Peter awoke.
He awoke in a place that he had spent the past few months wishing he'd get the chance to wake up in.
He awoke at eight thirty eight am in a place that he had once truly believed he'd never get back into.
Yet here he was, on a Friday morning in beneath the black, silky covers of that place he so needed to be.
Carla's bed.
He awoke alone and sat up to hear someone moving about in the kitchen... her... she was only metres away and that felt like it was too far.
He awoke naked but he got up off the bed feeling a lot more than just satisfied from last night.
Last night meant... last night... last night meant the world.
Last night meant that he and Carla were no longer "friends" and last night she had even asked him to be her husband again, although now... Peter wasn't too sure if that was just something that Carla had said in the moment.
Last night… After the obvious that is, Peter and Carla both spent it in each other's arms, in a state they had both promised each other they wouldn't.
Peter shook his head and chuckled at the rules they had made months ago, the ones that they had only made because they were too weak, too stubborn and or scared to admit that they were still madly in love with each other and even though he had only spent a few moments alone, Peter quickly got dressed because he didn't want to spent a single second without Carla.
The news that his Dad didn't want to carry on with his chemotherapy still had him terrified, it still turned his blood cold and made him short of breath but he felt slightly more at ease about it now and that was mainly because of Carla.
Her love, her support and her touch made him feel invincible.
When he walked into the kitchen, he found her stood in a black dressing gown with her kettle in hand.
She was stood there, with no make up on and with a lot of rather messy hair but Peter still thought Carla looked absolutely mesmerising although he couldn't help but wonder how come she hadn't woke him and just how long she had been up on her own.
"Mornin…" She said lazily as Peter gingerly approached her, rubbing his tired eyes and dragging his two feet.
"Good Morning." Peter replied with a shy smile, one that Carla couldn't help but find totally adorable.
She knew what he was thinking, that she had maybe gotten up and tried to make a swift exit so that they didn't wake up next to each other.
"Don't worry…" She began, she was stood at the kitchen counter next to two mugs that she had filled with coffee and she was rather glad that Peter had woken up when he did because that meant she could fill his cup up too. "I didn't ditch you… I've just been up for hours n you looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake ya." She said taking some milk from the fridge and unscrewing the lid.
"Oh right." Peter nodded, watching Carla as she turned her back to him and began pouring milk into the mugs that she had prepared, She clearly had no clothes on underneath that dressing gown she had put on this morning which Peter found more than a little bit distracting.
"Peter!" Carla suddenly called out, for the second time that is because he hadn't even heard the first.
"Errrr yeah…" He quickly said, snapping right out of his day dream as he licked his bottom lip, trying to refrain from staring too much.
"D'ya still take sugar in your brew?" Carla asked with her head on one side, aware that she had his complete attention and affection.
"Yeah I'll ave two please…" Peter replied. "And a few biscuits if you're offering." He cheekily added.
"You'll rot your teeth y'know." Carla grinned, turning back around before reaching over to the sugar pot, she did what she always used to do when Peter asked her for two sugars and gave him one, smiling down at the mug foolishly and reminiscing on how he would never notice it either.
He jusr continued to watch her and when she turned around she caught him staring… again.
"Here…" Carla smirked with a raised eyebrow, before handing him a mug of steaming hot coffee.
"Did ya not ave any biscuits then?" Peter asked as he took the mug off Carla.
"Anything else?" She sighed with half a laugh walking back over to her kitchen, she rifled through her cupboard until she produced a packet of chocolate digestives and said, "Will these do?"
"Perfect." Peter nodded triumphantly, enjoying this extremely normal routine they were taking part in.
It was almost as if they were like any other couple… well almost.
There was a massive elephant in the room, one that was about to be addressed at any moment now.
Carla brought the digestive biscuits with her back over to where Peter stood and gestured towards her dining table as she said,
"Take a seat Peter." In a rather authoritative tone, one that had Peter suddenly a little scared.
It was the same table she had sat him down at before. That night when they were laying down rules as a part of their wicked and deceiving games.
Peter took one look at the space she had asked him to sit in and then grinned nervously.
"Uh oh…" He said, taking his coffee cup and sitting down at the table, he stumbled on his way down and Carla knew he was slightly worried about what was to come.
"Oh don't uh oh like that…" Carla said with a smile, walking over to the table and not sitting down on the other end of it but sitting on the chair closest to Peter, he chuckled as she put her mug down and pulled her chair closer.
"Am I in trouble?" he asked.
"No… Course not ya pillock." Carla cried, shaking her head with a light sigh. "We just need to talk that's all… I mean… I ave some stuff I need to say…"
"Okay..." Peter breathed, not knowing what Carla was about to say but hoping it wasn't going to be that she regretted last night.
"Don't look so nervous darlin…" Carla said giving Peter a coy poke in the stomach.
There was a pause, a long one. Carla didn't know quite where to start so instead she just sat in front of Peter.
