hey, you guys waited way too long for a long ace AN so i will save it all for the bottom

without further ado...enjoy

Chapter XXXII

(Epov)

"Just spit it out, Bella." I told her when I saw she was having a hard time saying something. What the hell did have to say that was making her this uncomfortable? In fact, when the hell was the last time we were even uncomfortable around each other? She talked about her parents and her love for Jasper with no problem and she was having trouble now?

I told her to spit it out and did she ever. "You're not in love with me, right?" she said.

When the word left her mouth, I couldn't do anything but stare at her. Love? She asked if I loved her. No, she asked if I was in love with her. I never experience that before, but I know it was stronger than just love. Love was something I had for my family, my friends, my sports; however, in love was something my dad had for Esme, something Alice claim to have Channing Tatum or whoever the hell her flavor of the month is. Hell, it was something even Bella had for Jasper.

But did I have it for her? Was I in love with her? It would explain so much. It would it explain why I get so jealous when she's with or talk about Jasper, even when I know she feels about him and even when said I was going give her up. When she said Jasper gave her the flowers, I just wanted to groan. Of course he would do something like that.

It would explain why I get so mad when guys use to talk to her. They stopped because they realized it was no use. They saw how she and Jasper was. That was something I needed to do. I needed to stop with her. I told myself and I told Alice I would, but I can't. I don't know why, but I can't. Is it because I'm in love with her?

It would also explain why I went out of my way to get her something for Valentine's day, something I never did for anyone, not even Alice. I told her I saw it when I was picking up Tanya's gift. But in truth, I saw it when I was with my dad the week before last to help him look for something for Esme. He took me instead of Alice because he wanted me to get my gifts for them too. Anyways, when we're walking pass a store, I saw that in the window. It cost the same price of my sister's and mother's gift combined; something else I didn't tell her.

No. It couldn't be. I know I like her. I like her a lot; way more than I should, way more than I ever like any girl I have ever dated. But love? How the hell would I be in love with her and not Tanya? Well, because I realize I was never really dating Tanya. We were just putting on a show. That might explain part if not all of it. But, I was eighteen; I couldn't be in love, not with Bella.

It might be time to answer her. "What?" I said. I couldn't help the small chuckle escape.

"It's just what Jake said…"

"Bella, no." I interrupted her before she could say it again.

"Really?" she asked as if she didn't believe me. In truth, I don't think I really believed me.

Maybe the more I say it, the more I will eventually believe it. So, I answered anyways. "Yes, of course not. Geez, that's very vain of you, don't you think?" I said.

She laughed. "Yeah. I guess you're right."

"And you call me conceited." I said.

"Okay, I get it. It was stupid for me to think that." she admitted. Then she sighed. I couldn't help the small clinch I felt when I realized it was a sigh of relief. Like the worst was over or something. "I'm so glad you clarified that." she said.

"Right. I'm not, but I mean would it be so bad if I was." Where the hell did that come from? Why the hell did that come out? I wasn't. I wasn't in love with Bella. So that comment shouldn't have even been thought of, let alone have came out of my mouth. But since it did, I might as well hear what she said had to say.

She shook her head. "Not really bad, just weird." She said.

"Weird?" I asked. Why it would be? Would it be weird because it would be me, or because it wouldn't be Jasper? Something told me the answer would be a little bit of both.

"I mean, you know how I feel about Jasper. I would never return the feelings." She said.

"You said that as if you wouldn't try." There it was again. Something else that shouldn't have been said or even thought of. Edward, stop it. Stop saying all that crap before she knows something is up with you then wonder if you were lying before. I think I should figure it out before she does. Which is why I needed to stop. Just fucking stop

"Edward, I didn't mean it like that. It's just…"

"You know what, never mind. It doesn't matter" I stopped her because I knew I wouldn't like whatever the hell she was going to say. "Let's just get back to work." I said as I grabbed my book. Maybe I shouldn't have even given her that stupid gift. Hell, maybe we shouldn't have stopped in the first damn place.

"Okay." She agreed before getting her book and placing back on her lap.

When she had the book opened to the page we left on, we kept studying. We were about half way through when we were interrupted by a phone ringing. She pulled her phone from her book bag. When I realized it was hers, I assumed it was Rosalie or Jasper texting her, since I was already here. But then she held up one finger, telling me to wait a moment while she unlocked her phone and held it to her ear. I don't ever think I saw her talk on her phone. In fact, she was hardly on it when I was with her.

