Chapter 5: How It Happened!
She sighed in relief when ten minutes later Zuko finally walked into the room the air had been tense between her and her father, and it wouldn't go away until she could explain everything. Zuko's face showed strength and resolve to make sure she told him exactly what had lead to her becoming his wife by accident. Even though he was now hiding it well she knew that he still had that bitterness, betrayal, and resentment lingering under the surface. In all the years that she had known Zuko she had never seen his eyes so cold, and she had known him before he turned over his new leaf.
Swallowing hard she watched as he sat down at his desk seeing the action as what it was a way to stay as far away from her as possible. This Zuko wasn't the one who had willingly thrown himself in front of his sister's lightning for her instead he was a side of his self she had never expected to see again, except he was a hundred times worst. Unlike with his father he had never actually had his love so his betrayal didn't hurt as much as hers considering that she had shown him that she cared about him deeply. Then she had basically shoved a knife in his heart and now she had to try and heal that wound.
"First off before I begin my story daddy I need you to know that I am 100% responsible for what happened, and I don't want you to do anything rash," she said finally after sitting there in silence for what felt like hours, but was only minutes. No matter how they would both see her she didn't want her dad to hate Zuko for something that hadn't been completely in his control.
Her dad's eyes were calculating as he looked between his daughter and Zuko and she could see the thoughts whirling through his head. "I'm not going to like this am I?"
"Probably not daddy, but I need to be able to tell you everything uninterrupted before you try and pass judgment. Please daddy, promise me," she begged taking his hands in hers. If she had to keep answering his questions or defending Zuko from her father she would never be able to completely get the story of that night out. Not to mention she would have a lot of difficult questions to answer at the end questions she still didn't even know the answers to herself.
"I promise sweet heart," he told her gently.
Looking towards Zuko he nodded his agreement to wait and talk until the end although he would probably want to talk to her after her father was gone since there were certain things she would refuse to go into detail about with her father there. When she held things back she hoped they would understand why and not ask her embarrassing questions. All her father will get about that time is how he had been gentle and how she had awoken not recalling what had happened until a few months later.
Flashback the night Ozai was defeated:
Katara just couldn't believe that it was all over after having been fighting for so long they had finally done it. They had finally ended the war that had last longer than most of them had been alive. A war she had personally thought would have never ended until she had discovered Aang in that iceberg. It terrified her thinking about what would have happened if Aang had never been discovered. All of their lives would be so different, Zuko would have wasted his entire life trying to find his honor, Toph would have still been treated like she was a doll because she was blind, their father would have died, Suki and Sokka would have never met, and she would have never learned proper water bending.
Now they were all together celebrating the end of the war and drinking to their new found freedom. Yet even though the thought of the war never ending had terrified her it had given her a purpose in life. Training Aang so he could end the war, but now she had no idea what she could do to help people. Everyone else knew what they wanted to do already or what they had to do, and she still had no idea. She didn't want to become one of those girls like the ones in the Northern Water Tribe who only lived for having children and pleasing their husbands. Instead she wanted to help people, but she didn't know how she could do that.
Her worries just caused her to drink more and more until she had realized the moon was high in the sky. Feeling dizzy she decided it was best if she went to bed and started to walk towards her room. With the way she was feeling though she had accidentally found herself standing outside Zuko's door instead of her own. Turning around to leave she found herself unable to. What would happen if she could never see Zuko again? What if well she was at home in the Southern Water Tribe he ended up dead because some people wanted Ozai or Azula to rule? If she left to go home would she even be able to come visit Zuko, or would her future husband forbid her from seeing any male friends? She wasn't stupid she knew that most girls would start getting betrothed at her age and she would probably end up getting married, and there was no guarantee that her husband would understand her friendship with the man who had chased them around the world.
Before she really understood what she was doing Katara opened Zuko's door planning on making him promise that he wouldn't let their friendship evaporate once they were a world apart. Instead though she walked in on him just starting to change and a primal instinct that she didn't quite understand came over her. The next thing she knew she had somehow ended up coaxing Zuko into bed with her and gave him her innocence. She had been surprised at how she barely felt any pain because she had been told it would hurt.
