Chapter 19: It's a Trap!
Dear Alice,
I remember it now! The moral of that is—"Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!" Do be a dear and keep that in mind it makes the game go rather better.
-The Duchess
This dojo is just too damn small! I though, not for the first item that evening, as Sesshomaru again drove me into a wall. I managed to reverse my slide before I slammed into the surface and charged forward into battle once more. Lass, stop tiptoein' around the lad and use what ye have been taught, or take yer cloths off if'n yer gonna just keep dancin' fer 'im. Yer waistin' the pup's time otherwise, Uacteran's goaded for the millionth time in the past half hour. Our swords locked and Sesshomaru and I circled each other, equal forces holding us in stasis. Sweat trickled down my back distractingly and with a frustrated growl I shoved forward and used his own resistance to propel myself backwards and away from him. He advanced, intent on filling the space I had put between us, but I yelled, "Stop!" Surprisingly he complied, immediately lowering Tenseiga, though he remained posses to deflect any attack I may mount, he stilled and gave me a questioning glance.
Swallowing around my parched throat I said, "I realize you are concerned you will injure me, Sesshomaru-sama, but I will learn nothing if you continue to restrain yourself so much. Most opponents I will face will posses superior strength to my own. I must learn to counter that, you have told me this yourself."
He gave me a considering look, "What do you suggest, ningen?"
I met his eyes and felt a wicked little grin form on my lips, "I suggest you stop pulling your punches and I start showing you what I can really do." The bark of laughter he let out startled me. It was not only unexpected, the jovial rumble of it did disturbing things to my internal mechanics, causing my stomach to flip flop, my heart to beat faster and my brain to go blank.
A brief moment of sadness washed over me when he stopped, but I didn't have much time analyze it as he leveled a challenging smirk at me saying, "Finally," with an eager tone and charged.
My mamo and Uacteran had been guiding me on how to use my powers in various ways during my sword practices, but this was the first time I had an opponent to actually test their usefulness. Holy shit! He's fast! Was all I had time to think before he was on me. Amazingly I felt my power rise with unconscious ease, raising my sword in a defensive posture I erected a barrier directly in front of me as he struck. The impact of his blow was intense, far more powerful than I remembered Byakuya's fireball being, it made my teeth rattle and my skin crawl. But it held, Now comes the hard part, I thought determinedly.
My barrier had pushed him back momentarily. Immediately dropping it, I brought my sword forward to strike at his abdomen, he deflected it easily, and I quickly brought the barrier back up as he countered, saving me from another crushing blow. How's that for dancing, dog breath! I thought triumphantly at Uacteran as I pulled out another of my new tricks. I feigned to Sesshomaru's left and created a small barrier just above his ankle, as he tripped I struck at his sword arm focusing on infusing my blade with the attributes of fire and channeling more energy there. The results were dramatic. Sesshomaru fell forward, gracefully corrected and turned in time for a small explosion to ignite on his bicep, the resulting force shoved him into the floor.
Fear gripped me, whether for his well being or retaliation I'm not entirely certain, but I dropped my blade and sputtered, "Oh shit! Sesshomaru..." Which is all I got out before he grabbed my ankle and threw me to the ground. The impact momentarily stunned me and he had me pinned before I regained my composure. His nose was inches from my own when he spoke.
"First blood Donella-san, well done, but never drop your blade unless you know your adversary has truly been defeated."
I swallowed and licked my dry lips trying to calm myself before sputtering, "I didn't actually believe I would injure you, Sesshomaru-sama," I took a deep, calming breath before continuing, but calm was impossible with him pressed against me, "I'm very sorry." Instead of the rebuke and threat I expected he laughed, and all my faculties went haywire as it pleasantly rumbled through his chest and into my own.
"Baka, It is a scratch, you are not listening, ningen, this Sesshomaru is pleased with your performance." his words were a little lost in my fried brain, the only thing that really registered was his incredible laugh and the smile on his face making all thought impossible. What happened next was entirely my fault, though accidental, I think. I was attempting to crane my neck to see his shoulder, but the awkward movement with my body pinned and his hand holding my wrists above my head caused our lips to meet instead.
I am certain what happened after that was not my fault, or possibly a figment of my over stimulated brain. I gasped in shock, my eyes widening with panic, contrarily, his eyes narrowed. He leaned forward and deepened my little peck into a full blown, reality spinning, forth of July firework finally kiss.
