Warning: The F bomb is dropped in this chapter, I repeat, the F bomb is dropped in this chapter. This is not a drill!
It had taken Arthur the better part of three hours to fully clean up the kitchen, and by the time he had finally finished a TAP, TAP, TAP made him jump a foot in the air. Not again…not another crazy person. He braced himself for the worst as he padded over to the back door. But he sighed in relief just as soon as he saw Pepper through the tiny window. He yanked the door open and she pulled him into a hug.
"Miss me?" she asked, smirking at him. He nodded, but truthfully, he hadn't thought much about her these last days, he had been a bit preoccupied, but she didn't need to know that. She kissed him, hungrily and dragged him to the sitting room. They sat on the sofa now, the telly on some sort of sports channel, Arthur couldn't get a good enough view to see just what. Pepper attacked his mouth with kisses and he, still a little out of it all, only kissed back loosely.
"Must have really missed me," he only got out a bit of cheek, as she sucked a spot on his neck, normally, he would have liked this, but due to the crazy man currently in his bedroom, things were not getting so hot for Arthur. She let out a sound that sounded like 'mmm' and went back to his mouth, her hands running up his thighs to his…he pushed her hands away. Yeah, this wasn't happening, not with Merlin in the next room. This was not sexy or exciting, he tried to push her off a bit, but she and her tongue had other ideas.
Just then, to Arthur's utter horror, his bedroom door creaked open and then a gasp. Damn it, Arthur thought. Pepper finally pulled away then, jumping up, looking a tad bit (a lot) embarrassed. Arthur jumped up next to her and gulped, looking back at Merlin, whose mouth hung open.
"Arthur, you didn't tell me you had a guest!" Pepper glared at him, her voice was high pitched and Arthur thought, if he dare speak, he'd probably sound like that too. So, he shrugged. "I'm Pepper," she said, walking over to Merlin and holding out her hand. "You are?"
"Merlin," he said, looking at her then back at Arthur. He shook her hand gently, eyes now stuck permanently on Arthur.
"Forgive me, but how long have you known Arthur? I've never seen you before," Pepper said and Merlin shrugged this time.
"I've known him a long time, "he took in a shaky breath and turned back to the bedroom. "Excuse me."
He left and Arthur felt his heart drop, this was ridiculous, he shouldn't feel this guilty for making out with this own girlfriend! He looked back at Pepper now and she was smiling at him.
"Should've told me you had someone over, perv!" she told him, smacking his arm.
"S-sorry, I uh…forgot."
"Sure you did," she giggled, kissing his cheek. "I'll just go, call you later."
She winked at him, which singled what kind of call she would be making later and Arthur felt gutted with guilt again. He walked her to the door, kissed her goodbye, and then watched her go. This was just…he didn't have words, but he was fed up, he couldn't have a life anymore, nothing was normal anymore. Arthur just wanted to be a normal guy, who went to Uni, did his homework, and had lots of sex with his girlfriend and not baby sit some off his rocker, crack job. Who claimed that Arthur was some dead king. He locked the door in a raged snap and turned back, stomping into the bedroom. Merlin lie on the bed again, this time he was actually turned, facing away from the door.
"Merlin!" Arthur barked. He didn't move. "Merlin, god damn it, I know you can hear me!"
Merlin turned back, looking utterly broken; tears welled in his red, puffy eyes. Arthur froze then, how could he be mad at him? He was out of his mind, had talked himself into some fantasy world. He tried to stay mad, but it fled him like a scared little girl, he sighed.
"I-"
"I'm sorry Arthur," he said, here we go with the sorries again. "I ruined your night, I just…I tried not to be jealous." Merlin sighed. "You never knew, but sometimes I got so jealous of Gwen. Here," he paused, sighing again. "I didn't think it'd be different, I know better than that. But seeing you with her, I don't know, I…"
"She didn't know you were here, I hadn't told her yet."
"Not that she gave you much of a chance, with her tongue in your mouth!" Merlin snapped suddenly and Arthur froze again, anger refilling him a bit. None of that was Merlin's business.
"She's my girlfriend!"
"Yeah, kind of figured that out, with, you know…her tongue in your mouth and all!"
"No one asked you to come out, no one asked you to come here at all!" Arthur yelled, all the anger back and in full force. "No one asked you to ruin my life!"
"Ruin your life?" Merlin yelled back. "I've waited over one thousand fucking years for you!"
"What the hell are you even talking about, you nut job?" Arthur went on shouting; he was tired of this; tired of walking on eggshells around Merlin. He didn't care if Merlin was crazy, he just wanted to be normal again. "You are what? Twenty something? Grow up and get your head out of your ass!"
Merlin sat up then, glaring something fierce, but Arthur wasn't scared, even as the light seemed to grow around Merlin, as he looked near raging.
"I wasted ten years protecting your ass for you to die and now, to not even remember who the hell I am!" he yelled. "And I'm ruining your life? I've lost everything because of you!"
