I awoke to a soft, yellow light. But everything else was white. White walls, white ceilings, white bed, white side table, even the clothes I'm wearing. Part of the wall rose up and someone walked in. A girl with black hair came over to me with a tray. I didn't notice her before. It must be another Avox. I didn't recognize her. I don't even remember her. She came over to me with a bowl of food, orange juice, and buttered toast. This is something I'd have for breakfast as the Avox sat me up and handed me my food. She left me to eat my food.
Once the food hit my lips, I'm no longer in the Capitol. I'm back in District 8. I'm eating breakfast with Aidan, Indira, and Micah. The Capitol made the food taste just like home. Not too fancy, but home-like. How fitting. I will be going home in a few days. The last bit of orange juice goes down my throat when a Capitol doctor came in.
"Ah, you're awake!" The Doctor said happily.
I saw a very tanned man with shiny skin approaching, his wrinkle-less face making him look younger than he probably was. He wore a long white coat and had a computer tablet in his hand.
"Well Miss Dyne you've had quite the ordeal. But first, a congratulations is in order," The Doctor said cheerily.
I looked at my leg where Lucian cut me but it was gone not even a scar. I looked at my arms and my shoulder, but there weren't any scars. The Hunger Games had left no physical wound on my body of course, but emotionally, well that's a whole other matter. Cecelia and Woof entered the room and the Doctor left to give us privacy.
"How are you?" Cecelia asked.
"Scared, on edge, worried, paranoid, sick, confused, and guilty," I listed sighing.
"That's not unusual," Woof replied sadly.
"Your prep team will be here soon," Cecelia stated.
Cecelia and Woof stayed until Valeria came. They tried to make conversation, but my mind was elsewhere. Maybe when I got home things may be better. Valeria came in and led me to the elevator that led me to the lobby of the training center. I jumped and froze as my prep team lunged for me, hugging me tightly.
"Oh you were absolutely amazing!" Fannia screeched, "Oh darling look at your hair!" She immediately ran her fingers through it.
"I'll be back Paige, I need to get something," Valeria announced, and squeezed my hand before leaving.
Ceil started doing my nails and Sagitarria started applying my make-up. The brush fluttered across my cheeks as they talk about how marvelous the Games were. Fannia combed my hair and trimmed my hair evenly, plucked my eyebrows, and shaved my body hair that grew during the Games. Then she styled my hair in a half up half down style.
"Yes, watching 23 other tributes die and nearly dying myself has been the highlight of my year," I thought.
This continued for an hour when I felt completely plastic, the fake that the Capitol so longed to see. I was given a bathrobe and Fannia, chirped out, "We have a huge feast for you before you are dressed. Enjoy; compliments of the Capitol of course!"
An Avox brought in a cart with too many platters to count and stood by the door. I realized the small breakfast that I had earlier was nowhere near as filling as the food in front of me. I began digging into the food in front of me, I left no plate untouched. In the back of my mind, I was somewhat disgusted with myself, but shrugged it off and continued eating.
Soon enough, the food was gone and I sat there staring blankly at the wall, the Games playing over in my head without truly thinking about. My thoughts left me as the reel played. I fell within myself and couldn't attempt to think how long I spent like this.
Finally, Valeria returned to the room, "Remember when I told you I had a dress waiting for you when you come back?" Valeria asked.
I think back to the day when Valeria said that. It seemed so long ago.
"Yes," I replied.
"Well here it is," Valeria said, bringing pale blue dress with embellishments at the top.
The eyes of a murderer looked up to the heavenly dress and I forced a smile on my face, giving it the appearance of being genuine. I lifted myself gracefully into the gown and practiced my smile more. Valeria put earrings on and my low pump shoes. The last thing she put on is my necklace. I almost forgot I had it with me during the Games. Valeria helped me to the mirror and I looked at the mirror and looked at myself.
I looked like a whole another person and not in a good way. I am skinnier than I was before, my eyes don't sparkle like they used to, my eyes have dark circles under them, but you can't see it because of the make up. I held myself with poise and elegance as I taken down to a room below the stage for the interviews. My heels clicked lightly on the floor as my dress just barely skimmed the ground and I prepared myself for the interview I was awaiting. My prep team left and Woof came in.
"Nervous?" he asked.
"A little," I admitted, gripping my hands tightly.
"You did great so far," Woof said, as he hugged me.
Then his voice became more urgent, "But be careful what you say and do from now on. You cared too much in there, and you must never ever repeat the word rebellion. Do you understand me?" Woof said deadly serious, and I nodded my head vigorously. "Just be careful," Woof said, and he pulled away.
He squeezed my hands and left. I'm left alone to mull over what he just told me. Then the anthem began to play. I heard the crowd cheer as my prep team, stylist, escort, and mentors came on stage. I played with my finger nails as I allowed only two shaky breaths, before breathing in deep and relaxed. Then the platform I am standing on began to rise. The lights blinded my eyes for a moment. As I came into view of the crowd, they go berserk, cheering louder than ever.
