I just wanted to say "thank you" for all of your kind reviews. All 127 of them :D. You guys are awesome and keep me motivated to continue (even if I get lazy, sometimes xD)
I hope this one was worth the wait, too.
Enjoy!
10h30... Maybe she should get up. Two whole hours of hiding from the world was more than enough, she reckoned, and impossible on any other day of the year - thankfully; busy schedule, busy mind. The kids referred to it as "Gohan's day" and the tag stuck as time went by, though the rest of the world's "Saviour's day" failed to be as appreciated. It was truly accurate, the misplacement simply tasted a little too acrid. Supposedly, it was a holiday to celebrate life... go figure.
A deep breath meant for strength did nothing but she eventually managed to roll out of bed, lazily brushing her weighted feet against the fluffy carpet for the simplest morning routine that would make her look presentable. A pony tail would have to suffice since any attempt at makeup was destined to become a puddled mess. The festivities were just too crowded and annoying to leave the house anyway.
Mechanically, she slid on some irrelevant baggy shirt and stepped towards the door, grabbing the handle to pull it closed behind her. Something stopped her before she would though, looking back into the darkened room and the king-size bed unmade for two. "Home" they'd call it once upon a time - her word, of course. The memories brought a smile, but also the first tears of the long day yet to come, and so she rushed to lock them shut inside.
Step by step, down the stairs and across the hallways, a familiar sight greeted her on the kitchen counter: her mother's mouth watering chocolate cake - her favorite ever since she was a kid - and the customary note.
There's another one in the fridge, it said. Lunch is on the top shelf and dinner on the bottom one. I bought those animal shaped cookies Goten loves and also tons of Trunks' favorite snacks. The ones with the peanuts, they didn't have the other ones. He has done all of his homework and chores. He's been lovely and well behaved. I love you. We'll be home all day so call me if you need anything. Love Mom. XOXO
It was a well rehearsed play, every year. Everyone knew their place and what to do, even if the responsibilities were never discussed or particularly assigned, and so nothing in that note came as a surprise. Not her son's exemplary behaviour and certainly not her mother's extensive preparations and arrangements. It lifted her spirit. As high as it would go, anyway.
"Mom?" she heard Trunks from behind and turned around. She could never not smile at her son, but how could she fight the gravity that was refusing it to her, powerless as she was against this day? He noticed; she was sure of it.
"Hey, baby," Bulma half-beamed, trying to recall how it was actually done so she could reproduce it. She crouched down to his eye-level as he approached her, and slid a hand through his beautiful lavender hair. The color was different and it didn't spike at all, but the feel was exactly the same... "I've been told you did all of your homework already. Thank you."
Trunks smiled shyly and looked down, breaking her heart by acting so differently than he would have on any other day. It was all because of her; he knew how much more fragile she was on this specific time of the year. A proof of love she didn't need and would rather not have.
"I... I got you this," he hesitated and brought forth the hand he kept hidden behind his back. A flower, tiny and rickety. "It was the only blue one that I could find."
Her favorite color... of course he'd know that. It was expected of her to cry for such a beautiful gesture - and let's face it, much less relevant situations - but today, any drop would have a single provenance in his eyes regardless of how expected they were or what had actually made them come to be. She was going to do her best not to cry in front of her son; he'd spend the day uneasily enough as it was.
"It's beautiful, honey." She took the flower, ignoring the raspiness that made her voice come out in a whisper, and twirled it around between her fingers. "I love it."
The little guy smiled and she did too, pecking him on the nose in that way that she usually did, then standing up afterwards. "Are you hungry? I can whip something up."
"Nana made me pancakes," he responded. "And besides, Goten and Mia are here."
"They are?" she questioned, eyebrows arching up in genuine surprise and then scrunching down into an inquiring half-frown. "How do you know that?"
"I sensed them coming."
Bulma produced a slow smile out of absolute pride. "Gohan's been teaching you well, huh?"
Trunks beamed. "Yeah! And he said I'm the best one at ki sensing, too. I just have to keep it to myself so the others won't be sad about it."
Yeah, that seemed like Gohan, always the peace-keeper. "So, then," she concluded. "Let's go meet them."
With a grin and a spring in his step, the little prince rushed to the door, the one everybody used since it connected directly to the residential area. It felt cozy, somehow, having a back door... like in Chi-Chi's place. It'd been years since her parents had opted to move to the other side of the compound, closer to their precious pets, and it kind of felt horribly cold for some time. That door helped clear the feeling as it waited to be swooshed open by an energetic Goten or gently shut with an "We're here, Auntie Bu." She knew why they did it, her parents, but she'd never need that kind of privacy anymore. Not for Yamcha and not for any other man. It was her and her son, now, for the rest of her life.
Trunks yanked the door open, scaring Chi-Chi into a shriek on the other side, a hand to her chest. "Good heavens, Trunks! You scared me."
The little guy chuckled really childishly and Bulma followed from behind him. That was her boy: the little devil, the troublemaker. Goten jumped over for his customary bear hug from his best friend. Mia did the same but blushed a little while backing away. Aww, a crush... how incredibly adorable! She made a mental note to tease the girl about it later.