"Erm…" He said with a laugh, causing Carla to giggle also.
"I'm sorry…" She said with a shake of her head, her tousled brown hair moved with it and as she tucked some of it behind her ear she said, "First of all… last night was… Out of this world." What she said made Peter smile and as he did so Carla then took a deep breath before continuing. "As I said I've been awake for ages now… thinking and I just… I know I said I wanted you to be my husband again but… well I ave to be honest ere Peter..." Peter's smile soon faded Carla shook her head and said, "I'm… still not over what you did to me."
Peter nodded.
What else could he do?
Carla had every right to still not be over what he did to her and if he was being one hundred percent honest with himself he knew she would probably never be over it.
Once again he felt his blood run cold.
He felt short of breath and like his whole world was about to fall apart but he couldn't do too much about it because Carla was totally justified.
There was a silence before she spoke again, she was still looking at him lovingly and after taking a large sip of coffee she said,
"You… ya get that right?"
"Yes. Yes I do." Peter said, shifting uncomfortably in his chair and swallowing as Carla put her mug down onto the table.
She sighed and ran a hand through her long hair before biting her lip and saying,
"I really want to believe that you've changed Peter… but… well look what happened with us…" She paused because she was about to tread on dangerous territory with her next comment but in the end she went ahead and said it anyway because it needed to be said.
Peter needed to hear this.
"Peter you cheated… again..."
Peter could have probably burst into an irate set of tears right there and then.
Once again, he knew that Carla was absolutely right here, that he had cheated again but hearing it like that still made him feel about two centimetres tall.
He was also feeling slightly frustrated because Carla was no angel… in fact she was nothing of the sort and Peter felt like telling her a little bit about that...
Only at this point he knew he was probably the closest he'd ever been to getting her back and he didn't want to do anything at all to ruin this precious chance.
Carla on the other hand, could tell what she had just said had upset and angered Peter.
She saw it in the way he had flinched when she said it and how his fists had clenched tightly in his lap.
Now this wasn't particularly something that she wanted to talk about.
She loved Peter insanely and she didn't want to hurt or upset him in any way shape or form but she also knew had to be honest with him.
Peter cleared his throat and shook his head a little at a loss of words before eventually saying,
"I…" He paused and then shook his head frustratedly, "You know what? Never mind."
"No… go on." Carla said with a frown, "Peter?" She said after he had shook his head again. "Say it… what ever it is."
"It doesn't matter." He said in his best casual voice but Carla wasn't having any of this sort of behaviour from Peter at all.
She sighed and moved her chair to that she was sitting directly opposite him and said,
"You know what whilst we're ere I think we should take this time to sit and be one hundred per-cent honest with each other… get everything off our chests… no matter how awkward, no matter how much it's going to annoy the other we should just say what's on our minds."
"Really?" Peter asked with an eyebrow raised, knowing what he was about to say to Carla would annoy her no end, in fact he was quite sure he might earn a smack because of it, especially since the last time he brought it up he got one.
"Yes really… Peter if we ave any hope in making it... we ave to be honest… I mean after all... Maybe if we had have been honest with each other earlier on things wouldn't have gotten this far… and I don't just mean since you've been back… I mean before… when we were still together..." Carla said and she had a look in her eyes that told Peter that she truly did believe that they would be able to make it.
So he nodded and swallowed before he said,
"Okay… Let's be honest."
"Good." Carla nodded triumphantly, "What were you about to say earlier then?"
Peter waited a moment.
He thought over it once more in his head and decided that he had to be truthful.
After all that's what Carla wanted wasn't it?
"I was gonna say that I really do understand how you feel about my cheating… but you my dear… well you're no angel in this situation are you? I mean you cheated on Nick… and I really hate to say it but it's not the first time you've cheated on one of your partners either…" Peter stopped talking when the look of hope in Carla's eyes soon turned to one of anger and as she looked down at her lap he was sure he was about to regret what he had just said.
Carla sighed deeply.
She exhaled and tried her very best not to lash out at what Peter had just said even though it really had touched a nerve with her.
It only took her a few seconds and for her to swallow her pride for Carla to realise that Peter did have a very valid point.
She had cheated on Nick and Tony for that matter but she still couldn't help but look up at Peter and then say,
"It's... different."
"What is?" Peter asked, raising an eyebrow and hoping that Carla wasn't going to try and wriggle her way out of his because as far as he was concerned he had every right to mention how he felt about her past.
"My cheating." Carla said, slightly regretting this Let's Be Honest conversation now.
"Oh yeah?" Peter asked, leaning back on his chair feeling a little amused at Carla's nerve.
"Yeah…" She said with tears in her green eyes, ones that were now on the verge of spilling right down her cheeks. "Because… I didn't cheat on you."
