'Ello, 'Ello, 'Ello! What is zhe up? So, I've got good news, bad news, and a jackhammer. Actually, that last one is a lie... Anyway, dessert before the veggies!
Good news- Guys, we've reached 54 reviews. FIFTY-FUCKING-FOUR. Jesus (sorry if this offends you), people, I can't believe you like this!
Inner Kiwi: I know! Jeez, you people are giving her -shudders- self confidence. Do y'all know how hard I've been working to destroy that, and there you guys are, building it back up again. Rude.
Me: Oh hush, you. But yeah, thanks a million guys! I love reading what you guys think about what's going to happen; It amuses me, especially if my plans are the complete oposite. And whe you guess EXACTLY what I'm planning to do, It's creepy as fuck, not even gonna lie. I'm convinced y'all are inside my head...
So, I was wondering, think you guys could swing getting the review count up to 60 by the next time I update? Don't worry, I'm not gonna turn into one of those review whores who are like "100 REVIEWS OR NO UPDATE" because that isn't really fair. Just... if everyone reading this could review, I'd love you forever.
I changed my mind, bad news is at the end so it doesn't spoil the experience.
(Ps, Lili and Gil's conversation is entirely in German, I just don't feel like translating.)
Pps-Am I the only one who picked up on the irony at the end of last chapter?)
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Lili bit her lip nervously. It had been three days since she had witnessed... whatever it was she had witnessed, and she still hadn't told anyone, not even Liz. She had wanted to, and had even picked up the phone a few times to call Gilbert, but something had stopped her each time.
It wouldn't be fair to go to someone without talking to Matthew first, She had reasoned with herself. Maybe its all a misunderstanding, and i'm mistaken. No need to stir up trouble over what could very well be nothing. Even to her own ears, the excuse sounded flimsy, but she had resolved to wait to talk to Matthew about it on Monday.
But, as she learned from a rather disgruntled Gilbert on Monday morning, Matthew hadn't come to school that day. That was what left Lili in her stae of indecision she was in at the moment. She wasn't sure if she should keep witholding information, or tell Gil now. For all she knew, that man could be- No, she scolded herself, don't jump to conclusions yet!
Lili still hadn't decided by the time lunch rolled around. Liz seemed to notice her distress, but wisely didn't comment. Lili couldn't help but be grateful that she had such an understanding girlfriend.
The couple went together to the normal hanging spot, Lili in her customary seat between Liz's legs. Roderich and Vash had finally returned from their month-long absence. Gil semed to have recovered from his earlier annoyance, and was engaged in a vicious Pirates versus Ninjas debate with Arthur. Every so often, though, his eyes would dart around, as if looking for someone for someone who wasn't there. After noticing this, Lili finally came to her decision.
"Oi, cousin?" Lili called, quickly gaining Gilbert's attention. "Can I talk with you about something on the other side of the roof?"
Immediately, the older Germanic excused himself from his conversation and walked to Lili, helping her up off the ground. Lili nodded her thanks, and the pair walked off to the far side of the roof. It was common knowledge among the group that when people talked on the far side, they were to be left alone.
As she sat down on the ledge, turning her body so she faced him, Lili thought about how she should word this. She didn't want him to become suspicious of what she was talking about and start asking questions. She'd already decide that she wouldn't lie.
"What is it Lils? You know you can talk to me about anything," Gil reassured her, giving her a smile. People assumed that Gil was a crass asshole, which, admittedly, was sometimes true, but Gil could actually be a really nice guy.
"I know that, but thank you," Lili said, giving him a smile. As she worded her next sentence, however, the smile slid off her face. "It's just... I have this friend, and I think they are getting hurt. But, i don't think they want what's happening to them to get out. So...Should I tell someone, or keep it secret?"
Gil's eyebrows furrowed in worry. Lili could tell that this hadn't been what he'd been expecting. Nevertheless, he answered the question with one of his own. "Do you know for sure if they are getting hurt?"
