Chapter 4: Daddy
After her talk with Azula and Ursa yesterday Katara had just wandered around the palace with Kiriko once she woke up. He daughter had loved getting a tour of the palace although she laughed at her mother a lot when they guards had to help her when she became too turned around. That night she didn't even eat with everyone else and instead just took a meal in her room with Kiriko still working out what she had to do.
At the same time she had been doing her best to stay away from Zuko because half the time she just wanted to kiss him, and it's not like there was really anything wrong with a wife kissing her husband. It had been hard staying away from Zuko because he seemed to have a radar built in telling him when she was around because she kept having to duck behind columns to avoid him. Kiriko had enjoyed it though after she told mommy playing hide and seek against him was fun because he kept barely missing him.
Right now she was sitting in the library reading about the Fire Nation customs and etiquette because she knew once she admitted everything it was better for her to be prepared because with her being married to Zuko it made her the Fire Lady even though she had never been crowned. She had also shown Kiriko during supper last night and breakfast this morning the correct utensils to use for each dish. A small part of her had never even really thought that she should be teaching Kiriko about her country and everything because she had never really planned on coming back, but it was her daughter's right as the crown princess to know these things.
Kiriko had left her after breakfast though because Iroh had offered for him and Zuko to train Kiriko. Stating that it was best to make sure she had at least the basic control so she didn't end up hurting herself or others. Having seen how excited her daughter was about it and seeing sense in her words she had reluctantly given her permission. She hadn't wanted to though because she was afraid that the more time they spent together the more likely they were to realize Kiriko was Zuko's daughter. Another part of her wanted this to happen though because it would make it easier for her if she didn't have to explain things to them, and just had to confirm what they suspected.
She had been reading about the different types of bows the royal family gave to their visitors when she heard all the servants bustling around in the hallways. Having been here for a few days she knew their regular routine and the noise in the hallways was even more then she was used to. Almost like they were all preparing for an important visitor. Then again it was likely with both the Avatar and the Fire Lord in the palace that that was exactly what they were doing.
Deciding to ignore the weirdness of the staff she glanced at the candle and realized it was almost lunch, so with a sigh she closed her book and stretched. Knowing that she was still being judged by her friends because of Kiriko she had been unwillingly to spend too much time with them, but skipping too many meals with them would make them suspicious. It would also harm Kiriko because at the community at the village was so tight nit that her daughter was used to being around a lot of people, not just her mother.
As always the maids and warriors she passed bowed slightly too acknowledge her which she had learned on her second day that they did to all of those who stopped Ozai. Even most of his own people had hated the war and wanted it over so they didn't have to fear for their lives if they ran across someone from another nation. According to what she had learned during her travels those who still tried to put Ozai back on the throne had dwindled to a few after most of them had been caught during the first year. The people of the Fire Nation learned their Fire Lord was just, but he also had a firm hand when needed. They also knew that if there was a major problem then he would send out his men to deal with it swiftly.
Hearing the laughter of her daughter she looked up and her heart froze but was set on fire at the same time. Zuko was carrying her, no their, daughter in his arms and swinging her around causing her to laugh with glee. He was just proving how good of a father he could be with a daughter he didn't even yet know was his. Seeing them like that just showed her what was the right path, as soon as possible she would have to confront Zuko with the truth, and then she would have to inform Kiriko of who exactly her father was. Kiriko would be pleased though because she seemed to have so much fun with him and she'd be happy that her father was the way he was.
"Mommy," Kiriko called to her happily seeing her. "Wook Zuzu wikes to pway the swing game," she said having adopted Azula's nickname for her brother because Zuko was a little hard for her to say just yet. Having noticed her the second Kiriko had called her name she had to hold back laughter at seeing Zuko's bright blush, although he didn't stop playing with her daughter despite his embarrassment at being seen like this.
"Hello Katara," he said smiling as he approached her maneuvering Kiriko to his back to give her a piggy back ride well he talked to her mother.
