Sorry it's been so long with this one... I hope you're all still interested.
When Carla made the decision to go back to the Rover's Return that Tuesday, she thought that she'd just be having a quiet drink. That she'd maybe cheer up a little after being in Michelle's company and that she would go home feeling a lot better than she did when she woke up.
The last thing she had been expecting was for Nick to burst in, rush over to her get down on one knee and say,
"I know that you said that you've hurt me but I really don't care. I don't care what you've done I love you so much and I know that deep down you love me too… what ever has happened we can work together to get our relationship back on track…"
"Nick Tilsey get up off the floor right now." Carla said, in a hushed tone so she didn't draw to much attention to herself… then again everyone in the pub had their eyes on them anyway, Her employees looked amused whilst her best friend had her hand over her mouth.
Carla had always hated public displays of affection like this, especially public proposals and she desperately needed Nick to not ask the question that she thought he was about to ask.
Frank had done it like this.
In front of everyone… in that very same room in fact and Carla couldn't stand it… at all.
She was staring at Nick in such shock that she didn't see that Peter Barlow had walked into the pub and that he was watching.
Everything.
In horror.
"Carla Connor… will you marry me?"
Carla closed her eyes and shook her head as the words came out of Nick's mouth and before she could even answer him, she heard a very familiar voice say,
"Oh you ave got to be kidding me." Carla eyes shot open as she finally realised that Peter was stood there.
He was near the door of the pub and in Carla's eyes, looking as dashing as ever.
When Nick turned around to see where the familiar voice had come from, Carla quickly shot Michelle a look.
"Oh my god." Michelle mouthed whilst Nick frowned. He stood up awkwardly, his head slightly titled as he said,
"What are you doing here?" He looked totally stunned to see Peter, then again so did everyone else in the pub.
Carla's employees looked even more amused than they had done before and everyone else who knew who Peter was looked stunned.
Even though this kind of public humiliation wasn't the kind of thing that Carla enjoyed, she couldn't move.
She was rooted to the spot and she physically couldn't take her eyes off Peter or Nick.
She looked between them both and suddenly felt short of breath.
Nick was stood in his favourite grey suit with a white shirt and black tie whilst Peter was wearing a contrasting leather jacket and jeans.
Nick was clean shaven whilst Peter was heavily bearded and it was clear to all, that they couldn't be more different then each other.
Carla didn't want to look to much at Peter so she only watched him for a second before quickly looking away.
She thought if she looked at him for too long and if he looked at her, that everything that they had been doing would be totally obvious.
That Nick would be able to suss out everything in an instant.
She didn't even know what Peter was doing there any way.
There he was, after months of keeping a low profile and not letting himself be seen, he was now stood in the busiest place on the street and not caring that everyone knew he was back.
She'd guessed that he must have listened to her message, the one she had left him earlier on saying that she loved him.
She then hoped that he wasn't taking this proposal from Nick the wrong way, she hoped he wasn't thinking that she had anything to do with it and as she took a slight step away from Nick, Peter stepped forward.
"Did you hear me?" Nick said, stepping forward as well, now directly in front of Peter. "Peter what are you doing here?"
"Oh... I'm sorry..." Peter dryly replied, "Am I not allowed to step foot in a pub now? I mean I know I'm an alcoholic n everything but I can control myself."
Carla shook her head because a Peter and Nick stand off was clearly about to happen if she didn't do something.
"I'm ere… to speak to Carla." Peter said, not showing an ounce of how nervous he was show as he stared Nick down.
It wasn't actually Nick that he was nervous about... it was Carla of course.
He was already unable to stand being in the room with her without touching her.
"Carla…?" Nick stammered, spinning around on the spot and staring at her. She wasn't looking back at him though, she was staring at Peter who's gaze finally met hers properly.
They shared a moment of silent and sublime eye contact before being interrupted.
"Carla!" Nick said louder, causing her to focus her eyes on him instead.
