A/N: And finally the chapter that uses the song from the title... The song is Ready to Fall by Rise Against

Chapter Nineteen

Ready to Fall

I had no weapon and neither did Heero but shit, even injured Heero's body was a weapon and I saw the guy behind him bleed from a well-aimed elbow in the face and I took that moment to grab for the gun in the guy behinds me hand, he fired, two bullets going into the rooftop and I bent back the arm sharply, getting the weapon and quickly turning to aim it in his leg somewhere. It didn't matter as I had to duck, had to tackle Roth who fired his own weapon, the searing pain of the graze of a bullet on my arm.

This felt like battle, the sound of gunfire, the smell of sweat and the blood rushing in my ears. All I knew now was I needed to kill Roth, that I needed him fucking dead but as I tackled his body, as I ended up rolling on the floor with him, I knew that was gonna be harder than I thought as hands were around my throat, so tight, and I was clawing at those fingers around my neck, feeling the pressure from those digits and starting to black out.

I felt my senses dull as I lay on my back, looking up at the man who had caused me so much goddamn pain in my life. I saw his eyes, saw the way a vein bulged in his temple as he damn attempted to choke me and I thought about how Solo had looked in my arms. How I'd been a kid, how he'd been in my arms, how the blood had been on his lips, the foam of his dying rattling breaths coming from his lungs. And then I tried to move my head, tried to get some visual on Heero as I couldn't hear anything but the sound of my own blood and my heart beat rattling in my chest – ba dum, ba dum. But I couldn't as I attempted to loosen those fingers, as I attempted to claw at him in any way I could, buck up with my hips, my legs, kick out but I was weaker than usual anyway, I was too damn weak to fight him and shit, he was going to goddamn kill me.

He loosened his fingers for a second, leaned down to my cheek and I felt his hot breath on my skin and I flinched, tried to jerk away as I felt the sickness of him being in close proximity to me. I fucking hated it.

"I am going to enjoy watching you die. And this time I will not leave you until you stop breathing."

The brief respite from his damn choking me made me gasp out a breath before his hands were tight around my neck again and I tried struggling, tried it, but I felt weak, my heart beat fucked and my arm hurting and this was what I'd wanted but I'd wanted to know 'Ro was safe first and fuck if I knew. So I struggled some more, pointlessly, tried to keep my eyes looking up into his eyes as if he was going to kill me, he could see it slip from my eyes, he could watch it and I would make him.

Then there was no pressure and I figured after every fucking thing it was finally done, the shitty life full of death and violence and fighting was over. And I wouldn't hurt anyone else again by doing some dumb as fuck thing as love them. But instead of whatever the hell was next, I was feeling pain again, radiating from the damn bullet hole and my heart beat was so fucking loud and I was definitely alive and looking up into a grey sky as I guessed dying – dying was probably less painful than living.

I turned my head, feeling the small bits of stone or whatever shit that lined the roof dug into my face and I saw then what had stopped Roth. There were none of his men on the roof standing, all incapacitated and I had no time to see if they were dead or just injured. The guys I'd taken down were bleeding steadily and I looked up to see Heero fighting Roth.

There was a moment I tried to move but every part of me felt like a dead weight so I found myself watching as my dumb body gave up. I saw Heero punch, I saw Roth return it and I saw Heero's strength was not all it usually was as his punches, while effective, were nothing like when he'd slammed his fist into my stomach or my face. And Roth's punches were destabilising him, shit I'd never seen happen to him, and they hit him. Which again, was shit I'd never seen as 'Ro could block. Man, could he block and now his reaction times were slow and I could tell he was weak.

I rolled, getting to my hands and knees to push myself up as I grabbed for a weapon, any damn gun and looked up to see the punches had stopped and Heero was wrestling with the dude, his hands around his neck, his knee trying to connect with his groin. Heero usually fought with this kinda grace, I guess, this kinda style and he had none of it. He was brawling like I would, no flair, no artistry, just doing whatever he could do to hurt his opponent.

My fingers clasped around a handgun, not my own and I shakily got to my feet, feeling the breeze of being up high, ruffling my hair and making me shiver as I raised the weapon. Which I couldn't fucking shoot as they were too damn close. Hey, I'm a fucking amazing shot but my vision was still a little blurry, my senses not all working that damn amazingly and I sure as fuck was not going to fire when I could accidentally get Heero. I didn't want to shoot him. Not this time.

"'Ro!" I shouted, my voice weak from where I'd been choked for however damn long and he looked, his blue eyes meeting mine and he figured out what I damn well wanted. That he wanted me to get Roth within a position where I could shoot his ass. But I was a distraction. Always had been.

I thought about the war – about those first fucks, me riding him and taking control, as I was a liability, his weakness, his distraction and shit, right now I was again. I was always the thing that put him danger. That got him killed. I thought of his rescue after my capture. I thought of everything as I watched Roth use his moment of distraction to gain some leverage, some advantage.

And I watched in fucking horror as they wrestled together, as Roth pushed him to the edge of the building, and I knew what the goddamn fucker was trying to do and I ran, or tried to, my limbs not working or time going funny or something as I watched Heero lose footing, as I saw him stumble, as I saw him grab for Roth. As I saw him fucking fall.

