Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough
20 weeks
Eli is sitting with Corny trying to study but Madison and J.B. keep talking.
He tries to say something on to be cut off by Ms. Hauser.
"So, what? Only the kids playing with the scissors and the glue can talk?" he snarks,
"Your student council is working very hard to raise money for your senior trip." Ms. Hauser says.
She walks in at that moment.
"Their senior trip. The rest of us want to go to Magic Mountain." he says as she sits down in his lap much to Ms. Hauser's ire.
She places his hand on her stomach when the baby starts kicking.
"It's Catalina. And you're crazy. I am not spending my senior trip watching you hurl hot dog and orange drink off Batman: The Ride." Madison says snidely.
She ignores her as Corny asks to feel.
She takes his hand as Eli moves his so he can feel the kick.
"That is cool." Corny whispers.
Madison stalks out when everyone stops paying any attention to her.
Jackie is subjected to taunts from Dick and others about her father and the bus crash.
She keeps her head up.
"Jackie! Jackie, hey! Wait up!" Cora calls.
"Sorry. I was distracted by the pitchforks and torches." Jackie says.
"So how are you?" Cora asks.
"I'm wondering if this counts as my fifteen minutes of fame. And if so, what does the child of an alleged murderer wear to winter carnival?" she snarks.
"No one expects you to go."
Madison comes upon them and is particularly obnoxious about Jackie going, telling her not to because she'll ruin everything.
Keith is surprised to see Terrence Cook in the office.
He wants to consult him.
There are booths and activities set up outside the main building. People are wandering about enjoying the events. Madison and another girl are selling pies for the pep squad.
Veronica is manning the FBLA booth, selling slushies.
"Slushies! Get your ice cold frozen...sugar water." she calls unenthusiastic.
"You had me at ice cold." Logan says coming over.
"What's your poison?" she says.
"Let's see...uh, I want something that suits my mood." Logan says looking at the flavors.
"Oooh, I'm sorry. We're all out of liquid evil." she says with a girn.
"I'll take two of whatever will turn my tongue blue."
"Hot date?"
"I'll let you know." he says taking out a fifty.
"There's a fifty dollar bill?" she jokes.
"Had them made special." he says as he picks up his drinks.
Logan's presence attracts a few more customers, and he leaves her to it.
"The hoi polloi. They don't know what they want until I have it."
Eli is walking around with Ophelia.
"Okay, you want balloons or something to eat?" he asks.
"Balloons and Auntie." she says jumping up and down.
"You say that now, then it's Oh, Uncle Eli, I'm so hungry!" Eli says paying for a balloon and hands it to Ophelia.
"Auntie?" Wallace says softly as he and Jane walk by.
"That's so cute." Jane says looking behind them.
"You do know she talking about Veronica, right?"
"Yeah, honestly I'm surprised that Veronica doesn't have a ring on her finger. Anyone can see how much he loves her."
He just smiles and holds her hand.
Dick and Logan wander around with their slushies.
Dick spots Cassidy and Mac walking around holding hands.
"Why is the Beav all snuggly with that chick from Ghost World?" Dick says staring at them.
"Don't let Ronnie hear you calling her best bud that." Logan says with a smirk.
"Shit." Dick says suddenly fearful and looking around.
"So are we winning?" Mac says as the walk.
"What?" Cassidy asks.
"I feel like we're in a contest with all the other couples , who can hold hands longest." Mac says with a grin.
"Wow. You guys are cute. Aren't they? Like gerbils. In love." Dick says as he and Logan come over to them.
"Dickie, don't." Cassidy says quietly.
"Chill, Beav. I get to give the big brother speech here. Just lookin' out for you." Dick says.
"You don't have to worry. He's fine." mac says.
"Yeah? Good hands? 'Cause, you gotta take it easy on my bro. If you're gonna pop his cherry, hold back a little."
"Dick, haven't you been warned." Felix says as he slams his hand on Dick's shoulder.
"Ahhh, huh?" Dick says.