"Mommy why don't Zuzu and you kiss wike other mommies and daddies?" Kiriko's question wasn't expected and made Katara freeze in fear. How in the name of La had her daughter figured out that Zuko was her father? The look on Zuko's face though was one of pure shock as he looked back and forth between Katara and Kiriko, which was a little hard considering Kiriko was on his back. It was almost like he was trying to figure out if there was any way that there was truth in the four year old girl's words.
A part of her just wanted to pick up her daughter and run before Zuko could figure out the truth on his own or ask the inevitable question. However the larger more rational part of her was saying that she had been planning on telling him the truth any way so now was as good a time as any. Then another small part of her was just begging her to laugh it off like she had no idea what Kiriko was talking about. Little girls were always dreaming of fairy tales and the like, so it wouldn't be that hard. Yet she knew that she wouldn't be able to lie to her daughter or her father, but first off she had to figure out if Kiriko actually knew anything. If not confirming what she said could upset her daughter.
Before she could speak though Zuko gently put her down to the floor and crouched down in front of her, "what makes you ask that sweetheart?" the tone he used for her daughter was so gentle that she wanted to cry. Who would have ever thought that the boy who had once chased them across the world and hated them could be so gentle to a little girl? It made her want to cry even more when she realized if Zuko had never been banished he would have never turned out as kind as he had, not with Ozai as his father. After all Zuko had been lucky enough to be able to save Azula, but only after she had already went over the deep end.
"I heard mommy and Zula tawking wit Nana wast nite, then Zula said somethin 'bout wanin to see you act aw mushy wit you dauter," Kiriko said smiling at being able to speak so clearly about what she had wanted to talk about.
Zuko just looked towards her and she guessed something on her face confirmed it because a look of anger and pain washed over his face before he hid it behind his own mask. She hated seeing such a look on his face and knowing she was the one who had caused it. Why couldn't she have stopped being a coward and told him the first night she was here? At least that way he wouldn't feel so betrayed because he would have heard it from her instead of someone else.
Turning away from her he smiled gently down at their daughter like he had never expected something like this to ever happen. Then again maybe he had never expected that his sort of estranged wife would have given birth to his heir well she was gone. Maybe if she had just waited that morning to explain why she had to leave to him and get his blessing she would have been able to keep him informed on all the important parts of their daughter's life. Instead she hadn't even told any of her friends about Kiriko, and she was afraid he would take that as her being ashamed of having given birth to the Crown Princess of the Fire Nation.
She just wished that he would give her a chance to explain everything and not turn her away. With how angry he had to be feeling he might just decide to ignore her for the rest of their lives and only lather attention on their daughter. If he did that though she wouldn't be able to blame him because she was the one who had started it all, but she wanted the chance to set everything right. To let him announce to the world that he had a daughter he could be proud of with a mother who was one of his closest friends. She would never delude herself into thinking that he would ever be able to fall in love with her especially not after what she had done, but she hoped he would find it in his heart to forgive her enough to remain friends. She just knew her heart would shatter if he completely turned her away and never wanted anything to do with her again.
"Well then if that's the case," he said with a proud smile before sending Katara a challenging glare almost like he was telling her not to deny his next words, "then shouldn't you be calling me daddy?"
That question was met with so much joy from her daughter that even if she hadn't wanted to let her call him that she would have let her. Even if he hadn't asked though she would have asked him if it was ok now that they both knew that he was her father if Kiriko could call him daddy. She would never deny them being able to announce their relationship to others now that they knew it, even if it would start a lot of questions she would rather not have to answer right now.
"Yes Daddy," the way Kiriko said it so easily with very little coaxing and with such a heart warming smile brought tears to her mother's eyes, and a look of reproach from her father. It was like he was saying see what you made the both of us miss out on, but at the same time he seemed to be melting in the little girl's hands. Before he had even known she was his daughter she had stolen his heart it was like he had already realized from the moment he met Kiriko that she would be an important part of his life.