"Nick…" She began, not knowing where to start and hating how almost everyone in the pub was transfixed by the ridiculously awkward confrontation that was taking place before them.
Knowing what to do next made Carla completely confused.
She desperately wanted to tend to Peter first, to finally talk to him again after seven long days of being without him but she also knew that it wouldn't be fair to leave Nick hanging.
"Nick… Maybe… we should go and talk about this somewhere else eh?" She said softly, looking at Nick and trying her best not to look at Peter, who was stood rather impatiently behind Nick.
"It's either a yes or no Carla…" Nick said plainly.
"Nick please." Carla begged,
"Just say it… Will you marry me… yes or no?" Nick said, although it seemed like deep down he knew what Carla's answer was going to be. She shook her head at him and looked down before saying a very quiet,
"No Nick... I can't marry you… I'm sorry."
She was sorry.
Sorry that she ever treated him this way because he really really didn't deserve it.
"Carla…" Nick began, sounding as if he was going to start trying his best to change her mind.
"I really am sorry Nick… but you're definitely not going to change my mind about this." Carla said delicately. Peter tutted and then sighed as he stood behind Nick. He then impatiently shook his head before letting out a rather abrupt,
"Are you done ere Nick?"
"Peter don't start." Carla said, shaking her head at him as he moved towards them both.
"I really... really need to speak to you." He said, ignoring the outraged look on Nick's face as he approached Carla.
"Oh... so now you wanna talk?" Carla replied with her head on one side. She was trying to act slightly angry with Peter because she didn't want Nick to catch on.
To find out about Peter in front of everyone would humiliate him and she really didn't want that.
"Oh…" Nick breathed, sensing the obvious attraction between the pair and thinking the worst. "Please... don't tell me he's the reason that you ended it with me… please."
She thought about lying but only for a moment... because she thought that she had already hurt Nick enough.
"I wish I could Nick… I really really do." Carla began, "Can we please just go and talk about this somewhere?"
"No… we can't!" Nick cried, Peter rolled his eyes and tried to walk around him.
Carla had hoped that Nick was going to leave things be with Peter but of course, their past was way too complicated for that.
Nick shook his head and gave Peter a rough shove so that he couldn't get past.
"You really don't want to start with me Tilsey…" Peter sighed shaking his head at Nick, partly as a warning and partly in pity.
He understood why Nick would be angry.
Why he had shoved him and why he was staring at him furiously but he didn't care.
He couldn't have Carla not know about his Dad for a moment longer.
He wanted to explain the way he had acted, the way he had treated her and why he had kept it a secret.
"Oh I think I do…" Nick said, deciding that right now he had nothing to do. Peter tried to walk past again but when Nick shoved him hard again he decided that enough was enough.
"Give it up!" Peter shouted, shoving Nick back. "It's over... deal with it." Nick lunged forward towards Peter, he swung his fist and hit him square on the chin.
Peter flew backwards and hit his head on the bar causing everyone in the pub to gasp.
"Nick!" Carla screamed, she pulled Peter to his feet, even though he didn't need it.
He took a deep breath and then he dived towards Nick, he was just about to raise his own fist but Carla stepped in.
She stepped right into the middle of Peter and Nick and cried,
"Oi… the both of you can stop this right now!" Her back was pressed against Peter's back and she was staring at Nick as she spoke.
He staggered backwards slightly as it was now very clear to him and everyone around them for that matter, that Carla was protecting Peter.
"You know what…" Nick said, shaking his head in disbelief. "I should have known better... You two are welcome to each other." He turned around and then stormed right towards the exit of the pub.
"Nick!" Carla called after him but he just flung the door open and walked right out.
Carla raised a hand to her forehead in frustration before turning to Peter.
