Dear Diary,

I'm sorry my old friend I have neglected you so long. I've been in a funk lately, out of sorts, and not altogether myself. Even now I don't know if I should scream, run, tuck and cover, or thank my lucky stars.

None of these are emotions I'd expected to have on my wedding day. Just yesterday I thought I was okay with this, no jitters, no anything really. Today, it's a completely different story. I keep breaking out in cold sweats, burning up one minute, and shaking freezing the next. Hope I'm not getting sick.

My mouth goes dry for apparently no reason whatsoever,and it becomes hard to swallow. My legs feel like Jello. I had imagined this day feeling more like a natural high, with fireworks, never wanting it to end.

Funny thing is, the last part is still true, the never wanting it to end part. If it doesn't end I won't really be married right?. Where is some Black Rose Wine when a girl needs it?

I remember once when I asked someone for advice they answered, "What advice would you give your daughter if it were her?" Isn't it funny how when put into that perspective, your whole outlook or view of things changes?

I know what I'd tell my baby girl. "If you aren't sure run, never just settle!" However every situation is different, and sometimes circumstances need to be taken into consideration.

I have to think for two now. Damon left me this beautiful treasure. Oops, did I really just say that name? I meant to say HIM, but you won't tell anyone will you.

I wish my Mom was here. She always knew the perfect thing to say. I actually went to their grave today. I guess I had hoped a lightning bolt would come out of nowhere, or words would be suddenly written in the sky. At this point, I would even settle for an arrow pointing the way. No such luck.

So this must be it..my destiny. I know Stefan will be a good provider, even if he doesn't go about it conventionally. We will never go without. He's plenty capable of protecting us. I'd actually almost feel bad for any burglar dumb enough to break into our home. There's that word.."OUR". Boy that's a hard one. It doesn't flow easily off my lips. It always feels somewhat forced, like I'm play acting.

Speaking of which, that's exactly how it feels right now. Like I'm a little girl playing dress up, in my mother's dress and shoes. Right down to the pink lipstick. The day has a rather surreal feel to it.

My hair is swept up in a twist bun, and today I put back on my Vervain filled necklace. That might sound odd to wear on a day like today, but it is an antique after all. The "something old" part I have at least,even if I'm skipping the rest of the tradition.

I keep fantasizing the scenes from Run-a-way Bride. Think any mail trucks will be coming by? The morning hours seemed to speed on by, however now that I'm here in the little Korean church ( the only one Stefan could get on short notice, and on a Wednesday. One that I didn't have to worry would put an announcement on their sign outside, and end up having half of Fell's Church showing up uninvited.) time seems unbearably slow. Time to think only adds to my anxiety level.

That's where you come in. Sorry to use you in this way, but hey what type of girl would I be if I didn't turn to my good friend and document the day my life will change forever. Good or bad, after today, I'll never be the same.

At that very moment there was a light tapping on her dressing room door.

" Go away Stefan, you aren't suppose to see me in my dress!"

A small voice answered her " Mam, gentleman say he Urgent to speak at you. Told him you busy like you say, but he not leave." It was the pastor's wife. "You want me get you's husband?"

Elena opened the door and told the woman "No No that won't be necessary, send whomever it is on up."

Who could it be Elena wondered, it was obviously neither Stefan, nor Mat as the pastor's wife had been introduced to them both?

Elena's heart was beating wildly in her throat, as Bonnie stepped in asking " What's going on?"