Bulma wasn't sure if the other woman saw it too, but she probably didn't. There was clearly no conviction behind that faint smile, or behind the reddish-white of her eyes and the dark bags beneath them. The night had been hard on her friend too, but then again, how crappy did she look right now?
"Hey, Trunks?" his mother called. "Why don't you go show them the new game we bought yesterday?"
Goten gasped in that precious way of his. "You've bought it?"
"Yeah! Come on!" Trunks cheered and took charge of the beeline straight to his bedroom. She reckoned it'd be the last she'd heard of them until lunch time.
The two women watched as the kiddies fled, mixed feelings clashing Bulma's insides as proud mother and damaged woman battled for domination over her. No doubt Chi-Chi was experiencing it, too. She looked back to the other, her sister in life other than in blood; their eyes met and matched. It was time.
"Your parents?" the younger asked as courtesy demanded.
"Home," Bulma responded.
Chi-Chi nodded.
They stood still a few seconds longer in anticipation, but both knew what had to happen now. The ceremony had been the same since forever, the ritual turning need and essential to get through the day. Without anything else, Bulma took to the kitchen again, sure that the other would follow, and stepped aside at the door to let her in before closing it shut behind them with a soft click of the latch. Immediately, they went back to staring. Chi-Chi smiled and so did she, sluggishly going for a hug that felt tighter and stronger than ever before.
They cried.
Wholeheartedly, a year's worth of tears came to glorify this day - just like the ones before and following, and yet so overwhelmingly hurtful. Every sob, a memory long forgotten. Every gasp for air a new one that would never come to be.
Vegeta had once - and only once - shared with her what it meant for a saiyan to take a mate. Not "married" or "in a relationship", but "taken". That was his word. She didn't understand at the time why he'd choose to put such weight on such a plain term, simply because it was a common one to describe a committed couple. She'd use it herself, from time to time. I'm taken.
She couldn't have known it meant taking her soul right along with him, wherever he'd go.
It was a very intense, very real type of pain. Widowed saiyans didn't live for very long. How she shivered when she understood what he actually meant by that...
Actions, places, words and events, all queued up in line for awareness, took center stage as she wept, trampling over the basal needs of a mother - keeping it quiet, keeping it hidden. Vegeta's dark eyes as they preyed on her just before sex, and the peacefulness that would erase his frown, right after. The way he chuckled on the rare occasions that she managed to get him drunk, and how he'd pound her even harder when he was.
God, she missed sex... At least, she had amazing memories of it.
"Goku," she heard the other whisper in shaky words and the man in her mind shifted to him. How long would it have been now, since they've met? Almost thirty years... Maybe in the eyes of the world Vegeta didn't deserve a second chance, maybe she was the only one who really needed him back, but Goku... the world needed Goku. How could she ever believe that everything would be okay again without his smile, without his laughter booming wherever he was? He should've come back... he should've.
Oh, Gohan...
They calmed down eventually, rubbing their faces clean as their breaths slowly returned to normal. Bulma stepped over to the sink to splash cold water on her face and stood there for a moment, eyes closed, letting the air cool the fire at her cheeks. A deep breath and she was ready for the coffee, stepping aside just a tad for Chi-Chi to open the cupboard for the big ceramic mugs. Her face was wet too.
They danced around each other, engulfed in their meaningless tasks, and soon enough both women were sitting at the white melamine table, slowly consuming their beverages. The heat felt cozy on her palms and the silence irrelevant and comfortable. It was a much needed condition, since not much else would do it today. Eventually, Bulma snickered, smiling absentmindedly. Chi-Chi looked up.
"Do you remember their last Halloween?"
The younger woman smiled too, directly accessing the exact memory the other was aiming for. "You mean, 'the incident'?"
Bulma chuckled. "I still can't believe how grossed out 'Geta was. Thank God Goku was fast enough to fly away from him."
"Did he ever explain to you where did his fear come from?" Chi-Chi asked. "I mean, something must've started it, right?"
"He said it's not fear," Bulma stressed out, as he did, way back then. "He just didn't like worms."
They laughed quietly, a bittersweet pleasure, as irreplaceable memories usually were. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
"Mommy? Auntie Bu?" they heard from the other side.
Bulma frowned slightly and noticed how Chi-Chi did the same. It wasn't like Mia to come meet them today, aside from mealtime and other scarce occasions. She'd actually be the one to enforce the unspoken law that the two women were to be left alone, at least when it came to Goten, the most oblivious of the three. It didn't seem urgent, though, so an accidental fire threat was not considered. For very long, at least.
Chi-Chi turned back on her seat. "Come in, Mia."
The little girl did, turning the knob and opening the door hesitant and slow. Her little face peeked in. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, baby," Chi-Chi responded, stretching her open arms towards the girl. Mia took the invitation in a rush, coming over and taking the embrace, while her mother effortlessly slid her up to her lap.
Bulma watched, elated and sad at the same time, following the other woman's movements as she brushed her daughter's hair back really gently and caressed her cheek in soft, soothing motions. She knew the love had always been there, but this Chi-Chi had been hiding in the darkness for too damn long. The little girl deserved her real mother, not a surrogate... not her. "What's wrong, Mia?" Bulma asked over the pang in her chest.
