hellos. bet you guys thought i forgot about you. no i didnt. but i will say, thanks for all the support and good wishes. yes, i took a small hiatus; dealing with finals and projects and everything. but i am well and now on break, meaning i am back in full affect. we are going to get this thing started again and get it done, son.

so...without further ado, i bring to you next chp to O.f.C...uh...shoe. just need something rhythm

i know, i'm a lame. you learn to love it.

anyways...

Chapter XXXIV

(Epov)

I stopped Bella in the hall. Well, actually, she came up to me when Emmett and I were talking. I was kind of embarrassed when I assumed she was Alice. But when I turned and saw it was her, I couldn't help, but to be happy I to see I was wrong.

Then she gave me money. I was confused until she told me it was my "half" for helping her baby sit. I didn't want to take it. I knew how important her earnings were to her. But she kinda forced it in my hand so I really didn't have a choice.

Then I did something stupid. I told her I was going to break up with Tanya. I don't know why I did that. I didn't even know why I thought she would care, besides what she said to help me make the decision. I shouldn't have thought she cared enough what I did and who I did it with. I'm sure she didn't. But to be honest, it was kind of nice to tell someone besides Alice. Alice was very one sided when it came to me and Tanya so I knew what her response would be. It was good to get another opinion about the whole thing.

But that wasn't the stupid thing I was thinking of. I mean, it was kinda silly to tell her and to think she would care, though she did more that I think she should. But I told her I want to tell her something else. Then she looked at me with those big brown eyes and I felt something trembled. I don't know what it was because I never felt the way I did before.

It was a good, hell, a great thing that her friend interrupted because what the hell was going to tell her? That I think I was lying about…about…what the hell did I think I was lying about? I don't know. I don't think I ever met a girl who made me so confused and I didn't even have a damn clue on what I was so fucking confused about. After our little thing in the hall, the whole day went by in a blur.

The next morning, I was sore from practice. We had our last game for high school football; for some of us, our last game period, on Saturday and coach ran us into the damn ground for four hours. He made any "power trip" I went on this past year, look like child's play compared to what he did to us. I don't think I ever hurt so much. I was in so much pain, I didn't want to go to school. The only reason I did because I had a test. Not to mention we had another practice after school. If I even thought about missing one practice from now until the game, Coach would probably chop my head off and use it as the damn ball. Yeah, no thanks.

When I got to my locker, I had to ease my bag off my shoulder. I will be happy when this day is over.

As soon as I got it off, someone hit me on my back. I groaned in pain. I was ready to hit whoever it was back and harder. Then Jasper leaned on the locker next to me. He smiled at me. "Good morning." He greeted.

"Ow." I replied, talking about the hit in the back he just gave me. "Dude, what the hell?" I snapped .my back and my shoulders were the worst so when he hit me, it send a shock through my damn spine. He just chuckled. I was still holding on to that whole hitting-him-hard thing. Anything to get that stupid smile off his face. What the hell was he so damn happy about?

"My apologizes." He replied. Geez, he's starting to talk like her. "How was your night?' he asked. I rolled my eyes away from him. Him and his stupid conversation starters. As if he really cared. I wasn't Bella; I wasn't going to blush and pretend like what we're talking about is interesting. In fact, I didn't really feel like talking to him today.

"Leave me alone." I mumbled.

He laughed. "Damn, who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?" he asked in a teasing tone. "Lighten up." He said as he pushed me in the shoulder. It was light push, but it was the arm I throw with so it still hurt. This wasn't helping him.

I turned to him. "I'm sore. Aren't you?" I asked.

He just laughed again. I'm getting tired of him. "I am, but I'm getting over it."

Of course he was. Damn model citizen. "Why the hell are you so damn happy?" I asked, annoyed now; well, more.

He shrugged. "I had a good night. so good, everything else doesn't seem like it matters."

"Please go on." I answered sarcastically. I had no interest in hearing anything he had to say about his night. If I didn't want to talk about mine, what the hell made him think I would want to hear about his?

"Come on, Edward, a gentleman never kisses and tells." He said, once again chuckling. I really wish he would stop doing that. That damn laugh of his was starting to really wearing on my nerves.

But then I realized what he said. I turned to him. Kisses? It was only one person, right now anyways, that he was kissing. But he couldn't have been talking about who I know he was talking about. I mean when were they in connect with each other for her to have that much of an effect on him. From what I heard at lunch, Bella was studying with Rosalie; at their house. Then it clicked. Why didn't it hit before that? "You hung out with Bella last night?" I asked.

He nodded. "She came over to study with Rosalie. Luckily for me, she was out with Emmett and Bella stayed over."