"Hello." She answered. There was a muffled female voice on the other line "Uh…" Bella's eyes shifted towards me. "Yeah, I'm kinda busy…but today isn't my normal night…but…but…" then I heard a very muffled "Please, we're desperate". Then Bella sighed. "Okay, I'll be over in about ten minutes." She said before hanging up.

"What the hell was that about?" I asked when she turned to me.

"I think we need to cut this short." She told me.

"Why?" why would she say that? What happened on the phone to make her want to stop doing homework?

She gave a sigh. "I have to babysit."

"Really?" I asked. She told me repeatedly that she did that; I guess I never really believe it fully. I mean, she never cut something short or had to leave because she had a babysitting job to go to. She would always say it was before or after we were done.

"Yeah. This isn't my regular night for this couple, but they are going out for dinner and she said they were desperate. The money is good, so I couldn't pass it up." She explained.

"I guess I understand." I told her, but in all honestly, I really didn't. I never had to work for money, as I'm sure she already knew. So she probably knew I was kind of lying.

"Sorry." She said as she closed her book.

I was going to say it was okay. She had to work; I couldn't be selfish and tell her to not go. I doubt she would listen to me anyways. She would probably say something like "not all of us can get money from our parents whenever we want". As far as we came with each other, I knew she would be joking, but I still know she would be thinking it. That's why I was going to let her go. I mean we could work again later, probably during lunch or something. It's not like I'm embarrassed being seen with her anymore or something. But then I thought of something.

"I can come with you."

"Seriously?" she said as in she was in disbelief. I kind of was shocked too that I let that come out my mouth.

But I nodded anyways. "Yeah, I mean no reason to stop studying. I can help you. And when the kid is asleep, we can go back to our homework." I suggested.

"Have you ever even baby sat someone before?" she asked. To be honest, no, never. I didn't even know what was involved with whole thing.

"I mean, I used to watch Alice we were younger." I told her, not telling a lie, but not really answering her question.

"Uh…I guess that counts. Sure." she said as she stuffed her things in her back bag. "Mind if we take your car?" she asked.

"Still don't trust me in yours?" I teased as followed her lead and put my things in my own bag. She laughed but shook her head. "Fine." I said. We got up and I followed her out the door and to my car.

XXX

She gave me directions to the house she had to go to. It didn't take us that long to get there since it was a few blocks from her house. We could've walked if we wanted to. She said the reason she didn't like walking to the houses she had to baby sit at in case she needed to go back to her house or the family needed her to go to the store or something like that.

"Right here." She said as we came up on a house. I turned in the drive way next to the car that was already there.

We got out and I followed her to the front door. She rang the bell once before the door swung open. A woman with long dirty blonde hair that was curled at the end greeted Bella with a wide and grateful smile. She had laugh lines around her pink lips and I could tell she was older than Bella's mom. She was in a red dress, so I could tell she was ready to leave and was just waiting for Bella to get here. "Hi, Mrs. Garrison. You look nice." she greeted.

"Thank you Bella. And thank you for coming on such short notice. You're the best. We never get to go out so this means a lot to me. We own you."

"Yeah, about double my usual pay." Bella teased. Mrs. Garrison laughed. "But, honestly, I'm glad to help." Bella went on.

"Come in." Mrs. Garrison, I guess her name was, invited us before opening the door wider. Bella walked through the door and I followed. I close the door behind us. The house was one-story, but it was little bigger than Bella's house.

"Where is Mr. Garrison?" Bella asked.

"He is still getting ready." The lady answered. "Michael, come here, please. Bella is here." She called down a hall.

Moments after she did, we heard someone walking on the carpet. Then a little boy whose hair matched the woman in front of us came from the hall way. His eyes were brown, which was odd since the woman's were blue. He had on blue overalls over a red and blue shirt.

He got a great big grin when he saw Bella standing there. "Bella!" he cheered in a higher voice I was used to. Because of that, I couldn't help but wonder how old he was. He ran to her. I thought he was going to hug her around her leg. I was proven wrong when she bended down and picked him up. He hugged her and she kissed him on the cheek. I didn't think she would do that. Not because I didn't think she liked kids; she wouldn't be doing this if she didn't. But because I never seen anyone that affectionate with a child before. Alice can't handle children and Tanya absolutely hated them. She always says how she doesn't want one, which kinda sucks. I mean, I wouldn't mind having a little boy when the time comes.

"Hi Mikey." She greeted him.

"Are we going to play today?" he asked.