The girl took her time to respond, lips parted, unsure of what to say. "I-I'm..." She corrected her posture and sat up straight on her mother's lap, connecting with the black eyes that were staring under worry lines. "I'm really worried," she admitted, switching her gazing back to auntie Bu. "About... Gohan."
"Honey," Bulma soothed. "You know he always spends this day alone."
"He's gonna be alright, baby," Chi-Chi added in a whisper, circling a rogue strand of dark hair behind the girl's ear. It was just a thing mothers said; they worried too, every year.
"I know, but," Mia hesitated again, looking down at her hands. "It's different this year."
Different? It was happening like every other year. He'd be missing right as of midnight; the only different thing was that he had a cellphone this time around, but even that was turned off - as she knew it would be. She'd left him a message, but was mostly certain he'd never heard it. "Howcome?"
Mia looked up again. "He's happy."
The two women glanced at each other, confused. "But... that's good, honey," Bulma said with a reassuring smile.
"Yes, but... if he's happier, it means that he can get sadder, too," Mia explained.
There was silence and the women glanced at each other again, just as a thread of panic took the younger mother for a second. Chi-Chi hugged Mia tighter, surely to keep her oblivious.
Could it be, Bulma wondered? So many things had changed in the last few months, so many emotions - new and old - came flooding the voided shell he'd became, over the years. She should've made the effort to go meet him in person the past week. A lifetime of repressing one's feelings made it really easy to hide them from the people who loved him; an over-the-phone conversation would never show the blue-haired the stealthy signs that would give them away.
"Could you call them, Auntie Bu? Please?"
"Of course," she answered with a smile to check herself into jumping for the damn phone and giving in to her own suspicions. She forced a deep breath as she took the device. Speed dial number nine.
It rang for a long while - as always - but she made nothing of it.
"Hello, Bulma," was the answer from the other side. The tone was one she was expecting, also: endearing concern.
"Hey, Dende," she greeted.
"He's not here," the guardian was quick to add and she felt her eyebrows twitch into a frown. Things were different, then; Mia was right. Gohan had never really disclosed where he'd spend that day or doing what, but she'd managed to figure it out long ago and as time went by, so did Chi-Chi and eventually Mia.
On the edge of the Lookout, looking down; that was it, according to Dende. The young man had always done everything for everyone, the least they could do was give him a day for himself; if he wanted to spend it doing nothing it was his prerogative. But this year... He'd changed, she knew that much.
He had always been so in touch with his emotions - back then, when he still had those - and that was what put him on a league of his own, when it came to power. Exponentially tougher to tap into, but that much more world shattering when it happened. Goku had mentioned it a couple of times before with an extra special brand of pride. Every thing he had bottled up inside was resurfacing; would he know how to handle it?
As it turned out, Gohan had failed to have control over his feelings once before, and look what that had caused. None of it was his fault, but he'd never believe it.
"Oh..." There was no way she'd managed to hide the disappointment in her voice and her gut fired up, worried by how it would affect Mia. It eased her mind to see Chi-Chi hug the girl tighter, kissing her dark hair. Changes weren't always a bad thing; Chi-Chi was changing, too. Gohan would be okay. He wouldn't do anything stupid.
He wouldn't do anything stupid. He wouldn't do anything stupid.
She could repeat it all she wanted, let it echo around in her head all day long but in some way, the little girl knew her brother like no one else. If she was worried, how could the older woman not be? There was only one way she'd be able to survive the day without pulling her hair out with anxiety and it all depended on Dende's answer. "And how about-"
"Of course. You know he wouldn't be anywhere else today."
She did know, and sighed in relief. It's not like Gohan needed the protection, since no real danger could come to the strongest man in the universe, but if one got used to being locked inside his shell for so long, the only actual threat would be the most harmful - and the hardest one to escape. Himself.
He wouldn't do anything stupid...
"In the meantime, Carrie, you've got some exciting information about the champ, isn't that correct?"
"That's correct, Bethany. We were with Edith Leif, earlier today, and she gave us the scoop on the champ's brand new cape, custom made to celebrate this year's 'Saviour's Day'. Increased thread count of the finest Egyptian cotton, hand embroidered with gold thread, and-"
Enough was enough. Why the hell did she even turn the damn TV on, in the first place? Like she wouldn't know what would be cluttering every and all channels today, all the freaking day. Apparently, the rest of the world became unimportant when the city decided to properly salute the champ, even if the world they were ignoring turned out to be the very same he fought so hard to defend all those years ago. How ironic.
Videl lazily discarded the remote, placing it on top of the side table that waited on the couch. Her eyes stuck there, once again analysing the two books that stood by for her interest: the one she should be reading for her upcoming exam and that romance she'd heard so much about. Neither of them won her over. If they hadn't had dinner already, she could cook something special... maybe she could bake a cake? At this time of the night? … She sighed loudly. "E?"
"Yes?" Erasa responded in the same tedious tone, sitting at the nearby kitchen table with a cup of tea and a magazine. Random gossip and socialites, no doubt.
"Can I paint your toenails?" Videl asked with a sense of defeat over boredom. So much boredom...
