Dun-dun dah-dah dun-dun! Hope you enjoy, a lot of heart went into this guys XD
The moments like that can't last forever. Soon Daryl was slipping out of her bright embrace, choosing to sit on the edge of her cot. The morning light streamed through the wide windows outside her cell, and he smiled as he realised that was the reason she was so far away from the others. Golden light warmed her bare back, tanning it yellow, fading in with the hue of her fluffy dried hair. A huge part of him wanted to smile, but it was overshadowed by the pull of just staring at her sleeping face is total disbelief. Strictly speaking he told himself he was going to move after she fell asleep, but he had been warm and surprising craved the comfort offered by her unconscious gentility.
Eventually he left the cell, struggling to not back glance at her but worried what morning conversations would mean to their level of commitment. Yes, being gone was better. Undoubtedly she would figure out the enigma he was and call him out on it, but for now the realism of her wanting him was too much to take after 'she's alive'.
Now he was left cigarette at his lips to replace the feeling of her soft kisses, and back cold against the guard tower wall. Michonne was happy enough for the company, even if it was bad tempered Daryl, she preferred the silence anyway. He stretched uncomfortably, the lack of her making him both relaxed and agitated him horribly. After days of desperation at needing to know if she was alive, he couldn't figure out any motivation. So turning to an old favourite he decided giving space was best.
Beth woke up to find the space next to her empty, she wasn't surprised she missed him slipping out. The man was stealthy when he needed to be and she was practically dead to the word the second she fell asleep. Her small hand rested on his side of the mattress felling the cold emptiness and letting it tell her he was too far out of her reach to catch up. Sighing she stretched, pulling the sheet up to her bare chest and scanning the room for some clothes to pull on.
She was still doing her jeans up by the time she jogged out into the courtyard. The sunlight seemed ridiculously bright and blinding to sensitive eyes, her arm moved to shield the most of it, but still she squinted. A few shapes of unnameable humans wandering around doing odd jobs, all slow with the strain. Her feet kept moving to the noises of people, hoping to ask them where Daryl might be. She found herself adjusted the light to only stumble upon the edge of the field now filled with the fresh graves of the sick and dead.
Her stomach dropped, and the reality of her trivial worries seemed almost laughable in their egocentrism. Taking a few unsure steps back she bumped into the strong build of Tyresse. His face was set in a stony contemplation.
''Heard you kept the hope alive. Strange, a little thing like you survived when they didn't.'' His voice was low, full of hurt. And despite the abrupt familiarity he was talking to her she felt no amount of cruelty in his voice, just sorrow.
''I'm sorry about the loss of Karen,'' she took his big, blistered hands and gave them a small squeeze. ''She was a lovely person, and be thankful she's not one of them now. Grieve and pray, that's what daddy told me, but if you need to talk by all means my shoulder is yours.'' She gave him a sad little smile, her own eyes filled with tears for those she had lost in her young life. He could see his own pain reflected in her wide wet eyes, the way her breathing hitched as she looked back over her shoulder at the brown earthy mounds.
Tyresse pulled her into a tight hug, sadly wanting to sob at the gentle firmness with which she held him back. He had been angry, furious in fact for days on end, simply digging for those he once knew to displace the hard emotion he was feeling. Deep down walking into the woods and screaming was all he wanted, not listen to how a little blonde weak thing managed to defend herself when his strong Karen couldn't. But sickness wasn't like battling walkers, if it were the roles would be reversed. But she was alive. And when she walked back into him, he wanted to cry and tell her to swap places, not wanting to hear another stupid ''she's in a better place'' because Karen may be in a better place but he was fucking left behind. But Beth, as so many say but everyone forgets, was honest about it. And her genuine sadness at the losses made her more human than anyone else he knew. Perhaps being human was weak, but he needed that right now.