Logan, Mac and Cassidy are trying not to laugh.
"Blondie, sent me with a message. Back off, be nice or she will ruin you." Felix says with a grin. Logan walks off laughing.
"See you later, Beaver. Ghost World." Dick says nearly running off.
"Enjoy, guys." Felix says to them.
"Okay, you are right, she is Bond." Cassidy says.
"This school genuinely sucks." Jackie says coming over to the slushie booth.
"True dat." she agrees. Rubbing her lower back.
"You okay?" Jackie asks concerned.
"I'm fine. Just my back is not liking all the standing that I have been doing today."
"They couldn't even give you a chair."
"That would require Ms. Hauser to like me." she mumbles seeing the teacher coming to collect money.
She tires to quickly get it together as Ms. Hauser approaches.
Jackie wanders off.
J.B. approaches Mrs. Hauser and asks for her keys so that he can get the staple gun to fix a falling sign. She happily hands them over, remarking on his reliability.
She hands over the cash, which Ms. Hauser adds to the cash box she is carrying.
Just then, a number of boys streak naked through the carnival, to the amusement of some and the intense irritation of Mrs. Hauser, who thrusts the cash box at her, asking her to hold on to it while she runs to find Clemmons.
She places the box in the cupboard, sliding the door closed.
"Hey mama." Thumper says as he and Marisol stop to talk to her. Wallace and jane stop by as well.
"Where's Weevil?" Marisol asks.
"Walking around with Ophelia until I'm done."
Ms. Hauser returns and asks for the cash box.
She slides open the door. The cash box is gone. She reaches to the back. There's a sliding door on the other side.
"In less than three minutes, Veronica Mars has lost all the senior trip money." Ms. Hauser says to Clemmons as he comes over.
"Is that a record?" she snarks
"Why are we standing here chatting? She should be searched." Ms. Hauser states.
"It's a metal box, this big. Where exactly do you think I hid it?" she says.
Thumper has to grab Marisol when Ms. Hauser lowers her eyes at V's stomach.
Jane does the same thing with Wallace
"It's a locked box. We have metal detectors, place them at the exit to stop anyone from leaving with it." she says glaring at Ms. Hauser.
Clemmons agrees, having already ensured that all the rooms with tools that might open the cash box have been locked.
"You want to save yourself some time? Start with her. We all saw her, lurking around." Madison states coming over.
"Lurking? Uh, you mean, standing while black?" Jackie says coldly.
Logan approaches a booth and flirts with the young blonde, Hannah, manning it with her friends.
He eventually wins a stuffed toy, which he gives to her.
"Hey, querida." Eli says as she sits down with him and Ophelia.
"Auntie." Ophelia says hugging her.
He picks up her Powerpuff Girls backpack and unzips it.
"Why?" she asks looking at him.
"So you can honestly say that there isn't a cash box in here. The news has made its way around. I don't want someone to try to frame you or me."
Leaning over Ophelia, who is munching her popcorn, she gives him a kiss.
"Go to work, baby." he whispers, knowing that she wouldn't be able to sit and relax until she knew what happened to the cash box.
Terrence believes Lamb is using him as a scapegoat because Terrence is working to support Woody's incorporation plan which will leave the sheriff without much of a job.
Terrence says that he saw the kids on the day of the bus crash and that he signed baseballs and the like.
Lamb's forensic specialists have found cell phone and baseball fragments embedded in the driver's body.
Lamb believes that Terrence planted the ball in a bag and detonated it by calling the cell phone.
Terrence wants him to prove that he had nothing to do with the bus crash.
She heads back to the slushie booth, which Cassidy is now manning. Mac is keeping him company.
He is struggling with the machine.
"You need to use the screwdriver to break up the ice." she tells him.
"I let Jackie borrow it." he says motioning to Jackie, who is disappearing into the school.
"Jackie?" she calls entering the bathroom, she can hear scraping sounds.
'Be right out." Jackie calls coming out of one of the stalls in a bikini.