"L, O, L, Ms. V.," she mocked in that annoying sarcasm she mastered. "It serves you right for not listening to me. We could have gone shopping, but nooooo, I can't go out today because people would recognize me and say that they love me and hug me and stuff."
"Shut up!" Videl sputtered back. She did not talk like that! Good grief... "Did you forget about last year? And the year before that? And the one before that one?"
Erasa sighed, of course; it wasn't one of those things a person could just wipe from their memory. What a hell that was. Wanting to have random girl-time with her best friend without being harassed by every damn journalist and most of the general public was just not a possibility on the Saviour's day. She snorted internally.
When exactly did the name change? "Earth's day" was apparently too unspecific.
"I know you refuse to spend the day parading around with your dad anymore, but we could still enjoy the celebrations. I heard they had floats, this year."
Videl got up and tidied up the pillows at the sofa, talking to the things other than to her friend. "I would enjoy them if they weren't celebrations of him. This day used to be about life and how precious it is, not about a man, even if he is the saviour. It's like a fucking religion!"
She stood straight, inspecting her meaningless work with hands gripping at her waist. She'd had this conversation so many times in her head, but having it with Erasa was still too uncomfortable. It was all so clear in her mind; it all made perfect sense, but she couldn't help but feel she was stabbing Daddy in the back with her opinions, as truthful and heartfelt as they were.
"I know Vi," the other said, somewhat apologetic, but the ball was rolling and she'd get it all out, this time.
"He's his own person. He can do whatever he wants, but I won't be involved anymore. I wouldn't even go to those events his damn manager sets up at schools but I have to, for damage control. If it was just him he'd say that being strong is the most important thing in life. Fuck education and love and friends. He..." she sighed, "he scares me sometimes. I don't think I really know him that much anymore."
"Don't say that. You know he likes the attention, and his fame is really important to him, but his heart's in the right place."
Maybe... Her arms crossed in front of her chest, eyes glued to the colorful detail on one of the pillows. Maybe. "Vi," the other called and she looked up. "You know that." Videl smiled and nodded.
Erasa smiled too in that way that she did. Not the bubbly-blonde one but the other she reserved just for her best friend - motherly, she'd call it. "Got get the nail polish. I'm feeling... pink."
Videl stared at her wryly, lifting up a single inquisitive brow as Erasa returned to her magazine. "E. Youhave literally dozens of pink ones. I'm not going to bring the whole lot back here."
"The hot pink one."
…
"The new one I just bought."
…
"Dammit, Vi. Just bring any damn one," she finally spat out, and Videl did so, but not without a giggle first, stepping over to Erasa's bedroom and to the place she knew her stash to be.
Thirty-seven. Thirty-seven shades of pink... how was that even possible? Did she bring the whole nail polish department from the store? Videl rummaged through the pretty cardboard box, girly on the outside and on the inside, given the absolute mess it contained. Oh, so she didn't buy the whole array of pinks; her blondness just didn't allow the girl to remember which ones she already had. Two of each of this one... three of each of that one... The young woman shook her head. How the hell would she conjure which one was "the new one"?
Hot pink... hot pink... Screw it. She discarded all the overly-effeminate ones - too pale, too pink - and chose the color she liked better; it was easy enough, since it downsized the pallette to three or four of them. Pink just didn't come natural for her, as it did with Erasa. Hopefully she wouldn't lose her "girl card" over it.
Tossing the box and walking back, she inspected the little glass bottle, half full and with silver lettering. It turned out to be named "That's hot! Pink".
Nailed it, she jingled in her head, with a smile.
She turned the corner. "Oh, hey, Sharp. When did you get here?"
"Just now," the blond man gave in answer, as unnecessary as the question, of course. When else? He took his jacket off, hanging it by the door, but then he turned around and Videl noticed it right away.
"What's wrong?" she asked and he stared back, surprised if just for a moment. There was no way an upbeat person like him would be sporting such a frown, as soft and subtle as it was. Not unless something was really troubling him. It brought her a bad feeling... something was not right.
The young man sighed, eying his girlfriend as she sat by the table. Videl did the same; Erasa noticed it too.
"I'm worried," he said.
"Where's Gohan?" Videl nearly interrupted, not sure why she felt the need to know exactly where he was, right that instant. She was the one getting worried, now, the bad feeling turning "sick" with a snap of the fingers.
It had to be about Gohan, and Sharpner's eyes confirmed it to her long before his words did. "I don't know."
"What do you mean, 'you don't know'?" Erasa asked really solemnly, charging the intensity in the room all that much more with a tone that didn't suit her.
"I mean that the last time I saw him was yesterday evening. I don't know where he went or why and his cellphone's off," the young man explained.
There was silence. They were all thinking it.
They knew Gohan's father had died on this day, eight years ago, along with all the other victims of that beast's wrath, as few as they were.
The copy of the military report came to memory, taunting her on top of her father's desk in its manila folder, not too long after his victory. No other evidence of Cell other than a path of destroyed buildings and dead bodies. As if anything else could manage such a scenario.