"So she's the reason you're so damn giddy?" I asked. I really didn't want him to continue.

His smile widened. "It was a really good night. I thought she didn't like me, not the way I liked her." he said. I couldn't help but snort. They're both so oblivious when it came to each other, it was almost humorous. It probably would be if they weren't oblivious to everyone else as well. Damn, now I was talking like her. The damn girl was contagious. He went on. "I know how it sounds." No he didn't. "But after last night, I think it's pretty safe to say I don't think that anymore." He said.

I gave a hard and heavy sigh. "Stop." I ordered before he went into detail about whatever went on between them. Isn't it enough that I have to sit and watch them? I didn't want to hear about them. But that doesn't seem to stop either of them from talking about the other in front me. I'm pretty sure if I told either one of how I felt, they would stop. Bella would probably feel to awkward around me if the words ever came out and Jasper was my friend, so I'm pretty sure he wasn't talking about Bella to rub my nose in it in. he was just telling a friend about a girl he really liked, through it feels a lot like the other thing.

He laughed. "I have to deal with Tanya; the least you can do is listen to me." I closed my locker and we started walking towards our first period class we share. "Anyways, her and I are getting a lot closer. you think I should…"

"I thought I told you to stop." I ordered again, interrupting him. I didn't know what he was going to say and I didn't really care.

Once again, he just laughed. "Calm down, crunchy." He nudged me. "The season is almost over, then you can go back to happy Edward." He teased. I mumbled a whatever. At least he stopped talking about him and Bella. Then he turned his head. When he did, I don't think I seen a smile get as big as his got at that moment. He was like a child who just saw an endless river of his favorite candy and he was about to jump head first in it. What the hell was he so happy about now? I turned my head to see for myself. I wanted to groan. Speak of the damn devil. She was wearing a red skirt that was short in the front and long in the back. The way her legs looked in it, I wanted to smile too. Bella was standing at her locker with Rosalie standing by the locker next to her. Rosalie was leaning into Emmett as his arm draped over her shoulders

Bella was turned away from us, talking to her friend. So she didn't see me or Jasper or what he did next. Jasper quickly walked over to her, careful not to make any noise as he crept up behind her. When he was right behind her, he poked her in the sides. She gave a loud yelp before turning to him. "No matter how many times you do that, I always get scared." She said with a smile. The same one Jasper had on his face. What is it with these two?

"That's why I do it, Belle." He answered before opening his arms. She walked into them and they hugged each other.

She looked passed him to me. "Hi Edward." She said as she pulled back from him. I hear they have a thing for long hugs. I wondered how long that particular one would have beem if she didn't happen to see me. Jasper looked behind him as if he forgot I was there. Pretty sure he did.

I walked over to them and stood next to Emmett. "Hey, man." He greeted as he held his hand out.

"Hey." I greeted back as I slapped his open palm with mine.

"Hi Edward." Rosalie looked around Emmett and greeted me.

"Hey." I replied. It's funny. She and I became a little closer since Bella joined the group.

"How's your arm?" Emmett asked. He was the first to do so.

I gave a shrug. "I've been better." I replied as I rolled my throwing arm.

Rosalie laughed. "Yeah, Emmett said he was sore too. He made me rub his shoulders when we got back from the mall." She said to me.

I gave a small chuckle back. "And you did a great job." Emmett cooed before kissing her on the lips. She smiled as she grabbed his shirt and leaned into him. That was something I didn't need to see.

When I turned my attention back to Jasper and Bella, they were facing us, probably listening to the small conversation Rosalie and I was having. But then I saw something that just annoyed the living hell out of me. Bella was supporting the weight of Jasper on her back as he leaned on her with his arms hanging over her shoulders and his head resting on top of her. She looked like she was trying to wear him as a cape. She also didn't look bothered by what he was doing. I know it shouldn't have been. It wasn't like I haven't seen it before. I mean, I even do the same thing to Alice sometimes. The position is much more joking than serious. It's also kind of a test to see how close the other person would let you get to them. However, considering everything, any little thing between the two of them annoyed me.

"Dude, she's not a fucking stand. Get the hell off her." I snapped. And that's why that came out. All four of them looked at me, even Rosalie and Emmett who were out of the little lip lock now. Their faces all covered with nothing but confusion. It was as if they were all wondering what the hell was wrong with me and why did I just snap like that. I know what they were thinking. They were thinking it was for no reason and that it came out of no fucking where. And because they couldn't read my mind, they would be right. I cleared my throat to clear some of the tension. "I mean…" I stopped because I had to think. What would be a good reason for blurting something out like that? "I mean, how do you even know she wants you on her?" I asked. "You're almost double her size. You might crush her."