The roaring of the crowds had me a little taken back. I had barely seen anyone in one week and now there were crowds waiting for me. I was the victor. I allowed a fake light laugh out as I fully rose onto the stage, the entire crowd going wild over my appearance, Valeria's dress surely a hit. I waved at them keeping everything about me dainty and honeyed, even blowing them a kiss.
"Ladies and Gentleman, what we have all been waiting for. The Victor of this year's Hunger Games! Paige Dyne, of District 8!" Caesar yelled with excitement.
Caesar was testing out a pastel green hair color and his classic midnight blue suit that sparkled like the night sky and he began laughing as well. I walked towards Caesar and held out his hand to me. Lightly, I took it, only to feel myself twirled around. My own laughter filled the air once more and I smiled wider. His wide, white teeth, grinned and sparkled with happiness. His comfort managed to keep a smile on my face, for the crowd and for myself. When I took a seat and the cheering died down, Caesar started off with his greetings.
"Paige, I haven't seen you in a while, how has it been?" He asked, even though I think it is a joke.
I took this opportunity to lay one hand on my collarbone as if touched and muster the most grateful look I could while keeping up my smile.
"Well it is wonderful to be back in the Capitol, Caesar! I am so grateful that I had this opportunity to return and share my victory with all of these wonderful ladies and gentleman!" I cheered with fake enthusiasm and the crowd cheered loudly. "The Games were kind of a roller coaster, as you can guess since it was televised around the country," Everybody laughed at my response.
"Okay you got me there. Now, when you were on that pedestal, what did you feel?" He asked me, taking my hand with his as if he was safe guarding me from the rest of the world and his eyes twinkled with curiosity.
I wondered if his personality was all a charade as well. If it was, he was easily the best actor that I had ever met.
"I felt scared, because there was a major chance of me dying in the next 24 hours," The crowd doesn't laugh, they just listened on my every word. "Yet, once I got into the Arena I simply let my instincts take over and it did me well. Now, I couldn't be happier because of it!"
"Now, we all remember the moment when you got the first kill. It was so unexpected, so spontaneous, so fabulous!" He made a small yell of excitement before looking back at me seriously, "And what was that like?" Caesar questioned.
I racked my brain for the best response I could come up with. Finally, I took a breath in and returned. "It was exhilarating. I didn't know I had it in me. It did allow me some reassurance to know that I could defend myself though and I had just as much of a chance as the others. I suppose more of a chance since I'm here," I answered, lying through my teeth and Caesar chuckled.
"How about when you won the Games?" He asked me, watching me like a statue.
"I felt shocked that I beat the odds. I felt sad for the deaths that were because of me. And I felt relieved, that it was finally over, and I could go back home to my family," Caesar and the crowd nodded.
He purposely skipped over the incident with the Cornucopia.
"Now, because of the beauty of technology, we have the recap of the Games for you to watch," I nodded as the lights dimmed and the recap began.
The highlights started with the bloodbath. I know they will show my reaction once in awhile, so I try to keep my face straight. But the more I see, the harder it gets, and I know that I look shocked, even appalled. A clip of the Careers' argument when they were fighting over who would kill me while was hiding inside the hollow tree right at their feet. To when Nina and I set a trap for Ruby and Kai, and Ruby being stabbed by the Stabberjay. It moved on to when I was running from the Mutts in the fog where Tera threw me her back pack and eventually died. It then jumped to when I was saying goodbye to Ryler and then when I viciously killed Vika, my first kill.
They showed me fighting Merona and me plunging the knife into her heart, to when Bran and I held Sage till she died. After that they showed Nina dropping dead from Lucian's spear. And from there, they showed when Zelda was torturing me until Bran started choking her and I delivered the killing blow. After that, they skipped to when Bran had his skull crushed by Kai, instantly killing him.
Then it finally showed me throwing my knife at Lucian's throat, declaring me victor of the 67th Hunger Games. Everything that happened in the Games kept came back. The video ended and the crowd cheered and clapped wildly.
I'm left in a stunned silence.
Somehow, that counts as entertainment. Twenty three children dying. That's meant to be fun, is it? That's something to be applauded? I gripped tightly onto the seat of my chair. Sadness and anger filled me. Sadness for my lost allies, anger towards the monsters in the Capitol that are cheering my name.
"You had a kill count of 5, three from different Districts and two from the same District. I think we were all saddened when you held Ryler in his last moments," He said clamping my hands, trying to comfort me.
"It broke my heart to watch him die in front of me, but I made up for it by winning, just like I promised him," I answered.
