Well… as the saying goes, there are two sides to every story.
First of all…
It's important to understand that Peter never meant to hurt Carla.
He hadn't planned any of this.
He hadn't meant for her to fall in so deep.
He didn't think that she could have been so foolish to let herself get so caught up.
His return to Weatherfield had truly been just to visit his Dad.
He was on his way over to Number one when he had first seen Carla.
She was walking towards her building in a leather jacket and black dress and looked so incredible that he couldn't help but follow her.
He had reached out to tap her on the shoulder, just to say hello when the next thing he knew, they were kissing.
She had initiated it.
She had been the one who had practically thrown herself at him and whilst he knew she must have mistaken him for someone else, he let her kiss him passionately.
He let her kiss him and by the way that she kissed him, he knew that she had suddenly realised who he was.
Something had changed in the kiss, it was like it had intensified because she knew it was wrong.
Peter knew he shouldn't have been kissing Carla.
He had a girlfriend who was lovely and who didn't deserve to be treated this way but then again this… Well this was Carla.
His Carla.
She had her hand around his neck and her tongue in his mouth and there was no way he was going to stop it.
This kiss had reignited something inside of them both.
It was as if a spark went off inside them and made them both realise just how much they had missed each other.
This kiss reminded Peter how much he still loved Carla although upon thinking about it, he had never really forgotten... it was more like he had pushed it to the back of his mind.
She stopped it.
She stopped the kiss.
She pulled away from him and looked utterly stunned to see Peter stood before her.
Of course you know how the rest of it went…
They talked... they talked a lot a first.
She took great delight in telling him all about her new boyfriend Nick Tilsley and he took great delight in winding her up about it as much as he could.
He knew the power he had over her and suddenly this visit to his Dad's didn't seem so important any more.
More words...
More lingering and longing looks came before they were kissing roughly again.
They rushed up to Carla's flat in no time and Peter took complete pleasure in making her say and do things that he knew she shouldn't.
He made her say that she loved him.
He said he just wanted to hear it... only for one night.
The collapsed onto the bed together, time after time and as Carla fell asleep next to him Peter wondered about letting himself stay too.
He thought about curling up next to her and pretending as if this was like the good old days.
Peter sighed as he knew that too much had happened between them for him to be that naïve.
He also knew that Carla had been very clear that she had wanted what happened between them to be for only for one night, so he got up and wrote that note that he had left on her kitchen counter.
The note that told her that one day he might be back.
He hadn't actually been serious with it.
He hadn't actually thought about coming back to see Carla, he knew it wasn't fair on her and he knew that he had Jessica to think about, so at that point, as far as Peter was concerned he wasn't going back to Carla's.
He wasn't going back until he heard the news.
Until that Friday when he had eventually got to his Dad's and heard the words,
"Peter… I'm ill."
At first Peter thought his Dad was talking about a cold or something.
That this was something he'd get over quickly but when he saw the look on his Dad's face, Peter knew this was more than that.
"I was feeling rather rough for a few days and then... well then noticed a lump…" Ken began.
That was it.
That was all he had to say to make Peter petrified.
Ken went on all the same.
He explained that he had noticed swelling in certain parts of the body and that he had been to the doctors in the week.
He explained that the Doctor had given him an examination and that he had to go to the hospital for some further tests on Monday.
Peter took all this information in as his sister Tracy entered the house.
She was stunned to see her brother sat at their dinning table and could instantly tell that something was wrong by the look on his face.
Ken started to explain everything again but at the end, he said that he really wasn't worried.
He said he was sure that the tests would go fine and that they would all be laughing about this soon.
He couldn't have been more wrong to be honest...
Monday came and Peter had insisted on going to the hospital with his Dad, who hadn't told anyone other than him and Tracy about what he had found.
Ken didn't want to worry the rest of his family and friends and if he was ill, he didn't want their pity, so Tracy and Peter agreed to keep it between them three.
As Amy and Simon came over that night, Peter and Tracy tried their very best to act like normal.
They tried to ignore the fact that their Dad might be seriously ill but it was beginning to become increasingly difficult for Peter to do so.
Even though his relationship with his Dad had sometimes been turbulent, Ken meant the world to Peter.
He depended on him a lot and He couldn't bare the thought of not having his Dad around.
The evening soon turned into night and Peter had gone out for a cigarette to calm himself down, when he saw that the factory lights were on.
From that moment on all he could think about was Carla.
He wondered if she was in there right now, he wondered what she was doing and how she had been since the last time he had seen her.