She nodded. "I'm here all night." she told him. He gave another cheer before hugging her again. Then he looked over her shoulder. When he saw me, he pulled away from Bella. "Who is that?" he asked in her ear. I guess he was trying to be secretive, but he was at that age where he didn't know how to whisper yet.

Bella turned around and looked at me with Michael still in her arms.

Bella gave a chuckle as if she just remembered I was behind her. I guess that's what's happens when she was in her "zone". It probably didn't help that I haven't said much either. "Oh, sorry. Mikey, this is my friend, Edward." She introduced me.

I gave him a little two finger wave. "How's it going, kid?" I said with a smile.

He stared at me before giving a small wave. "Um, Michael, go see if your father needs any help."

"But I want to stay with Bella." The kid whined.

"Now, please." She demanded.

"I will be here when you get back. Go how your daddy." Bella said before putting the kid on the floor. He gave a small okay before going back down the hallway he can.

When he was gone and out of sight, his mother looked at back at us and gave Bella a disappointing look. I couldn't help but wonder why. "Bella, you know our rule." She said to her.

"What?" Bella said in confusion. Her and me both.

"You're 'friend'." She said with air quotes and then nodded behind Bella to me. What rule and what did it have to do with me?

Bella looked at me. When she did, she laughed. She turned back to Mrs. Garrison. "Oh, no. it's not what you think." She said. What did she think?

"Bella, I know things have change, but I do know how 'friends' are when they are alone and you know I wish to not to expose my child to that." The woman said with air quotes around the word friend. I wanted to laugh too when I saw that. I don't know why it took for her to do that for me to get it.

She thought Bella lied to her son. She thought Bella was my girlfriend, or the reason she was worried, she thought Bella brought her boyfriend to "help" her baby sit. The word "help" being code for make out on the couch as soon as the little boy was out of the room. It was because I wanted more from Bella, I never wanted anything more, I couldn't help but to think about how Tanya would react if she heard that assumption, hell, if Jasper heard. No matter how hard I tried, not like I really did, I couldn't stop the small grin that appeared on my face as I knew they both would be pissed. I found it a little funny.

But in all honestly, I don't think she would be too far off with that "help from boyfriend" assumption if…"No, seriously we're just friends." Bella said again and just like that, my grin dropped. Right, if it wasn't for that damn word. I know now why I hate that damn word so much.

"Bella…" Mrs. Garrison warned.

"No. he really is. We were studying when you called." Bella told her.

Mrs. Garrison gave a hard sigh. "I suppose he can stay this once." She looked over Bella's shoulder to me. "But don't make this a habit." She said to Bella, but clearly aiming it at me. Geez, and I thought Bella was a hard ass, but then I met her dad so I thought he was; but this woman, she was just…strict would be the nice way to say what I am thinking. I wanted to roll my eyes, but I knew I shouldn't mess this up for Bella. But I don't see why this Mrs. Garrison was so damn upset with us when she was in fact the one who called Bella on her day off. What did she think, Bella didn't have anything better to do than to watch her child when she couldn't? Probably. If I didn't know any better, I would more than likely think the same thing. Hell, once upon a time, I did think the exact same thing.

"I thought I heard Bella." We heard a male's voice. We all turned to the hall wall to brown short hair and brown eyes and he was holding Michael's hand. I can see where the kid got the eyes from. Now that I was looking at them all at once, the kid's hair color was more natural than his mom's and looked to be the same kind of texture as the dad. He had his dad's eye color, but his mom's eye shape. No matter, there was no doubt Michael was the dude's son. He couldn't deny him even if he wanted to.

The guy smiled at Bella. "Good evening Bella." He said to her.

"Hi." She answered. "Nice tie." She commented on the red tie with pink stripes he had on. I wouldn't say it was nice, but it definitely fit the theme of the day.

He looked down as if he forgot what he had on. He looked back at her and smile. "Why, thank you." He replied.

"I helped pick it." the kid said.

Bella smiled at him. "You did?" she asked. He nodded. "Wow, you did a good job." She commented. She turned back to the guy with the red and pink tie. "I should tell you before you ask. This is my friend." She said gesturing to me.

He looked her shoulder to me. "Edward." I introduced myself.

"Nice to meet you." He said with a nod.

"Yeah, we have homework to finish so he came with me." Bella told him.

"Okay." Was all he said. I was shocked. I thought he would react the same way his wife did. Speaking of which, he turned to her and said. "We should get going." he released his sons hand before going to get their coats.

"Bella, the name and number of the restaurant is on the counter and so is all the emergency numbers." She said to Bella.