My heart stopped. My mouth opened and I shouted his name. It was like watching his self-destruct but a million times worse as I loved him now. I loved him so fucking much.

My reactions were slow but I was moving, moving as I saw Roth pulled with him, as I got to the edge to look down and see… Shit, I did not want to see as maybe he'd been able to survive a fall from a high rise as a genetically enhanced teenager but he was wounded, injured, been tortured and J was long since dead. Fuck if he'd survive. And there was no hill to roll down, no chute to pull even at the last minute, there was only hard concrete.

I got to the edge, looked down and met his blue eyes, could see where his fingers were gripping a ridge in the building within arm's reach of the edge, his knuckles white from the pressure and I saw further down, that Roth had hold of his leg. His face was set in a grim line of determination and I reached over, offering my hand to help.

"No," Heero said, his mouth moving and I couldn't figure out why he said no.

"I'm not letting you fall, asshole," was my quick retort. As fuck, there was gonna be no stupid shit and I leaned over the edge, my legs anchoring and my hand trying to grab him. "Hold my hand."

"We're too heavy, I can't let go."

I growled, looking down to see where Roth was clinging on to Heero and fuck, I knew that in his condition Heero couldn't hold both of them up for long. But then neither could I. And Heero would have to take all that damn weight on one hand to get hold of mine. I didn't think I could do it and Heero knew I couldn't – I could see the calculations spinning around his head and fuck, I was not gonna let him fall.

"No, don't you goddamn dare let go!"

He met my eye. "I can't hold on."

"Kick the fucker, I'll get you."

I didn't know if this would work but I was damned if I was gonna let him go without a fight, I grabbed hold of his wrist, trying to give him extra support and he kicked out, the gesture causing Roth to make a shout but not loosen his grip.

"Do it again, I got you."

It was the most soothing damn way I could say it and 'Ro kicked out, the movement making him go further away from the wall and with the momentum, Roth fell. But I couldn't goddamn celebrate him falling, screaming out as he did, thudding to the concrete underneath as Heero had let go of the ledge with the one hand that had been gripping on and I now was the only thing that was stopping him from joining Roth on the ground.

Or my hand around his wrist. And fuck, he was all muscle and I bet I could barely hold him when I was at full fucking strength but now… shit now there was no chance of me keeping hold.

"Give me your other hand. I can't fuckin' hold you like this."

He didn't and I felt his wrist slip a little as I tried to keep hold, as I damn tried to hold onto the edge, as I tried to keep my legs anchored to the sides so I didn't go falling down with him.

"Let go."

"No."

"You can't pull me up and you'll fall too."

I made a noise low in my throat that sounded damn dangerous. "I love you, asshole. I'm not letting go."

I felt him shift and I knew I couldn't hold him much longer and shit…

"Duo," he said and I tried not to damn scream or something, "let me go."

Fuck, I was losing my grip on him but I was not letting go. As he was the best fucking thing that had ever damned happen to me and I would never fucking let him fall but my palms were sweaty and shit, I couldn't physically hold him much longer. The pain in my chest was palpalble. The pain from where the bullet grazed and I couldn't damn keep my grip on him.

"I love you," he said and I closed my eyes for a second, not able to meet his deep blues as I couldn't imagine my fucking life without him now. The ring around my finger felt like a goddamn noose and I was not gonna be able to just move on from him.

He slipped again and my heart rapid beats were hammering in my ears and I fucking couldn't do anything. Another moment of someone I love dying without any way of stopping it.

And then I knew I'd let go. That I couldn't hold on. My arms shaking, my body unable to pull him up and I groaned loud, in pain, in fucking anguish as shit… he was going to fall.

But then there was another pair of hands, someone else for Heero to grip onto and I found myself falling not forward to the cold hard asphalt but back onto the roof top.

It took a moment to figure everything out as Wufei hauled Heero up, both of them falling beside me and it took me a few seconds to launch myself at Heero with whatever strength I had left. Which was so fucking little. Wufei moved back, getting to his feet and I saw him from the corner of my eye make some kinda contact on a cell or tablet or something but fuck if I cared as I felt Heero for the first time since the whole goddamn nightmare started.

He smelt of sweat and blood and gunshot residue. He smelt like Heero and all I could do was touch him, kiss any spot I could damn get to and fuck, he responded, with less enthusiasm but he responded. And when our lips met, it was rushed and gentle and a million different things and it was too fucking intense. I backed off, my heart too big in my chest and I looked at him, at how he was damn tired, wounded, hurt, and I ran my hand to the side of his face where a cut had marred his skin, some sadistic asshole with a blade and I felt the dirt and sweat and blood on my fingertips.

"I was never gonna let you fall, Heero."

He didn't respond, instead, he wrapped a hand around me, found the base of my braid and pulled me towards him, the kiss his answer and I fucking melted into him.

As shit, it was over and he was alive. And I was alive. And despite the mess we were both in, we both had each other and fuck, I never wanted anything else in my life.