"I'm... Pretty sure. I saw it with my own eyes. But I don't know if what I saw was taken out of context, or what," She admitted. Absently, she pulled the purple ribbon from her hair and started tying and untying it around her finger, a nervous habit she had yet to break.
"I think you should talk to them about it first Lili. You probably don't have the whole story, and making accusations is dangerous. Plus, if whatever it is that's hurting this person is something that they don't want getting out, it would be unfair to betray their trust," Gil's voice was surprisingly thoughtful, and his opinion made an awful lot of sense. Lli found herself nodding at him.
"But, what do I do if they ARE being hurt, though?" Lili asked, scrunching her eyebrows up. Gil gave her a remarkably serious look putting his hands on her shoulders.
"Then you tell someone, Lils. Whether they want it kept secret or not, it's your duty to help someone being hurt, no matter what, you understand?" Lili nodded, gazing straight back at him.
"I understand, big cousin."
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Matthew walked into school the Tuesday following the fateful day of the concert. He had spent all weekend working to get away from Ivan. Even though the Russianwas still being sweet, Matthew didn't want to have to see him. He'd covered up the bruise on his face expertly, using the cover-up process he'd perfected in his fourth month of dating Ivan, almost three years ago. He hadn't meant to skip school on Monday, but a colleague of his had called him asking him to cover his shift, and Matthew, being the giant pushover he was, had said yes, despite the fact that it was a school day.
Even though he didn't want to admit it, the main reason Matthew had avoided home all weekend was because he couldn't stop thinking about Gilbert. Ever since Ivan had shoved him against the wall, treacherous thoughts had been crossing his mind. Thoughts about what it would be like if GIL was the one he was dating, and what it would feel like if kisses didn't make his stomach churn with disgust, but instead made if flutter. He wondered what it would be like if his boyfriend held his hand because he loved him, made him WANT to come home every night, made the time between their meetings seem unbearable with longing. Matthew had come to the startling realization that he had been falling for Gilbert Beilschmidt since that day in the rain. It was kind of like being on a school bus; you're just staring into space, not paying attention, and then BAM! Suddenly you realize you've been moving the entire time and have reached your stop. It was a shocking but not entirely unpleasant realization. It didn't matter though; no matter how much he longed for Gilbert, he'd alsways be stuck with Ivan. Seeing Ivan had just made the feeling or hopelessness 100% times more pronouced.
Now though, Matthew had returned to school, trying to push his feelings out the window, for the time being. It would't do to let anyone see the way he felt for the albino. Thankfully, Matthew had come up with a clever lie about helping out backstage with the school's drama production every lunch hour so Ivan wouldn't grow suspicious. So far, Ivan had been oblivious to his absenses, but after the scene at the concert hall, Matthew was sure he wouldn't overlook it so easily.
As the bell for lunch rang, Matthew took a deept breath to calm his nerves. You can do this, Matthew. Just pretend everything is the same, like nothing has changed.
Matthew ascended the stairs to the roof, finding most of the group to be there already, including the object of his newly aknowledged affections. As he joined the group however, he found himself faced with a jumpy blonde girl.
"Mattie! Thank Gott you're here, I was just about to go to my locker, but I didn't want to go alone. Will you come with me, bitte?" Lili asked him, an unrecognizable edge to her voice. Matthew looked over at Liz, wondering why she couldn't go with her girlfriend. from the surprised and slightly hurt expression on her face, Liz obviously didn't know why either.
"E-erm, of course, Lili," Matthew agreed, not wanting to dissapoint the younger girl. Still, he couldn't help but wonder...
"Danke, come on then!" she grabbed his hand and practically dragged him back down the stairs and through the school. Matthew tried to keep track of where she was taking him, but quickly gave up.
Finally, Lili came to a stop inside a side stair well. Matthew scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion. "Why have we-"
"Mattie, I need to talk to you about something." She interupted. Lili sat down two steps above the landing, patting the spot next to her.