Everyone's attention turned to Bella. She laughed. "He's fine." She assured us.

"And besides, I'm not that heavy. It's not like I'm Emmett's size." Jasper joked while giving a teasing smiling to Emmett.

Emmett flipped Jasper off. "Whatever, your sister is not complaining." He replied in his own teasing voice. Everyone gave a groan. It didn't take much for all over us to get it. I think even Bella had an idea on what he was talking about; but I couldn't tell because she didn't react as strongly as the rest of us. .

Rosalie elbowed him in stomach. "Not in front of people, please." She said to him. He chuckled before kissing her on the cheek. "Can we please move away from the Emmett's and mine personal business?" she asked us.

"Are you three ready for the game on Saturday?" Bella asked, respecting her friend's request.

"If we're not, Coach sure as hell gonna make sure we are." Emmett replied for us; pretty much saying exacting what Jasper and I were thinking.

"It's the last one, right?" she asked.

All the guys nodded. I was going to answer, but Jasper beat me to it. "Yep, and the one you won't be going to." He said. It sounded like he was teasing. I looked at him to see he had a smile on his face, telling me he was. But he was also still hanging on Bella so I had kept myself from knocking it and him off.

What did he mean the one she wasn't going to? "You're not coming to the game." I asked.

She shook her head. "Bella's going on a date with her daddy." Rosalie teased.

I looked at Bella for an answer. She laughed. "I am."

"Why?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I never get to hang out with on Valentine's Day because he's either with my mom or at work. So on the following Saturday, he makes it a day for him and me." she explained. That was cute and completely understandable, considering their relationship, but still…

"You can't do your little thing Sunday?" I asked.

"Forget it, Edward." Jasper said. I turned to him. I didn't want to hear anything from him let along telling me to stop. I couldn't focus on anything coming out of his mouth because he was still hanging her. Why was he still on her? I was really starting to get pissed off about that. "I already tried to convince her to come. She's not budging." He said.

"Why are you guys acting like I've been to every game?" she asked with a laugh.

"Because you were at one game and we'll miss you." Jasper replied. When he did, she gave a smile and I saw her blush. Really; even when he's not even looking at her? He had that much of effect of her? Unbelievable. Sometimes I wonder if he knows what he does to her.

"It's just it's the last game we will play as a team and it will be nice to have everyone there." I said, correcting Jasper in a way. No need for him to say desperate for both of us. She smiled at me

"Since you put it that way, I guess my dad and I can stop by for a quarter or two. But I'm sure you guys will do just fine rather I'm there or not." she said. Then Rosalie gave a small sigh. "What's wrong, Rosie?" Bella asked her friend.

Everyone was looking at Rosalie now. she looked up and at all of us. "What Edward said; I was just thinking how he's right. After Saturday we're done."

"You guys are done. Edward and I still have to finish our track season until the end of the year." Jasper argued. He was right. After the game Saturday, the senior cheerleaders will be passing there pom poms down to the juniors and Emmett didn't do track and field with Jasper and me. He says it's because he said he didn't want to run for no reason. If he was going to run, it would be to catch something or something.

"Still…" Rosalie said. "This could be one of the last time we'll be all together like this."

I sighed hard. "Way to make this sappy, Rosalie." I said. Everyone looked at me. I didn't want to think about that. I've been having a good four years. I don't like thinking about what might happen after we all graduate. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm not ready to think about stuff like that right now." I told them.

"Edward's right." we tuned to Bella. "Let's not think about it." I was surprised she would agree with me. I was expecting Emmett, maybe even Jasper, before her. But I could see why she did. She wasn't like the rest us, who had this, the group, the parties and games, all her four years. Maybe she wanted to keep living in the high school moment she was just getting.

Before anyone else could say something else, the bell rang telling us first period was about to start. We all said bye before Jasper finally removed himself from Bella. He gave her hug and Emmett gave Rosalie a kiss before we went our separate ways. When I saw the hug and kiss between the…"couples" I guess is the right word, it was just then that I noticed Tanya wasn't there. And yet, I didn't have a problem or noticed. If that wasn't a sign…

XXX

When school was over, we had another hard four hour practice. When that was finally over, I was more than ready to go home. I didn't even care about eating dinner. I just wanted to take a shower and go bed and I was still thinking about the shower. The only reason I would take it because I know I wouldn't feel like getting up in the morning to take one.

"I'm home." I called when I walked through the door.