"What?" He cried as she shook her head at him, "Don't look at me like that… He's the one who swung for me at first." Peter then took hold of his chin as if he was in pain and as Carla reached forward to touch it, Michelle realised that everyone was still watching and said,
"I reckon you two ought to take this out back don't you? Go on Peter… I'll bring you some ice." Peter nodded at Michelle and started to walk around the bar, leaving Carla stood in the middle of the pub.
Everything had happened so quickly that she hadn't had a chance to take it all in.
The entire pub had their eyes wide and their mouths open at what they had just witnessed and it was clear that this was going to be the talk of the town for days.
"Carla!" Michelle called, taking hold of her best friend who seemed to be in a trance and pushing her in the right direction of her living room to see Peter.
The very same room that they ended it.
Peter was sat on a chair at the dining table when Carla walked in and as Michelle went back to the bar to get some ice.
Even though he was in pain, Peter couldn't help but smirk at Carla as she walked towards him, his smirk was infectious and as she sat down, Carla couldn't help but smirk back… even though she was still a little angry with him.
"It's not funny Peter…" she said as Michelle came back with a tea towel full of ice. She handed it to Peter who nodded gratefully at her and said,
"Thanks Chelle… It's good to see you."
"It's good to see you he says…" Michelle said, shaking her head as Peter raised the ice to his chin. "Right… I guess I'll leave you to it." Michelle said as she walked towards the door, she closed it behind her and left Carla and Peter alone.
Their last meeting was so intense.
Full of anger.
Full of pain but this one was already so much more different then that.
As Peter struggled to hold the ice on his chin, Carla rolled her eyes and took it off him. She leant her elbow on the table and held the ice to his chin gently.
"Thanks…" Peter said, he was still smiling at Carla just because he was happy to be in her presence.
"You… are welcome." Carla replied, she smiled softly back at him and then sighed at the sight of his slightly fat lip.
They sat in silence for a while.
Carla was staring down at the table but Peter was staring at her... longingly so.
She tried to ignore it.
She tried to pretend as if she wasn't aware that he was transfixed but her eyes disobeyed her and they met his within seconds.
"What?" Carla laughed, shaking her head and clearing her throat.
"I can't believe he proposed." Peter said, half laughing as he spoke and even though his chin throbbed with pain.
"Well how the hell d'ya think I feel?" Carla exclaimed, still holding the ice on Peter's chin, she only put it down when she felt it beginning to melt within her fingers. She got up and put the rest of ice in the kitchen and when she came back to the table, Peter gently took hold of her hand.
"So…" Peter began as Carla sat down on the chair next to him.
"What are you doing ere?" she asked.
"What you mean other than getting beat by Nick Tilsey?" Peter remarked making Carla kick him gently underneath the table.
"Seriously Peter." She said, "I… take it you got my message." She didn't know why but she had suddenly got so embarrassed at the mention of her message.
The one where she not only told Peter that she'd broken up with Nick but also that she was in love with him.
"I sure did…" Peter nodded, still clutching onto Carla's hand for dear life.
"And…" she said, moving her fingers against his and taking hold of a few.
"And I love you too… of course I do..." Peter said, Carla was staring down at their entwined fingers as he spoke. She was smiling and when she looked up at Peter she shook her head in disbelief and said,
"This isn't happening."
"Yes it is…" Peter chuckled, "It is happening and I'm sorry… sorry for how I left things with you last week."
"Yeah well… I'm sorry too… and... I'll admit… waiting for you n Jessica at the airport was a little on the... stalker side."
"A little?" Peter laughed making Carla look even more sheepish than before.
"Don't Peter…" she said, shaking her head at him and taking a deep breath. "I really didn't know what else to do... I couldn't get the thought of you n Jessica out of me mind… although seeing her only made it worse."
"I broke up with her." Peter blurted out, not knowing that Carla had already known this news because Jessica had told her earlier on that day.
"I… know." Carla said, understanding how crazy this probably made her sound... again. She knew that Peter was probably thinking all sorts, that she had done some more digging and had somehow found this out.