It was a blessing that the number wasn't exponentially higher, though; a silver lining on the dark past that would forever haunt those who lived through it. Apart from Amenbo Island, off the coast of the Southern Continent, and a few others here and there just before Cell had made his official appearance at the dreaded games, the whole thing came down to an astoundingly low death count. A miracle, she'd call it, since so many reports would suggest the monster to be much more gruesome than that, brutal and unmerciful, not to mention the widespread panic it brought along.
Thank God for Daddy, she thought, adamant to keep that image of her father other that his current one.
"Are..." Erasa hesitated, "are you sure he didn't just go home? To spend the day with his family?"
"No," Videl said and the others stared at her. "Bulma told me that he always spends the day alone. I just thought she meant away from the kids, not away from... everybody."
"I don't like it," Sharpner added, so different and "adult", arms crossing against his chest. "He's been acting really strange this last week. Like he went back to when we first met him, all cooped up in his damn shell." He sighed, shaking his head. "Dammit, G..."
That was not good. She knew Gohan's head was overflowing with all sorts of things. As if a double major in sciences wasn't enough to drive a person crazy, it actually appeared to be an irrelevant part of his recurrent musings. He was so smart. He knew lots about everything and lots more about the tough stuff - physics and math and all those other ones. He was so amazing and yet he managed it all with such a burden weighing him down... whatever that was.
She should've butted in...
All week she told herself not to. Let him be, people mourn in their own way, etcetera, etcetera. But his father's death was a huge deal, and this time around she knew how vulnerable he was given their situation, how she cracked at that shell Sharpner was talking about.
He wouldn't do anything stupid...
She was breathing heavily but she just had to, the panic yelling at her with all the should haves. You should've talked to him about it. You should've been with him. You should've stalked him all around campus to make sure he was okay. His father had died! What was she doing sitting around, doing nothing!
Where was he?
"Videl?"
She focused on the people before her, head shaking from side to side uncontrollably in disdain for herself. "I have to go," she said to nobody, heading for the exit.
"Where?" Erasa almost shouted. She ignored the urgence in the blonde's voice.
"You don't know where he is, Vi," Sharp reminded, walking over to the door, as well. He'd better not keep her from going, best friends or not, she'd bite him!
"I don't, but I can't stay here. I'm gonna look for him downtown." Would he even be there? … yes. Downtown felt right.
"Then I'm coming with you," Sharpner concluded. He was really anxious about it, too; it was clear as day, in the lines on his face.
"Me too," Erasa added.
"No, E. You're staying here," Videl commanded. "Someone has to be here in case he comes over. And you," she looked at Sharpner, "you go home, too. If he comes around, call me."
The guy took a deep breath that she knew came from hopeless dejection, mainly against her stubbornness, since no man alive could keep it contained. She felt the urge to comfort him, and brought a hand to his shoulder. "I'll find him," she told herself, but he was the one nodding back.
Videl took her home keys and the ones for Erasa's car, taking off with a slam of the door behind her.
Gohan wanted to be alone, but for the life of her, she just couldn't let him. Something was speaking in her heart, saying that he needed her, even if it was probably not true. She had to see him, just see him. Right now.
He wouldn't do anything stupid.
Real smart, Videl... real smart...
The red jacket she loved was right there, on the hanger, by the door, so how hard would it have been to just bring it along with her? Was it too much for her stupid little brain to remember? Damn it...
A thin strappy top and some casual shorts a couple of inches too short to display outside were what she usually wore on those lazy days spent at home in the Summer, so that was exactly what she was parading around town right now. That and some worn out flip-flops that should never have seen the light of day - or night, as it turned out. At least she'd managed to keep her identity secret so far, apart from a couple of double-takes and concerned once-overs from the people that actually knew her personally; there was no way the Saviour's daughter would be carrying herself in this barely-homeless look, and certainly not today of all days.
Videl cruised around town, the former heat that flooded her veins slowly subsiding with the panic and giving way to a dead cold understanding: Gohan could be anywhere. Something had drawn her to this general area, and somehow she knew he wouldn't be in either of those places she canvassed earlier, places they'd visited together often enough. But now, walking aimlessly to somewhere else, the breeze was cutting like knives on her skin and bringing her down in whispers that told her how it was all her fault.
You knew he shouldn't have been alone, today. Where were you?
She shook the feeling away along with her head, but those words would never leave her alone - his words, uttered in confession last week as he spoke to his deceased father. So much despair in such simple words, so much hopelessness...
Someone walked by, bumping her shoulder and she realized where she was. "Pancakes", their usual bar and last hope. It was packed full with caped people and afro-like fake dos that made her snort, since she wasn't aware of how the Saviour's day had transformed into the Halloween of late May. Maybe next year she'd actually be able to go out with Erasa, provided she wore her old teenage get-up from when she used to actively fight crime. She didn't miss those days - not anymore - and to the police's credit, she wasn't really needed now, anyway.
Navigating slowly, she fought the crowd's resistance and finally reached the smaller back room, looking around for the one who brought her there. She almost didn't notice him, hunched over and stationary like that, but there he was, sitting at the bar with a glass between his hands. Had he been drinking? The warmth of relief was ephemeral and insufficient; a new kind of worry took her gut.
