Chapter 3: What Should I Do?
For a few days the topic about Kiriko's father wasn't brought up again instead they all caught up with what had been going on the last few years. She learned that her father would stay Chief of the Southern Water Tribe until her brother's first child was born, and now that she was back for good and not going anywhere as demanded by her friends Sokka and Suki were planning their wedding. She learned that Toph and Aang had gotten together, but had wanted to tell her in person and get her blessing before they made it public.
The one thing no one ever discussed was why Zuko wasn't with anyone, and Katara was sure that he had never told anyone else what had happened. They talked about how Azula had been well on the way to recovery and now with her mother back Katara saw a girl she didn't even know. Azula was cheerful and happy with no trace of the crazy girl Katara had last met. She had even apologized to Katara for trying to kill her, and said she was glad her stupid brother had got in the way. The way Zuko acted around her sometimes she was afraid he already knew, but then when she saw him around Kiriko he didn't act like a father so she was convinced he didn't.
"Katara," a hesitant voice called out to her almost seeming like she was struggling to say her name. Turning her head towards the door Katara was shocked to see Azula standing there wringing her hands. Despite having apologized Azula hadn't really tried to talk to Katara and she was certain that despite her forgiveness Azula still felt she had no right to talk to the woman she had almost killed. Yet to Katara it was easy to forgive her because hadn't Zuko done similar things to them when he had tried to regain the false honor he had thought he lost. Azula had just been a lost child who had just wanted someone's approval and ended up turning down the wrong path to earn it.
Smiling at the younger woman Katara just waved her in hoping that she would be able to eventually get Azula to see what she sees. "Hey Azula how are you doing?" she asked glad to be able to talk to Azula because unlike her friends she hadn't actually betrayed Azula, and it made it easier for her to talk to Azula.
"I'm doing ok," she supplied hesitantly sitting across the small table in Katara's sitting room. Wringing her hands Azula looked nervous and Katara still wondered why Azula had come to her for something, but at the same time she wanted to be able to prove to Azula that there were people who believed in her. "I just don't know what to do," the whispered confession sort of shocked Katara because she had always seen Azula as a confident person.
Something about seeing her so nervous pulled on Katara's heartstrings and she could see herself excepting this girl as the sister she had never had. Maybe it's because she looked as lost as Katara had felt so many years ago when she made the best decision for them all at the time. Then again it could just be because she knew that Azula had to suffer growing up without her mother as well, and didn't really know how to go to her mother for advice.
"I'll do my best to help you if I'm able to," she told Azula with a smile. Glancing over to her sleeping daughter in the corner her smile got even brighter. Even if she didn't yet know that Kiriko was her niece Azula had seemed to have taken to the young child quickly, and Katara had no reservations about her at all now. Her daughter did have a sort of second sense about who was trustworthy after all. However she knew that she couldn't promise to help her completely because it might be something that would cause Katara to overstep the boundaries that only she seemed to feel.
"It's Zuzu," Azula began wringing her hands and looking at them not noticing how Katara froze at her words.
Having seen how carefree Azula and Zuko were around each other she hadn't even thought that the siblings could still be having problems. Truthfully she had thought that the only block left they had had in their relationship was the fact that they both had a hole in their hearts were their mother should be. Now that Ursa was back in their lives though Katara hadn't seen either of them look awkward at each other, and couldn't see what sort of problem could cause Azula to be so nervous about her brother? Other people though who hadn't seen how much Zuko changed during his exile would think the worst and that he had done something to scare his sister, but she knew that Zuko would never risk sending Azula back to who she had been. He truly did love his little sister and he had seemed so happy in his letters when he had told her that they were repairing their relationship.
Taking a deep calming breath Katara returned to the scared girl in front of her, "did you two have a fight or something?" she asked knowing that she would need some prompting before she told Katara everything.
"No. I'm just worried about him," she said sounding more confident, but at the same time hesitant. Most likely thinking that she didn't have the right to truly worry about her brother after everything she had put him through.
"Why is he sick or something?" Katara asked not realizing how desperate she seemed for the answer, but Azula had and was confused about it.
So worried about Zuko Katara didn't even notice that she had ended up freezing all of the water in the room until a cup shattered and a guard come rushing in from outside. Behind him was Zuko and Ursa probably having been heading to the gardens or somewhere off together like usual, and they both looked at the two concerned. Having taken in the scene that Katara was basically in a panic attack and that Azula looked like she didn't quite understand why.
When a hand landed on her shoulder Katara jumped and turned around. Realizing what she had been doing a blush as red as Zuko's fire appeared on her face. Turning towards Azula not sure how to describe why she had acted the way she did she saw a look of understanding pass on Azula's face as she turned and glanced at the sleeping child in the room. A bright smile crossed on Azula's face as she turned towards her brother with a teasing smirk, and for a moment Katara thought Azula was going to reveal everything.