They broke their embrace, finishing the moment of twinned emotion to simply nod and walk away from each other. Because that's how the world works now, you take what you need from people and move on. We all have a job to do, Bethy. As she walked back to the prison, not wanting to be out in the presence of death by graves or moaning walkers anymore, she saw a few tired members of the group. She shrugged off their enthusiastic smiles and comments, plastering on the niceties and saying 'thank you' for their empty prayers. Every time asking after Daryl, learning he was out hunting, she made a small joke and wandered off.
The prison was cool inside, the concrete letting the shade dominate the space seemed empty but vast. How would she have felt if she was trapped here for life? Already an affective depressing cage for their own safety, she imagined if a better alternative was out there, like a pre-apocalyptic world, she might simply go insane. Only that worry wasn't paramount to her, would never have to be, because that world was gone.
Back in the small comfort of her cell, Beth pulled the curtain down deciding it would be nice to have a few hours alone. The far corner of her cot let her press herself into the unyielding concrete walls, trying to dissolve herself into a ghost of sorts to be unbound from her humanity.
And there it was, the shaking feeling of numbness being taken away and pushing her in with the lions in the arena. Nausea and tears nothing to do with the flu overtook her small body, but still fighting with determined composure she began muttering small tunes. If I were a butterfly, I'd thank you lord for giving me wings. Perhaps now she could just get some rest and fly away to forget the burned images of the graves. Or the thoughts running so quickly through her head.
They had buried her mother and Shawn near Otis, what was left of their cold murderous bodies and the destroyed face of the woman who taught her bible hymns. And if I were a robin in a tree, I'd thank you lord that I could sing. 'Everything better after a song and dance, come on I made a pineapple upside-down cake and I'm sure Patricia won't mind you having a slice before book club.'She let the soft words of her mother wash over her, anything at all she could remember. 'He's just a boy, Bethy, not worth your tears', she sniffed at the superficially tantrum she threw when Mark Redford hadn't asked her to prom. Her mother was right then too, because Jimmy had asked her shyly only days before and that was the night she stopped over-looking him and they became an awkward couple. Oh God, Jimmy.
The thought of his poor, poor kindness being eaten by one of those awful things and wandering around now. The dreams he never got to achieve. She could remember him crying on her shoulder when his parents became sick, how he did the same for her when it was Shane and Annette. The silly whispers they shared about the army and the cure, how long would it be until they came? The simple, but pleasant pecks of affection on her cheeks and the chance of what they might have been given more time to be. Three months wasn't enough to fall in love, but perhaps with time she might have learnt to love him. Either way, he wouldn't be here now and she simply wanted to see him as the bashful suited joker that he had been back then. Perhaps that would be normal.
But what about all the others who didn't get that kind of ceremony the shell of a person. The ones who had no one left to think about their dreams and their hopes. You can't look at a walker, and see their driving force how they were the self-acclaimed best hairdresser in South Atlanta or wanted more for their child than they could give. And if I were a fish in the sea, I'd wiggle my tail and I'd giggle with glee. She hoped that didn't plague them now, and that somehow the undead knew that she cared still even though it crippled her inside. And she wanted the freedom to get away from her problems, to swim to Atlantis and forget walkers and death and pain- but not at the cost of becoming a living walker.
They were given so many promises, everyone was and now only a handful of the people were left but nothing was fulfilled. She was meant to be protected, she was meant to be happy. No one seemed to remember that but her. It was just an illness, why did it turn out this way? She forgot how normal it is to let the fear and disappointment wash over you, to comply with it and bend to it like noting is really wrong. Because you're alive. But it's not living anymore. And now she was crying and the feeling of the agonising wishes made her feel like being again.
Emotion was painful, but giving in to numbness made you a monster.
But I just thank you Father for making me me.
Her hands itched to move to the long ago neglected diary. To write down the thoughts to think them over in a calmer state and rationalise them. But somehow that seemed harder, forcing herself to vocalise what she was thinking and never wanting to read that again. She was strong, she didn't need Daryl and she didn't need a book of silly emotions. Time to grow up and get over it all. People died every day and she was still selfish enough to think her loved ones were majorly more important than them.
Come on, Beth, think about things that are going right.
