Chapter 6
Smashing of the Evil Lords
"See that blonde woman over there?" said Lord Exaggeratron all of a sudden while pointing at Samus. "That's Samus Aran! I read that she wears a robotic suit that gives her tremendous powers, so much that she can literally destroy entire planets in a matter of seconds! Someone like that is not to be messed with! When she puts it on, she is completely unstoppable! She can literally destroy anyone she fights with no issue whatsoever! She is basically a god once she puts it on!"
The Smashers turned to Samus upon hearing this, and Donkey asked her, "Is that true? Is your power suit so powerful that you can do all that he said?"
"As cool as it sounds, I'm not that powerful…" said Samus.
"And there's that kid!" continued Lord Exaggeratron, pointing at Ness. "I read that he has psychic powers! Do you know what that means? It means he is capable of destroying the entire world and killing everyone in the face of the universe by simply thinking and doing nothing! Being a psychic also means he is extremely smart and knows the answer to every possible question in the world! Someone as smart as him can only be nothing but dangerous!"
"Um… As much as I like it when people say I'm strong, I think you're taking things way too far… I'm not that good…" said Ness. "Mewtwo is a better psychic than me, and even he has his limits."
"True," said the psychic Pokemon.
"And that guy with the helmet over there!" said Lord Exaggeratron, pointing at Captain Falcon. "He can unleash devastating punches that are capable of creating explosions large enough to be seen outside the galaxy! There is absolutely no way we can fight against someone like him!"
"I can't do that!" said Captain Falcon.
"And that pink thing has an appetite of a black hole! He's a living and walking black hole!" said Lord Exaggeratron while pointing at Kirby. "He can also copy the powers of anyone and anything he eats! If this doesn't scream absolutely and completely overpowered, even more so than a god, then I don't know what that is!" Kirby responded by giving him a weird stare.
"Seriously! We cannot beat any of these guys! We have to get out of here right now! We are completely overpowered!"
"Bah! All I heard just now are how weak and incompetent these people are!" said Lord Underestimateron. "In fact, they're so weak that I can defeat them with my pinky finger!"
"Screw you and your exaggerated facts!" Scumlord said to Lord Exaggeratron. "You're always making baseless and exaggerated claims that are simply not true! Can't you see that they are giving us strange looks, proving that they're not as powerful as you claim them to be?"
"If you don't have the guts to fight them, then beat it!" Lord A said to the exaggerating Evil Lord. "I have enough of listening to your ridiculous ramblings that don't make sense!"
Enraged, Lord Exaggeratron said, "Why can't you people listen to me for once?! Am I the only sane person here?! I'm trying to keep you people from danger! I know exactly what we must do in order to stay alive! The reason we keep on failing is because we underestimate our enemies! I'm not going to let the same things happen over and over! There is absolutely no way…"
Before he could finish speaking, Lord A punched him across the face hard and knocked him onto the ground, and then Scumlord stomped him over and over with one foot while saying all sorts of insulting things to him. After Scumlord was done doing that, Lord What jumped on top of the unconscious Lord Exaggeratron multiple times while saying "gong, gong, gong" over and over.
"How cruel… Beating up their own comrade like that!" said Zelda in anger.
"With a comrade like that, I would feel like beating him up too…" said Ganondorf.
"Evil Lords! Your days are numbered!" said Incrediblus as he pointed his gun at them. "Put your hands in the air, or else I will be forced to use force on you"!
"Bring it! We're not afraid of you!" Scumlord said to him fearlessly. "We've faced each other several times already, and you always fail to arrest us! It will be no different this time!"
"It will be different this time, for I have found powerful allies!" said Incrediblus. "They are powerful people who may be able to defeat you people!"
"May be able…?" said Falco, sounding offended by what he heard.
"They won't be able to help you arrest us, for I have come up with a brilliant method of bringing you down and other people!" claimed Lord Hasbrain. "Behold this ultimate technique that we learned while trying to take over one of the planets we've been to and be afraid!"