The guy chuckled. "Susan, she's been doing this for four years now, I think she got it." he stopped her from going further like I knew she would and handed her her coat. "Come on, our reservation is at eight and they will only hold it for thirty minutes."

"Okay. Come here, please Michael." She said before bending down. The boy walked towards her. She placed her hands on his shoulder. "Now, Bella has a guest with her tonight so you must be on your very best behavior. Okay?"

"Yes mommy." He said politely. Wow, they sound like they were making a business plan or something. I wondered if they always talked like that and if she knows that he's five and not thirty-five. She smiled before kissing his cheek. She reminded Bella of her rules and his dinner and his bed time before her husband finally pulled her out of the door. Was she like that every time she leaves Bella in charge of her son or was she just making a special exception because I was here? Didn't the guy say Bella's been doing this for four years? It had to be the second one then.

When the door closed, I looked at Bella. "She's kind of…" I stopped to look for the right word.

"Strict?" she guessed. Not the word I would have used, but there was a kid in the room. So I just nodded.

"Yeah, kind of. Is she always like that?" I couldn't help but ask.

Bella chuckled. "Yeah, she is." Uh. And here I thought I was special. "She has a way of doing things and she wanted them done her way. I guess she has a reason. Michael is an only child and he was kind of a hard birth." She said softly, so I guess I guess he wouldn't hear her.

"Bella…" he called her. she looked at him. "Play?" he asked.

She smiled and nodded as she picked him up again. "Time for work." She joked to me before walking toward the back room. I followed her.

XXX

I sat in the corner of the room as she played with Michael. I didn't know what else to do because I never played with someone younger than ten before. She looked like an expert as she built towers made out of his playing blocks with him. The way she played with him was cute. I don't think I have seen anything cuter than that. The smile on her face was so carefree; as if she wasn't worried about anything but getting a somewhere stable tower built.

After about thirty minutes, she said his mom said he had homework and that he needed to finish it before they could play some more. That's what he was doing now. He was sitting at the coffee table in the living room as Bella and I sat behind him on the couch. She had her body turned towards me as she read the question from the history book. I looked up to answer. My eyes stopped at her chest. I see her way more than just sexy new Bella, but that didn't take anything away from the fact that that's exactly what she was. "Uh…1956?" I guess as I quickly looked away so she wouldn't catch me staring. Then she would really wonder if the answer I gave her earlier was true if she saw that.

She looked through the text before answering. "Yep." She said.

She flipped back to the page to read another question, probably the last one of the chapter. She was about to read it when she to stopped. "Bella, I'm done" Michael said from in front of us. she looked at him. I couldn't help that feeling that I get when her attention isn't on me. I don't like it, but I'll control it more because it was just a five year kid.

"You are?" she asked. He nodded. "Can I check it?" she asked before taking the page from him. She gave it a quick look, it shouldn't have taken her too long since it was just simply additional. Hell, I'm sure I could have checked it. "You might want to check number two and three." She told him before giving it back.

He looked at the page before shaking his head. "They're right." he argued.

"Are you sure?" she asked. He nodded. She held up two fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?" she asked. He answered two. She handed put them down and held up three. "Now how many?" she asked. He answered three. Then she held up both hands, one had three fingers, the other had two. "Put them together." She said. He counted the fingers aloud.

"Oops." He said when he finished before turning back to the page and erasing his answer.

I couldn't help but smile because I knew how it felt to think I was right just to have to her tell me, in the nicest way possible, that I wasn't. She looked at me. "What?" she asked when she saw me smiling.

I chuckled as I shook my head. "You're just a good teacher." I told her

She gave a smile back. "Thank you."

"Okay, done." He said, again taking her attention away. "Play now?" he asked. He pouted when she shook her head. "I have to help Edward with his homework now." she told him. He looked over her shoulder at me.

"Sorry?" I said with a slight question. Should I really be the one saying that since she was helping me first? Wow, I said selfish and spoiled. But then again, when did I really care about that?

"How about you make a card for your mommy? I'm sure she would like that when she gets home." she said.

"Okay." He said before getting off the floor. He came back a few minutes later with a box in his hand. He took his place back at the coffee table in front of us. he opened it and pulled out colored card stock and glitter glue tubes.

"Be careful with that glitter, please."

"I will." He promised before unscrewing the top of one.

"You sound like such a mom." I teased when she turned back to me.

She gave a smile. "I kinda have to. Sorry we keep getting interrupted." She said.

