"He's missing?"
"He can't be gone we was just here three days ago!"
"He's away on a business trip!"
They all imploded. Everyone talked at once and over each other. Panic struck their bones, Oliver's radio silence over the last few days meeting an explanation.
"What do you mean he's missing?" Felicity asked, her eyes darting from face to face. Officer Adams stepped further into the room, taking his cap off, starting to explain.
"Mr. Queen— Oliver— was at a yacht for some private business meeting. Various people, about 50 to 70. There was a storm, strong winds, strong currents, and the yacht capsized. Only a few survivors have been accounted for, sadly Mr. Queen was not one of them."
"Is he dead?"
"No body has been found and no survivors have verified that he is dead. For now he's missing until either one of the two circumstances arise. I'm sorry."
The two officers scuffled quickly out of the room and out of sight. The silence rang in their ears, the sharp piercing noise breaking them down one by one. Oliver stopped updating John just a day before Felicity woke up and two days after he left hurriedly after seeing something in the picture John presented to them. He offered no explanation, just a promise— he'll be back.
But he wasn't back, he isn't back, and they're not sure if he ever will come back.
Shock. Felicity was in shock. Her heart skipped a few beat, the monitor to her right indicating that she wasn't just hallucinating her heart literally breaking. This couldn't be real. This was still a dream. She was still in the ocean and she hasn't really woken up right? He lower lips started quivering, the tears prickling her eyes.
"I- I have to go," Laurel whispered, her voice taken by the wind. She passed a knowing look to John, John nodding in agreement from their silent exchange.
"Laurel?"
"Yes Felicity?"
"I'm sorry about Oliver," he voice broke as tears streamed down her face.
"I'm sorry about your loss too Felicity."
She knows. Of course she knows. But right now Felicity could care less that her best friend's wife knows that she's in love with her husband. She should care, but she doesn't. She couldn't care about anything. She couldn't think about anything. All that settled in her body was the numbness from the cold that pierced her being when Officer Adams announced that Oliver was missing.
"I felt it. When I woke up. I felt it. It was so cold. I was so cold. When you wake up from a coma that's not what you should feel, right? But it was what I felt. It was just so cold. And it is so cold. Oliv- Ol-," she choked unable to get his name fully out. She resigned her efforts to speak, the tears now violently flowing from her eyes. In the corner John was immobile, shocked evident across his face. Tommy was propped up against the wall also unable to move.
Everything was just dull. Numb.
The time rolled away, the darkness chasing the sun away as night settled as the city lights illuminated the sky, instead of the sun. They stayed like that until God knows when.
*5 Years Ago*
"So I'm going to see you this Thursday right?"
"Yep, that's Thanksgiving day," Felicity checked the calendar that hung up in her dorm. She circled the date with a red sharpie both a reminder and a goal that she will finally see Oliver after months of being apart.
"I really miss you."
"I really miss you too."
"This sucks."
"I know. But we can get through it right?"
"Absolutely." A sad smile crept though her face. For once she was thankful that Oliver was on the phone instead of a video chat. She didn't want him knowing truly how homesick she was.
"Felicity, what's wrong?"
Everything, she wanted to say. She was alone in a new city, at a new school, she barely made any friends, her work load was more than she can handle, but what takes the cake is the news bomb her dad emailed earlier in the day: her family was going bankrupt. The prospect wasn't good. Of course in business there's always that possibility of going under, but this was entirely different.
"Nothing."
"Felicity-" Oliver started to admonish.
"Really, it's nothing. I just miss you."
"Just a few more days."
"Yeah."
She did want to see Oliver, but she didn't want to go home to see him. She didn't want to see her family. She didn't want to see her family go through all financial troubles because then it makes it real.
"Hey Oliver? I have to go. I need to finish the paper and this coding project. I'll see you soon."
"Alright. Hey Felicity?"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
They didn't know it then but it would be one of their last better goodbyes.
Thanksgiving rolled in faster than Felicity could say 'oh frak'. She was dreading it, having to put on a front, put on a smile, but what she dreaded the most is hiding the truth to the one person she loved the most.
Oliver was staring. He's been staring since she arrived at the Queen mansion for their Thanksgiving dinner. She tried to keep her eyes away from his in fear that they would reveal too much, focusing on the food in front of her instead.
"Moira, thank you for hosting the dinner this year."
"Of course Donna. You know that we all take turns with these things," Moira smiled.
"Yes but then you have to host the Christmas party as well. You know, us being Jewish and all."
"I don't mind that at all. You know how us Queens love throwing the Christmas party."
"You do it well," Donna smile genuinely.
Felicity felt her stomach churn. How could her mom seriously just smile amidst what they were going through? Well, she had been around longer than Felicity had in the Starling City elite scene and could possibly smile her way through whatever storm brews in the inside.
It wasn't even the materialistic things that Felicity was most scared to lose, or the fame, or the money. It was Oliver. How would he see her after all this? Her family? Of course, Oliver was a better person than judging her by the amount her family had in the bank accounts, but what if finds out that her had been betraying his father all this while?
She didn't know the entire truth but after the email her mom had sent her about their family's financial crisis, Felicity investigated, more like hack, her way through her father's accounts, records, and funds. More times than once did she find the embezzlement of money from his account to an offshore in the Cayman's. Of course it would be in the Cayman's, Felicity thought when she'd discover his dirty little secrets. She pried more only to discover that those accounts were in the name of Adam Hunt, and if she wasn't mistaken Adam Hunt had been a pseudonym her father, Oliver's Father, and Tommy's father once used to keep the host of their biggest gala anonymous. The pits of her stomach sank along with her heart at the revelation.