The next morning she woke up feeling disoriented not remembering what had happened the night before. Stretching in bed she ended up hitting something hard and almost jumped out of bed when she saw the arm beside her. Gasping in shock and finally realizing the slight soreness she felt she tore the blankets off of her and found the spot of blood on her sheets. She couldn't believe what she had done and bracing herself for the worse she turned to stare at the guy sleeping beside her shocked to find Zuko there. Sure she had thought he was good looking before, but she had no clue what would have led her to jumping into bed with him and denying her tribe's feelings.
Then reality came crashing down on her head as she thought of how bad it could be if people knew what had happened. She knew she had drunk a lot last night and hoped he had drunk enough to forget the previous night. Things would just end up falling apart if her father demanded for her to marry Zuko, but at the same time she couldn't return home without expecting to be married and them finding out that she wasn't pure. Oh no what would Aang do if he found out what they had done, what had possessed her to sleep with Zuko and possibly ruin everything they had all worked hard for? Aang was still a child who hadn't completed accepted her rejection last night and he would see her sleeping with Zuko as a betrayal.
Knowing what she had to do to make sure everyone remained friends she had left his room and went about her routine before she left after saying her goodbyes. Planning to run far away and never return she had left the palace with a heavy heart. However something had touched her when she ended up stopping at a village at the borders of the Fire Nation that was wrought in sickness and she helped heal them all. She had continued travelling along the borders stopping at villages and helping those she could. Some villages called her my lady, but she had just seen it as a form of respect and ignored it.
It had been about five months after she had left on her journey with only minimal letters sent to her friends that she had collapsed. When she had awoken a woman named Zyra had asked her why she was doing so much with her baby on the way and that was how she had found out she was pregnant with the heir to the Fire Nation.
For a moment she had pondered returning and admitting everything to Zuko certain he didn't know a thing about that night since he had never tried to track her. However her fear stopped her she was afraid that they would all hate her for leaving and not giving him a choice to do the right thing. A small irrational part of her was also afraid that he wouldn't accept her and her child even though she knew he wasn't cruel she felt that she would deserve that treatment for leaving him like she had. Besides she had finally remembered what had happened that night and she was the one who had initiate everything well he was drunk and then left before he knew who she was.
The next four months she still helped heal people and found out Zyra was a healer as well, although she wasn't a bender of any kind. Knowing she wouldn't be able to hide things from Zyra when her daughter was born, and not wanting anyone else in the room with her newborn child she told Zyra everything. Including who her child's father was and why she had never told him that he was going to be a father. Zyra had been understanding and told her that she had done what she had thought was right and that was the end of it.
Then finally the day she had been waiting for came and she was holding a precious little girl in her arms. She named her Kiriko and instantly loved her little daughter. Now she was afraid of what could happen if people saw the birthmark on her back and so she only she and Zyra watched her daughter until her daughter was old enough to change herself and use the bathroom. Before that she and Zyra had to take Kiriko with them on cases were they were both needed. That stopped though after an incident when Kiriko was two and had let go of her hand well they were walking beside a cliff and slipped. If it hadn't been for Haru her daughter would have died and then he became a big part of their lives. Somehow he had figured out who Kiriko's father was, although he hid the knowledge that he knew by guessing outrageous people as her father. Some people had expected there was something more between her and Haru, but he was more like a brother to her. Once Kiriko was older either Haru or a young girl in their village named Miyu kept an eye on her when they needed to go out of the village.
End of flashback
"After all that Kiriko and Zyra who I had found out was really Ursa were taken by a group of men and were rescued and brought here. Then I was reunited with everyone when I heard Kiriko screaming for me and found out she was a fire bender because she was surrounded by flames keeping them away from her. Yet I didn't tell Zuko the truth and only told everyone that I wasn't married and that it was consensual.
"Then yesterday Azula had wanted to talk to me about Zuko and when Zuko and Ursa had come in after hearing me yell at something she told me she had put the pieces together and found out Zuko was Kiriko's father. She also ended up revealing to me that because of some sort of blessing on the royal family the day I had given Zuko my innocence willingly we had actually been married.
"She and Ursa left after leaving me with a lot to think about, but she had said something about how she couldn't wait for me to tell Zuko so she could see him being all mushy with his daughter. What we didn't know was that Kiriko woke up at that last comment and she ended up revealing to Zuko that she was his daughter because she asked why we didn't kiss like other mommies and daddies. Then she dragged us off to the dining hall and I had seen you and knew I had to tell you everything so you didn't get the wrong idea about what had happened. I took Zuko's choices away from him and didn't want you to blame him for everything."