I gave a shrug. "It's okay." I lied. I knew this one was a lie. I don't like when I have to share her, even if it's with just a little kid. We're alone so little; is it wrong to have her all to myself for that small amount of time? One might say yes because she wasn't mine to claim and to want that alone time; but hey, she wasn't Jasper's either and he wanted the same thing. It just so happens that I get it more. "You're good at your job. When you two were playing, it was…" I didn't want to say it because every time I compliment her, she takes it the wrong way or ask me something I couldn't answer. But I thought "what the hell" and said anyways. "Cute." I told her.

Then she did something I never thought I would see her do, not for me anyways. She blushed. It was a light blush, barely noticeable, but still. "Wow, hot and cute in one night. Edward, when did you become such the charmer?" she teased.

I gave a smile with a shrug. Once again, a question I didn't have an answer for. "You must really like children to get paid for watching them." I said, changing the subject back.

She nodded. "I want three of my own." She answered.

"Really?" I said, shocked.

"Yeah, is that surprising?" she asked. Well, yes. For one, talking care of someone else's kids for a few hours were different than having your own because you give them back when their parents come home. Another reason that shocked me because I never heard a girl saying she wanted more than…well…none.

"It's just kind of the first time I heard something like come out of a girl's mouth before." I told her.

"What?" she said as she dramatically covered her mouth to add to her fake gasp. "Hasn't Tanya talked about your little princes and princesses and how they're going to be second generation Cullens, ruling the school and crushing the loser like their parents?" she joked with a teasing smile.

It slipped when I shook my head. "She doesn't want any kids." I told her honestly.

Now it was her turn to be shocked. "Really?"

"She said she doesn't want 'some little brats ruining her body'." I said, quoting exact what my girlfriend tells every time we're out and see a couple with a child and the talk of them comes up.

When she heard that, Bella gave a hard and annoyed sigh. "That girl is such a…" she groaned but stopped, I guess looking for the right word.

"A selfish bitch?" I filled in for her.

"Edward." She chuckled. I gave her look that asked what. She nodded to the little person in front of us who was coloring a piece of paper.

"Sorry." I said, though I doubt he even heard me. "And I think I'm starting to really see that."

"Can I ask you something?" she said.

"Sure"

"Why in the world are you dating her?" she asked.

I sighed. "I told you why." I told her as I looked away.

"I know what you said, but Edward I'm going to tell you something." she waiting until I was looking at her again. "I see the way you are around her. I don't if it's because I close now or because I was on the outside looking in before, but I see it. You tolerate her. You know how evil she is and you still put up with her and everything she does."

"I know." I admitted in a sigh. I realized about a month ago that was exactly what I was doing. I mean, that's what I did before all of this, but now, I can barely deal with her.

"Then why? I mean, it's not like you can't find someone better." she said.

I gave a serious look. "Do you think I deserve someone better?" I asked.

She gave a chuckle. "I won't lie; you can be a huge jerk; but you can also be nice and kind of a sweetheart, I mean, when you want to be." She said with a smile.

"Now who's the charmer?" I couldn't help but joke.

"Be quiet." She nudged me. "I'm just saying. You can do better, much better."

"Well, thank you. I probably needed to hear that." I mumbled. I looked away from. I wanted to stop this talk we were having. I might say something I shouldn't. I looked to see how Michael was doing. It's been a while since he interrupted us and I figure it was time. "Uh…Bella." I said.

"What?" I pointed to the little boy in front of us. He had glitter all over his hands and some on the table. "Oh, no. Mikey!" she exclaimed. He looked at her. "I told you to be careful." She said before grabbing the tubes and putting them back in the box. "I will be right back." she said after placing the box on a high book shelve so he couldn't reach it. She rushed in the kitchen.

When she was gone, Michael looked at me. "Is Bella mad at me?" he asked.

I was surprised he was talking to me since he had since I walked through the door. "Um…she did tell you be careful so maybe." I answered.

As soon as I said that, I saw his lips tremble. "Am I going to get in trouble?" he asked.

"Uh…" I've seen Alice give that same face many of times and I knew exactly what it was. Oh crap.

His eyes filled with water before tears start running down his face. "I don't want to get in trouble." He said as he started crying. He shook his head. "Tell her I'm sorry. I don't want to get in trouble." He said as he cried some more.

"Uh…" I said as I held my hand out in confusion. I didn't know what to do. I awkwardly patted him. "It's okay. Please stop." I begged. I didn't know how to handle this. My sister never cried when we were alone. Someone was always there to stop her. He didn't seem to hear or to care about what I said as he cried more. Crap, what if Bella thinks I did this. "Please, stop crying." I begged more. He cried more.