Caesar looked at me sadly, "Well, we all felt pretty emotional when you didn't get to say your goodbyes to poor Bran. What was it like losing your last ally?"
Damn, I wish he wouldn't ask me so many questions about my allies...my friends. I had already watched them die again tonight.
"I felt so alone. I knew I had to face the last part of the Games without him and that scared me. I trusted him...it sounds silly because we eventually had to kill each other. He's the only reason why I'm sitting here," The crowd shook their heads, sniffing sadly at my story.
"Well, before we wrap things up, you need to go get your Victory Crown from President Snow," He was about to tell me where to get it, when President Snow, instead, emerged from the curtains and walked towards me and my body froze.
It forced a shudder down my spine. Yet, the crowd didn't see things the way I did and they cheered louder than ever, giving him a standing ovation and yelling various declarations of adoration.
He calmly spoke, a sense of control pervading his voice, "I think she had enough heartache for a lifetime, let's just do it right here right now and let her go back home to her family," He said, as a butler emerged from behind him with a box.
He walked toward me, then staring directly into my eyes. His frost blue ones pierced my own brown and I nearly lost it there, but kept my back straight. I became rather rigid as he walked towards me with the crown in hand. As I noticed it though, I tried to relax and return to my persona, succeeding only slightly.
Then a distinct smell hit my nose, first an effrontery of roses, sweet smelling and strong, but it was covering up something much sharper, much more metallic. It was then I realized what it was...blood. The odor was unmistakable, I myself being covered in it the past few weeks. Snow opened the box and retrieved the crown, it was intricate crown of gold and platinum metals. He held it carefully in his hands, and placed it on my head, like as if I was a princess. When he was done putting the crown on my head, he kissed me on the cheek. His snake eyes looked at me as if I'm poisonous.
''Congratulations, Miss Dyne," He said.
''Thank you,'' I said softly.
"I look forward to having you serve the Capitol after your victory," Snow whispered.
I felt my entire body go stiff. From there, my eyes became sharp and my hands began clenching when I stopped myself, the entirety of Panem watching as I stood there and truly become a Victor. I put on a smile; feeling more forced, but kept it up.
I watched as President Snow turned around and merely opened his arm towards me, signaling for all eyes on me then goes to the back of the stage. This was it; this was the last chance I had to capture the heart of the Capitol. I beamed, my eyes crinkling as I forced my posture soft once more. I soaked up the moment and kept my thankful stance.
"And that is the end of the 67th Hunger Games with Paige Dyne from District 8 as our tribute! Join us in December for the Victory Tour and until next time, my lovely Capitolites!" Caesar exclaimed.
A fanfare played as the screen flashed once more with my face and the number 67 on it.
"Paige Dyne everybody! Victor of this year's Hunger Games!" Caesar shouted again, as I left the stage behind and sat down.
I found a chair and sat down, at least that was what I wanted to do, but I fell asleep. Letting my mind wonder in my endless amount of thoughts, I started on a journey in the land of dreams, which is now called nightmares. Nobody decent ever wins the Games, they only survive.
And that is what I did, survived.
The next day I was arranged for our trip home. Cecelia entered my room and looked paler than I remembered.
"The President's assistant is here to take you to the President's Mansion," Cecelia whispered.
My face blanched and I walked out of my room to see a woman who must be the President's Snow assistant.
"The President has called to see you, just a congratulatory procedure for our popular victors. If you'll come with me please," The woman explained.
This definitely isn't good. I nodded my head and went down in the elevator with them then into a car. My legs shook with fear as I walked up to President Snow's office door. I knocked slowly three times.
"Come in," his cold voice called.
I took a deep breath and opened the door. It was a large room. I expected it to be modern, but it was very traditional with its wooden bookcases and red carpet. There was a large window that looked out onto the square. In front of the window sat Snow half concealed between a large mahogany desk.
"I've been expecting you, please sit,"
I silently walked over to the lone chair that sat in front of his desk. As I came nearer, I was overcome by the stench of blood and roses. I held back a gag as I sat down on the small chair which was at least six inches shorter than his.
"First of all a congratulations is in order. I want to congratulate you personally on, whether directly or indirectly, for taking 23 other tributes lives," Snow stated, almost amused by this.
My lips tightened into a thin line, my eyes cast downward, before I returned to staring him down, a fury beginning to build behind my irises. I struggled to keep my rage amongst other things down, my fists clenched up.
"We haven't had such a popular victor since Finnick Odair," Snow explained. "The Capitol is simply entranced with you. From your movements to your beauty to your charisma, they can't have enough of the beautiful killer from eight," He then looked to the desk himself, staring back up with a light behind his eyes and I recognized faintly the feeling of excitement in him. I could only wonder what would make such a sadistic man as him feel this way.
"The sponsors were throwing money at you," Snow continued. "You would be dead if it wasn't for them and it is only best if you repay them,"
"Out of my winnings I'm hoping," I answered dumbly.