I'd like to say I was shocked into immobility, to stunned to resist the insanity that was occurring, but who lies to their own journal? Our lips touched and from that small spark an inferno was born. I melted, and nothing else existed for me beyond the press of our bodies and the intoxication of his mouth. A small, needy sound escaped me, and a low rumble from him answered the primal call. My eyelids drooped languidly, but did not close, I was captivated my his golden gaze and equally lost look. Then suddenly we were standing and the unexpected change made me dizzy. "Jaken." He said abruptly and I had no time for my lust addled mind to process that word before he was stepping away from me and the door slid open to reveal the little toad, in mid screech. "-ella-sama! Donella-sama you must look to Rin! She is making the most unbearable snorting and coughing noises! I also believe her temperature is higher than it should be. Seshomaru-dono, I did not know you would be here. Someone must see to Rin, the troublesome creature seems ill."
His fulmination eventually reached me and I was in motion and halfway to the shiro entrance before I remember thinking to do so. Rin, I thought urgently as I entered, "Where is she?" I asked not even looking to see if the kappa had followed.
Impatiently, Sesshomaru pushed past me in the direction of her room as Jaken answered, "Her bed, my lady." I had not even slowed my step, however, trusting the daiyoukai to lead me to his ward and soon I was at her bedside.
"Sesshomaru-sama, Donella-sama!" Rin greeted us cheerfully as I lowered myself to the futon and her lord positioned himself in the nearby corner.
"How are you feeling, Haturo?" I asked as my hand rested on her forehead and I gazed down into her eyes.
"A little tired," she admitted. "Jaken-sama fed me some broth though and that made my tummy feel much better." The kappa made a small, self-satisfied noise behind me.
"Well it looks like you have a tiny fever and are a little congested. We probably just played in the snow too much today. I bet you, if you get a little sleep, you will feel much better tomorrow." Ah, Jaken, every sniffle is influenza and every cut is septic. I thought with a rueful smile as I tucked the girl into bed and ushered the yokai audience into the hall.
"Well done with the broth Jaken." I said reassuringly. He began a self-congratulatory diatribe, but I cut him off. The continued presence of Sesshomaru was making me self-conscious of what had occurred in the dojo, and of my still sweat stained cloths and messy hair. "Jaken, I think I will bathe before dinner. Why don't you put together some chicken, udon and vegetables; I'll make a soup when I'm done." Coward! Uacteran growled. Without another word to my companions, or the troupe in my head, I retrieved clean cloths from my room and went to bathe.
Dinner went smoothly, and I, for once, was relieved at Sesshomaru's absence. Jaken was uncharacteristically quiet as I cooked. Needing a distraction from my churning emotions and distinctly unhealthy thoughts I asked him to tell me the story of the meidou zangetsuha and how Sesshomaru's mother brought Rin back to life. The tale was a long one, and though I had heard it before, his fawning, ubiquitous chatter was almost as good as a radio for drowning out my unwanted cerebration. His tale lasted through dinner and the clean up. After, I tried to coax him into the common room, but the imp declined, saying he wanted to check on AhUn. I should have know it was a trap.
In desperate need to order my thoughts, I entered the makeshift living room with the intent to grab my journal and retiring to my bed. He must have been in the corner near the door. By the time I had my diary in hand and turned to leave, Sesshomaru had neatly cut me off from the exit. My heart leaped into my throat, and my stomach flipped. The predatory glint in his eye did nothing to put me at ease. The lad would never hurt ya, My grandmother soothed, but it did little to reassure me as I stuttered out, "S-S-Sesshomaru-s-sama."
"Do you fear me, ningen?" My mind fought against my emotions. The sound of his voice was the same detached tone he always used, but it immediately brought back the memory of his hungry mouth on mine. My palms began to sweat and I panicked, God, I can't do this now! I need time to think, this is a big mistake, he can't really want me. Where is his armor?
Foolish girl, how much longer ye gonna make the man wait! This time it was Uacteran who spoke, but I felt both my antecedents' disapproval.
"N-no, Sesshomaru-sama, but I really should check on Rin." I replied, unsuccessfully trying to calm my heart and slow my breathing, but my emotions were running too high and he was just too near. I could smell him, and again, it caused memories of his body pressed against mine to flood my treacherous brain.
He inclined his head thoughtfully, listening to something I could not hear, "Rin is fine, she slumbers peacefully."
"Oh," I managed lamely, taking a hesitant step back in hopes putting distance between us could help calm my jangled nerves and allow me to think coherently. I felt the edge of the horigotatsu against the back of my calves and stopped. He quickly filled the space between us until he was only a breath away and I had to crane my neck to see his face.