"What happened?" someone said. Thank goodness. I looked up and saw Bella with a damp paper towel in her hand.

He turned to her. "Don't tell mommy. I don't want to get in trouble." He begged as he cried more.

She looked at me. I gave a shrug I don't have a damn clue what the hell I did to get him to cry as hard as he was. And why was he so scared about his mother finding out? She walked towards him. She stopped and landed on his knees in front of him. "You're not going to get in any trouble, Mikey." She assured him as she moved his hands from the table. "Why would you think that?" she said.

he pointed at me. "He said you were mad at me." she looked at me again, this time more of a glare. I mouthed a sorry.

She sighed as she turned back to him. "I'm not mad at you. Just when I ask you to do something, please try harde to do it." she told him as she wiped the table to clear it of some of the glitter he got all over it. She turned to him and smiled. "Okay?" she said. He gave a nodded. "Good." She said. She wiped his tears away before kissing him on the cheek. I can't believe I was jealous of a five year old. "Go wash your hands please. And don't touch anything until you get to the bathroom." She said. He gave a okay before getting off the floor and walking to be the bathroom.

"You're good." I said in amazement when he left.

She laughed as she kept rubbing to get some glitter off the table. "Thanks."

"No seriously. When he started crying, I almost started freaking out. I'm glad you were here." I told her.

She looked at me. "Truth; I wasn't always like that." she said.

"I find that hard to believe."

"Well, I wasn't. When I turned thirteen, I realized I wanted my own money. I told my dad I wanted to start working so he told me a guy from his job was a single dad and need some extra help. He said the kid was three. I thought why not, how bad could a three year old be, right. I was so wrong. No one told me he never left his daughter with someone or that she was a full on daughter's girl. She spent half the time crying then the other half throw her toys at me." she said with a chuckle and a head shake. "By time her dad came back, I was the one crying. I told my dad I never wanted to do that again. He said I just need practice. Well, that's what happened and here I am, five years later, cleaning glitter off a table." She joked.

I gave a laugh. "Well, you got good at it. Need some help?" I asked.

"I can use it." she said before handing me the other paper towel that was damp as well. I moved to the floor and followed her lead in cleaning off the table. "Not the way you thought to you would be spending Valentine's Day, is it?" she asked.

I smiled. "This is fine." I told her.

She smiled back. "I bet Tanya would be furious if she finds out." she said.

I gave a shrug. "Most likely." I agreed

"What are you guys doing?" we heard a voice. We both turned to it.

Bella smiled at Michael. "Cleaning up your mess."

"Sorry." He said bashfully.

She laughed. "It's okay. Come here." She invited. He walked over to us. "Are you hungry?" she asked. He nodded. She turned to me. "Any suggestions?" she asked.

"Uh…pizza." I guessed.

"Yay!" he cheered.

She laughed. "I think we have a winner. I'll call the pizza place." She said before grabbing her phone and getting off the floor.

XXX

While we waited for the pizza to come, she played with Michael again. This time, I played with them. I was kind of surprised he let me play with them. After I made him cry, I didn't think he liked me.

Then the pizza came. He ate three slices. That was more than the two pieces I had. She said he really loves it and doesn't get to have it often. She also said I might have to take it home because she wasn't supposes to have it either. I forgot her mother was like that. But I was fine with taking it home. Left over pizza was almost as good as fresh ones.

After we ate we watched his favorite movie. He fell asleep on Bella's lap. Then his parents came home. "Aw, that so sweet." His mom gushed. I had to agree. It was adorable; it almost made me want to take a picture with my phone. "Thank you Bella." She whispered as she lifted her son off Bella's lap and walked down the hall.

"Thank you Bella." Michael's dad said. He reached in his wallet and handed her a few bills. "See you on Saturday." He said. She nodded. We gather our things and walked toward the door.

Before we could walk through the door, we heard a sleepy voice. "Wait." Bella and I turned. Michael was rubbing his eye with his fist and had something in his other hand. He walked over to us. "This is for you." He said to Bella before holding up the paper for her. She bended down and took it from his hand. It homemade card with a disproportioned and scribbled heart on it. Bella opened it. It said "be my valtime." It had hearts and flowers all over it. She smiled at it. "I made it at school today. Do you like it?" he said hopefully.

She looked at him and nodded. "I do. I love it. I might be the best thing I got all day. Thank you." She said before hugging him again.

When she released him, he looked at me. "I didn't make you one." he said.

I gave a smile. "Uh, that's okay." I told him. "Come on, Bella." I said tapping her arm.