"You… know…" He laughed again and stared at Carla who glanced down at their hands.
"She told me." Carla explained, just coming out with it and hoping that he wouldn't be annoyed at Jess.
"She... told you? When?"
"Earlier on today… she actually came ere and found me... said she just asked around." Carla said.
"Wow…" Peter breathed, unable to believe that Jessica had actually sought Carla out.
"Yes flamin wow…" Carla cried with a smirk. "Do you see what you do to us women Peter Barlow? You've got us walking around town, practically stalking you… I mean my god it's like summat out of Fatal Attraction." Peter couldn't help but laugh at Carla's comment as she affectionately reached forward and ran a hand through his hair.
"So what did she say?" Peter asked, getting slightly nervous because he knew that he'd have to talk about his Dad soon.
He was enjoying their flirtatious banter and he knew the moment he had to talk about his Dad would be the moment things became serious.
"A lot… that you ended it in China and that you're a good guy." Carla explained, Peter laughed falsely at the good guy comment, which made Carla raise an eyebrow at him. "What?" She asked.
"I'm just not so sure that I'm a good guy to be quite honest with ya…" He said, "I mean after everything I've done... not to mention I was seriously considering beating the shit out of Nick back there."
"Is that so?" Carla asked, her right eyebrow still perfectly raised.
"Yeah… I don't know who he thinks he is to be honest with ya… I mean how can he ave the nerve to propose to my wife and do it in public as well." Peter tutted.
He was being deadly serious but Carla couldn't help but giggle at him, she was absent-mindedly stroking her thumb against the back of his hand and when the laughter died down, she said,
"Do you wanna know what else Jessica told me?"
"I think... I ave an idea…" said Peter before biting down on his lip anxiously.
"She said… there was something going on with you… something that you aven't told me and something that meant that you were going to need me." Carla said, watching Peter intently as he sat before her. "So… do you need me?"
Peter sniffed hard and let a tear run down his cheek before nodding at Carla slowly.
"Yes." He said weakly. "I really really do... so much."
Just by the tone of his voice and the look on his face, Carla knew that this was going to be difficult.
She leant forward and tightly put her arms around Peter.
"I'm here Peter... I'm here."
"I need to start at the beginning." Peter said, clearing his throat as Carla let go of him.
"What do you mean?" She asked, Peter cleared his throat and took a deep breath.
He looked sad and almost like he was in pain so Carla leant forwards and took hold of his hand again for support.
"That night we first… y'know… again… well I'd come back to see me Dad… I'd been back in Manchester for a few weeks and he invited me around for dinner." Peter began, Carla nodded at him but kept quiet because it sounded like Peter was going to finally be honest with her.
He was finally going to tell her everything and she didn't want to wait a minute longer.
"Well you n I both know that I didn't make it to me Dad's. As soon as I saw you leave the pub I just had to follow you…"
"Who's the stalker now eh?" Carla joked, Peter laughed quietly for a moment but then his face flashed back to sadness. "Okay…" she said, fake zipping up her lip with her finger and thumb to show that she would be quiet.
Peter took a moment to take in how adorable Carla had just looked and then continued,
"You looked out of this world and I just couldn't help but walk behind you… I was hoping you'd turn around n see me but when you didn't I just had to tap you on your shoulder and... then you kissed me."
"I didn't know it was you." Carla said, Peter didn't look like he was too convinced and titled his head to the side before saying,
"Well whoever you thought it was… that was it… that kiss had got me hooked."
"Me too." Carla nodded, "I guess that's what happens when two people with such addictive personalities get it on eh?"
"Definitely." Peter said, "And speaking of addictions I ave to make it clear that I haven't had a drink for years."
"Good." Carla nodded again.
"But I won't lie to you Carla… I've had some cravings… a lot of cravings if I'm honest… especially lately and after that night I just couldn't get you out of my head… I tried I really did. I tried to stay away and pretend it never happened but my Dad was still on at me to come over and when I did… he told me."