Warily, she stepped over, signaling the bartender to approach her when he spotted her coming. His expression told her mostly everything she wanted to know, a soft frown and a shake of the head. "That bad, huh?" she asked.
"I've started watering them down a while ago, but he's been here for ages."
Videl sighed, looking back at Gohan. He drank occasionally, a habit out of social protocol more than anything else, so being this intoxicated was not something she'd ever expect of him. This whole behaviour - withdrawn, dismissive of others... this was not her Gohan. Did she make him like this? No doubt she'd at least contributed to it.
"I..." Nicky, the bartender, continued. "I never saw him like this, Videl."
"Neither have I," she whispered, her mind rushing so fast through so many things that it ultimately felt numb and vacant of actual thoughts. Only the image prevailed, a man broken by life, drowning his sorrows so they wouldn't fill him up with the usual despair.
You did this.
She swallowed dry and tried for a faint smile. "Put it on my tab, okay?"
Nicky nodded and smiled back in that way people would out of pity. It shouldn't have bothered her, but Gohan was so much more than that. He didn't deserve pity, he deserved admiration and support and respect. The guy didn't know him like she did, and she could see the endearment in his eyes, so she'd refrain from releasing the Kraken on him; she had other things to take care of, anyway.
One, two, three... four steps and she froze. Her body urged for a hug and her heart for a kiss - or a million - but her mind was adamant on waiting, his soul just way too fragile for that kind of pressure on her part. He was looking at something that he was definitely not seeing; no blink, twitch or other movement apart from that lazy nibble on his lower lip. "Gohan?" His eyes closed and it pinched her gut to realize she wasn't welcome. "Are you ok?"
A stupid question and he shared the sentiment, frowning and shaking his head microscopically. "Go away, Vi."
Her stubbornness fought and won against the hurt over those words. "No."
He didn't ask a second time, sliding from the high stool into a wobbly stand and reaching for his wallet.
"It's taken care of," Videl explained and he made nothing else of it, returning it back to his pocket. Not a word nor a glance, nothing to acknowledge the mere space she was occupying. He stomped more than walked away and towards the exit. The young woman followed suit, realizing with every step and every apology to a random stranger he'd bump into, just how deep her Gohan had fallen.
Outside, he looked around to assess his surroundings and opted to take to the right just as she reached him. The cool breeze made her hug herself as she concocted the easiest way to get him into the car and over to campus. A long night's sleep and the mother of all hangovers tomorrow should be enough to bring him back from whichever hell he was experiencing right now. Hopefully.
She jogged when he picked up the pace and strode into the sand by their side, increasingly deeper and darker into it and away from the light of the surrounding street lamps. Luckily, the moon was full and bright, reflecting on the water as they approached the surf. A spark of electricity charged her up again, alarmed by the realization that he wasn't stopping. "Gohan?"
He didn't hear her.
"Gohan!"
Nothing. What was he doing? Forget how going for a swim at night was incredibly dangerous, as drunk as he was it was gonna get him killed!
"GOHAN!" The desperation showed through, pitchy as she shouted, but at least it got him to stop. Even from behind she could see how his shoulders slouched; she didn't care. He could hint and beg all he wanted but nuisance or not, she wasn't going to be swatted away. It was her fault. She couldn't leave him alone in this miserable state he'd gotten himself into, not until he was safe and sound, and preferably sleeping it off.
"Please, go away." His plea was charged with something she didn't recognize simply because it'd never be associated with his voice, particularly. He was mad, and the way his breaths were forcefully pushed in and out quickly confirmed it, making her will crawl back into herself at the thought of being the object of it. It wouldn't hold her back and it was brief anyway, since he somehow told her the fury was aimed at himself. Her chin tilted up for strength.
"Come with me," she told him instead. "Please, let's go home."
Nothing came as a response except for the anxious sway of his head, side to side. Not seeing his face was making her nervous so she slid quietly around him, keeping her distance and weighing every movement with the wary burden of maintaining him at peace.
"Please," she repeated. "Everything will seem better in the morning."
Gohan snorted, staring up at the moon. "Yeah, like this day never happened." The meaning went deeper, she was sure; "this day" didn't refer to today at all. "Shouldn't you be celebrating?" he added. "With your dad?"
He was all worked up, so she let the hint of mockery slide by her, since he surely didn't mean it. She'd probably be bitter about the damn festivities too if they came prancing around every year to stomp over her mourning. The gift of life was ultimately something worth the grief that clouded this day; it'd make the celebrations a little less painful and relevant. It was worth the insult; a single man was not.
The message was loud and clear: he was mad at her, or at least at what she represented with that last name of hers. She'd never blame him, though. "I celebrate my father on his birthday," she answered, plain and simple. "This day has lost its meaning a long time ago."
As blatant as it came, she was expecting another snort or any other sign of disbelief but she actually got him to stare back down to Earth. However skeptical, there was assurance there... and hopefulness. She wouldn't lie to him; not about that.
His eyes were begging for something she couldn't express through words, yet somehow she could feel it. It spoke for her. "I don't idolize 'the saviour'. I'm just thankful he was there."
