Chapter Nine

I roll over but don't see Finnick but, I do smell bacon.

I stretch and get out of bed.

"For a second I thought you were going to make me feel like a cheap whore." I tease as I come into the kitchen.

Finnick would have left a note if he did leave the house, he always does.

Finnick rolls his eyes.

"Can I really do that if you're my wife?" He asks with a smile.

Now I roll my eyes.

"Yes you can." I say.

He smirks.

I take a piece of bacon. It's the good maple kind I like. There's something about maple and bacon that tastes great. Hell, it's not that strange I like grilled cheese on a donut and my sister likes eating peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. Sounds gross and disgusting but, it is pretty good. Well I don't like the mayo and peanut butter sandwich, but whatever.

"Not to my wife." He kisses me. He moves the plate of bacon. "You're ruining breakfast by eating that. I was going to sprinkle that on the pancakes."

"Since when are you a chef?" I ask. Finnick can cook but not very well. However, he can manage bacon and pancakes.

I hop on the counter.

"You're not supposed to sit on the counter." He says.

"It's okay when I do it." I say with a smile.

His lips briefly touch mine.

"I love you."

"Love you too." I say and kiss his cheek.

"So thanksgiving?" He asks and flips a pancake.

"An interesting topic change." I say because it seemed to have come from nowhere.

"My Mom called, not just because of thanksgiving-"

"Because she loves you." I say.

"She actually called about Pepper." Finnick says. Pepper is his dog. Well his family dog. She's old. Finnick got Pepper when he was fourteen. Finnick said it was because he moved a lot when he was young so, he always lost his friends. His Mom got him Pepper so he would always have a friend.

It is now obvious why Finnick moved around a lot when he was a kid. It's because his father followed him around. Stalked him. Linda said the last time she thought she saw John was a couple of days after Finnick's twelfth birthday. Finnick never knew any of this. He doesn't even remember when his dad took him for a few days.

"Pepper sick?" I ask.

"She's old." Finnick says. Which I think is a yes, maybe she called Finnick to tell him she's going to put her down. Nothing can live forever.

I nod.

"We should get a dog." Finnick says with a smile.

"No. Besides, pets aren't allowed in our complex." I say.

"We aren't going to live here forever Annie."

I sigh.

"I know but, no Dog. They smell and no matter how many times you potty train them they still pee on your rug." I say.

Finnick takes the pancakes to the table.

"I'm just saying it would be nice and a character builder when we… you know have a kid." Finnick says in an awkward tone.

"Little children and dogs do not go well with one another. Besides, this conversation can wait." I say.

"True." Finnick says. "Breakfast is served." He says with a smile and sets the plates on the table.

It's good. Well it's a pancake but since it isn't gooey in the middle it is fine.

"So back to thanksgiving." He says.

"Aren't we going to your Mom's?" I ask.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay with that." Finnick says and

"Why wouldn't I be?" I ask and take another bite from my pancake.

"Because my whole family will be there. They probably all know by now but-"

"It will be fine." I say softly.

I didn't think about this. About how Finnick's family will react to seeing us. Finnick's family is nice but, I know they all must know about Olivia. His annoying Aunt Sarah sent a condolences card. His Aunt Sarah is a terrible bitter woman as well. Sometimes I wonder how his Mom is so nice when her sister is so awful. Especially since Finnick's Mom married a psycho who physically abused her. Sometimes I wonder if Finnick's Dad just raped her and got her pregnant by accident . There are moments in conversations where it seems true.

"Besides, they're going to talk about us whether we show up or not." I say.

"True." He says and kisses my forehead. "Besides it's not like we could make a turkey."

I smile.

"Yes we could. It would be easier if we had a bigger oven." I say.

Finnick smiles.

"Besides, what would we do with a whole bird?" He says.

I smile.

"Freeze most of it, have it for leftovers." I say and he nods.

"You know Annie, since we won't be living here forever maybe we should consider moving or at least looking for a house."

"Finnick I thought we had this discussion before, I don't want to leave until it's necessary and it's not necessary yet."

"True." Finnick says disappointed.

"We won't t live here forever, I want a 'real' house as well." I say and kiss Finnick's cheek.

"Hey Finnick." I say softly.

"Yeah?" Finnick asks.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." I whisper.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing." I say but he raises his eyebrows. "Nothing is wrong… I just wanted to discuss something with you." I say.

"You sound so formal." Finnick says worried.

"I…" I clear my throat. "I've been thinking recently-"

"About?" He asks.

"About you and me."

"What about me and you?" He asks worried.

"That everything is better now. We're better."

"Yes we are." He says with a smile. "But then why are you being so serious?" He asks.

"I was thinking we should maybe try to have a baby again." I say in my strange squeaky voice when I'm nervous and excited. "I just really wanted to talk to you because I don't know-"

"Annie calm down." Finnick says and strokes my hair. "It's just… are you sure you want to do this?"

"Finnick, I stopped taking my birth control last month." I say. Finnick has a strange look on his face when I say this. "It's been seven months since Olivia passed away. I know it still hurts but, I'm ready to have a child with you. I still want to have a family with you." I say.

"I still want that too." He says carefully.

"What's wrong?" I ask because something about him seems off.

"Why didn't you tell me you stopped taking your birth control?" He asks.

"I didn't think it was necessary." I say confused.

Finnick sighs something about that bothers him but, I don't understand why. It's not like Finnick and I have sex every day but we still do. We use condoms… most of the time

"Annie, I want to start a family with you but, things are just starting to be normal again between you and me. I can't lose you Annie." He whispers.

"You won't." I kiss his cheek. "I'm here to stay." I say.

"It wasn't so great between you and me Annie." He says softly.

"It was a bad couple of months Finnick. We're okay now."

"I know but, we weren't. If something terrible were to happen again… I don't know what will happen to me and you." He whispers.

"You want to wait longer." I say. I can hear the disappointment in my voice. I didn't think Finnick would want to wait.

"Not that long." He reassures.

"I understand." I whisper and kiss his cheek. I do understand he's worried about us. "Just so you know, Finnick I'll never leave you." I say.

Finnick hugs me.

"I know." He kisses the top of my head. "I love you so much." He whispers.

"I love you so much too." I whisper and kiss him.

It's been a few months since I suggested to Finnick that we should try and get pregnant again I'm not going to bring it up again. I know Finnick will bring it up when he's ready. I understand where he is coming from. Our relationship was struggling for a few months but we are fine now. If you are in a struggling relationship a baby won't fix anything, maybe Finnick wants to make sure we're okay even though it's been almost nine months.

I know Finnick still wants a child but, I don't know when he will be ready. When we first talked about having a baby we were in the right place but not anymore. I want Finnick and I on the same page so I will wait for as long as Finnick wants. I love him so much.