Finally finished with her story she looked up from her hands and looked at her father and husband. Their faces were blank so she couldn't really tell how they felt at her confession of everything, well almost everything. There had been a few things she left out in order to protect someone else. She was just worried that they wouldn't try to forgive her, but hoped Zuko at least would since she had given him a second chance once. If she had the chance to do it over again she would probably have done it the exact same way because in the early days after the war it would have been too dangerous for her to raise Kiriko in the palace.
"You left something out," Zuko said turning accusing eyes on her although oddly enough there was a hint of protection in his gaze. Almost like he still cared enough about her to want to protect her from danger no matter how angry at her he was. It sent a sliver of warmth through her making her happy for reasons she still couldn't quite understand.
"Nothing important," she said trying to shrug it off. Thinking that he wouldn't know of those few things she had kept hidden even from Ursa things that she had been ashamed of, but that she had been able to get out of on her own, so she didn't see any of them worth mentioning there was no point sending them into a rage over things they had no control over. She had taken care of herself basically the last five years with a bit of help from Ursa and didn't need anyone treating her like a frail flower.
"What about the assassination attempt?" he questioned her, a hard look in his eyes as he dared her to contradict him. The reminder of that made her laugh causing her father and Zuko to look at her like she had gone crazy. She had almost forgotten about that little mishap since the person hadn't truly meant her any ill will thinking that she had killed herself because they didn't expect to find her in the Fire Nation.
"That was all a misunderstanding and a case of mistaken identity," she said not caring to elaborate they didn't need to know all the details. Besides she had promised the so called assassin that she wouldn't reveal her to anyone without her permission. Not like anyone would even believe her on who the woman was considering how different she had looked.
Her father and Zuko exchanged looks almost like they were trying to decide together if they should press her for more information. No matter how much they pressed though she wouldn't reveal anything knowing that eye witness accounts wouldn't be able to tell them who the woman was. It made her happy though seeing that her father didn't seem to be angry at Zuko for the small part he had played in everything. He probably would have been angry at Zuko though if it hadn't been for the fact that Zuko hadn't taken her innocence without making an honest woman out of her even if she hadn't known it at the time.
One thing was still confusing her though if he hadn't known who he was with that night why had he told his council he was married? From what Azula had told her Zuko had been troubled over who his wife was, but Azula hadn't seemed to know that Zuko hadn't known who his wife was. Had Zuko somehow covered everything up, so that if she did return that the people of the Fire Nation wouldn't treat her harshly? What sort of story had he released that made it so those who had called her My Lady hadn't seemed to wonder why she wasn't living in the palace, and was instead running around the borders healing them?
"You two will have to sort everything out between you later when you are in private, but right now I would like to be introduced to my granddaughter. Unless if there is something else you wish to tell us Katara?" he father asked.
Thinking about it she knew that Kiriko would most likely out them all once she and Zuko returned for lunch. "Just one question Azula said your council knew you were married what did you tell them so they weren't hunting me down?" she asked averting her eyes from him still a little unsure of what being married to Zuko would mean. Would he expect her to act like his wife at all times, or just in front of his people and Kiriko?
"We had received rumors at the Palace about the Fire Lady healing some people around the borders, but they never mentioned you were a bender. Before that I had been hiding the fact that I had accidentally become married through our traditions well drunk, but at that time I knew it was my wife and not my mother the rumors were about. My mother would know to hide her marriage mark, so it was impossible for the rumors to be about her, but my wife who was clueless that we had been married made sense.
"When they confronted me about you I told them that I had gotten married after the battle to insure an heir not knowing you were pregnant, but thinking they would accept that instead of me drunkenly marrying a woman who I didn't even remember. I made them believe that my wife had left before we knew if she was pregnant though because of how bad our borders were, and that you were doing your part for our Nation by healing a protecting our people. Those who worked for me kept an ear out for any rumors of kidnapping or anything, but five months after you left we rarely heard anything about you. Probably because mom was helping you hide your mark so people wouldn't know that you had an heir," he explained it in a way that had made her sound like a martyr instead of a cruel woman who had left him alone. Yet she was glad that she didn't really have to lie about much since most of the information was true except the fact that they had willingly gotten married.