Gohan kept staring, unreadable and still, his dark eyes reflecting a single speckle of moonlight that captivated her throught the distance. If only he'd trust her with his musings - the good and the bad... A burden that heavy shouldn't have to be carried alone.
Suddenly, she blinked and frowned a touch, glancing around for the most logical culprit of tinting his eyes a different color... but there was none. It was just a flash, a mere second and it was gone... Pink? She must've been seeing things. Refocusing, her frown didn't succumb.
Heavy breathing, piercing stare that wouldn't be redrawn to anywhere else... he was hungrily looking her over, up and down and really slow, measuring his prey for everything he'd get from her. She shuddered when he gave a step over. "G-Gohan?"
And then it happened again. His eyes, pink without any shadow of a doubt, like some light had just shone over the black and uncovered the raw being behind it. Videl's eyes grew wider and she gave a single step back while he got closer and closer, breathing through his mouth, she noticed; getting a taste of her without a touch.
He wouldn't do anything stupid... He'd never hurt her.
As impulsively as it came, it vanished, and Gohan spun around and screamed into the dark night. "You don't have to spike like that! I would never hurt her!" He gave it a second and turned back again, rushing to cup her face in between his palms. "You know that, right? Please... you have to know that."
Everything she believed in coerced her to speak, but the shock had taken her voice; the feelings, however, were unshakable and sincere. She nodded very softly.
Gohan sighed, visibly relieved;it was definitely her Gohan: soft features, dark eyes as warm as the hands that touched her cold skin, no trace of color to paint him any other person... or beast. Nothing in her could make sense of what had just happened other than the alcohol in his breath, but even that couldn't pinpoint the science behind what her eyes took as the truth. Pink? How could that have happened?
The current proximity allowed for a closer inspection but nothing stood out, apart from that beautiful shine that didn't come from the moon alone, after all; a small tear paced slowly down his cheek and she reached up to brush it away with her fingers. He looked and turned away as soon as she did.
"You don't have to hide things from me," she said, calm and soft as she matched his motion to touch his arm. "Crying is good."
He didn't respond. Stubborn as he always told her she was, he was most likely forcing himself to control his feelings. Howcome men always did that? Was there something in the rulebook that forbade males to sob as they please? How last century.
"My father never cried," he spoke after a while.
Oh, apparently it was hereditary. Videl tried to be understanding; "brutally honest" was probably not the greatest trait of her personality to take advantage of right now, but be that as it may, it was definitely not alright. Men cry; and if they don't, they should.
With a sigh for poise, she grabbed and pulled him by the arm, insisting a little stronger when the alcohol made his feet drag along the sand. Eventually, they made it to the nearby lifeguard's tower, and she almost shoved him against it and into a sitting position on the sand. She straddled him and he tensed for a moment, making her recall why exactly: the same arrangement had been the one fueling her "special dreams" for the past week or so. A hand brought his eyes to hers, and a smile some serenity.
"I know you miss him," she started. "But this destructive behaviour, the drinking… this is not you, Gohan."
He looked away again, but she could see the shell cracking further with that tremble of his chin. "You don't know who I am," he whispered. "You don't know anything about me."
This time he didn't manage the strength to hold it in, and she hugged him tightly around the neck when he started to cry - an achievement that felt nothing like one. Even last week on his birthday, with all the shit that went down he didn't allow himself this freedom. How else had he managed for peace and relief, all these years? Most likely... he didn't. It made her tears come right along.
"It's all my fault. I broke everything." The words were muffled on her shoulder but the despair was palpable and overwhelming. "I let everybody down. I can see it... in their faces, and my mom... I... I broke her. I killed him."
Whose faces? Did someone dare to pin any guilt of his father's death on anything but Cell? No one would be that unfair... he was certainly over-exaggerating things, of course; she'd play the game if it'd help his inebriated self come to some sort of peace over it.
"You're right." Her words worked on bringing his careful gaze back over and she continued. "I don't know anything about you, or your past. But I know you." She traced his jaw, feeling the breeze running even colder on her wet fingers. "I know you wouldn't kill your father on purpose. I know you would do whatever was within your power to help the people you love and I know that you love your father. People make mistakes and they have to live with them but what you're doing is not living. It's regretting."
There was no doubt in her mind that would shake those core beliefs. He could say all he wanted, but she truly knew him, even if not all about him. Everything in his personality would make him claim the responsibility of his father's death, as it did when he took the man's place in their family. She wished to have known him when he was eleven...
"It's okay to regret the results, but you can neverregret your actions when they came from your heart. If I know nothing else about you, Gohan, I know that your heart is pure and I'm sure your father knows it too, wherever he is right now."
A deep breath. "I miss him so much," he confessed, gazing to the far away behind her. "I feel so alone, sometimes."
"You are not alone!" she snapped, cupping his cheeks rather harshly. "Look at me. What about Goten and Mia and Trunks? And me... Gohan, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."
More tears. "You are. Like all the others."
"Stop it!" she almost yelled, and took his hands to cup her cheeks, now. "I'm here. Right now. I'm here, Gohan."