"How about we go get some lunch now sweetheart? Then mommy and daddy need to talk in private," the way he said it made her know that their conversation wouldn't be easy. She had basically betrayed him when she had kept the truth from him like she was slapping him in the face telling him he wasn't good enough for her. When in truth she was the one who would never be good enough for him. No matter what she does she just keeps breaking the hearts and trust of everyone she has ever cared for.
Kiriko didn't even use words to tell her father that she wanted lunch instead she just grabbed both of her parents hands and started dragging them off to the dining hall with her. It was odd she still had no clue how to traverse the palace without getting lost, but her four year old daughter acted like she had lived here from birth. Just like she should have if she had decided to put more trust in her friends reactions about her news because really that was what it came down to. She hadn't trusted Aang to not get upset and destroy everything they had worked for when he found out she had given herself to Zuko. She hadn't trusted Zuko to be able to protect her from their enemies, and later on their daughter once she was born. Thinking that it would be safest to raise Kiriko somewhere where she wouldn't end up having to have a constant guard. She hadn't trust Sokka to accept that his little sister had made her own choice, or her people to not cast her out because of her choice. Most of all though she hadn't trusted herself to not fall in love with Zuko if she had stayed here and done the right thing because that's what it would have been. It would have been the right thing for her to stay here and give everyone a choice in the matter instead of robbing them all of their choices.
Instead of going to the family dining room that Katara had gotten used to eating in the last few days they approached the one she recognized from all those years ago. The formal dining room everyone had eaten in once they had all done their part in defeating Ozai. A dining room that meant there would be more people she would have to face when Kiriko eventually called Zuko daddy in front of them.
She froze outside the door her daughter having let go of her hand to run into the room. For the first time in years she was afraid of her friends and family afraid of the way they would treat her. She knew no one would blame Zuko about any of this because they had all heard her admit before he even knew he was Kiriko's father that she had never told him. They would all know that Zuko hadn't had a choice, and that she had taken away the honor that he prized so much.
The doors were wide open in front of them, but no one had their eyes on them. Instead the focus was all on the little girl who had flung herself across the room to hug the only friend of Katara's who had known about Kiriko. A man who had spent years guessing who Kiriko's father was even though they both knew that he had known Zuko was the father from the start. After all he had saved Kiriko's life when she was two years old. They had been travelling to another village to heal someone when Kiriko had slipped and would have fallen down the cliffs if he hadn't bended the rocks beneath her to catch her footing.
"Uncwe Haru I's missid you," Kiriko said as she hugged the brown hair green eyed man.
"I missed you as well princess," he told her hugging her tightly to him before she scrambled out of his arms again.
"Uncle Haru watch what I can do!" she said it so excitedly that all eyes in the room watched with baited breath. Then Kiriko slid into a beginning fire bending stance and brought flames to her fist although she didn't fire them. "I's a fire benter just wike daddy," she said it so proudly that everyone clapped at the little girl.
"A very strong one to by the looks of it princess," he told her rubbing her hair with a laugh. After all at that age it's much harder to control your element especially when you only just found out you could control it.
Preparing to walk into the room she froze again as she saw another familiar face one that caused a lot more trouble than anyone else. How the hell had her father gotten here from the South Pole so quickly? Were he and Sokka here just by coincidence now that she was out of hiding, or had they already gotten word that she would soon return?
Looking closely at her father she felt a pang in her heart seeing how old and weary he looked. At that moment she could tell no one had yet told him about her being home, or about her having a daughter. Otherwise he would probably have a look of outrage on his face, and he would be looking around the crowd for her. Had they decided it was best for her to tell her father everything hoping he would get the whole story out of her, or had they forgotten he was even coming? He looked like being the chief of a now larger tribe was taking its toll on him. Sure he had experience running the tribe before, but he now had to worry about trade agreements with the other nations and providing enough supplies to trade in return.