"You seem fearful, Donella-san," his eyes narrowed, "This Sesshomaru knows of nothing that threatens you and yet," he inhaled deeply, "You smell like prey. Tell me what causes you to be apprehensive if not, this Sesshomaru?" His voice rumbled through me and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath against the sensation.
My shaky answer came out so breathy I almost didn't recognize my own voice, "I am frightened of myself."
Hmm." He rumbled, and I felt my knees threatening to give, my eyes drifted shut on their own accord. Don't look at him, you'll do something crazy if you look at him. I thought to myself and my studio audience continued to send waves of disapproval towards me. I hugged my journal tightly. "A creature with as much temerity as you continually show, Donella-san, does not seem the type who fear themselves." His hand came up and wrapped around the bottom of my jaw. I visibly trembled and lost my capacity to speak. When his thumb graze my bottom lip, it felt like an electric current had been run through my body, and my eyes flew open to meet Sesshomaru's hooded gaze. I gasped and my wobbly knees could no longer hold me. The sound of my journal falling to the floor was drowned out by the rushing of blood in my ears. His arm wrapped around my waste and vaguely I felt my body caught and lowered by his mokomoko, but his lips were on mine and demanded the fullness of my attention.
Time passed, how much I do not know, I was lost in the moment. Drowning in his touch, the feel of his body under my hands, the fire his kisses ignited and the small noises which spoke of need and want we both emitted. When his hand left me and reached for my obi I came to myself enough to capture it with my own and pull away from him. Sesshomaru graced me with a frustrated look, and I searched his eyes as I asked, "Why?"
His brow furrowed at my inquiry, but he answered, "You are worthy." I jolted at that, the confusion and anxiety putting my adore at bay.
"How can you say that after all you have seen, after all that I have done? Sesshomaru-sama, how could you possibly believe such a thing after what Byakuya showed you? I almost got us both killed." I felt my grip on his tighten in my anxiety and I searched his eyes for some sort of sign that my words had reached him.
"Baka, the vermin only removed the rival from the path of this Sesshomaru." He he raised his hand, bringing mine to his lips, "I was counseled to be patient with you, Donella-san, but you push so hard you make the task impractical." I felt my resistance waning with his words and ministrations to my appendage and I relaxed into his embrace once more. The lad's wantin' ye, should be enough, lass. He cares fer ye and is willin' ta accept ya as is, what more could ye ask from any man? The gentle voice of my grandmother pulled me back out of my lassitude once more.
I'm willing to relent, but not like this. I thought back at them, grinding my teeth against the desire to give into him, and my own passions, I pulled my hand away and pushed on his chest with the other, "Sesshomaru-sama," I looked into his narrowed eyes, realizing my reluctance was trying his patience and bordering on rejection, "I do not wish to refuse you, and I do not deny my desires are the same as yours in this matter." I took a calming breath as he tried to close the gap between us and I rebuffed him again. He let loose a low growl of warning, "If you wish to have me, I am yours, but I cannot go any further until I am done with my training. Until my mind is entirely my own, and not shared with spirits of the past." I pulled my hand from his and placed it gently on his cheek, "I am sure you are well aware I am no blushing maid, but if we do this now, there will be too many onlookers. I want to have that moment, and all the rest, between you and I alone." Heart in my throat I searched his eyes for understanding.
His lids drifted shut. I felt his slow intake of breath, his arm snaked around my waist and he exhaled just as slowly. "Your words are reasonable, Donella-san." He murmured, his voice thick with meaning, he pulled me close and buried his face in the crook of my neck. Mirroring his pose I wrapped my own arms around Sesshomaru and lowered my head to his shoulder. I was content to hold him and be held as we both struggled with the overwhelming force between us. For once, my mind was quiet and the only emotions I felt were my own. Idly I stroked his head letting my fingers run through his silky hair and the contented sounds he made encouraged me to continue.
We remained in that pose for so long I began to drift off to sleep, his soothing breath and warm presence relaxing me despite the tension I had felt earlier. When my hand stilled Sesshomaru spoke, his low voice against my skin quickly bringing me back into reality, "You should sleep."
"Mm, I believe I am already asleep, Sesshomaru-sama, surely this is a dream." I murmured.
"Wagakokoro, if you dream, so does this One." He shifted to look at me and I lifted my head from his shoulder, "It is a reverie this Sesshomaru has had many times of late, and is always reluctant to wake from." His mokomoko shifted around us as he brought his hand up to touch my face and favor me with a gentle look, "This Sesshomaru has come to enjoy your nearness, and rues past instances he squandered such." Words escaped me at his sudden verbosity and uncharacteristic emotive revelation. Instead, I smiled and kissed him softly. Comically, I yawned mid-kiss. Taking my left hand into his I felt the mokomoko shifted again, helping us both to our feet. "Come, Donella-san."