And once the truth started to unfold did she unravel. How in the earth could she ever face Oliver with all this… shame? How can she look at the man that she loved and tell him that what he'd learn too was a sham?
She couldn't.
And she isn't.
Instead she was here in his house, at Thanksgiving, pushing food around her plate. The irony of the day being Thanksgiving almost made her scoff. Thankful for what? Her lying, scheming father? Instead she swallowed it down with a choke. Oliver's hand flew to her back, stroking it back and forth, his brows furrowed in concern.
"Felicity, you okay honey?" her mom asked from across the table. She gave Felicity a sharp look, one that said Dare to even act a little out of line, Felicity, so help me god…
"Yeah I'm fine," she forced a smile.
"Good," her mom smiled in return, as the one she'd given Moira moments earlier.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Oliver whispered in her ear after everyone paid their attention back to their plates.
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Okay."
He took the hand that was on her her back and calmly rested it on her knee, his thumb stroking her leg. He used his other hand to pick his fork back up to eat. Felicity looked up at him taking in every feature of his face, the defined edges of his jaw yet to be covered by a beard, his little dimple that keeps popping up whenever he chewed his food, his slightly crooked nose because of that time a bat hit his face when they were just kids. So many memories they shared with another and for a moment Felicity forced the future away, focusing on their past.
"I love you, Oliver."
Her declaration took him off guard. Sure they have said it to each other before but it always felt new every time they said it to one another.
"I love you too Felicity."
They stared at each other, the background noise and people floating away in a blur. Oliver made a subtle movement that allowed the light to hit face just right and it illuminated ever feature of his face. Felicity's breath caught. If she could capture any moment, it would be this. She kept it engrained in her mind, tattooed on her heart. She'd never forget him here, at this moment.
Just as she'd thought she could find the strength to make it past through the storm brewing, the doors of the Queen's mansion flew open with a loud bang. Police came through the threshold, guns drawn.
"EXCUSE ME! What are you doing?!" Robert boomed, shooting up from where he sat.
"Noah Smoak! You are under arrest for embezzlement, extortion, and fraud. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you can and will be used against you in the court of law.."
"YOU CAN'T DO THIS! HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! HE WAS SET UP!" Donna screamed trying to pry the officer's hands from handcuffing Noah.
"We got him," radioed one officer. "How's the raid for Malcolm Merlyn?"
"We got him also," the gravely voice on the other end of the line stated triumphantly.
"Alright, we're on the way to the precinct."
Felicity stayed glued to her seat, shock rendering her immobile. Tears flew violently down her cheeks, her hands gripping the edges of the chair to keep her steady.
She watched the scene unfold in front of her like a haze. Everything went so fast yet it panned like a slow motion movie. The screams pierced her ears to a cumulative high pitched screech. The contents of her stomach dared to make its way back up. She did the only thing she could do: She ran.
She ran fast.
She ran out of the room to the nearest bathroom, heaving, gagging and crying.
Oliver tried to run after her, only to be stopped by the hands that grasped his arm.
His father peered down at him. "Let her be, Oliver."
Oliver could blame it on the commotion or the screaming, or the fuckfest that was happening, but he knew he wasn't mistaken— he saw a glint in his father's eye. An unnerving gleam of triumph, one that shrewd I won.
Oliver shook his arm out of his father's grasp, matching his glare. He didn't say anything. He doesn't have anything to say. But there was one thing Oliver knew beyond anything that was said, his father was behind this.
Felicity was discharged from the hospital a week after she woke up from her coma. John took her home and made sure she was safe with the security he hired.
Days dragged on. All she did was sit on her couch, waiting for someone to ring her doorbell to tell her he was alive or dead. Some days she'd desperately just wanted an answer, even if it meant the latter. At least she'll know. At least maybe then she can start to heal.
But no one ever did ring her doorbell.
Occasionally Tommy would drop by, but not as often as he did before. She understood. Everyone coped with loss different ways. Everyone picks up different pieces of what was shatter of them. Tommy and Laurel spent a lot of time together. They always seemed like they were running off to something important. And the times that the three of them were around each other, Laurel and Tommy always spoke to each other in whispers. Whispers about what? Felicity didn't know. They didn't tell her anything. At the times they would talk it was almost always to check up on her, on each other. Then they'd tell her, "Hold on."
The weirdness of Laurel telling her to 'hold on' was not lost on Felicity. Her best friend's wife, the same best friend who she'd never stopped loving, telling her to 'hold on'… huh. She'd tell her the same thing except it was obvious that Laurel was doing better than she was. Maybe it was because she kept busy. Maybe it was because she fronted. Felicity didn't know. But one thing she did know: Laurel knew Felicity still loved Oliver.
And she was okay with it.
Weird times ten.
But Felicity didn't dare to talk about it. There was nothing to talk about. He was still gone.
April
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May
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June
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July
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August
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September
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October
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November
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December
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January
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February
It wasn't the doorbell that rang. In fact, nothing rang or knocked. It came in the habitual form of turning on the television while she made her morning coffee.
"Breaking news! Survivors had been found from the yacht that capsized almost one year ago. Starling City Central News will update you as the story unfolds. So far the survivors are receiving medical inspection and have not yet been identified. On board the yacht were few notable names including Hank Mardied, Wile Solands, Breton Reque, Adam Hunt, and Oliver Queen."
"Holy shit."