Lord Hasbrain then went to the decagon-shaped table, picked up a red banana, peeled it, removed the flesh, and then threw the peel onto the grass in front of Incrediblus. "Haha! Now I dare you to step on it and feel the pain!" Also, Lord What caught the flesh in his mouth before it touched the grass and ate it.
The Smashers looked at the banana peel on the grass and was at a loss of words at Lord Hasbrain's "ultimate technique." "What is this I don't…" said Ganondorf.
"He even told Incrediblus what to do…" added Luigi.
"You fiend! How dare you use such a vile technique against us?!" said Incrediblus in shock and anger after looking at the banana peel. "You shall pay dearly for your crimes!" He then took a step forward and slipped on the banana peel. "Ow!"
"Seriously… How… What… Why… Gah… I don't want to think about it…" said Bowser after seeing that.
"Hahahaha! It worked! You see? I knew that video was showcasing the ultimate technique! It worked! Hahahahahah!" laughed Lord Hasbrain.
"That doesn't count, because Incrediblus is a huge m****, just like you!" Lord A told him.
"You're just salty that you got proven wrong! I win! I win!" laughed Lord Hasbrain.
While Lord A and Lord Hasbrain were arguing among each other about this, Incrediblus said to the Smashers in a weak voice like he was about to die, "Please take revenge on them for me, my friends… I cannot believe that they would come up with such a terrifying technique… You must be careful… It can kill you…!"
"Um… Thanks for da warning…?" said Mario.
"I wonder why that banana is red," said Donkey. "Maybe it's a space banana… Wonder what it tastes like…"
"Me too," said Diddy, thinking about the same thing.
The two Evil Lords were still arguing with each other when Captain Falcon interrupted them. "Hey, if you guys are serious about this taking over the world stuff, then you better start acting like a team and also more competently. The way I see it, you guys are seriously sloppy at your work and also not bright enough to get things done. No offense…"
"So you think you're better than me?" Lord A angrily said to him. "I hate arrogant people like you! You know what I do to arrogant people? I kill them in the most gruesome way possible and make them wish that they never claimed to be as good as me or better than me! I shall see to it that you die a horrible death!"
"If you have time to ramble about all those, then bring it!" Falco told him. "Prove that you are better than me if you think so!"
"Just you wait! You're going to regret everything you said to me!" Lord A angrily said to him while pointing at him. He then said to the others, "Get out all the weapons in the storage room! We're going to blow up these arrogant b******s!"
"That would be a waste," said Lord Underestimateron. "I alone can take them down in a few seconds, and I will prove it to you!" He then stepped forward and took out his wooden pipe to blow darts at them. However, Captain Falcon caught the dart with two fingers.
"Is that the best you can do?" the racer asked him.
"I can't believe it! He caught the dart!" said Lord Exaggeratron, who was conscious again but still lying on the grass. "He's definitely as powerful as I claim him to be! There's seriously…" Before he could finish, Lord What kicked him in the head to knock him out.
"Do not be so full of yourself just because you managed to catch the first dart, as I will fire more and see to it that you are unable to catch any more than you can!" said Lord Underestimateron. He shot more darts at Captain Falcon, who threw away the one he had to catch the others. In fact, this went on for about a minute. The number of darts next to him started piling up as a result.
"Please… Just stop… You're making yourself look pitiful…" the racer told him in a tone that sounded like he pitied him.
"Yeah! You're making yourself look pitiful!" said Scumlord as he pushed Lord Underestimateron away. "I'll show you how a real scumbag does things!" He then picked up the banana peel Incrediblus slipped on earlier and threw it at the Smashers.
Diddy jumped in front of the peel and caught it in midair, however. "You call this the work of a real scumbag? I've seen bigger scumbags than you, and you don't even act like one!"
"How dare you underestimate me?!" Scumlord angrily said to him. "If that won't convince you, then this will!" He went to one of the chairs around the table and started unscrewing the screws that kept it to the floor.