Her father seemed to accept his explanation and she wondered if her father had known Zuko was married even though he hadn't known who his wife was. It would make sense for Zuko to have told the other leaders of the Nations, so that they didn't feel insulted if he rejected a marriage proposal. After all if he was already married there was nothing they could do about it, although it would probably be a little difficult to explain to the other Nations about the alliance that had sort of formed with her and Zuko being wed. Although that could easily be explained through truth and saying that no one not even their closest friends had known she was his wife to make it safer for her well she healed and helped their people.
"Actually Katara," he father said turning towards her. "It would probably be best that you two have a private lunch and introduce me to Kiriko officially later on. After all I don't think your friends or brother would be too happy to find out with everyone else that you two are married," he explained. It actually made sense though if they didn't tell them together and let Kiriko announce it to the whole room they would think they didn't really matter to them. Plus Katara didn't want to insult any of them especially Uncle Iroh who would be delighted to know he had a Grand-Niece.
Even though Zuko now knew though she was still afraid of how everyone else would act. Should she even tell them everything or just gloss over the details? It would probably be best to let Zuko fill them in if he thought they should know anything she didn't divulge. Tui knew that she wasn't really the one with good judgment lately unlike how she had been when they were kids. Back then she had trusted them all completely, but losing her purpose in life had just made her lose sight of herself. Fear does crazy things to people after all.
Her dad then left her and Zuko alone in his office something she hadn't wanted to happen. She agreed with her father that it was best for their friends to hear the details from them instead of the cover story for the people, so they didn't feel betrayed. At the same time though she was afraid of being alone with Zuko not because of something he would do, but she was afraid of how she would react. After all last time she had been alone with Zuko Kiriko had ended up being conceived.
Looking into Zuko's eyes a part of her wondered if his kisses would still be as passionate as they had been that night. They had set her blood on fire, but that could have just been because he was drunk and didn't know what he was doing. She had been drunk as well, so her recollection of how things felt could have been tainted by the alcohol. After all some people could find someone ugly when sober, but when drunk they could be the most beautiful person in the world to them. Not that she would ever find Zuko ugly he was rather sexy actually.
"Now that your dad is gone why not tell me how I actually treated you that night?" he asked her a bright red blush on his face. It accord to her that it might have been his first time as well, but she didn't want to embarrass the both of them by asking him. If it hadn't been he might feel insulted that she had, but if he had been he might think she knew because he had been clumsy or something.
Flashback Zuko's room the night Ozai was defeated:
Having seen Zuko starting to get undressed something she couldn't quite explain had come over her. Zuko hadn't heard her come in and was instead she could see his naked chest gleaming in the firelight as he bent down slightly to take his pants off. She was so afraid of losing him that she thought it would be a good idea to give him something that she thought she would never forget about, and this way she would always be able to remember him. Knowing he would notice her soon she quickly took off her clothes and then walked up behind Zuko wrapping her arms around his back pressing her breasts against him.
"Katara what are you doing?" Zuko asked his voice husky as he turned around to see who had entered his chambers. She could see all of him very clearly and for a moment she was slightly afraid especially when she saw how aroused he had become after he had looked at her naked body. His eyes were full of lust and something she couldn't quite identify that caused her knees to go weak and her own arousal was dripping down her legs.
"Zuko," she purred running her hand up his chest loving how he shivered as she racked her fingernails over his nipple. "I want you."
At her words he had reached out to touch her, but then he pulled back at the last minute making her whine slightly in frustration. She wanted him to take her and didn't care about anything else except the two of them joining their bodies together. "This isn't a good idea Katara," he told her trying to step away, although his husky voice and pressing arousal told her that he wanted it just as much as she did.
"I don't care," she told him before reaching a hand out to grab him. She had never seen a guy naked before sure she had seen a few shirtless, but she had never seen below the waist although she felt like he was well endowed. He was hot and heavy in her hand and he groaned when she starting to slowly pump him. Dropping him she turned away and walked towards his bed before lying down and putting her hand between her legs, "if you won't help I'll just have to do it myself," she teased him.