She hands Veronica the screwdriver.
She looks at the back of the door to find that Jackie has scrapped off something written.
"You know something funny, I signed up for the dunk tank with one five dollars since the person chosen was on how much money they raised. I went from last to the top in less than a day." Jackie says.
"I'm sorry. Just remember in less than a year, nothing these people think will matter." she says.
"Yeah but did you care when those same people were talking about your dad, did you care?"
Jackie arrives at the dunk tank, and after a brief word with Cora confirming her resolve, she climbs into the tank.
The first customer shouts that one of his friends was on the bus and throws the ball hard at the target, dunking her.
She climbs back up stoically and is dunked again by his second ball.
She watches as Jackie remains emotionless as she gets dunked again and again.
She sends out a couple test before she turns away.
Keith gets a couple of beers out of the refrigerator.
He tells Terrence that he was a big fan and followed his career. Terrence hopes he still has one.
He asks him about Ms. Dumass, showing him the photograph.
He tells Terrence that if he wants his help, Terrence will have to be a lot more up front with him.
At the dunk tank, Wallace, with Jane in tow, takes his turn.
Jackie is a little devastated and fights to maintain her courage.
Wallace aims, then deliberately throws high, sending the ball over the roof of the booth. Causing a car alarm to go off. Cora smiles.
The baying crowd is disappointed.
Wallace does the same with the next ball but is moved on before he can do anymore.
This happens again as Felix, Thumper and other members of PCH do the same thing.
Jackie is thankful for the water so that none of them can tell that she is crying softly.
Hannah is paying for her confection. Logan comes up behind her and grabs some of her cotton candy.
"Hey!" Hannah says.
"Hey. Sorry, did you want that? I couldn't help but notice that you are separated from the herd. I'm concerned, you know, predators and all that." Logan says flirtingly.
"Well, I can take care of myself."
"Well, that's a shame. My friend Dick's workin' the slushie booth. We should go pay him a someone to wash this down."
"I can't. I'm here with my friends." Hannah says.
"Go tell 'em you want to play with me for a little while." he says with a smirk.
She agrees.
Back at the dunk tank, night has now fallen, and Jackie is shivering.
Madison throws but misses. Her second ball in hand walks into the booth, pushes the target with the ball, dumping Jackie in the water.
The crowd laughs.
Turning around she notices the ball pit. She tells Clemmons and suggests that they empty it.
Mrs. Hauser is skeptical and a little triumphant when, having emptied the pit, she is proved wrong.
She can't understand why Clemmons listens to her.
A girl whispers in Clemmons ear. She has video footage of the carnival.
Clemmons has gathered together all the likely suspects; that is, those who were in the vicinity right before the cash box disappeared.
These are J.B., Madison, Elil, Dick, and Jackie.
Their lockers are being searched.
"Even if you found money, there's really no way of proving that it's the stolen money." J.B. says.
"Not a lot of people carry twelve grand on them." Ms. Hauser states.
"Uh, I never leave the house without at least thirteen." Dick says.
"Yeah. Me either." Eli says.
She sits on the couch with Ophelia in her lap.
"I recieved a fifty dollar bill that had the name 'Nancy' and phone number on it." she states.
Clemmons plays the tape, but it does not show much of interest, except to Mrs. Hauser, who alights with some glee on Jackie's bag, carried under her coat.
"My gym bag, with my suit and towel." Jackie states.
Ms. Hauser is skeptical and rude, accusing her of being trash.
Logan and Hannah are sitting in the Bounce House.
"Look, just so you know, I take all my dates here. I don't want you to think you're special or anything." Logan says.
"Ah, this isn't a date."
"Um, I bought you a drink. And I won you a stuffed animal. Check your dictionary."
"I haven't had a date yet. I'm kind of holding out for something special."
Dick is manning the slushie booth, talking to Madison.
"Oh look at him. have I taught him nothing? He's like some..neutered eunuch nerd." Dick says motioning to his brother and mac, who are sitting at a table.