Peter soon found that his legs were carrying him towards Underworld of their own accord.
He didn't need a cigarette to calm him.
She could do it.
She could calm him down just with one look.
As he walked up the step to the factory, Peter took in a deep breath and made sure that he composed himself properly before walking in.
After all, he didn't want Carla to see the state he was in… if she was even in there that is, which of course we all know that she was.
She tried to resist him at first.
She tried to pretend as if she didn't want it but Peter saw through her little act and soon enough they were having sex on her office desk.
It was something that they had done plenty of times before but to Peter, this intimacy with Carla was something really special.
It made him feel at ease.
It made him begin to feel like he would maybe be able to get through all of this stuff with his Dad if he at least had Carla as a distraction.
Afterwards and on the steps which were inside the factory they had a smoke together, a conversation and then a moment.
A moment that made Peter worried that Carla would get too close, that she'd begin to ask him questions that he really couldn't answer.
He couldn't explain to her about the things that he had been through tonight because his Dad had made him promise not to.
So then Peter decided that maybe he needed to push Carla away.
He didn't want to but he knew all it would take was a few looks, a few words and then he'd been spilling it all out and anyways, no one knew if Ken was actually serious ill or not yet.
Peter started winding Carla up again, teasing her about Nick and just how many times she had cheated on him, which led to Carla saying,
"D'ya know what Peter… just go will ya… You got what you wanted didn't you? What are you still doing ere?"
He could tell that he had upset Carla, he could tell by the look on her voice and the tone in her voice.
He went to walk away from her but as she sat down on the stairs looking totally ashamed of herself, Peter couldn't help but turn around and walk towards Carla again.
He sat with her and they spoke again.
They spoke and had another moment before they kissed again.
Their kiss obviously turned into something more and even thought it was incredibly difficult for Peter to leave Carla at the factory, he did it anyway.
He knew his Dad would be wondering what had happened to him and that he would be not too pleased to find out that he had been indulging in the pleasures of Carla's company.
Friday soon came and so did Ken's next hospital appointment.
The tests the Doctor's had done the other day had come back and they wanted to discuss them with Ken and his family.
Peter and Tracy made sure that they accompanied Ken of course and the Doctors told Ken that he now needed to have a CT scan.
Ken nodded along to all of this of course, having done previous research and expecting something like this to happen.
He calmly went for his scan and left Peter and Tracy in the waiting room where they both sat next to each other in silence.
It was a silence that Peter spent with his arm around Tracy and one where his gentle back rub tried it's best to assure her that everything would be all right.
Ken was told that his results would be back in a week or so but that it may take longer.
Peter and Tracy sighed upon hearing this news knowing that it would be a horrible waiting game, a waiting game that was made better for Peter by a certain woman he had been missing since he had left her at the factory last week.
He didn't go and see her that night though, he knew he had to stay with his Dad and as always he made sure he wasn't seen because if people knew he was back it would start to raise suspicion.
He saw her the next night, she was dressed immaculately and was ready to go for a night out with Michelle when he had arrived.
She asked him where he had been and he replied with,
"Busy."
That was all he could say… busy.
He hoped she would just take that for answer and let him in and luckily she did.
This was the night that Carla and Peter's stolen nights became a habit of theirs but not before Carla had decided to make some rules.
Rules that had actually made Peter feel really relived.
No talking about personal lives.
No "Sleeping" together.
No talking about Love.
No telling anyone.
Those were the rules that made Peter actually believe that he and Carla could carry on with their affair and not get "romantically" involved.
Of course it didn't take long for these rules to be broken and for lines to be crossed.
Carla would often try to slip in a small comment and Peter's life.
Whether it be about his Dad or how his day had been, she had always done it very slyly and depending on Peter's mood he sometimes would let just a tiny bit of information free but it was nothing that Carla actually found useful… nothing that she would be able to properly find out about his life.
She wasn't the only one who broke the rules though.
Peter often found himself drifting off to sleep underneath Carla, who would always wake him up shortly afterwards and insist that he went home.
He hated going home from hers with a passion and each time he left her building, he wished he had the courage to be honest with her and tell her how much he wanted her back.
Being in Carla's presence was like an addiction for Peter and… well we all know what Peter Barlow is like with addiction.
He craved her pretty much every moment of every day and what he didn't know was that this was soon becoming the way that she felt about him.
Peter was sure that if he told Carla how much he had become taken with her again, if he told her how much he deeply loved her and how much he was desperate for another chance to be hers again, that she'd just brush him off and say that it was too late.