"In the kitchen." My sister called back. Since she didn't say "we", I can only assume she was here by herself. I walked toward the kitchen to see I was right. Surprise, surprise. She looked up from her phone. "Hi. Mom made spaghetti." She said pointing to the pots on the stove.

"I'm not really hungry." I said.

"I think you should probably eat something after a long practice." She replied.

"You sound like mom." I told her.

She laughed. "I should since she left a note telling me I should make sure you eat." She answered.

"Where is she?" I asked as I placed my bags on the floor.

"She had to go to her office for something. she said her assistance said it was important and couldn't be done over the phone. But, she just called. She's on her way back. "

Well, at least we wouldn't be here by ourselves for too much longer. "Well, I'm gonna go to my room."

"You might as well stay down here. She will be home in a little while and she said you had mail but she didn't want you open it until she got home." Alice said before I could turn away from her. I didn't know how long Esme would be, but if she wanted me to wait to open something I got in the mail, it might be important. If it wasn't, she would have just left it on my bed so it would be there when I got there.

I decided to just stay until she came home then I can go to my room. I made my sister and me a plate of spaghetti to eat while we waited.

About thirty minutes later, Esme walked through the door. Alice and I were finishing cleaning the dishes we just used when she walked in. we both turned to her when we heard her heels go from silence to the loud tapping as she walked off the carpet.

"Hi mom." Alice said as she walked over to her and hugged her. "How was everything at the office?" she asked.

"Good. It was a good thing I went down there when I did." Esme answered her.

"What happen?" my sister was always interested in our mom's business. I think she plans on taking over it when she graduates.

"I'll tell you about it later." She turned to me and smiled. "But right now, we're going to talk about Edward. I have something for you, son." She said.

What did she have? And what the hell was she smiling for? "What?" I asked her. she pulled away from Alice then pushed her purse off her shoulder. When it was in her hand, she reached in it and pulled something out. She dropped her purse on the nearest chair before showing me what she received from it. I saw it was an envelope. That must have been the piece of mail I got that she didn't want me to open until she got home. Judging by where it was, I don't think I had much of a choice. But the piece of mail didn't explain why the hell Esme was smiling so much. Then I saw the sender's address. Notre Dame, Indiana. "No way." I exclaimed.

"I wanted to be here when you opened it."

"Where's dad?" I asked.

"He had to work." She answered. Of course he did. "But he told me to call as soon as it was open."

Alice looked at it. "I don't know why you even applied there. We're not even Catholic." She said, the same thing she's been saying since I told my family what I was planning on doing after graduation. For a long time, I didn't even know. She should be happy I had a small clue. Small, because I still had no idea what I wanted to study when I got there.

"I didn't apply there for religious reasons, Alice." I told her.

"Yeah, yeah." She said, rolling her eyes knowing the real reason.

I applied there a few months after Bella started tutoring me so I wasn't surprise it came so late. When I was looking at which school would probably be better for me, University of Notre Dame was number one in football; so naturally, I knew I had to go there. I walked over to my mother and took the envelope from her hand and looked at the send address closer. I couldn't believe it was actually here. But now that it was

"Maybe I shouldn't open this." I said.

Esme's smile slipped. "Why, Edward?" she asked. This was the first time in my life where I wasn't confident. I know what I wanted, but I wasn't sure what I would see when I open it.

"Not knowing might be better than knowing." I said.

Alice sighed hard. "Bro, you have been talking about this since you applied. If you don't, I will." She said grabbing it out of my hand. I grabbed it back. If anyone was going to, I was. I should be the first one to see it. "Just do it." she said.

I looked at it again. Maybe she was right. It might not even be that bad. "Okay." I said. I turned it over and ripped the top open. I pulled out the paper and tossed the ripped envelope on the table before looking back the paper in my hand. Now or never, I told myself as I unfolded it. I read my name, the greeting, then skipped pass the lines thanking me for my interest in the school. Then I got to where I wanted to me. I didn't have to read much before my excitement slowly started fading.

"What's wrong?" Esme asked. I guess my face was showing more than I would like to. When she saw my face, even though she asked, I think she knew the answer already.

I couldn't answer in my own words so I just read verbatim off the page. "'Thank you for your interest in University of Notre Dame. We have reviewed your application as well as your game tapes. You are excellent performer and will be great for the team. However, we are sorry to inform you that your academic performance is not what we are looking for. Therefore, your application has been rejected. Once again, thank you for your interest and good luck.'" When I was done, I placed the paper on the table and leaned against a chair.