Silently he lead me down the hall to my room, and preceded me in. I don't think I can adequately describe the intense look in his eyes as he untied my obi and divested me of my outer kimono, leaving me my short, linen kosode. The serious expression and the obvious restraint in his movements are hard to explain, the word that comes to mind, even now is, reverence. With the air of ritual he folded the blankets on my futon back and took my hand. Wordlessly I settled onto the bed and allowed him to pull the covers over me, afraid to say a word lest I interrupt the spell we were under.
He gracefully brushed his lips to mine before turning to go. Realizing he was leaving I snatched his empty right sleep and tugged. He gave my renegade hand a disapproving look, but I left him no time for reproach, "Please," I begged, "Stay, at least until I fall asleep, Sesshomaru-sama." I let my hand drop with my words, but my plea had been heard. He folded himself on top of the blankets near me and allowed me to snuggle close to him. "Arigato," I whispered, "Sleep." He replied and I did. The last thing I remember was the razor sharp claws of the daiyokai, ever so softly running through my hair.
Morning brought a disorienting sense of loss and confusion as to if my hyperactive imagination had invented the entire rendezvous with the yokai lord. The only indication I had to the contrary was my attire, I was still in my kosode instead of the yukata I normally slept in, but that was circumstantial evidence at best. Twasn't a dream lass, tread carefully, the man has given ye his heart and doubtin' it would insult that. I groaned against the tone of my grandmother's voice. I'm not doubting him, just my own sanity, alright? Christ on a crutch, it's not like any of this really makes any sense to me yet. I thought crossly back, squeezing my eyes shut irritably.
If'n ye didn't ignored yer betters so much ye'd have ta right of it months ago, ya boggy git. Uacteran growled. I sighed heavily. "Great, everyone has an opinion." I muttered, huffily as I began to dress. "I really wish some days that my life wasn't reality television for ghosts. Are you going to vote me off the island?" I asked crossly. No need ta take that tone, dear, we care fer ya is all and jus wantcha happy, My grandmother soothed, And ta question the lad's devotion now is most certainly not the way ta ensure a happy future. I let a frustrated snarl be my answer as I grumpily made my way to the kitchen to find tea and breakfast.
The day went in a fairly routine fashion. Rin was well recovered from her evening sniffles and so Jaken, she, and I spent the day deciding what foods from the storehouse we could take with us, doing laundry and perusing the travel provisions we had available. I had a sensed that our time at the shiro was limited to days. There was a feeling of expectant restlessness in the atmosphere that denied us sedentary life. My feeling was confirmed when I saw Sesshomaru that evening.
He again appeared in the dojo while I was practicing. Between one kata and the next, my blade encountered another and we were suddenly sparing. Knowing that he would not thank me for worrying about the wound I had caused the previous day I did not hold back. The rhythm of strike, shield, fireball, shield, strike combined with the smooth flow of the sword patterns he had taught me made it less like a battle and more like a dance. I knew his moves, the subtle flexing of muscle that told me what his next attack would be, things an unknown opponent would be incapable of seeing. I found it surprising that even though he was using his full strength and I was fighting with deadly force I had no fear either of us would become seriously injured. Yesterday's incident not with standing, it did not take him long to adapt to the new additions to my familiar tactics. In this we each knew the other so well it was fluid and unstrained. The exercise continued for quite some time, wreaking havoc on the room that contained us; however, a victor was inevitably determined.
Sweaty, with muscles twitching from exhaustion, I stumbled and he pressed the advantage. Falling to my knees, unable to raise a shield his sword struck unerringly toward my chest, it would have been an impaling blow if Tensaiga could kill and Sesshomaru had not checked his motion in time. The sword point stopped mere centimeters from my breastbone. Weakly I looked up from the blade to the daiyokai towering over me and I grinned. "Akirameru, Sesshomaru-sama!" I huffed breathlessly as I let my sword rest on the floor and removed my hand from it, smiling up at him all the while.
"You are not injured." He said matter-of-factly as he performed his chiburi and noto symbolically flicking blood from his blade and smoothly returning it to it's sheath gracefully, even with just one arm, before extending his hand to me.
"I am not harmed." I confirmed as I grasped it and he pulled me to my feet. "Though I will likely be very sore tomorrow, and this dojo looks like it was fire bombed." I laughed with a rueful look around the now destroyed workspace and the smoldering holes where my fire balls had missed my opponent and collided with walls, floor and practice dummies instead. Dropping my hand, Sesshomaru retrieved my sword and held it out to me, waiting for me to go through the motions of sheathing it before he spoke.