He didn't know that she was thinking about him too, every moment she was alone and even those where she wasn't.
He was sure that their secret relationship was the best that he was going to get.
She was with Nick Tilsley after all and Peter was sure that there was no way that she'd dump a man like Nick for him, so he made his peace with their secret sessions and stolen moments.
As Ken went for more tests, Peter went along to each one.
He would sit at the hospital and make sure that he was there for his Dad and then on his way home he'd make a stop around Carla's for his fix.
Weeks turned into months and then Ken had to go into hospital to have biopsy done on one of the lumps, so that the doctors could use it to find out more.
Peter was extremely worried about his Dad, now more than ever, especially because he knew that a biopsy meant that what his Dad had was very very serious and that what his Dad had could be cancer.
Worrying about all of this and keeping it all to himself made Peter's mind go to some dark places, he desperately craved a drink as well as Carla now and having no one to talk to about it made him feel lonely than ever.
It made him want to run to the off licence and purchase the nearest bottle of alcohol but instead he found himself confiding in Jessica.
Her Dad had been diagnosed with cancer a few years back and he had survived, So Peter though that talking to her would help the situation, especially as she didn't know anyone on the street and that it wouldn't get back to anyone.
Even though he was sleeping with and ridiculously in love with someone else, Peter still really cared about Jessica and felt as if he could lean on her a little during this situation.
She wasn't able to make him feel better about it obviously but talking to someone other than Tracy about things gave Peter a little bit of release.
Most of his release came from Carla though and after his Dad's biopsy, Peter visits to Carla became very very often… almost every other day in fact.
It was probably when they started text messaging each other again when things really started to change between the two.
The personal life rule sort of flew right out of the window because these mini conversations allowed them to reveal little snippets of information without being face to face.
Peter would make sure each and every text message that he sent Carla was one he had read over a few times and always made sure it was perfect before pressing send.
He would then always find himself then being totally distracted from what he was doing and just waiting for Carla's reply.
Now, the fact that Carla and Peter could now flirt and tease each other without even being in the same room, meant that their desires were heightened and obviously a lot their messages were on the sexual side of things. Obviously the texts were full of a lot of things that wanted to do to each other but there was the odd time that they had a proper little conversation.
The odd time they would forget that they had this heart wrenching past and these messages that were being exchanged, meant a lot more to Peter than Carla could ever know.
She was still utterly clueless to the fact that his Dad was ill and that these little sentences kept him from completely losing control.
Carla's messages were a huge distraction from his Dad's illness and each time he got one he revelled at the idea of Carla taking time out of her day to message him and see what he was up to… even if it was just because she wanted him for selfish reasons, it meant that she was thinking of him.
One night, a day or so before their last time, at around three am, Peter had received a message, which said,
"Are you awake?"
He was awake and he wasn't surprised to see that Carla was too.
Even though it was a Tuesday she was the type of person who stayed up very late, she'd be watching TV or working because she was the type of person who found it very hard to get to sleep.
Peter smiled at his screen and text Carla back straight away,
"Yes, I am…What cha doing up this late?"
"Watching me box sets… and anyways, I could say the same about you to be honest."
Peter smirked and even though this constituted a conversation about their personal lives he wrote,
"That's true, I can't sleep so I'm in me living room watching Takeshi's Castle."
Peter couldn't help but chuckle to him self as he sent send and he knew that Carla would be rolling her eyes at the fact he was up watching his favourite Japanese game show.
"Oh god Peter really? I would ave thought you had grown out of that ridiculousness by now."
Peter nodded at Carla's reply and had called her not being impressed with his TV show of choice.
"Ha ha… You know me, I'm just a big kid at heart, besides I need the distraction and this show always reminds me of Simon, he used to love it."
"Yeah he did. I remember I'd come home to you two howling at the television because some idiot dressed in what looked like pyjama's had got knocked of that bridge thing… what d'ya need the distraction for?"
There was Carla asking Peter an outright question about his life again, asking him why he wanted a distraction and once again, even though he really wanted to, he couldn't tell Carla.
His Dad had still managed to kept everything quiet for now and he really didn't want people knowing anything was wrong until they had to, so Peter only replied with,
"Ahhh you can't deny bridge ball is a classic game… I remember I even saw you snicker at it once."
Peter wrote, remembering the rare times that Simon would happily allow Carla to sit with them and when one night she had let them both watch the show in question.