They are poring over Mac's laptop.
The couple is giggling at the entries, including one for Bambi_Gasm.
Terrence and him have moved to the small couch.
Terrence explains about Ms. Dumass: she was supposed to be a final fling and turned into Fatal Attraction.
She followed him to Neptune and broke up his engagement to another woman.
She is stumped.
She looks up at the flagpole and has an idea.
"What wrong, querida?" Eli asks as he and Ophelia come up to her.
"I can't figure this out."
"You know all of my boys have keys to autoshop, actually everyone is auto has a copy of the keys." he tells her.
Clemmons uses bolt cutters to break off the padlocks on the lockers.
He searches and finds $3,000 in Hector's locker, together with a bag containing what appear to be drugs.
One of the bills is marked with the name "Nancy" and a telephone number.
She is surprised at this but covers it.
She notices one of the other lockers, not broken into, which has no padlock.
Clemmons is satisfied that they have found the culprit.
A further search for the rest of the money reveals a wooden paddle with numbers and letters neatly engraved on its surface.
It is unclear which locker this comes from. Clemmons takes it from her before she can get a good look.
She thanks her lucky stars that she had the foresight to get her keys copied as she breaks into the principal's office again.
She finds the paddle and identifies the engraving as a list of license plate numbers.
She heads for the copy machine to take a copy.
In the machine she finds a copy of Mrs. Hauser's health test, which is due to be taken the following week and worth 30% of the grade for the year.
She smiles and puts it in her pocket.
She copies the paddle.
She comes across Jackie in the hallway.
"Great news: you didn't steal the senior trip money."
"Uh, good to know." Jackie says confused.
"Hey, I'm about to watch Mrs. Hauser squirm in her own personal hell. If you're not doing anything..."
They go to Ms. Hausers classroom.
Veronica asks for a moment alone with him in the hallway, after which time she knows he will confess.
"Look who I found: Miss Trashy-Trash. We marked your words before, and I don't know if you know this, but they formed this, like, totally false accusation. I know. Yikes. I figured you might welcome the opportunity to apologize." she snarks at the teacher.
"Youdidn'tstealthemoneyI'msorry." Ms. Hauser says quickly.
"I found this in the copy machine." she says pulling out the test.
"Where did you get this? This is my exam." Ms. Hauser exclaims.
"In. The. Copy. Machine. Am I still speaking English?" she says looking at Jackie.
"Mm-hm." Jackie says hiding a smile.
"Who has your code for the copier."
Ms. Hauser looks over at J.B.
"She's trying to sabotage me. I am like this close to beating her out for the Kane Scholarship. This is just like the stuff that she does. She planted it." J.B. protests.
"And for my next trick! I will take J.B. into the hallway, whisper a few magic words, and when we return, he'll confess." she says motioning to the hall.
"Yeah, that'll happen." J.B. snarks.
"Don't oversell it, J.B. People will think you're a mark." she says pulling him into the hallway.
She tells J.B. that she knows that he is a Triton, showing him one of the pictures she took the previous year, and, as such, he knew when they would do their naked run.
He timed his borrowing of Mrs. Hauser's keys accordingly.
"That still doesn't prove..."
"I bet if we check the copy machine log, it will tell us that the copies with made with Ms. Hauser's code at say 4:03, 4:04 P.M. Should we ask?"
"You're bluffing. The copy machine can't do that."
"Well, here's your choice. You can call my bluff, and we'll all find out exactly what the copy machine can do. Of course, if you choose that option, I'm posting this Tritons photo on your homepage. I've heard what happens to Tritons who reveal their secrets."
"I don't have a homepage."
"You will."
They return to the room.
"I stole the test." J.B. says after a moment.
"TA DAAAA!" she cries out.
Mrs. Hauser desperately tries to ascertain if J.B. was coerced, she notices a footprint in the glitter on the desk.
She looks up at the ceiling above the desk, she tapes Jackie's arm and Jackie gets on top of the desk and moves the ceiling tile.