Everyone watched as he removed all the screws around the chair, which took more than a minute. When he was finally done, he picked up the chair and attempted to lift it over his head, but the chair was somewhat heavy, and he wasn't that strong, so he ended up falling on his back with the chair on top of him, keeping him pinned down. "Ow! I can't get up! Someone get this thing off me!" he cried while struggling.
Everyone stared at him in silence for several seconds, and then Kirby asked, "Was he trying to throw that chair at us, but failed?"
"They're even worse than I thought…" commented Link.
"Bah! You guys are a useless bunch! Let me show you how it's done!" said Lord Hasbrain as he stepped forward. "Time to unleash the weapons I have hidden inside my body!" He pointed his arms at the Smashers, and then his hands became bowl-shaped. "I will now shatter your eardrums using the Super Sound Blaster! This sound wave is so powerful that even diamond will shatter upon being exposed to it! There is no way you can survive something like this, so prepare to die!"
The Smashers got into defensive stance. Lord Hasbrain fired sound waves, but instead of being fired in the direction of the Smashers, it was fired in his own direction. If one looked at the underside of his bowl-shaped hands, they would see that there were speakers there, which explained the direction they were fired in.
Lord Hasbrain then fell back and passed out with his glass dome still in one piece. "Saw this from miles away," said Lord Hindsight.
"That was s*****…" commented Ness.
"I knew something wasn't right when I saw how there was no way hands like that were capable of firing off sound," said R.O.B.
"Grrrr! We're not making ourselves look threatening at all!" said Lord A in anger. "I'm not going to retreat this time! It's time to use Lord of All the Wrongs!"
"There is no need to…" said Lord Underestimateron, but he was interrupted by Lord A, who told him to keep silent.
"Lord of All the Wrongs? What's that?" asked Ness.
"I have no idea," said Incrediblus, who was still down on the grass. "I have never heard of that name before."
The Evil Lords all returned into the flying saucer. The Smashers kept their eyes glued on the UFO, waiting for it to do something. After a few seconds, the flying saucer shook violently. "What's happening to it?!" asked Pikachu.
A pair of thick, metal legs appeared from the bottom of the flying saucer, while the four thinner legs retracted. Two metal arms also appeared from the disk around the flying saucer. After that, the flying saucer struck a pose, and then Lord A's voice was broadcasted from it, "Behold the ultimate form of our flying saucer—Lord of All the Wrongs!"
Most of the Smashers looked at the "transformed" flying saucer with unimpressed faces. "That is the most unimpressive transformation I've ever seen…" commented Ness.
"Yeah, let's just stick a pair of legs and arms onto it and call it an awesome transformation…" said Toon Link sarcastically.
"Cool!" exclaimed Jigglypuff.
"Some people are easy to impress, I guess…" said Ness after seeing Jigglypuff's reaction.
"I can't believe it… All this time, the Evil Lords have this secret weapon up their sleeves…" said Incrediblus with a look of horror. "How can we possibly defeat someone like them…?"
"Punch it down," said Captain Falcon straightforwardly.
"Tear it into pieces," said Ganondorf.
"Blow it into bits," said Falco.
"Burn it," said Bowser.
"That's easier said than done," Incrediblus told them. "I can't believe the terrifying things this thing is capable of! Be careful! We definitely must not take this thing lightly, or else we will be killed!"
"Yes! You will be killed!" said Lord A. Lord of All the Wrongs folded its fingers into guns and then fired energy bullets from the tip of its index fingers at the Smashers, who avoided the shots fast.
"Looks like they're actually putting effort into intimidating us! Let's hope the end result isn't disappointing!" said Falco, sounding hopeful.
Captain Falcon ran towards Lord of All the Wrongs while moving left and right and jumping around to avoid its projectiles. He leaped at the flying saucer with one fist pulled back while charging it up with fire, and then he unleashed his signature move at it. "Falcon Punch!"