" , then, w-what do you have to t-talk about?" Matthew took the offered spot. Lili turned slightly and took his hands in hers.
"Matthew, I saw what happened on Friday, after the concert," She told him, staring him straight in the eye. Matthew's own pair widened in shock and panic. Dear God, she hadn't told anyone, had she? If Ivan found out that people knew, he'd kill Matthew.
Lili, obviously seeing his panic, rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb in a soothing motion. "Shh, It's fine, Mattie. But I need to know... Is he abusing you?"
If it were anyone else, Matthew would have lied. Hell, when he opened his mouth, he'd planned on doing just that. No one was supposed to know, that was how Matthew kept safe. But, looking into those deep, earnest, concerned green eyes, Matthew found that she couldn't, wouldn't, lie.
"Y-yes," He whispered, dropping his eyes. He was prepared for her to pull back her hands in disgust and call him weak. For her to tell him that real men don't let themselves be abused, and that he deserved it, what he didn't expect was has to launch herself into his arms and hug him tight.
"Oh, Matthew, I'm so sorry," She whispered, her voice tight with unshed tears. Matthew blinked, not sure what she meant. Why wasn't she disgusted with him?
"W-why? I don't unders-stand..." Lili pulled back, pressing a sweet, friendly kiss to his forehead.
"I'm sorry that I didn't see that you were hurting. It's okay now, though, because I can see it now. You don't have to hide it anymore," She answered, smiling at him bittersweetly.
Just like that, Matthew was gone. A broken sob escaped his chest, and Lili pulled him back into her arms, rubbing his back and whispering soft reassurances to him. For the first time in a long time, Matthew let himself release all the pent up hurt and fear and self-anger as he clung to the younger girl, his body shaking. As he cried, he felt as if his soul was growing lighter, like it was all going away. his tears soaked the collar of Lili's dress, and his gut-wrenching sobs filled the stair well, but niether of them minded. Lili just let him cry until finally, he was done, pulling away and wiping his face. Lli took hold of his hand once more, squeezing it gently.
"Mattie... You need to tell someone what's going on. You can't keep living like this,"She said softly but sternly. Matthew's eyes widened, and he shook his head.
"No, I can't tell anyone!" He cried, his voice edging into panic. Lili rubbed circles in the back of his palm, trying to calm him.
"He's hurting you, Matthew, he could kill you!" She agrued back. He'll kill me if people find out, he wanted to say, but he knew better than to say something like that.
"He won't," He said instead. "He's only like that when I do something to upset him. He loves me, Lili, he wouldn't kill me." That was half-true. He knew that in his own twisted litle way, Ivan really did love him, and wouldn't intentionally kill him.
Lili still didn't look convinced. "Matthew, It' not-"
"Please Lili, it won't happen again," He interrupted, desperate for her to keep her silence. "If he hurts me again, I'll tell someone, but it won't happen."
"Promise me," She said, once again looking him straight in the eye. Matthew looked back, honesty shining through the desperation. "Promise me that if anything happens, or if you think something is going to happen, that you'll tell me right away."
"I promise," He pledged, for once in his life being completely honest. He knew in his heart that he couldn't betray this girl's trust, no matter what.
Lili stood up, pulling him along with her. The pair left the stairwell, and for the first time, Matthew didn't feel so alone with his pain.
Sooooooo~ What do y'all think? Since the moment Lili was introduced, I've wanted to make her Matthew's one true ally. She just seems so sweet and fiercely loyal... Plus I like to imagine a sibling-like bond between the two.
Anyway, bad news time! So, because my exams are the week after the one coming, I will be dedicating ALL my writing time to studying, so no updates until AT LEAST the 27th. Sorry guys, but school is my top priority.
Inner Kiwi: Says the girl who has two sheets of math she should be doing right now..
Me: Shut up! So, anyway, I love you all and i'll see you in a few weeks. -runs off to avoid all the outraged reviews-
Beta-d by BlacktwinWhitetwin