"Oh Edward." My mother said as she walked over to me. "I'm sorry." She said hugging me around the shoulder. I don't know if I was too or not. I wasn't sure how to feel. I could say I was disappointed because I was, but I could also say I kinda saw it coming. I know one thing. I hated to admit that my father was right. My good arm did only get so far. "Maybe something else will come." Esme said.

I shook my head. "I only applied there." I told her. I had to be forced to apply to that one. I didn't want to apply to every place because what if they all say the exact same thing.

"So…" Esme and I turned to Alice. "Does that mean you will be here for another year?" she asked.

"Alice." Our mom snapped. She probably didn't think now was the time to ask me something like that. But I don't think I was upset to hear the question because it was a good one. Was I staying home, staying in Forks, Washington, for another year? What happens now?

"I don't know." I answered. "I think I'm going to go to bed." I told them as I shrug out of my mother's hold. Both of them said good night. I mumbled a good night in return before leaving the kitchen and going upstairs.

Friday at school went by so slowly. So slowly, I couldn't focus on what I was looking at in my classes. At lunch, I wasn't very talkative. Alice told everyone I wasn't in the mood to talk and left it at that. of course, Tanya didn't take that and kept talking to me and trying to push things out of me and trying to make me "stop pouting", as she so nicely puts it. That was my girlfriend, so fucking caring. She was making the decision clearer and clearer and easier to make. I just need to make it sooner rather than later.

Then Bella and Alice kept trying to make her leave me alone because I clearly wasn't in the mood to talk, but Tanya didn't listen. She never does. It got to the point where half way through lunch, I couldn't take it anymore so I got up, threw anything I had on my tray away before leaving the cafeteria.

Afterwards at practice wasn't any better. I wasn't into it as much as I should have been. I know I shouldn't have been thinking it, but I just kept thinking what the hell is the point? I knew I wasn't doing well, so I pull myself out and willing put James in in my place, the very first time I ever did something like that. After few plays, I stayed out and watch the team. The coach asked me if I was okay. I just nodded without going too much into it. He said I needed to be focus for Saturday. I just nodded again.

Then after a few plays with James in for me, Coach called it a day. He said whatever we didn't have by now, we probably wasn't going to get. I hope I will be feeling a little better by tomorrow because I will be damned if I worked this fucking hard just to have Second Rate James replace me.

XXX

It was the fourth quarter with a minute-thirty left. We were three points behind, 4th and goal on the thirty yard line. It would be a piece of cake, if it was any other day.

We set up. I don't think I can go through with this play. I stood up and signaled a capital T to my coach on the side line. He gave me a confused looked before calling for the time out. The whistle blew and the teams went back to their respective sides. "What's wrong Cullen?" the Coach asked me as we huddled up when we got to ours.

"I don't think we should do this play." I said to him.

"It's only thirty yards." Someone said.

"Yeah, it's not like we haven't gone longer." Jasper agreed.

"Are you okay Edward?" the Coach asked. That was a good question. The truth was no. No I wasn't. My head wasn't in the game. With the college question and the pressure of the last game, I had a lot going on. I looked at the crowd. I saw my mom in it with her matching scarf, hat and gloves. She was there and that was it. The two people I cared about the most weren't. That didn't help me at all. "Edward!" my coach called me. I turned back and everyone was staring at me. "Want to put James back in?" he asked. James played the second and third quarter after I threw three interceptions causing the other team to get twenty-one of their points. Any other person would let someone else have the shine, but not me. Not because I didn't want it. If it was any other game, sure go ahead and take it. But this was the championship game and I worked too damn hard for someone else. So I shook my head. "So what do you want to do, captain?" he asked.

Another good question. Crap; why did I have to be captain? I wouldn't mind if someone else had to deal with these problems. Everyone was still staring at me. I gave a hard sigh. "We could try to kick it. It will send us into overtime, but then all we would need is one good play and I say it should be a fake out. I can fake throw to the left and hand it off to Jasper. Depending on where the setup is, he can run it easily." I told him. Everyone looked like they might agree.

"I don't think I can kick that far." Our punter said. He was right. The most far he kicked was fifteen yards. Asking him to double might be pushing it a little. Damn it. At this point, I was thinking what the hell was he good for.

"So what should we do?" someone asked.

"I can do it." James spoke up everyone looked at him. Okay, when the hell he get so damn ballsy?

Coach looked at me. "Edward?" he asked.

I gave a sigh. "No. I got. But I think I need Emmett." I said. The coach turned and signaled Emmett. He got up and ran over to me. "Dude, I need you out there with me. We need to get Jasper to the end zone or close enough where if he gets tackled or something he would land either in the end zone or out of bounds. Can you cover me?" I told him the plan I had to make up on the spot since my first one was kinda thrown out the window.