"Wait" he said again before we could turn away. What did he want now? He opened his fist. In it sat a small green and blue racing car. "It's for you." He said as I looked at it.

He was giving me something? I looked at his parents. They were wondering the same thing I was. Why was he giving me this? Whatever the reason, it was nice. Maybe he had much more fun than I thought. I looked back at him. "I can't take that." I told him.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because it's yours."

"But I want you to have it. Besides, you need to work your racing." He said, causing Bella giggle. Oh that was why. He thought I needed it after I let him win three games while we were racing his toy cars. "Take it." he urged.

I shrugged. I didn't see a reason why not. "Okay." I said as I took the car from his hand. "Thanks kid. Now go to bed." I said as I stuffed it in my pocket. He nodded. He said bye to us one more time before walking away from us.

"Thanks again." his parents said as Bella and I walked out the door.

I dropped Bella off at her house before going home.

When I got there, I noticed the kitchen light was on. It was well after eleven, almost midnight, so I was kind of shocked. I walked to see who was in there. "What are you doing?" I asked when I saw my sister standing at the counter. She looked up from her magazine.

"Hey. I'm eating a salad before I go to bed." She said.

"Why?" I asked.

She gave a shrug. "I was carving one." she said.

I laughed. "Who the hell carves a salad?" I asked. I've heard of people carving chocolate and even carving a cheeseburger. But never a salad.

She laughed back. "Shut up. What are you doing home so late?" she asked. Usually when I come home from Bella's house, it's earlier. It was almost midnight, which was why I was surprised the kitchen light was on. No one in my family is in the kitchen after a certain time.

"I was helping Bella baby sit some little kid and his parents came home a little late." I explained.

She covered her mouth to keep from laugh loudly. "You? Baby siting? That poor kid." She joked.

"Shut up." I replied. "It was fun. The kid was nice and Bella was really good with him." I told her.

"I could imagine. She seems like the type to likes kids, not like your witch of a girlfriend." She said. Then I did something I didn't think I would do when it came to Alice talking about Tanya. I gave a chuckle. I've never done it before, another way I stay out of the little rifts, but this time I couldn't help it. "Are you okay?" she asked. I looked at her. "I just made fun of your girlfriend and you just chuckled. Is something wrong?" she asked, knowing the same thing I did.

I gave a sigh. I should tell someone what I was thinking "Alice, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." she answered before stabbing a piece of lettuce with her fork.

"What do you think of Tanya?" I asked.

"Edward you know what I think of that she-devil." She simply answered before putting the lettuce in her mouth to eat it.

"I mean, you actually hate her? You don't just say that just because. Isn't it one of those things that you don't know you have until it's gone, is it?" I asked.

"No, Edward, I really can't stand her. Why are you asking me this?" she said.

I gave another sigh. She would be the first person I told, hell, it would be the first time I said it out loud since I decided it. "Because I think I'm going to break up with her." I announced.

Alice jaw dropped when she heard me. "What?"

I gave her look. "Did you really not hear me?"

"I just don't know if I heard you correctly. Did you really say what I think you think? Are you really going to finally break up with the Wicked Bitch of Forks?" she asked.

"Thinking about. " I said.

"What made you finally come to your senses?" she asked with a smirk.

I couldn't help but chuckle again. I decided I didn't care about what she said about Tanya; not anymore. I've to realize that she and my mother were right. Tanya was no good for me and I don't know why it took me falling for Bella to see that. "Last week, she told me she was happy to be dating me." I said.

"Really?" Alice said in shock. "Was your shirt on or off?" she teased.

I rolled my eyes because I know what she meant. "We were in the hall way at school, jackass." I replied. She gave a laugh. "Anyways, then she said it was another reason for the other girls to be jealous of her. That's when I realized the real reason she is dating me and it was because she is using me to make her look good." I explained.

"Like you're doing with her?" Alice asked.

"Well, yeah, but…"

She interrupted me. "Not that I'm defending that bitch, I think any reason to cut her loose is a great one. Anyways, don't think I'm taking her side or anything when I say this, but why is it okay for you to do it and not her?" she said. She wasn't taking Tanya's side. She was just making a good point. Why was it okay for me to use Tanya, but when I find out Tanya is doing the exact same thing, the relationship should end?

I never thought I would say what I did next. "I don't want to be in a shallow relationship. And besides, I didn't know how it feels; but since I do, I don't like it. It makes me feel like…like…" I couldn't find the word

"Like an accessory?" she guessed.