"Told you what?" Carla asked leaning forward a little. Peter sniffed again and wiped his eyes as another tear fell.
He didn't have to say it.
He didn't need to spell it out.
It was finally so clear.
She didn't know exactly what it was that was that made her see... just that the connection she had with Peter made it clear that this was about his Dad.
"Peter…" Carla stammered, "What's wrong with him?"
"He's got… Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma." Peter almost whispered, Carla breathed out in shock and swallowed as he then said, "It's a form of… Cancer."
"Oh…" Carla couldn't get the words out at first, she shook her head but then she took a deep breath in because she knew that Peter needed her to be strong. "When?"
"It was that night I came to the factory…" Peter said, his voice laced in pain. "We'd been to the doctors that day… I didn't plan it… I'd gone out for a fag but somehow my legs just took me to you… my heart just took me to you… as cheesy as it sounds." He smiled then.
He smiled at his own corniness and Carla smiled too, even though she felt like bursting into a fit of tears.
"You've known this long?" Carla asked.
"Well he didn't have a diagnosis back then… he just knew that he was ill… and the doctor had done some tests. Carla my Dad didn't want anyone to know, not even his closest friends… That's why I couldn't tell you… that's why I couldn't be seen… it would make people suspicious and I couldn't have people find out… because my Dad didn't want that… y'know."
"Peter…" Carla breathed, knowing he was getting himself worked up and that he needed to take a breath so that he could calm down.
He nodded at her knowing what she wanted him to do without her even having to say it and when he was ready, he started to speak again.
"I never meant to hurt you Carla… n I mean that."
"I know…" Carla nodded tearfully. "I know." She squeezed his hand tightly and waited patiently for him to continue.
"I've been going with him… to all his appointments n stuff… I don't know why but I always wanted to make sure that I was smartly dressed y'know… like looking good in front of the doctors would make him proud or something stupid like that…"
"He is proud of you Peter… I know it." Carla insisted, not knowing that just earlier on Ken had told him how proud he was.
"Y'know as painful as this all is… telling you about it feels… so good." Peter said, "Going to all these appointments made me want to drink so bad…"
"I understand Peter… I really do..." Carla said but he shook his head at her.
"No…do you remember that first night I came to yours... before we'd got together and when I admitted how I felt about you… the one just before Christmas?" Peter asked.
"Course I do…" Carla nodded, "That was one of the best nights of me life if I'm honest."
"Me too…" said Peter, "Well do you... remember how I said I treated you like booze?"
"Yeah…" Carla said nodding slowly and knowing what Peter was getting at. "I do remember that but that's not what you did ere Peter…"
"Isn't it?" Peter said disappointedly. "I mean I was doing the same thing wasn't I? Sneaking around… not telling anyone about you... about how I felt..." He sniffed hard and looked as if he was going to burst into tears again.
"Peter don't…" Carla begged, "I was up for all of it... just as much as you were… maybe even more in fact."
"I am so sorry Carla." Peter said wiping his eyes. "And not just about this… about everything I've ever done."
"Oh Peter don't start…" Carla sighed, "Okay… this is about the here n now…"
"I know but I still owe you an apology… I still treated you like an addiction and I am sorry." Peter said, not letting up.
"Trust me Peter… I was just as addicted to you… probably even more… not knowing where you were, what you were doing… it was torture."
"This is gonna sound mental..." Peter sighed, feeling like such a fool because he was literally sat with tears pouring down his cheeks and also with a a fat lip. "I really do feel like you kind of saved me… you know… whenever I felt like I couldn't cope… whenever I felt like things were spiralling out of control… I'd come here… I'd come to you n I felt so much better." Peter said, "I felt bad for treating you like that… like a fix… and when you started getting close to me like at the factory that time… I got worried I'd hurt you again, so I pushed you away… and I'm really sorry for that too."