Seeing her father for the first time in five years though and seeing how much he had aged from his responsibilities and probably worry from her made her want to run across the room and hug him. At the same time though she thought it would probably be better if she could talk to her father in private first. It wouldn't do if Kiriko called Zuko daddy in front of him without her explaining everything first. For one thing if he attacked Zuko for dishonoring her when they were in fact to her shock married it would hurt, but at the same time it might make relations between their tribe and the Fire Nation strained. Besides she didn't think her father had a chance of beating Zuko not with how weary he looked.
"I need to explain things to him," she said turning towards Zuko who had surprisingly stayed beside her the entire time. "I can't let him think the wrong things about you," the look of shock on his face showed her that Zuko had probably thought she left because of him. Yet her not wanting her father to do the wrong thing had probably showed him that what he was thinking wasn't why she had left.
"We can go in my office and you can explain to the both of us," the way he said it told her there was no way she would get out of giving them both a proper explanation. Although she had wanted to talk to her father first in private to make it easier on him to accept his daughter was married. She also wanted to make sure she protected Zuko's honor from what her father would most likely think. If they spoke to him together how could she make her father see that Zuko wasn't the one at fault? She was glad though that Zuko would give her the chance to explain to him what had happened.
Even if she would prefer telling them both everything separately at the same time she was glad that they hadn't been ambushed in the dining room with Kiriko calling him daddy. If that had happened she would have had to explain to everyone what had happened, and she didn't want just anyone to know what her fears had been about staying. Besides she didn't want to have to explain to her five year old daughter why she had ran from her father even though he wasn't a bad man. If Kiriko had heard she ran she'd think that Zuko might be like Miyu's father, and she didn't want her daughter thinking that her father would hurt her. Especially because she knew that Zuko would give his life up for his daughter. Once Kiriko was older she would tell her the entire story when she could understand everything and not make the wrong assumptions about her father. For now though the story she had always told Kiriko about her father protecting her from bad guys would have to do.
"What about Kiriko?" she asked realizing that they couldn't very well take Kiriko into the meeting with them, but if she went to ask someone to watch Kiriko her dad would see her with her daughter.
Thinking about it Zuko just waved her off, "go to my office I'll send your dad there first well I ask Haru to keep an eye on Kiriko. Uncle and mother would also be glad to help watch her," he told her quickly dismissing her.
Watching him walk away into the room she practically ran towards his office once he was out of sight. She didn't want to have any sort of confrontation with her father where others would be around and hear every word. At least once he saw her in Zuko's office they would be guaranteed privacy for their reunion before she had to tear her father down. Tears fell down her face as she collapsed behind the door to Zuko's office. She was afraid that after she explained everything to him that her father would never want to see her again. Maybe she was married, but she would be truthful with her father and tell him she didn't know that would happen when she gave herself to Zuko. Tell him that she had gone to him in a moment of weakness after having drank, and tell him that she didn't even know why she had gone to Zuko.
Oh La please give me strength she prayed in her head as she moved to a chair in front of the fire. Zuko's office was designed for comfort, but at the same time it could be quite intimidating. Watching the door waiting for it to open she almost wished time could stop so that she could sort out exactly what she was going to say. It wasn't to be though because her father opened the door a confused expression on his face showing that Zuko hadn't yet explained what the meeting was about. His eyes scanned the office before they landed on her and he ran towards her embracing her in a strong hug that she didn't return.
"Daddy we need to talk," the way she said it had him sinking into a chair away from her almost like he was dreading what she was about to say. He looked so old and she was afraid of what her words could do to him. Turning away from him she kept her eyes on the door deciding not to betray Zuko's trust again and wait patiently for him to appear before she told her father her story.
Author's note: I still do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender although I wished I did. The only ones I own so far are Kiriko and Miyu. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and will leave a review so I know how you like it. Next chapter will have a flashback of the night Katara and Zuko were together, as well as her explaining everything to her father and Zuko.