His fiery punch connected with the side of the flying saucer, and because of the latter being made from heliumite, it flew back fast and far until it hit the wall. The wall merely cracked from getting hit by it, however.
Inside, the Evil Lords were thrown onto the floor from the "flight." "How did he send our ship flying with a mere punch?! That's non-human!" said Lord A in shock.
"See? I told you that guy is dangerous! We have to get out of here!" Lord Exaggeratron told him.
"Never! I'm not going to escape anymore! I'm going to kill all of them!" said Lord A angrily.
"Finally! Something we can agree on!" said Lord Hasbrain.
Ganondorf charged up a ball of energy in his hand and hurled it at Lord of All the Wrongs. The flying saucer leaped high into the air to avoid it, and while airborne, it pointed its finger guns downwards and fired rapidly, but the Smashers managed to avoid getting shot by running around.
"Haha! Nobody can get us while we are in the air!" said Scumlord with confidence.
Suddenly, the flying saucer was struck in the side by Charizard, who flew into it to ram it with his head hard. Lord of All the Wrongs fell towards Smash Mansion and landed on its rooftop without damaging it heavily. The flying saucer with limbs stood up, and Lord A said, "Don't get so full of yourself! We still have the upper hand! Since we're on top of your house, we're going to destroy it!"
Before Lord of All the Wrongs could do anything, however, it was struck in the back by Brawler, Gunner, and Swordfighter simultaneously and pushed off the mansion.
Lord of All the Wrongs fell onto the grass and bounced forward. It slowly got back up, only to be bombarded nonstop by laser beams, energy balls, fireballs, and bomb arrows fired by Falco, Ganondorf, Charizard, and Toon Link respectively.
"Argh! Enough of this!" Lord A angrily said as he pressed a button that caused a green force field to appear around Lord of All the Wrongs, protecting it from the attacks. While safe from the attacks, the flying saucer leaped over the attacks, thus resulting in the projectiles hitting the wall of the mansion and blowing a hole on it.
"Uh oh…" said Toon Link nervously.
"Hey! What happened here?!" asked Peach in shock as she showed up behind the hole.
Lord of All the Wrongs landed behind the Smashers who were firing at it and fired from its fingers at them, but they got out of the way in time, and the shots hit the grass. "You'll pay for making us ruin our house!" said Falco angrily as fire appeared from his right leg. "Raging Phoenix Kick!" He kicked Lord of All the Wrongs's right leg so hard that it was knocked off the grass.
While the flying saucer was trying to maintain its balance using only one leg, Ganondorf Warlock Punched the other leg to destroy it, and Lord of All the Wrongs fell on its side as a result.
"What?! They destroyed one of the legs?! How is that possible?!" asked Scumlord in shock while trying to stand back up.
"I knew that was going to happen," said Lord Hindsight.
"We have to retreat! They're too much for us to handle!" cried Lord Exaggeratron.
"No! I'm not going to let my pride get tarnished here!" insisted Lord A angrily while trying to get the flying saucer to stand back up.
"Then let me deal with them!" said Lord Hasbrain as he shoved Lord A aside to take hold of the control panel. "I'll get this thing to destroy them in no time!"
He managed to get Lord of All the Wrongs to stand back up, and then the flying saucer raised his arms into the air and began spinning, a feat made possible due to its ball joint knee. It almost looked as if it was performing ballet.
The Smashers watched with caution, waiting for Lord of All the Wrongs to do something, but it never did anything other than spinning around. "What's it doing? Dancing?" asked Bowser.
"Argh! You're going to make us all throw up!" Lord A angrily said to Scumlord before pushing him aside to regain control of the flying saucer. He made Lord of All the Wrongs stop spinning, but he was having a hard time trying to make it do something due to the spinning making him dizzy. "Ugh… See what you've done…"
"Is it just me, or was the whole place spinning just now?" asked Lord Oblivion while looking around in confusion.