"Peter stop saying sorry cause you're doing me head in…" Carla said, "You weren't keeping me a secret, you were keeping a secret for your Dad… and it sounds like you ave been a real rock to him… So if I was there for you without even knowing it then I'm ridiculously happy about that... okay?"
"Things could ave been so different you know… I could ave done this properly… maybe if I'd asked to speak to you… maybe if I'd begged you for another chance that night… I could have showed you that I've changed and not been a cheater all over again."
"Peter… that night happened exactly how it was supposed to… we can't change the past and anyway I'm more concerned about the future… our future… your Dad's future... How's he coping with everything?" Carla asked, thinking about all the times she had seen Ken out and about as normal, wishing she had paid more attention to him, wishing she had asked him if he was okay more often.
"He's soldering through it of course. Acting like it's nothing and as if he's going to be completely fine." Peter said, "He had his first lot of Chemo today and the entire way through it he was just nattering away about something he watched on TV…"
"Wait? What? He had his first lot of Chemo today… n you're ere talking to me?" Carla asked, shaking her head at Peter and feeling guilty.
"He's the one who told me to find you." Peter said, "He worked it out Carla… me n you… he's had it all sussed out for days apparently."
"That man…" Carla sighed, then there was a small silence.
One where Carla just held onto Peter's hand tightly and one where the only sound you could hear was their breathing.
After a while Peter spoke first and said,
"So… you broke up with Nick?"
"I sure did… as you can see he's taken it really well." Carla said sarcastically. "I still can't believe he proposed to me… and in the flamin pub of all places."
"He must really love you..." Peter sighed, slightly unable to understand how he was sitting there and feeling sorry for Nick. "It's not too late you know… you can still say yes to him… I'm sure he'd take you back in a heartbeat."
"No… he wouldn't… I think he and pretty much everyone else has cottoned on to the fact that me n you have been doing the dirty on him." Carla said, she still felt unbelievably guilty but a small smile crept up onto her face as she said, "Besides… how could I marry him… when I'm still so in love with you that it hurts?"
Peter's sore face lit up when he heard those words.
When he heard her say she loved him.
"I love you too… always ave done… always will." Peter said, Carla looked thrilled as she down at their joined hands and when she looked back up at Peter he nervously said, "I mean I meant what I said at the factory though… I don't think this is the right time for you n me…"
"And that you're too messed up to get back together with me?" Carla replied nervously, hoping that Peter wasn't about to end things with her as she had just got him back in her life.
"Yeah… well no." Peter stuttered, "Don't get me wrong I am still completely besotted with ya, it's just…" He paused when Carla smiled sheepishly at his comment. "I think that with everything that's happening with me Dad n all… I'm not in any position to be good for you… at all..."
"Okay…" Carla swallowed, "So where does that leave us?" She breathed in and out rigidly just from the thought of what Peter could say next.
She knew how scared she looked.
How worried and how utterly unable to refrain from bursting right into tears if this man was about to let her go.
"I dunno..." Peter said, "All I know is that I need you... I need you more than I've ever needed anyone... how selfish am I eh?"
"You know what..." Carla said, "I think... that what you need right now is... a friend."
"A friend?" Peter asked,
"Yeah... someone who knows you... someone who loves you... who you can lean on... and that someone is me." Carla said, leaning closer to him and resting her forehead against his for a while. "We don't ave to talk about the past... we don't have to think about the future either... we can just take each day as it comes... we can just... be... I'd like that."
"Me too." Peter nodded, then he grinned at Carla and said, "Although you can kiss me if ya want?"
"What with that busted up lip?" Carla teased, kissing him on his cheek instead and then letting her head linger in front of his. She paused before biting her lip and saying, "I wanna see him Peter… I wanna see your Dad."
"Okay." He nodded.
They both got up of their chairs and together, they left the Rover's Return Pub to see Ken.