"Well, I'm just so fucking sorry!" Arthur yelled back, heading toward the door. He wrenched it open with fury; he stormed out then, slamming the door behind him. He leaned against it, teeth clenched. He hadn't been this angry in, maybe forever. He took in a deep breath, trying to make his chest untighten. What a loon, he thought; he should kick him out, send him packing. He didn't need an insane, nut job like that in his life. He had been perfectly fine without him, hell, he had been happy. Life was good, until Merlin showed up.
Arthur went and sat on the sofa again, he took in a few slow breaths, calming his quick heart rate. Anger was leaving and more guilt took its place, Arthur preferred the anger. Maybe he shouldn't have shouted at him, Merlin wasn't in his right mind after all. Shouting at him might prompt him to kill himself or something. Arthur thought of going back in there, telling Merlin he was sorry and that he was wrong, but didn't, his pride got in the way. He wasn't about to go and admit he was wrong, hell no!
Just then, the small, creak of the door made him stop his bruiting. He sat stilled, biting down on his lip, hearing Merlin's small steps toward him. He wasn't sure what to do or what Merlin wanted, if he planned to just finally axe Arthur off or if he wanted to yell some more, Arthur couldn't blame him either way.
"Arthur..." he trailed off, attentively. Arthur looked over; he tried to show him he wasn't so mad anymore with a small smile. Merlin seemed to get the message and, quickly, came and sat down next to him. "Arthur, I've been an ass."
Arthur chuckled, "Not really, I've been the ass."
Merlin chuckled this time.
"You don't know why, but it's nice to hear you admit that," Merlin said, smiling. Arthur smiled back. "I need to explain, I think," Merlin told him then, smile falling fast. "I know who you are, Arthur, but you don't, maybe you need time, or maybe you never will figure it out, but-"
"Merlin, "Arthur stopped him. "I know you think I'm your King Arthur, but I'm not, I'm just-"
"I know you are, though…I don't want to talk about that right now," Merlin said. "I just want you to know, I'll leave now, if that's what you want."
Arthur stare at him, a bit ago, that's what he had wanted, but now; how could he just let him go? Merlin was clearly ill, whether he wanted to admit it or not. It was probably worse that he didn't want to. Denial.
"I don't want you to leave."
Merlin's smile grew fast and, looked rather painful to hold. Arthur smiled at this.
"I…Arthur, this isn't going to get any easier," Merlin stated then, frowning once more. "I'm lost when it comes to you now, in this world, I…I'm in love with you, or at least who you were before and…and I don't know what to do, my emotions are all over the place and-"
"That's alright, we'll…we'll work through that," Arthur tried, but Merlin just shook his head.
"I've been in love with you for so long, so very long, Arthur," tears welled in Merlin's eyes again and he took in a sharp breath. "I don't know how not to be in love with you and I can't…I don't want to ruin things for you and that girl. She did seem lovely, really, even if she did need to keep her tongue to herself."
Arthur laughed, "You aren't going to ruin things for me. Maybe you did tonight, but they were already ruined before you came out, so it didn't make much difference."
"I don't want to ruin your life, Arthur."
"You're not going to, I was being a dick before," Arthur said, reaching out, tensely and tapped Merlin on the knee. "I didn't mean anything I said before."
"I didn't mean the things I said either, well...I did a bit, but, I'm old…kind of grumpy sometimes too."
"You don't look old," Arthur smirked and Merlin rolled his eyes.
"Even so, I look older than you."
"Yeah, well…"
"I stopped aging at twenty-eight," Merlin stated. "That's when you died, you were older than me, thirty. I can change my age with magic, but I'd rather not."
"Magic?" Arthur asked. "Well, that explains a lot."
Merlin smiled, probably glad Arthur wasn't trying to talk him out of his deranged illusions, and they were pretty deranged, Arthur thought.
"Merlin," Arthur said, Merlin looked up at him, biting his lip. "You know I don't think I'm your king." Merlin nodded. "But maybe I am, who knows, there might be such things as past lives. But maybe, instead of trying to bring him back, you could get to know me, this me..."
"I would like that, actually."
"You would?"
"Yes, I would like that a lot."
Arthur grinned and patted Merlin on the back.
"I'm not that bad of a guy, I promise."
"And I promise you, I'm not that crazy."
(A/N: I know I'm a day late, sorry! I didn't like this chapter much, it kind of sucked. I hope my F bombs didn't offend you. I got a comment talking about my Merlin characterization and I just want to address that for a second. I'm not mad or anything, so don't think that. I just want to say that Merlin is the way I want him to be in this story, it's been over 1000 years since he's seen Arthur, his emotions are running amuck and he's been alone for so long (which you find out more about later.) And you know, you are seeing this in Arthur's POV, this is how Arthur is seeing him and I know he seems one step from the edge of a cliff but as the fic goes on that gets better. So yeah, that's all. I do love comments, someone please tell me this chap doesn't suck as much as I thought it did.)