After Lord A was able to recover from his dizziness, he pressed a button that changed both Lord of All the Wrongs's hands into cannons that attacked with fire. The Smashers moved away from the dual flamethrowers and watched in horror as their yard started to catch fire.
"Oh no! We have to put out da fire before it burns up da whole place!" cried Mario.
"Get Greninja! We need him NOW!" shouted Captain Falcon desperately.
"Hahaha! Now they're afraid! We're finally making progress!" said Lord A happily. "Let's burn them all down and then this whole city! Hahahahaha!"
"Yeah! Burn them all to crisp!" said Scumlord in delight.
Lord of All the Wrongs stood in place using its single leg and spun its body around slowly while continuously shooting fire. The fire ran out all of a sudden, however. "What the?! Out of ammo already?!" asked Lord A in shock.
"Predictable," said Lord Hindsight.
The Smashers were glad that Lord of All the Wrongs stopped its flamethrower attack, but they were still panicking because of the fire that was slowly spreading across the yard. Their fear was eased, however, when Greninja was seen jumping off a balcony on the second floor of the mansion and rushed towards the fire. He jumped into the air and took a deep breath before shooting out a large blast of water that managed to put out the fire quite fast.
"All right! You did it!" exclaimed Kirby.
"Argh! They managed to put out the fire!" said Lord A angrily.
"It matters not! We still have weapons up our sleeves for taking them down!" said Lord Hasbrain.
Outside, the Smashers decided that it's about time to put down the Evil Lords for good. "No more playing games!" Captain Falcon said to Lord of All the Wrongs. "You tried to burn down our house, so we're going to tear down your ride!" He then jumped at the flying sauce and kneed it in the front hard, so hard that a barely visible shockwave was created and sent the whole thing flying back at a fast speed.
It flew in the direction of the mansion, and Brawler, Gunner, and Swordfighter were standing in front of the latter, ready to defend it. When Lord of All the Wrongs was about to hit them, all three of them performed a jumping attack to hit it from below. Brawler performed a jumping uppercut, Gunner released a burst of fire underneath herself using her arm cannon to launch herself upwards while performing an uppercut, and Swordfighter jumped while slashing upwards. Their combined attacks sent Lord of All the Wrongs flying high into the air.
While the flying saucer was airborne, Charizard flew at it and caught it by its remaining leg. He then flew in vertical circles several times with Lord of All the Wrongs in his grasp before flying straight down to slam the flying saucer against the grass hard. By doing this, he was able to tear off the remaining leg.
Inside, the Evil Lords were once again down on the floor from the spinning. "What… What is this power they have…?" asked Lord Hasbrain. "I have never encountered people like them before…"
"This is nothing at all. We are still far more superior to them!" said Lord Underestimateron while rubbing his head.
"I told you! They're too much for us to deal with! We should retreat now!" said Lord Exaggeratron.
"Wowk," said Lord What with a smile while on his back.
With its legs gone, the flying saucer was forced to hover in the air. Before it could do anything else, Captain Falcon, Ganondorf, Falco, Brawler, and Swordfighter jumped at it simultaneously, all of them aiming to attack the top part of it.
Captain Falcon attacked with a fiery dive kick. "Falcon Kick!"
Ganondorf also performed a dive kick, but his leg was covered in dark energy instead. "Wizard's Foot!"
Falco covered himself in fire before diving at the flying saucer. "Fire Bird!"
Brawler performed an axe kick. "Soaring Axe Kick!"
Swordfighter dropped down with his sword pointing downwards. "Stone Scabbard!"
All their attacks struck the flying saucer at the same time, instantly pushing it onto the grass.
SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!
TO BE CONTINUED
Lord Exaggeratron's comments on how powerful a few of the Smashers are come from exaggerations I found on the internet people sometimes make when it comes to power level discussions. When it comes to SSB, people have the tendency of claiming Samus, Ness, Snake, and maybe a few others to be more powerful than they should be.