"Hmmmm I don't recall such an event… but hey what ever makes you happy I spose, also I see you dodging my question Peter… fair enough but I'm just wondering how bad things ave got for you to be up watching that trash :P "
"Oh and what are you watching eh? Bet it's something real sophisticated."
Peter replied, wondering just what Carla was watching and wondering if she ever did finish that LOST box set without him.
"Actually since you ask, I've just finished Season two of Scandal if you must know."
Peter frowned at the words on his phone and then typed out his reply before hitting send. He didn't even think about what he was writing to Carla anymore, the conversation just flowed freely.
"Scandal? Never heard of it."
"Course ya avent because you my friend are a bit of a Granddad when it comes to stuff like TV aren't ya?"
"Ha ha very funny… What's this scandal about then? I might like it?"
"Ahhh I doubt it, I mean it's all American politics n stuff, there are no guys in it flying into walls n launching their selves into the air by a pole I'm afraid."
"Eh, Takeshi's Castle is one of my guilty pleasures thank you very much… y'know something that ya like even if it is a bit naff... I bet you've got loads of em.
Peter replied, getting up and putting on his kettle so he could make himself a cup of tea.
Tomorrow was Friday and the day that Ken's biopsy results would finally come through.
It was a day that filled Peter with dread and talking to Carla once again was a real distraction so he decided that he would do everything in his power to talk to her as long as possible.
Her reply came quickly and made Peter feel his heart actually flutter,
"Oh you don't have to tell me about guilty pleasures Barlow… My biggest one is you."
Peter swallowed hard at Carla's response but tried to reply as casually as he could,
"Eh are you calling me naff? I'm offended to be quite honest with ya Carla."
"Hey… don't be like that, Oh god I really didn't want ya to take it that way at all."
Carla's reply came fast, in under a minute in fact and as Peter began to make himself a brew, he wrote.
"I'm kidding woman, relax. So are you starting season three of this Scandal now are ya?"
"Nah I'll leave it there for tonight, might channel hop for a bit, see if there is anything decent on."
"Well there is another episode of Takeshi's Castle on it a bit… go on put it on, I dare ya, we can watch it together."
Peter had expected Carla to turn down this idea straight away but strangely enough she didn't and she replied with,
"Okay."
They stayed up together until four am watching the famous Japanese TV show together and texting each other at the same time.
Peter doesn't remember falling asleep but he awoke to two unanswered messages on his phone.
The first one was about something that had just happened on the TV and when he hadn't answered, Carla had sent,
"So since ya aven't replied to my last message, I'm assuming you've fallen asleep on your sofa, I hope so, I mean as fun as tonight has been I'm glad you're getting some sleep.
Night x"
It was only three short sentences but Carla's last message had really warmed Peter's heart and had put him in a good mood.
Unfortunately for Peter, his good mood only lasted for an hour or so.
Ken's hospital appointment was at nine forty five am.
He was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin lymphoma.
A uncommon type of Cancer, which the doctors had told Ken he had actually been suffering from it for quite a while now and that he just hadn't noticed it yet.
Ken nodded as he was told news that he had really been expecting.
Tracy burst into tears whilst Peter just stared ahead for a while.
His Dad had cancer.
No… he couldn't have.
This was his Dad, even after everything that they had been through together, Ken was almost like Peter's rock.
The Doctor's gave Peter and Tracy to fully take in the news and then when they were ready began to describe Ken's condition.
He said that Ken didn't have an aggressive type of the illness and that he would soon be starting some chemotherapy and radiotherapy to treat it.
He explained it all and that night, after Ken had insisted that Peter needed to go home and that he didn't want him to spend the evening worrying, Peter texted Carla.
Casually and in a away that he had done many a time before,
"Where are you right now gorgeous?"
She replied very quickly with,
"At home… why?"
Peter took a sigh of relief when he read that Carla was home and before he could even process what he was doing, he had already written out his reply and had pressed send,
"And you're staying at home? Right?"
For once he didn't care what Carla was doing, if she was going out he'd follow her, he had to see her, he had to be with her tonight.
Thankfully Carla replied with,
"Well I guess that depends on you doesn't it?"
Peter tried to be jokey with it, he tried to be all casual as he sent,
"Does it now?"
It seemed Carla wasn't too impressed with his reply and responded with something that had Peter almost run towards her flat.
"You know it does… don't play games with me tonight Peter, I avent the patience for it. Just tell me if you're planning on coming tonight… cause I will be… with or without your help xx"
Peter smiled for the first time that day since waking up to Carla's message this morning and wrote his reply, before having a quick cigarette.