Shaking her head, loose tears dropped onto her arms. Her nose prickling with the onslaught of hiccupping gasps and eyes burning with the pain. But nothing compared to how heavy her head felt right then. And she thought of Jimmy, and then of Daryl. Cause you gave me a heart. Because he would tell her to man up teasingly and then panic and hold her, perhaps that's what she lacked right now. None to hold her together so she just unravelled into the dark box labelled 'don't open yet' in her mind. Her lips kept muttering, ignoring the thickness of her throat.
So she had Daryl. And her sister and her daddy. She had a whole new family of people she never would have known before to love and cherish. She was safe. Food, water, shelter. All perhaps once as trivial and common to her as dimes- but they were invaluable. And you gave me a smile. She thought of what people did for her. Rick's garden and her father tender treating of the sickness. Glenn being over protective, and Maggie being even more so.
Then she looked back again at what she learnt from her mother, what advice she would have given. You gave me Jesus and you made me your child. Smirking she hide a sobbing giggle at the beauty of Herschel Greene a moderate Christian taking up the strong faith when the world went to shit, and how much more deeply it was being enforced by him. Annette was the strong Christian, the one who insisted that the do things by the good book and that Beth should sing in the choir whilst Maggie helped with the Sunday school. In a way she saw her mother in every piece of advice, the calm reasonable attitude of her being absorbed by him after her death so she was still around.
She knew her father had that admiration for her mother still. And that her mother would likely have taken up sneaky sips of whiskey to honour him, had it been the other way round. But she would tell her to seize the opportunities that she had. Crying time was over, and she decided she was tired of believing emotion to be weak. She was stronger than anyone else for getting through this shit and still giving a damn. So no more time was going to be wasted. Carpe diem, and all that.
Tearing the sheets back and unwrapping herself from the tangle of broken promises, she ran out her room. Bare feel slapping on the concrete floor and heart hammering in her chest, she barely had time to brush the tears from her pink face before walking plainly into the cafeteria where everyone sat. Maggie was there with Glenn looking at her, puzzled, her father was still out picking wild herbs with Michonne and Rick was bouncing baby Judith on his knee. Her eyes brushed over everyone, waiting to find him. Bingo!
He stood up when he saw her, the wild look of fear and sadness on her face that betrayed any attempt of covering it up. Beth Greene had stopped lying about things being ok, and he hadn't been them to help her deal normally. Although feeling guilty he stood up, determined to sort this out for her and try to be the kind of person she wanted and deserved.
But Beth Greene simply skipped over and leant up to him, catching him unguarded in a heated kiss. He could practically feel the eyes of everyone boring into his back and his mind recreated their goldfish mouths to entertain him after they all kicked the shit out of him. Their relationship that everyone had speculated over and argued about was now very much in concrete, and he couldn't move enough away to run.
He stepped back, mind totally reeling and face flashing red. Maggie and Glenn had both loudly stood up, but Daryl was sure that a currently absent Hershel would have remained in his seat averting his eyes to his youngest daughter's public display of affection and focused on his squirrel instead. Rick too looked uncomfortable with the affair and Tyresse was the only one who walked over patted Daryl on the back and said:
''Don't go hurting her, Dixon. And don't go letting him off easy, Greene.''
Beth smiled and sat down, letting Daryl slowly work his way back to his dinner and take a few bewildered mouthfuls. The rest of the place had gone back to innocent conversations about fences or hating squirrel, whilst the loud clangs of cutlery refilled the room. In that moment Daryl felt part of a community, he was living in a place that would talk shit bout him behind his back not to it, and that was an improvement. And then it hit him that bar the storming out of the Rhee's (one violently, and one apologising and slipping out to placate) no one had anything serious to say.
He and Beth could work. A smile worked its way to his face. Then there was a bang, a loud noise which made them all file out worryingly.
And the Governor was here, and he had Hershel and Michonne.
I know the song choice is a bit out of place, but it's like my go-to hymn from my childhood so I thought it could be Beth's too. It's a very upbeat song and so the kinda innocent vibe makes me sad… anyway tell me what you thought xxx