"Sorry for worrying you Zuzu our girl's talk got a little flustering," she said smirking more when her brother blushed almost as red as Katara. Probably thinking that they had been discussing how Kiriko had come into existence having probably noticed Azula glancing at her daughter. With how flustered he was a part of Katara could only hope that she had been one of the only if not the only girl he had ever been with. After all a confident guy wouldn't get so embarrassed in this situation, right? A wave of happiness that Katara didn't quite understand rushed through her as she wished that her observation was true.
A small part of her wondered why she was getting so flustered over having been worried if Zuko was sick. Yet a larger part was whispering to her that she already knew the answer to that and she should stop lying to herself, but for the life of her she didn't really understand the answer at the moment. For now she would just worry about whatever problem Azula was having with her brother, and not over the fact that Azula knew that she had slept with her brother. Even though she was positive that she would end up teased horribly later on once Kiriko was no longer in the room.
"Ah well ok then I'll just ah go," Zuko rambled the blush still persistent on his face as he practically ran out of the room. If he had been any more flustered Katara wouldn't have been surprised to see him completely covered in flames due to his embarrassment. She had heard that some greenhorn boys in the Fire Nation got like that at times when they were swimming in embarrassment.
"Azula that wasn't very nice to your brother," Ursa said with a sigh sitting beside her, and for a minute Katara caught a glimpse of pain on her face, although it was quickly wiped away by her mother's net words. "Although it was nice for you to cover what you two were really talking about."
Even though she hadn't been around her children very long after having been apart from them for years it was like Ursa completely understood her children still. Although it could have been because of all the tales Katara had told her over the years when she missed her friends. Blushing Katara just realized that she had told the mother of her daughter's father intimate details about their night together. She was actually shocked that Ursa hadn't seemed to mind although Ursa had to have known that Katara was talking about her son the whole time. Then there had been that knowing look she would get on her face sometimes when Katara would recount some of the times she had met Zuko on her own. Almost like Ursa had read more into their encounters over the years they had been fighting each other then there had been.
Without the reassurance from her mother Azula would have probably sunk right back to how she had been right after the end of the war. Thinking that she was still the monster that her father had tried to turn her into just because she had done what all sisters did and teased her brother. Katara wondered how long it would take Azula before she realized that there was a difference between sisterly teasing and being ruthless towards her brother. It was most likely that for a while she would hold back her real thoughts until she observed real siblings in their element.
Smiling as she came up with a way to help Azula she turned towards the young woman and her mother smirking. "Oh come on Ursa that's how sisters are to their big brothers. I know I teased Sokka a lot during the time he was beginning to court Suki especially with how those two first met," she said with a laugh remembering her brother in the Kyoshi Warriors outfit. It had been highly amusing to say the least seeing her brother dressed as a girl to try and prove that he was a good warrior. He had probably been in love with Suki since then because Sokka had always respected other warriors, and he had rarely been able to meet a female warrior that would put him in his place. Especially since he had always seen himself inferior to benders until he had mastered his sword, it had been refreshing for him to remember that other non benders did just fine in the war.
A small smile on Ursa's face as she mouthed thank you to Katara told her that Ursa knew exactly what she was doing. Even if she didn't owe so much to their family, like Ursa taking her in when she felt like she had nowhere to go, and her sort of dishonoring Zuko by fleeing after giving him her innocence. Katara felt no she knew that she would still help Azula overcome the walls that she had put up to keep herself from becoming a monster. A large part of her was actually surprised that Azula had never asked Aang to take away her bending, but the water bender part of her knew that willingly giving up her bending would have just made Azula even worse. She would have blamed everything that happened on her bending and that part of her would have never had time to heal.
Then reality sunk in and Katara felt an overwhelming fear as she looked at the two women in front of her. She knew she could trust then, but at the same time by expecting the two of them to keep her secret she was basically asking them to betray Zuko. Something that she couldn't expect from Azula well she was still learning her boundaries on what was right and wrong. She would be torn between keeping her new friend's secret to show she deserved her trust, and the loyalty she owed her brother who could have just as easily had her imprisoned like their father instead of getting her the help she needed. Oh La what was she supposed to do?
"Do you still want to know what I think is wrong with Zuzu?" Azula asked hesitantly probably not used to talking about these sort of things in front of her mother just yet. For now she would just have to put her personal problems aside and help her new friend.
"If you think I need to know," she told her making sure that Azula knew she didn't have to betray her brother if she thought it was like that.
"You are," Azula said it in such a way that Katara knew she wasn't being cruel, but she gained questioning looks from both her mother and Katara. Zuko didn't know what had happened that night, so how could she be causing him problems?
"How am I causing your brother problems, we've barely talked since I've been back?" she questioned, a part of her felt a little bad that she hadn't tried reaching out towards Zuko. Unless if the problem with Zuko was that he knew she was avoiding him and had thought he had done something wrong. It's not like Zuko was physic and knew that half the time Katara was around him she was remembering how good that night had been, and the other half she was guilty over keeping his daughter from him.