She pull out an envelope containing a wad of cash.
When asked how she knew it was there, she points to the distinctive footprint of a heeled shoe.
It's a perfect match to Mrs. Hauser's shoe.
She protests that she has been walking in glitter all day.
Clemmons takes the money and Mrs. Hauser to his office, commenting that this is a prime example of why he considers the advice of some of his students.
"Buck up, Maddie. Senior trip is back on, sister, six grand! We're Magic Mountain-bound! Oh, you know there's a ride called the Viper, right? Isn't that, like, your mothership?" she says as she and Jackie leave the room.
"Madison. What you up to, girl? Feel like headin' to my car for a quickie?" Dick says as he walks to his car.
"I've moved on to older men, Dick. Fewer quickies, more longies." Madison states walking off.
Uncaring he walks to his car to find a woman adjusting her thigh-highs.
"The bad thing about thigh-highs." the woman states taking her foot off his car.
"Yeah. There's nothing bad about thigh-highs." Dick states, checking out her legs.
"I'm waiting to pick up my daughter."
"You mean, your sister."
"I mean my stepdaughter. I tend to marry older men, then I mess around with the younger ones."
"Nice."
"You know, I, I have another half hour to kill. I get the feeling that you're fantastic at killing time." the woman says coming onto him. They disappear into his car.
Logan and Hannah walk along the cars. Waiting for her dad to come pick her up.
They arrange a date for Saturday and Logan kisses her just as the car collecting her arrives. The driver is Dr. Tom Griffith.
Logan opens the car door for her.,
He bends down to show himself, giving the stunned doctor a knowing wave.
Back in Dick's car, all hell breaks loose as Dick bolts out of the back seat. Wiping his mouth and spitting, horrified.
"What the hell was that? What is that?" Dick exclaims.
"What do you call yours?"
He looks over to see Mac and his brother waving lighters in the air.
Logan observes too, amused.
Dick is furious and heads straight for Cassidy, grabbing him by the throat, pushing him back down on a car and pulling back his fist to pummel the life out of him.
"Heel boy." he hears behind him.
He turns to find Ronnie and Weevil with a little kid.
"I belive you were told to be nice."
"I..."
"Warned you." Logan says grabbing him and taking him to his car.
He has fun telling Terrence about the time he got the ball from one of Terrence's home runs.
Terrence is impressed, because he only hit three.
Terrence makes to leave, assuming he will take his case.
He won't because Terrence is still not coming clean.
He plays him part of the conversation between Terrence and Lamb, the part about Terrence doing favors for gentlemen who bet extensively on baseball.
Terrence wilts and tells him that two of the Fitzpatricks broke in to collect money.
Leslie Dumass overheard something that would ruin Terrence. She told him that if he ever left her, she would sell the story. What she heard was that Terrence threw an important game to wipe out a gambling debt.
Terrence sadly gets up to leave.
He tells him of his rates.
Terrence can't believe that he is willing to take his case now.
He still believes that Terrence wouldn't kill a bus full of kids.
She's sitting on the hood of her car when Eli pulls in next to her.
She tells him that she made up the name and number on the fifty dollar bill. He smiles and tells her that she has some skill.
She tells him that the sheriff let Hector go because the pills weren't illegal drugs. However his mother is on a rampage.
"Figured a pissed off mother at the possibility of him selling would help. He ended things with Molly too. I haven't figured out her end game yet."
"Give it time. Now you want to tell me where you hide the money." she says as he pulls her into a hug.
"Ophelia's backpack and the ball pit. She thought it was a game of hide n seek with you. I planted the money and pills in Hector's locker while you drained the ball pit. I love the boy but he needed to have his head put on straight."
"Using my niece." she snarks as he covers her mouth with a kiss that takes her breath away.
"So, was it your undying love for me, or just good old-fashioned lust?"
"Que?"
"That kept you from turning me in."
"Love... Of rollercoasters."
"Oh that was cruel." he laughs.
"Love..always." she says brushing a kiss on his lips.