He gave it a couple of seconds before surprising her with a rushed kiss, so passionate and amazing that almost succeeded at erasing the memories of why his face felt all drenched and feverish. Soft moans escaped her with his touch when he took preference in the ticklish skin at her neck, caressing his way down through her arms and waist, to her bent legs which he gripped in fury to drag her closer.
"Gohan. We... we can't," was what her mouth spoke for all the logic that kept her in check but her hands played ignorant, raking up and clutching his spectacular hair to keep him right where he stood. He was nibbling at her skin but this time she wasn't startled - and by God, it felt so amazing.
No, they couldn't. Not with all the unresolved stuff that'd be getting in the way if he wasn't so completely drunk as he was. She felt his fingers exciting her skin below her top and for a brief second she took note of how actively turned on this bold and unrestrained version of him was making her feel. Damn him. He took her breast with one hand and slid his other to her back to press her close. Five seconds; she'd have five seconds of this and nothing more.
One, two, three... four... five... six... seven...
"No, Gohan. Stop!" Some strength she had gathered somewhere made her grip his hands and lean back away from him. "We can't."
"Last week you practically begged me to do this," he almost whined, lazy eyes not interested in meeting hers as much as her cleavage, bobbing up and down with her worked up breaths.
She smiled. Poor thing. He was right. "You're drunk off your ass," Videl reasoned with a smile. "I'd be like raping you."
His head leaned closer again, cheeks and nose rubbing against the top of her breasts. "Please rape me."
Videl laughed, leaning away again. She cupped his cheeks and looked him in the eyes. "I will," she said. "Someday."
He smiled back and they kissed, softly and sweet.
Sharpner sighed one more time, getting close to fed up with all the zapping he was doing, mostly for the repetitive press of the button other than actual channel content.
"Dammit, G..." he vented to the walls, just before stopping all but the beats of his heart, when he heard the knock. His brain relayed the information in a jolt that took him flying up from his bed and over to the door. He opened it abruptly. "Oh, thank God."
"Help me," Videl pleaded and he did so, taking the almost dead weight of a barely conscious Gohan on his shoulder. The young woman took a deep breath. "He's drunk as hell."
No kidding; he smelled as much. And for the love of God, when did the guy get this damn heavy? He'd heard how muscle weighs more than fat, but this was ridiculous! After a short drag, Gohan actually helped a bit and dropped rather softly onto his bed, belly down and knocked out cold from what the blond could tell. His face was all streaky and flushed... he'd been crying.
Dammit, G.
Then again, Videl's was the same, looking back. "Are you okay?" he asked, a hand placed on her shoulder.
She nodded and half-smiled, not gazing away from the corpse before them. He didn't really believe her, but the night had been hard on all of them. Well... on some more than others. "Go home," he recommended. "I'll take it from here."
This time she looked over and that smile seemed a little truer. "He didn't puke in the car, but be careful, okay? He's really overdone it, tonight."
"Don't worry, babe."
"Also, you should turn off his alarm. Nothing he'd have to do in the morning will be done properly with the massive headache he'll have," she continued.
Sharpner chuckled. "Yeah, that's for sure."
"Oh, and-"
"Babe?" the young man interrupted, taking both her shoulders now, and staring her down with an endearing smile. "I got this."
Videl took a moment to stare back and smiled too, pressing her eyes shut as she nodded. Carefully, she knelt next to Gohan and slid her fingers through his hair before planting a sweet, long kiss on his forehead. He mumbled something that made her chuckle.
Getting up, she eyed her blond friend for a bit before going in for a strong hug, which he quickly reciprocated. He could just imagine what kind of shit she went through tonight, taking care of a wild card that was a drunk Gohan. With nothing else other than a couple of smiles and a "be careful" to the unescorted girl at this time of the night - one that didn't need his or any other's protection, he was sure - Videl left and Sharpner stepped back inside, towering over his fallen friend.
The guy looked like crap, but at least he was safely back home. Hopefully, they'd deal with this day a little better, come next year. He, for one, wasn't gonna let the dickhead out of his sight for the whole week prior, he could count on that. Mentally, he started choosing the best words to beat some sense into his roommate come tomorrow morning, headache or no damn headache. Did he really think he could just shun him off like that? And Erasa, and Videl. Videl, especially. The guy was lucky she was madly in love with him. He shook his head.
"You're a damn moron, G," he uttered, not expecting a response and turned to the bathroom to go brush his teeth.
"Sharp?" Gohan's voice, raspy and unexpected, turned him around again.
"Yeah, G?"
His words came in an adorable sigh. "I love her so much."
Sharpner smiled. "I know."
This chapter was beta'ed by the evil Kanotari (I'm sorry, I can't say you're evil and keep a straight face xD). Go check out her work her work, right now!
Also, as some may have seen on my profile, I'm a proud member of Team Dragon Star. For those who are interested, we are a group of collaborative writers who combine our efforts to bring you awesome stories, such as Plus One and Tortured Soul (ones I'm directly involved in). We're an open group, meaning that anyone can apply to join. Feel free to check out our forums (links on my profile), and perhaps apply to join the group, via the link on TDS profile. It's a great opportunity for those who would like to better their own writing skills and exchange skills of the trade with fellow authors, or to simply be more apart of a writing community.
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