Some hurt/comfort in this one. The other chapters were a little light so, I figured I'd try my best to make a few of you cry. I'm an awful human being.
Chapter 16
"From now on, I have other duties to attend to," Spock says evenly. "I trust you two will continue to work as efficiently in my absence?"
"Sure." Meira shrugs disinterestedly. "We'll be fine."
Spock analyzed her answer for a moment and then looks at Khan for confirmation.
"As she said," Khan says. "I trust you will give the Captain my best?" He can't help adding at the end. Spock had yet to forgive Khan for technically killing his dear friend, and Khan loved to throw it back in the man's face so that he could watch as a flicker of rage would take over the otherwise composed features.
Spock's cool composure drops, but only for an instant. With a glare, the Vulcan leaves the room quickly. For someone who felt something, he sure was emotional.
"You might want to be careful. He might just try to gut you one day." Meira warns him.
"Nothing would please me better than to see him try."
"So…what are we doing now?" Meira asks and Khan thinks for a moment.
"Technically, science is not limited to virology. I say we try out a new subject and leave creation vaccinations to the medical staff."
"And what do you have in mind?"
"Have you ever created a bomb before?" Khan says raising an eyebrow.
"What?" Shock ignites her features and Khan smiles triumphantly.
"You heard me," He purrs and a warm spark of satisfaction floods his chest at her obvious disbelief.
They would create low caliber bomb, nothing fancy. After all, they were aiding in…Star Ship defense. Yeah, that could work. So long as they were careful, neither the Captain or his Vulcan lap dog need ever find out about it. And he knew the perfect place to watch the explosion.
…
"And this," Khan explains, "Is the detonator. Understand?"
"Yep. But why did we make a—"
"Research purposes," He cuts her off quickly.
"But what does have to do with—"
"Come." He orders, picking up their makeshift explosion.
"Where are you going?"
"We are going to test our work." He answers simply.
"And kill everybody on board?" Her incredulous whisper follows him.
"Just a few red shirts. No one important." He jokes with a straight face.
"Wonderful," she sighs but marches after him nevertheless. "You were joking, right? Everyone is going to be okay?"
"I suppose that we will find out, now won't we?"
"That's a crappy answer," She complains.
"Oh, stop your whining. We're nearly there."
They walk into a large, empty metal room and Khan looks around. Yes, this would do nicely.
"Ready?" Khan asks.
"Depends, are we going to die?"
Khan chuckles at her question: "No."
"Alrighty, then. Light it up, I guess." She concedes.
The explosion was marvelous. It was about five feet tall, four feet wide. It had set off the smoke detectors, drenching them—and everyone else on board—in flame retardant foam. But, oh, it had been worth it. Even the inevitable lecture from the precious Captain couldn't take away the swell of satisfaction Khan had gotten from finally blowing something up. To his surprise, Meira had also seemed to enjoy the experience.
Only now, they were banned from any circumstances to detonate anything within the ship.
Oh, well. There would be other things Khan could do to keep his mind busy, he was sure.
…
It was the anniversary of the day Spock forced Khan to believe that his crew had exploded on the Vengeance. Angrily, Khan goes to the cafeteria to get his meal whereas Meira scurries to their dorm to hide from the ensuing fallout that was sure to come.
"So." Khan slams his tray down on the table in front of Spock and sits down in front of the Vulcan. "How long exactly was your Captain dead before he was able to be revived? An hour? A day?"
"Whatever it is you plan on accomplishing, I will not be goaded into another fight, Mr. Singh." Spock says in a tight, clipped tone.
"What was it like to watch you friend die, Mr. Spock?" Khan growls mercilessly. "How did it feel to finally come face to face with emotions or the realization that someone could rip apart one of the few things you truly cared about?"
"I apologize for my deceiving you about you people's death but at the time, it was a necessary action to ensure the survival of the Enterprises crew." Spock's composure begins to crumble slowly. He was close, Khan knew, to combusting just like the bomb from earlier.
And yet, Khan thinks. I still want you to pay.
Dearly.
"Perhaps," Khan says softly as he leans in close in an attempt to intimidate the other. "But you will never be forgiven, and if you had not captured me, you would have never seen your precious little friend again, now would you?"
He wants nothing more than to punch the man and to keep punching until Spock felt as broken as he was feeling and he wasn't even sure why he was feeling this way: frustrated, alone, enraged. It had festered all morning, at the back of his mind, before boiling over at dinner. And here he was, contemplating homicide in the nearly empty cafeteria.
But it just wasn't fair! Kirk had been the one to betray me, but it was my family that took the punishment. Kirk lived, being hailed as a hero whereas my crew is still trapped in Cryosleep…at the mercy of monsters.
Spock wisely says nothing. His silence was probably the only thing that saved his life.
"Had it been up to me, you all would have perished that day. Starting with the Marcus's and your dear Captain." Khan rises and stalks away angrily. He had not eaten a single bite.
That night, he broods after taking his shower.
"Bad day?" Meira asks.
"What ever gave you that idea?" Khan stalks over to the replicator and replicates some rice to eat.
Meira raises an eyebrow at him but to her credit, she doesn't question him about it.
"It wasn't your fault," She says after a while and Khan freezes mid-chew.
"What makes you think I blame myself?" Khan snaps angrily.
He clenches the bowl so hard, it shatters in his hands, sending rice and porcelain all over the floor. His palm is cut and bleeding, the droplets looking like scarlet rose petals. Khan wasn't even aware that Meira had moved. One minute she was sitting on her bed, the next she was pressing a towel onto his wounded hands and holding the pressure.
"Because I know that look." Her answer is barely audible.
A single tear slips down his face and is quickly followed by another. Then another.
Then, he's shuddering and gasping for breath as the sorrow takes hold. He falls back against his bed and clutches Meira to his chest like a lifeline. She tenses every muscle in her body but makes no move to get away.
"It's alright," She whispers. "It wasn't your fault. It's not your fault…"
…
The night hides his shame. Meira is sleeping in her own bed and Khan curses himself at showing weakness.
Tears. Tears were for weaklings. For beings that didn't deserve to live. Khan was a warrior, a killer, a monster. He didn't cry.
But he had.
Because, no matter how strong or cruel he was, he was just as weak a human. No matter what he did, his heart always betrayed him.
"If you start sniveling, I will end you," Meira threatens sleepily and despite the turmoil within, he feels himself smirk.
"Try it."
Well, at least this chapter had a happy-ish ending, right?