He let out a humorless laugh, "These people have plenty of money," Snow answered.
"Then what do they - Oh,"
Prostitution. I would be forced to become a Capitol whore, my life destroyed like Finnick Odair.
"I can't," I protested, my face heating up. "I'm only fourteen. I've never even-"
"That you are, but two years from now you'll be sixteen. We start you off then, someone young and easy will help you," he said, leaning back smugly in his chair.
I shook my head, "I can't. I just can't,"
My murderous activities were disgusting. I can't sleep with old men too. I wanted to leave this place and my nightmares behind. If I came back here and did Snow's bidding, there was no chance of normality ever again.
"This is not an option Miss Dyne," he said sternly. "Of course not. Becoming a courtesan is a choice you make on your own. Some people need persuading, but I know that won't happen to you," he said menacingly.
"Persuading?" I asked.
"You would hate for anything to happen to the people you loved?" Snow asked. "Your older brother is sixteen and your little brothers are eleven. I would hate to see one of them reaped next year," Snow stated sinisterly.
"What if I don't agree?" I asked.
"Then I'll let you live a life of rebellion. Rebels don't have families, friends, and can't be seen. You'll return to your district, living your whole life in hiding, as an example of how horrible a rebel's life really is. And if you decide to keep rebelling I'll take everything that you love most from this world," Snow grinned evilly.
"Okay, I'll do it," I agreed tightly, my eyes narrowed.
"I am glad you accepted my offer, I would hate for you to have more blood on your hands. I have my eyes on you Miss Dyne. You are dismissed, for now," Snow said, leaving the remnants of a girl in his office.
We were on the train on our way back to District 8, my home. I would be joyous had it not been for the conservation I had with President Snow before I left the Capitol, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, the will power keeping them in my eyes was dissipating quickly. Not too long after, someone else entered the train cart I was sitting in and I barely had the strength to look up. Upon seeing my mentor, I returned my gaze to the ground attempting to stop my tears in vain. All I could do was sit here and feel the hot drops roll down my face.
The low feminine voice in front of me spoke up, "Listen sweetheart, I hate to say this, but this nightmare never ends. You just happened to get the shortest stick, like we predicted," Cecelia said softly. "Come on and get up," Cecelia encouraged.
Woof, Cecelia, Ryler, and myself, we all knew this could happen, but I wanted it to be wrong so badly. All I could think of was what lay ahead of me. The fear of being passed around like a toy, never being human again, pervaded my senses. I didn't bother to try get out of my when Cecelia went and pulled me up. Cecelia wiped my eyes for me and led me out of the train cart. To be frank, I couldn't feel anything.
A monotone electronic voice rang out, "District 8,"
Valeria hugged me tightly and kissed the top of my head, "Goodbye Paige! I can't wait to see you again at the Victory Tour!" Valeria smiled, and walked away back inside the train cart.
At the mention of the Victory Tour, I nearly retched on the spot.
Cecelia once more dragged me to the door of the train.
"You better start smiling unless you want the District to know something is wrong, and we all know what that means. The Capitol's ears are everywhere," Cecelia whispered.
Nodding only lightly, I mustered a very small and very fake grin, but one that I hoped would be enough for those around me. The doors opened and in front of us lay a walkway to the Justice Building, then the main town square. I bolted off, straight into the arms of my Mom, ignoring the cameras flashing and the people cheering.
"Oh Paige..." Mom breathed into my hair as she held me tightly. I inhaled her familiar smell and voice and cling to her tightly.
"Mom," I gasped as she stroked my hair fretfully like she's scared I'll disappear again.
I finally took a step back and looked at her closely. Stress is evident on Mom, from the greying hair and puffy dark eyes, but she is still smiling with happiness, relief that her second oldest has come back from the arena alive. She's wearing her best clothes, the ones she saves for the Reaping days where there are cameras. The wind tossed her dark hair and as she stopped stroking my hair I see the sore blisters blotting her calloused hands.
I'm suddenly flung into the air and let out a shriek.
"Put me down!" I squirmed panicking and Mather let out a hiss as I kicked him. "Put me down!"
"You won!" Mather boomed smiling, and put me down.
I smiled at Mather and try to stop the erratic panicked beat of my heart hammering in my chest. Suddenly, my legs were bum rushed and I looked down to see Micah and Aidan hugging my legs tightly.
"We knew you'd win!" Aidan shouted smiling and I returned his smile.
Mather returned with Indira clinging onto his neck and he wrapped his arm around me grinning, "See, I told you Paige. I knew you'd be fine," Mather stated proudly.
"Yeah," I started. "We'll all be fine," I finished, with a small smile and turned to the crowd and waved with my family.
The crowd waved back and cheered wholeheartedly, looking at their newest Victor of District 8.