"Ha ha I see what you did there… I'll be at your place soon… very soon. xx"
After his cigarette he turned up at Carla's and well you know the rest.
Crazily enough it was when they were in the middle of sex that he remembered about his trip to China for work on Monday.
He remembered how earlier his Dad had mentioned it and insisted that he should still go.
At first Peter wasn't having any of it but Ken insisted that he should not let his illness affect his job and that he would disapprove very much if he didn't go.
Peter didn't want to upset Ken anymore, which is why he was still going, Although a week without Carla was something that was beginning to scare the shit out of him and he wanted to make sure she knew he'd be back soon, which is why as they lay together on her sofa he said,
"I meant what I said earlier… I won't stop… Even if you don't see me for days… Weeks even… I won't stop coming back for you."
"Good." Said Carla grazing her bottom lip with her teeth as she looked down at his chest.
The beautiful sound of Carla's reply had made Peter feel a little more at ease but of course he hadn't quite expected what happened next to have happened.
First he had broken up with Jessica in China.
He had been trying to think of ways to do it for a long time and when she approached him and asked him if there was someone else he couldn't lie to her no more.
In a strange way, it was probably the best break up that Peter had ever had and it meant that he was free to try and properly win Carla back.
Only he didn't know what was going on back home.
That whilst he was in China he had left a very frustrated Carla behind, which led her to start looking for information and eventually speaking to his Dad.
He found out during a casual conversation at Number One, one where Ken said,
"Oh… by the way. I spoke to Carla last week, she came up to me in the pub… she was the one who mentioned you actually and anyway I regretfully ended up telling her about Beijing… and Jessica."
"Wait… she came up to you?" Peter replied, strangely in Ken's eyes. He thought Peter would be more concerned about the Jessica part.
"Yes… she asked me if I'd heard from you… she was very interested actually… especially when I mentioned China and Jessica of course."
"Oh… right." Peter said, trying to make sure he kept his cool.
Trying to make sure he didn't show his anger to his Dad.
"Is everything okay Peter?" Ken asked, looking worried now. "Have I done something wrong?"
"No!" Peter insisted, "Of course not." he said hating that his Dad was concerned about him at a time like this.
Now Peter wasn't actually sure why he had become so angry, maybe it was because he knew Carla wouldn't be pleased to find out that he had a girlfriend.
Maybe it was because they had rules in place to stop this kind of thing from happening or maybe it was because he Dad had been saying how proud he was off him and the last thing he wanted was for his Dad to find out that he had been having yet another affair… even if it was with Carla.
Peter let his emotions truly take over him and reacted in a way that he wished he hadn't.
He stormed around Carla's flat the moment he got the chance and there they had that rather explosive exchange.
One that ended with the pair of them saying a whole lot of stuff that they didn't really mean and them not saying stuff that they really should have said instead.
That was the last time they had seen each other.
That was the last time they had spoken to each other.
That was the last time he had heard her voice… until today.
Until her voicemail message, which ended with,
"I know you're going through some stuff... stuff you won't tell me about and I really really want to help you.
I accept that you might not want to talk but... Peter...
I'm ere… I'm ere and I'm not going anywhere so if you need me… Just… let me know.
Bye."
It was a message that he really wanted to reply to but not just yet because he was sat with his Dad at the hospital as his Dad was preparing to begin with his first session of Chemotherapy.
Tracy hadn't come because she said she just couldn't face it.
His Dad was being incredibly brave through all of this and Peter knew he had to be as equally as strong.
As Ken was hooked up to the machine in front of him, Peter tried his best not to let how scared he was show.
He figured if he was this scared then his Dad must be a million times more.
Peter sat there with his very best "I'm okay." look plastered on his face and as Ken tried to make some sort of mundane conversation, Peter tried very hard to join in with it.
He tried to smile when his Dad cracked a joke and he tried to nod a long with what else he was saying but it was clear that Peter was starting to slowly lose control, which is why Ken sighed heavily and said,
"So, what are your plans after this Peter?"
"I dunno… I'll probably just come back to yours." Peter shrugged looking down at the drip that was running from Ken's arm and into a small machine, which was next to him.
"Do you know what I think that you should do?" Ken asked, watching his son closely.
"No." Peter looked up at him and shook his head.
"I think that you should go and see Carla." Ken said, almost knocking Peter right off the chair that he was sat on.
"Carla…" he began but his Dad shook his head and said a resounding,
"Peter… I know."