camera was no longer static and instead, panning over his body, some kinda sick ass thing as despite the image being a little grainy and a little shitty due to the attempt at some "style", it still meant I could see better how badly he'd been hurt. And was hurting. Heero was scarred enough anyway, fuck, he didn't need any damn more. He was barely conscious again and I figured that was the only way they could contain him and I tried to stop myself gritting my teeth in anger.

Instead of making him talk, the camera panned out and I saw a masked man with a piece of paper push it flush to his abs. I winced as a nail gun was pushed against the top of the sheet and didn't look away when a groan of pain fell from Heero's lips as the "trigger" was pushed and the nail entered into his skin. The sharp feel of pain made him a little more awake as the camera focused on his face, on his closed eyes, on his grimace and I had to keep watching despite how I felt as the camera was placed in the same angle as the first video.

I could see the sheet of paper matted with some of his blood, the red seeping through it.

FIND ME. 70 HOURS AND COUNTING DOWN.

Wufei had been looking over my shoulder and I locked the phone, shoving it into my pocket and I knew my face was set in a grim line of determination, that my voice was as hard and steely as I could damn well make it.

"Let's go find him."

And 'Fei knew it was time to just follow me as only death would stop me from killing Roth and getting Heero back.