"I got you, man." Emmett said, holding out his hand. I slapped it before I broke the huddle. Well, here goes nothing.

The last play was done and over with.

We walked into the locker room after game. "No heads down, men. You all played a good game." coach said behind us. It was the same thing he always said, but he only said it when we lose. I'm sure no one believes or any to hear him. I think it was something he thinks he has to say. I know I don't want to hear it especially when I'm the reason we didn't win. No one would say it, but I knew was. I wasn't on my game like I should have been.

After the time out, we set up and called it. Emmett did what I needed from him and blocked the guy going for Jasper. When I looked to see if Jasper was where he needed to be, he was, but he was also covered. It didn't look like he could get away. When I looked around, no one else was open or was close enough to the end zone. It was one of the only times where I had no other choice and actually had to run the ball. It just happens to also be the one of only times where I didn't want to run it because I knew I would have caught. With very thought, time was passing. I decided to go for it. And just like I thought, I got tackled all the way out bounds and the buzzer rang. And damn it, we lost. Great job, Cullen. And it was a fucking easy run. I don't know why I couldn't do. Like I said, I wasn't on my game.

Coach gave a hard sigh when he realized no one was listening to him. "Get dress." he told us before leaving. Everyone got dressed in silence. I don't think losing put us in a very talkative mood. I mean, it wasn't like we never lost before. It would be nice if that was the case. It's just we never lost a championship game. For the past two years with me as captain, we made it and won. But we couldn't even win our last one as a team. And that really sucked.

I mean everyone was in silence until we heard coughing. It was small at first so we annoyed it. Then it got louder and louder, to the point where it was hard to ignore. So finally we turned to the source. When we did, we saw James holding his throat like something was in it. Everyone got worried. "James, are you okay?" one of the players asked the question I'm sure everyone was thinking. James didn't answer as he kept coughing. "What happened?" the same guy asked the next question we were thinking.

"I don't know; I just started ch-cho-choking" James choked out. When he did, I knew what he was doing. I rolled my eyes. Jackass. I turned back to my bag to grab my clothes. "Water." I heard him. Then I heard him take a giant gulp. He gave a relieved sigh. "I think I'm okay. Wow, I felt like Edward for a second." He said.

I turned to him. "Are you done?" I asked, wondering how long I needed to deal with this.

"Oh wait, you didn't recover." He said, ignoring my statement and continuing his joke that I'm sure only he thought was funny. I wonder if he was thinking of this the whole walk to the locker room or did he just make it up just now. Even way, he could use some work.

But I didn't feel like dealing with him and giving him the attention he thinks he deserves all of a sudden. I rolled my eyes away from him again. "Fuck off, James." I said as I grabbed my shirt out my bag,

He just laughed. A loud and annoying one. "Hey, don't get mad at me because you couldn't win the game that matters."

"I had one bad game, so sue me." I muttered. We all had our bad games, mine just so happens to be a championship one. I really shouldn't be blamed for that. I had other things on my mind and the last thing I was thinking about was some stupid football game.

"If you would have put me in like I said, we would be championships right now." he said, with a little bit of angry in his voice. Okay, seriously, when the hell did he get so ballsy? It was as if he was saying "I told you so". And I didn't want to hear it, especially not from someone who was literally below me. Okay, I think it was time to put him back in his place.

I turned to him. "Really, because the last two championships we won, I was playing." I reminded him.

"So what happened this game? You finally realized I'm better?" he said. I know he was trying to be tough, but I just gave a loud laugh. That was funny.

"Ha! You better than me? That's hilarious. In case you forgot, you were my second string for three years. And that's because even on my worst days, I can still beat your ass up and down the field." I told him and believing every word. It was funny; I felt like the old me for second. The old Pre-Bella Edward' the one who was awesome and he knew it and knew everyone else knew it too. But let's be completely honest here, it was a reason I was captain and head quarterback while James was just barely second best.

James didn't the truth very well as he glared at me. He stormed over and stood in front of me. "Really, prove it." he said.

"Are you challenging me?" I asked, humored. I felt like when Alice challenge or bets me on something I know I will win at. Its like, why even bother.

"No." he said before giving me a hard push. So hard, I almost hit the wall behind me. I probably would have if I catch my balance in time. Whoa, where the hell did that come from? James doesn't fight back. "I'm warning you." He snapped.

Okay, so he obviously needed a physical lesson. I took a step towards him to hit him until Jasper stepped in front of me. "Back up, James." He warned

James looked at Jasper. "I 'm supposed to listen to you?" he said like it was funnier than listening to me.

