Everything moved very quickly after I emptied the clip of the Bloody Rose into Aika's head. Someone was pulling the gun out of my hand and steering me away from Aika, who already had several vampires jumping on her body to start tearing it apart and destroying it. I supposed the Bloody Rose weakened her enough that she didn't even need to be dealt with by another pureblood after all. Aido was being pulled another direction by Kaname, I presume to be checked for mind control or interrogated for information. It finally registered that the person pulling me along was Headmaster Cross, who was gently guiding me outside into the crisp night air.

He rubbed my upper arms gently as he stared at my face, probably assessing me for shock. "That was quite brave of you in there - are you alright?"

I just helped kill a pureblood vampire, I told a certain vampire genius aristocrat that I love him to no reaction, and I don't even know if my friends are alive. And he wants to know if I'm "alright".

Well you're physically okay.

Yeah, there's that.

"I'm fine, thank you." I wiped my face clean of tear tracks, and prayed no more followed.

"The reason Kaname was late to the soirée is because I had him meet me at my office last minute. We found a spell."

I gasped. "You did?" I was beginning to think that book that Cross had had shipped in by a colleague was going to ultimately yield nothing.

"We were originally going to wait until after the soirée as to not interrupt you... but now seems like a good time don't you think?"

I looked back at the building where I saw Aido standing with his arms folded, nodding along to something Kaname was saying. He was probably being told the same thing I was. I watched his eyes widen and his gaze dart over to me, with emotions across running across his face that I couldn't identify. I looked down. I couldn't look at him right now. Not when my heart still felt so broken.

I nodded slowly. I spared Aido one last glance, wondering if I should ask for some time to say goodbye.

But then I realized that it wouldn't matter, as it was just going to be closure I didn't remember. My heart ached at the thought. I averted my gaze to the ground. I wasn't even sure if Aido would want to talk to me after I threw my confession of my love for him at Aika while she was threatening to make Aido kill me. Another tear rolled down my face without my permission, and I harshly wiped it with the rough sleeve of my dress. The irritated spot burned in the cold night air as I resumed paying attention to Headmaster Cross, who was now trying to get me to walk with him. I nodded along obediently as we walked to his office. My legs surprised me by carrying the weight of my body, when all my mind felt like doing was collapsing.

"I really am sorry about this, Kisa-chan. It just really is the better option." Headmaster Cross said woefully.

"No need to be sorry." I murmured, praying my voice didn't betray the bevy of emotion flowing through me.

Maybe this will help us too. My inner thought, trying to be positive. Maybe we won't love Aido anymore, then we won't have those feelings to contend with. We won't be lying to Akane, Rei... we'll be virtually stress-free after this.

If it works. I thought back. Maybe this spell will just be too strong and I'll die instead. Maybe I'd prefer that.

My inner fell silent, and I curled my arms around myself to keep from falling apart.

"You looked nice this evening, Kisa-chan." Headmaster Cross said kindly, nodding at my clothes. "Did Aido-kun tell you so?"

I nodded, and smiled in what I hoped wasn't too wistful of an expression. "Yeah, he did."

Did he mean it though?

Don't take this away from me.

"That's good. I was beginning to think that boy didn't have a single gentlemanly bone in his body!" Cross laughed, clearly trying to lighten the mood. The best I could offer was a sad smile and a shrug.

Cross' laughter died and he became solemn. "I'm sorry. That joke was probably in poor taste." He sat down in front of me. "I know you feel like you're losing a lot here, and in some ways, you are. But sometimes in life we lose things, and focusing on that loss isn't what helps us move forward. It's remembering what we have moving toward the future."

Tears started falling quickly then, and I laughed. It wasn't a happy sound. I wiped my cheeks with my sleeve again. "Yeah, I guess." I smiled, and Cross moved away from me.

He returned with some Kleenex. "I'm sorry, Kisa-chan. I truly am. I wish there was a way I could make this better for you."

"It's okay." I whispered. "It happens."

Cross's expression looked sad. "I'm almost done, and then we'll get started, yeah?"

I sat silently and picked at my hands while Cross finished gathering some materials, and before I knew it he was standing in front of me with a book.

"I'm not sure if this is going to hurt, but the notes say it shouldn't. Are you ready?"

I squeezed my eyes shut and nodded, willing myself not to cry some more.

I'm so afraid.

Don't be. I'll still be here when you wake up.

Are you sure?

Cross put the book down and rubbed his hands on my shoulders. I met his gaze. "Kisa-chan. It's alright. Calm down. You're shaking like a leaf."

I clenched my fists and nodded again, taking several deep breaths to calm myself.

"Now close your eyes, I think there may be a bright light." Cross smiled and nodded encouragingly. "When you wake up you're going to be at home, with no recollection out of the ordinary for the time you've know about vampires, alright? You'll still have most of your memory, just some of it will be missing."

"Okay." I nodded. Not like I've ever had a choice.

Cross put his hand on my forehead and I saw a blinding light behind my eyelids. I felt the sensation of falling forward and everything went dark.