"It has served it's purpose, Donella-san, and we shall be leaving this place at dawn to continue our search." His nonplus statement didn't surprise me considering the feelings of restlessness our little band seemed to be sharing.
"I thought as much, Sesshomaru-sama. Everything is prepared for our departure, we will be able to set forth quickly tomorrow." He raised an eyebrow as we exited the dojo and made our way across the courtyard and I laughed, "It should not surprise you that those who follow you would be sensitive to the moods of our lord after such a long time. You are eager to discover the truth behind the meidou, master it, and defeat Naraku. Even Jaken can see that the weather is warming and the shiro would not be safe in your absence, being a beacon for looters or worse, and not easily defensible by just he and myself." I had reached the shiro entrance before I realized that, at some point in my speech, he had stopped walking. I turned back to him in confusion, "Is something wrong, Sesshomaru-sama?"
"Do you truly claim This Sesshomaru as your lord?" The question was asked calmly, with no emotive inflection to betray his mood, but his eyes were intense and expectant. Obviously the answer was important to him, but again I was at a loss to know what he wished me to say, I sighed heavily as I closed the short gap between us, never taking my eyes from his intense face.
"Ever since I fell through that hole and found myself in this place, you have provided me with aid, even when you did not wish to. After Byakuya's first attach you have protected me, provided for me, trained me and have allowed me to remain at your side even though to do so impedes your cause. If I have ever owed anyone my loyalty and devotion it is you," I took a deep breath, rallying my courage. I held his gaze as I boldly invaded his space, placing one hand tentatively on his hip and the other on his forearm. My daring was rewarded when he put his hand on my waist, giving me the spirit to continue, "And even if last night was a dream, I can not find it in me to continue hiding how I care for you and the joy I feel every moment you allow me to be near you. In my heart you are my lord, but if you do not wish me to say such things I won't, Sesshomaru-sama." My voice was trembling with suppressed emotion as I finished and it was becoming hard to meet his cryptic stare and not turn away.
His answer was not long in coming though, in the space of one shuddering exhale and the intake of a shaky breath he had pulled me close and captured my lips with his. I smiled when he finally let me up for air, "Oh, I'm totally interpreting that as approval, My Lord."
"Impertinent as always." He replied and my respondent laugh was interrupted by another passionate kiss, which was intern discontinued by the inarticulate, malcontent screech of a flabbergasted kappa. I felt Sesshomaru smirk briefly against my mouth at the sound before he raised his head and addressed Jaken with signature stoic mask in place, "Jaken, have you prepared a bath for Donella-san?"
The flustered imp made a few tongue-tied noises before he finally squeaked out, "Y-yes, My Lord."
"Then you will busy yourself with preparing an evening meal, Donella-san has had an exhausting afternoon and needs time to recover before she tells her tales." Jaken seemed to be suffering from hysteria induced aphonia, after a few squeaks and squawks he managed to nod and scamper way from the scene his mind was not ready to interpret. I waited until the door closed before I laughed.
"Poor Jaken, you are going to be the death of him."
"Hm," he replied before he gave my hip a gentle squeeze and released me, "Go bathe," the command was almost teasing and I gave him a flirty grin and a wink before I left him.
A/N: Wow, it took a while to get this chapter out, I console myself that it wasn't five years in the wait, but still, thank you for your continued patience, amazing reviews, helpful comments and encouragement! Poor Sesshomaru, now that the damn has burst he is loosing patience fast, he's not a man who is happy to tread water when the shore is so close at hand... It was hard to write the fluff and not go OC, as always damn tight lipped dog fights me for ever sentence, thinking actions are better than words, but he's learning not to scare the girl. Mean while there are things that he would delight in hearing, if he wasn't so enigmatic about his insecurities... And Donella! Geez what an obstinate wretch! :-D
Vocabulary:
Horigotatsu: Predecessor to the modern kotatsu: a low, wooden table frame covered by a futon, or heavy blanket, upon which a table top sits, underneath is a heat source, often built into the table itself.
Baka: Fool, idiot, dumb ass
Akirameru: I give up; I resign myself: I surrender.
Chiburi: The ritualistic motion of flicking blood from one's blade before putting it the sheath.
Noto: The precise, almost ritualistic motion of returning a blade to it's sheath after chiburi.
Wagakokoro: My heart (romantic not referring to the organ which is shinzou.)