Smirking at Katara as she leaned in a bit more she took a few minutes to respond knowing how much she would be teasing the other woman. Most likely she thought that Katara had deeper feelings towards her brother other then lust and friendship, and was trying to tease Katara with that sort of information.
"Well I didn't realize it was you tormenting him until he came in here," she said hesitating before she elaborated. The way Azula said it was like she was trying to imply that Zuko was in love with Katara and for some reason that thought made Katara's heart start beating like crazy. If Toph had been in here she would have said something completely inappropriate hearing how crazy the thought of Zuko was making her.
Jolting she turned back to Azula when she elaborated, "ever since five years ago Zuko has been acting insane and worried over something it wasn't until I eavesdropped on a conversation about him needing to marry that I found out Zuko was already married..."
"WHAT!" Katara's yell made both women turn to her almost as if they didn't expect her to act like that.
Oh La what had she done she had forced a married man who wasn't in the right mind to break his vow. That made that night even worse and now she didn't know what to do. If he was already married it could ruin his marriage if his wife knew that he had a daughter with another woman. Then again did Zuko not trust any of them because as far as she knew nobody had mentioned Zuko's marriage to her? Why did thinking that Zuko belong to another woman send a million jolts of electricity through her heart?
How would Kiriko be treated once she learned that she was the daughter of a married man, was he even married when they had been together? La she hoped not because if he was that would make her the worst of the worst she'd be a scarlet woman, or a home wrecker. If he hadn't been married when Kiriko was conceived though that would make it so that Kiriko was still in line for the throne, but if he had been what if he demanded that she and Kiriko be banished from the Fire Nation. To protect his wife and future child would he put someone else through banishment just to make sure that his wanted child didn't have anyone contesting their right to the throne?
"Katara whatever you're thinking stop you couldn't be farther from the truth," Ursa's voice broke through her horrible thoughts. The gentle tone in her voice made Katara hope that things weren't as bad as she thought they were, or they could be even worse then she could imagine.
"How can you know what I'm thinking?" she asked in an emotionless voice trying to mask all the pain she was feeling.
Touching her shoulder Ursa smiled softly at her, "I guess no one ever told you about the Fire Lord or the heirs tradition with marriage."
"What's that have to do with anything?" she asked not being able to keep back that small bit of curiosity she felt. Oh La please make it so that she hadn't done an even more horrible thing then she had originally thought. Please make it so that her daughter didn't have to live with knowing that she would always be seen as second best.
"In the Fire Nation to make sure that the young lady is pure when they marry to make sure there is no doubt of the heir to the throne, or to make sure the female heir won't sleep around there was an old blessing woven around those of the throne's bloodline. When the Fire Lord or any heirs with the blood of their family take a willing virgin they are automatically married, and it is shown that she was pure when they married because somewhere on her body the birthmark of the royal family appears. Katara you and Zuko have been married since you willingly gave yourself to him," Ursa explained making her head spin.
Despite having always planned to marry for love due to an old family magic she was already married to the father of her daughter. Meaning she had unknowingly lied to everyone when she had told them she wasn't married. Now though a lot of things made sense some of the villages she had stopped at there had been people who had addressed her as My Lady, but she had always thought it was because they respected her for healing them. It seemed more likely no thought that they had seen the mark wherever it was on her body, and realized that she was the wife to the Fire Lord.
Zuko must have realized that he was married now and even though she wouldn't have blamed him for being unfaithful when he didn't even know if his wife was alive, he had never dated anyone after that day according to what everyone had told her. It just showed how honorable Zuko was that he hadn't tried to start another relationship when he was married. Yet he had never even known who his wife was which made everything even more special. She didn't delude herself thinking it was out of love though because he didn't even know who his wife was, so how could he love her. At the same time though she didn't care that she was married to Zuko because she knew that she would be happy with him once she told him the truth.
"Zuko and I are married," she whispered not caring if anyone heard her she just needed to be able to say the unbelievable words. "What am I supposed to do?" she asked turning towards Ursa and Azula.
In the past five years she had known if she came back and they discovered who her daughter's father was they would make them marry. Yet in none of her wildest dreams had she ever thought that them just being together would make them married in the eyes of the Fire Nation. At least though her father wouldn't be able to kill Zuko because he took her innocence since they were married through that, but which spirit or animal would have made this possible and why? Was there an even deeper reason behind it then what had been passed down, or did those in line for the throne have to be careful with who they were with?
"That's for you to decide, but the longer you take to make a decision the more likely you will be found out," Ursa told her kindly giving her a small hug before she left the room. For once though Katara just wanted someone else to tell her what to do she didn't want to ruin everything, and she had no idea of how she would tell Zuko that she was his wife. Oh La what would Aang do when he found out she had unknowingly married Zuko the night that she had rejected him?
"I think you already know what you have to do, but be quick about it because I want to be able to see Zuzu act all mushy over his daughter," Azula said smirking as she too left Katara alone to her thoughts.
Author's Note: I still don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender. Please review and tell me what you think. Probably will be more mature content in later chapters which is why it is rated M. Working on fourth chaper, but probably won't be out right away.