"No, you need to listen to us." Emmett said as he stepped next to Jasper.

"Oh right, because Edward needs his bodyguards."

I pushed pass my friends and was in front of James again. "You really want to go there?" I asked, knowing he knew for damn sure I didn't need anyone to protect me from anything. When I said that, James' nose flared. He looked like he was pissed because I reminded him who I was. Just because I lost the game, didn't mean I was going to let this second string player try and act as if he was better than me when everyone in the locker room knows he wasn't. He was back up for a reason and it wasn't because I looked better with the word "captain" on my back.

I noticed his fist were balled up and I waiting for him to throw the punch. I didn't start anything, but if he hits me I will damn sure finish it.

Before I knew if he was going to swing or not, coach stepped between us, pushing us in opposite directions. "Hey, I will not have that. We had a great season and we will not ending it like that. We are a team, damn it, and that's how we will end. Do you two understand me?" he snapped.

"Yeah." I mumbled.

"Whatever." James followed, before grabbing his bag. "At least I know one person who knows I'm better." he said while looking directly at me. He had this look in his eye that just made me say…

"What the hell does that mean?" I snapped.

James gave a smug chuckle. "Nothing." He said before tossing his bag over his shoulder and leaving the locker room.

Coach gave a hard sigh. "Everyone finish getting dressed." He said before leaving again.

I turned back to my friends. "Thanks." I told both. Even though I didn't need it, it's nice to know that they have my back in cases when I do. It was even nice to know Jasper was there even with everything. However, he doesn't know how I feel about Bella.

"Yeah, no problem, but what the hell was that about?" Emmett asked.

"Seriously." Jasper followed.

I shrugged. "James is a jackass." I told them as if it was something we already knew.

"Since when?" Jasper said. He was right. The reason I was so shock that James offered to step in for me or that he actually stepped to me just now because it wasn't something James would do. He would just stand in the background and waited to be called. He didn't step up like that. It wasn't like him. He didn't try to start anything with me because he knew he wouldn't be able to back up what he was saying or finish it, like just now. His place was second when it came to me and he was fine with that. Until now, apparently. Wonder where the confidence suddenly came from.

No matter. "I don't know and I don't care." I told them before taking my jersey and pads off and replacing them with my shirt I was wearing earlier.

"Hey." Emmett said, calling Jasper's and mine attention to him. "Rosalie just texted me. She said the girls still want to have the party tonight." he told us, looking up from his cell phone.

"Why, what are we celebrating?" I asked as I pulled my jeans to my waist and buckled them. We usually party when we win because we're celebrating a victory. We don't when we lose because there's not really a reason to do so.

"She said a great season." Emmett said.

"I'm in, why not?" Jasper said as he looped his belt through the loops.

Emmett turned to him. "Is Bella coming?" he asked. That was funny that he asked him about her.

Jasper chuckled, probably thinking the same thing I was. "Probably not. I texted her and she said she's still with her dad." He answered. I wondered when he did that. was it after the game? And if so, did he tell her we lost? Maybe make her feel guilty for not coming.

"You're still coming?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" Jasper asked as he pulled his shirt over his head.

Emmett laughed. "What, Mr. Self-righteous Jasper is coming to a party without his girlfriend?" Emmett teased. I gave a chuckle at the "self-righteous" comment; know what he was talking about. Ever since Bella started hanging out with us, Jasper was conveniently stopped drinking whenever we're at a party. He said he realized that he didn't need to drink to have fun. But let's be honest, we all knew the real reason. It was because Bella didn't and he wanted to impress her by saying he be like her, though she has said repeatedly that she didn't care if I or her best friend did. I probably would have laughed harder if that's wasn't who Emmett was talking about when he referred to Jasper's "girlfriend".

"I stop drinking and I'm self-righteous? If you didn't notice, I never really drank that much to begin with." He reminded us as he put his socks on. "And shut up. She's not my girlfriend." He told Emmett, which just made him laugh again. Jasper was right, they weren't dating. They just made out on occasion.

"Seriously dude, what is the hold up?" Emmett asked. "The girl clearly likes you."

"Damn, you sound like my fucking sister." Jasper complained.

"I should. It's all she seems to care about."

Jasper gave a sigh. "I wish she would mind her own business, but I know she won't. Besides, I don't even know. I know I like hanging out with Bella. She's a cool person to be around. It's just…" he stopped and looked at me. It was the same look he gave me when everyone asked him the same thing a week or so ago. It was like…wait…was he asking me permission. Permission to do what? To ask her out or to tell them what I told him? Or maybe both? Why the hell did he think he needed my permission? Did he know? Did Alice tell him? I don't think she would do that. She wanted me to figure it all out just as much as I did. I mean I did figure it out. I think I already knew. But I didn't want anyone else to know. It was because I knew it would be selfish of me. I'm trying this new thing where I don't just think about myself. Jasper sighed. "I guess I don't know.