The sight of her pleasuring herself must have been too much for him because he approached the bed and took her hand away replacing it with his one. He slid a finger into her and began stretching her to prepare her for his length. He kept it up until she had become undone beneath his fingers and then pressed himself against her before quickly plunging in. It hurt a lot at first, but he had stopped moving and circled that little bundle that had always made her shiver in pleasure. The rest of the night before they fell asleep was used to explore each other.
End of flashback.
Refusing to look at Zuko due to embarrassment Katara felt slightly aroused from telling him what had happened that night. Explaining something like that to the person you had been with was surprisingly a big turn on for her and she almost wished they were a couple so she could just jump into bed with him. Shifting her knees she tried to relieve some of the pressure, but just made it worse.
"Katara look at me," Zuko demanded his voice having a husky edge to it as she reluctantly turned to meet his eyes. There was a fire in them that made her gasp and she wasn't even sure if he realized that he had been turned on by the information of that night. A quick glance down confirmed that he was probably just as aroused as she was if not more so. She wondered if she could seduce him again, but decided against in since that had been what had gotten her into trouble in the first place.
Turning her attention back to him she almost missed his shy words, "are you sure after the initial pain I didn't hurt you?"
"No Zuko you didn't I really enjoyed it," she whispered softly turning away from him blushing at admitting to him that he was good in bed. At least she assumed he was good, but didn't really have anything but her fingers to compare him to and he was definitely better then that option.
It was like her words gave him confidence because the next thing she knew her head was turned towards him and his mouth was on hers. His kiss was just as passionate as she remembered and when he licked her lips begging her for entrance she quickly complied. He tasted like honey and smoke and she immediately started to use her tongue to explore his mouth starting a battle of dominance between them. Kissing him was like returning to the sea after having been lost in the desert and she was afraid she would never get enough of him.
Pressing herself closer to him she moaned into his mouth as his hand cupped her breast and he started to rub teasing circles over her nipple. Slipping her hands under his shirt she returned the torture and pleasure, and smirking into his mouth when he moaned at her actions. His moan though brought her crushing back down to reality and she tore her mouth away from him. She was afraid of how explosive a simple kiss had been and what it implied about her. The only man she had ever wanted in the way was Zuko, but she was unsure if it was just lust or something far more serious.
"I .. I .. I have to go," she said quickly fixing her shirt before she ran away from Zuko once more. She looked back once before she had left the office, but wasn't sure what the look on Zuko's face meant and she didn't really want to know. How had she ended up being so shattered by a kiss? That kiss had made her want things that she didn't feel she had the right to want. It made her want to try and have a real relationship with Zuko so that she could kiss him all the time like that.
If she had initiated that kiss she wouldn't have been so shocked, but Zuko had initiated it and she didn't understand why. Could he possibly feel the same burning lust for her that she felt for him, or did he feel something that she was afraid to let herself feel because it would change everything. No he had to have only kissed her because his emotions and lust had been running high after he had heard how much he had pleased her five years ago. It had nothing to do with any emotions other than lust and she was a fool to think that the case could be otherwise. There was no way after all she had done to him that Zuko had personal feelings for her that went beyond the friendship they had once shared and she wished to share again.
All they had to do was raise Kiriko together as a princess of the Fire Nation and if Zuko fell in love she would divorce him now that she knew they were married. She had no right to hope that their marriage might become real just because she lusted after Zuko. His friendship and being a father to Kiriko is all she could allow herself to want from him nothing else. Yet why did her heart feel so heavy when she thought of Zuko marrying another woman and having children with her? Why did she selfishly wish to keep Zuko for her and Kiriko only? What was wrong with her? Collapsing into her bed those thoughts whirled around her head as she cried herself to sleep, but she had no clue what she was truly crying over.
Authors note: I still do not own Avatar other Kiriko would be a real character and not an OC, and Legend of Korra would have never been made instead it would have been a true sequel about the original characters.
Thank you too all the Guests who have reviewed my story since I can't send you messages to thank you all. Please keep telling me how I am doing. I hope that the second flashback wasn't too explicit and going over the M rating. This is the first time I have actually tried to go into detail about that sort of thing. If you have any questions feel free to ask in the reviews and I will answer as long as it isn't a spoiler. Those who have actual accounts will get their questions answered with more detail because I don't want people to think the chapter is a lot longer then it is because I went into a lot of detail answering guest questions. Thank you again for all your support and I hope you liked this chapter and that it was realistic enough.