"Edward Cullen is no one's damn accessory." I snapped. That was the damn word. I didn't like it, but it was the perfect one.

Alice laughed at my snap. "So that's the reason?" she asked.

I gave a nod. That pretty much sums it up. "Uh…I think it might be something else." I admitted. She looked at me. I never knew how it felt to be used. There was something else I never felt. I never felt the feeling of being in love. That's why I was rather confused when Bella asked me. Was being jealous and selfish with her love or was it just me being a spoiled brat? Hell, me being aware of how fucking bratty I can be is a change for me and has to mean some kind deep feeling. "You don't think I'm like…in love with Bella, do you?" I asked Alice because I know she would tell me the truth and not just what she thinks I want to hear. I mean when the hell was the last time she did tell me what I wanted to hear.

This time her eyes popped open. "What?"

"When I was over her house, I gave her her gift and she asked me if I was in love with her." I explained.

"Well, what did you say?" Alice asked.

"I said no, of course. But right after I said it, I couldn't help but feel like I was lying." I admitted.

Alice gave a hard sigh. "Damn it Edward. We talked about this. I thought you were giving up her. Remember, you said you were going to stop coming in between her and Jasper."

"Alice, I've tried. Believe me, I don't think I ever had to try so fucking hard not to do something. But I can't. I don't know what it is or what the hell she does to me, but I just can't stop and I don't think I want to."

Alice sighed again. Somehow this one was harder than the first one. "Are you sure this isn't you just wanting something you know you can't have?" she asked.

"I won't lie, it might have been something like that before, but I don't think it is." I answered.

She gave a groan." Okay, then I give you permission to go after her."

I couldn't help but laugh when I heard her say that. "Permission?" I asked. She did know she really didn't have a say in this, right? Once again, it wasn't about her, no matter how much she wanted to be.

"Yes, Edward, permission. Like I said before, I didn't work so hard on her for you. But if you really want her and not going to play her like one of your other girls, then I will leave you alone about it." she said. Oh, so that's what she meant. I guess it would be nice to get her "permission", as she puts it, if it meant she would stop making me feel bad about how I feel.

"Are you sure it won't mess up your plan to make them the perfect couple?" I couldn't help but say sarcastically.

"Edward, if you want me to say that her and Jasper aren't cute together, than you're SOL. But no matter how cute they are, you're my brother and I want your happiness first. I won't give a damn about everyone else if you're happy." she answered. That was nice her to say. Now if she meant it or not, I could never be sure. "Speaking of happiness, when are you going to finally make me happy and cut the damn chains from that fucking she-beast?" she asked, getting back to the subject of Tanya. I chuckled again. I found it amusing that she had so many names for Tanya. I wonder if it took her time to think of all her insults or do they just roll off her tongue without too much of a second thought. It was mostly likely the second one. Alice wasn't really the one to think then talk.

"I don't know. Valentine's day is done so I should probably do it soon, before prom things starts happening." I answered.

Alice laughed. "I can't wait to tell Rosalie" she said.

I gave her a look. "Yes you can because you're not gonna tell her." I said.

"Why not?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes at my sister. "Because you tell her and then it will be all over the School because I even get to Tanya. I want break up with her, Alice, not embarrass the girl." I told her.

"Can't you do both?" she asked.

"Alice..." I groaned.

She sighed. "Fine, I get you point. I won't say anything to anyone at school. But can I at least tell mom. You know she hates that bitch just as much as I do." I knew it.

"Sure" I sighed because I knew she felt she needed to tell someone. It might as well be my mom. It will save me the trouble.

"Yay! I'm pretty sure she is asleep right now so I will probably tell her in the morning."

"Whatever." I mumbled.

She walked over to the sink and placed the plate and fork she was using in it. "Speaking of which, I'm tired. I'm going to bed." She walked over to me and gave me a hug. "Love you bro. I hope you make the right decision." She said as I leaning into her hug.

"Love you, too sis." I said as she released me. She walked away and I heard her climb the stairs.

I hope I make the right decision too.

welcome to the bottom of the page.

to whom who care. i am not, i repeat NOT giving up on this story. i keep telling you i won't so i won't. i dont give up on stories if i start one, i'm going to finish. it might take some time, but i will finish it. like i keep saying, i'm in college so i've been busy for the whole month of october. sorry. i write whenever i get a chance, i just dont never have a chance.

anyways, thanks for the people who are still here and believes me when i say i won't give up on a story. i love you guys. i would talk you guys some more, but i about to watch disney movies and read something for class tomorrow. love you guys again. keep R & R-ing

Luv & Rockets