"Well, while you figure that out, you two have fun at the party." I told them as I grabbed my bag.

"You're not coming?" Emmett asked.

I shook my head. Call me crazy, but I didn't really feel like celebrating a lost, especially one that was well my fault. I think I rather go home. "Nah. I'm tired. I think I'm going to give Alice my car and catch a ride home with my mom." I hooked my bag on my shoulder. "Can you make sure my sister gets home safely?" I asked them. They both nodded. "Thanks." I slapped hands with Jasper than with Emmett. "I'll see you guys on Monday." I told them. They said bye to me before I walked out the locker room.

I was walking to my mom's car when I got stopped. I was looking at my phone so I didn't know who it was until I looked up. When I did, Tanya was glaring at me. Yep, just was I needed.

"What the hell was that?" she snapped.

"What?" I asked.

"That game. You got tackled. You never get tackled. You're supposes to be the best. What was wrong with you?" she asked.

"I had a bad day." I told her.

"Well, stop." She said.

"Excuse me? Yeah, Tanya, I can just stop having a bad day." I snapped back. I was tired and didn't need this from her.

"I would be more sympatric if it wasn't for months now. You're been moping around like someone killed your fucking puppy. Where is the awesome and arrogant guy I started dating? That's who I want, not whatever the hell you've become. You need to stop and get back to fucking basics. Next month, we're going to start promoting for prom king and queen and I will not have you with bags under your eyes so you need to get it together." She ranted in snap.

"Tanya, I am going through some things a little more important than prom and I need you to get the hell off my back." I snapped back. We were fighting. When was the last time we fought to this extent?

"More important than prom?! What is more important than prom?" she exclaimed.

"Just things I need to deal with." I told her. I gave a sigh. "I don't feel like doing this right now. Can we talk about it Monday?" I said as I walked around her.

"What? You're not coming to the party?" she asked behind me. I turned to her and shook my head.

"I don't feel like celebrating." I told her.

"But who I'm going to dance and hang with tonight."

I gave a small laugh. "Like you do those things with me when I'm there anyways. You don't need me and I don't want to be there."

"Oh, my gosh. You are so fucking selfish. You don't care about me or what I want!" she answered.

I looked at her. Did she really just say that? "Are you fucking kidding me? Every damn thing I do is to please you. So I don't want to talk about prom or you right this very minute, so that makes me selfish?"

"You're leaving me tonight." She reminded.

"You don't need me there." I told her.

"But what if I want you there? I don't understand Edward, where is all this coming from? Why are you acting like this?"

"I just…" do it. Do it now. Just do it. Like a bandage, just rip off and get it over with. I opened my mouth to do so, but I couldn't get out. I say it. If I did, that wouldn't be it. It wouldn't over with just that. She would want to talk and talk and try to change my mind. I didn't want to go through that. I gave a sigh. "I don't know. Have fun at the party."

"Fine. Leave me alone. Just don't call me when you're lonely tonight." She snapped then stormed away from me.

I turned away and continued walking towards the car. Wow, she was a bitch. Why did I not see it or listen to people all this time? I must have been deaf, dumb, and blind to the fact.

I know why, because she was hot. She was the perfect trophy girlfriend, no matter the way she acts. I saw looks and not personally. I would have notice how great of a person Bella was without her make-over if I did.

welcome to the bottom of the page.

ok, i have a very important message. so if you're one of those people who dont read the AN's i suggest you press the back button and read this one.

are you back...okay.

so, like i said, i am on break. and to add to that, i only have about five chps or so until this story is done. with that being said, i want to have this written, edited, and posted before the end of the year 2013, or at least until i go back to school on the 13th. i am writing at the speed of light. i have nothing to do so i can spend all day and night writing. and with that being said. i think i am going back to updating every other day. YAY! yes, that means the next one will be on Christmas eve, maybe even Christmas if i am not playing with the things i got. i not sure if i will update then, but i do know i will be writing so i can have something done for the 26th. hopefully at the end of the story, all questions and wonders will be answered and put to rest.

okay, i have nothing else to say, but keep R & R-ing, and enjoy the winter months and that i hope this story is keeping you warm inside like it is for me.

oh, one more thing. 200 reviews?! that is insanity. thank you all so much.

Luv & Rockets