That kept Peter quiet for a moment but only for a moment because he replied shortly afterwards with,
"So… it's alright that you've also cheated because that cheating wasn't on me?" Peter asked, trying to keep his tone of voice level because he didn't want to sound sarcastic or angry or anything that was going to maybe start an argument.
"Yes." Carla said bluntly but then she changed heart. "Well… no obviously not, cheating is never okay but…" She sighed and sniffed as she still had tears in her eyes and was trying not to let them fall as she continued to speak. "Peter... I would never... ever ave cheated on you... and I never will... and I know that you know that's the god's honest truth."
Peter nodded.
He nodded because he did know.
He knew just how much Carla had loved him and that she would have never done what he did, not in a million years.
He looked down at his hands and then chewed his lip because he wasn't sure what to say next, thankfully Carla spoke for him.
"Look… we've been through all this before Peter… You've cheated, I've cheated… what we need to do now is talk about the future… how to move on from this y'know?"
"Yes." Peter nodded and then there was another silence.
One where they both sat opposite each other for a moment.
Carla took another sip of her coffee whilst Peter just sat there and it was another few minutes before she eventually cleared her throat and asked,
"Have you ever been cheated on Peter?"
He stopped for a moment and watched her.
Surely not.
Surely she hadn't forgotten that Leanne had been the one to cheat on him first… with Nick Tilsley of all people.
After all she had been there through it all and had actually known about it too.
"Leanne…" he said nodded his head slowly. "With Nick."
Carla hadn't actually forgotten about Leanne, she was actually asking Peter a rhetorical question because she knew that he knew just what it felt like to be cheated on.
"Exactly…. so you know… when someone cheats on you… someone you really love… it changes you… it changes the way you relate to them and the way you trust them." Carla watched Peter nod along with what she was saying and when he went to say something that looked like it might be in defence she quickly said, "Peter I was there… I saw you with Leanne n I know that you didn't trust her the same way again so don't even try to say you did."
"I wasn't..." Peter replied shaking his head, "What I was actually going to say was that I would totally understand if you felt like you couldn't trust me again and I would totally understand if you changed your mind about us... but you ave to know that I have learnt my lesson. Losing you… and our baby…" His voice cracked when he said the word baby and Carla had to take a deep breath to not start crying there and then.
Peter suddenly looked apologetic for mentioning their baby but Carla just shook her head and said,
"Go on... continue."
"Erm well... losing you both it almost killed me Carla… literally and I know that I would be an absolute idiot to do anything to hurt you again." Peter said sadly.
"You say that now Peter… n yeah… me n you could pick up where we left off and things might be great for a while but what happens if it's not… Peter I don't think I ave it in me to lose you again." Carla said, shaking her head at the mere thought of not having Peter around every day.
At the mere thought of him leaving again.
At the mere thought of him finding someone else, loving someone else… someone that wasn't her.
These thoughts were petrifying, thoughts that made her shiver on her seat and feel extremely sick.
She swallowed hard and tried to stay calm as a tear finally escaped and sped down her cheek.
Peter saw this, he saw the effect he had had on Carla and he knew he had to everything he can to make her feel like he was ready for this.
Like he was completely ready to be her husband again.
He moved forwards and took hold of Carla's hand before he spoke.
"Carla… that's just it. You won't lose me again… not ever… I swear to god I will never ever leave you."
His words sounded heart felt.
His words sounded true and his words sounded like heaven to Carla but he could still tell that she had slight doubts as she sat before him and sniffed,
"I mean it." he said firmly, staring right into her eyes and not daring to look away for even a spilt second.
"So… you're not too messed up to be with me anymore?" Carla asked, staring affectionately back at Peter with her head on one side.
"Oh I'm messed up… royally so…" Peter said with a smirk, "But everything that's happened recently with my Dad has really made me see things differently… n what I've learnt it that life is way too short for us to be wasting time like this… I mean me n you should be together Carla… we should be enjoying married life and not having any sort of conversations like this, there should be no situations where there is even a possibility that me n you won't grow old together... You were right though… I never did trust Leanne the same again after what she did to me with Nick… but…"
"But?" Carla asked as Peter stopped to take breath.
"But… I did give her another chance… and Carla… that's all I need… a chance to show you that I have changed." Peter said quietly and hopefully.
He almost closed his eyes he was so hopeful.
"I thought you said me n you were no good for each other?" Carla added with a small smirk, one that showed Peter that she was just messing about and trying to lighten the mood.
"Oh that was just the idiot in me talking…" Peter said, "He tends to crop up from time to time... just ignore him." Carla giggled at Peter as he rolled his eyes and then sniffed because he was on the verge of tears now too.
Carla looked apologetically at him and squeezed his hand tight before saying,
"Peter… I know that everything you ave happening with your Dad right now means you don't need this kind of thing… I just wanted all of this stuff to be out in the open y'know… and you were right… I'm no saint… I've done some terrible things in the past but all of that stops now okay… this is it… a new beginning… for both of us... okay?"
"Okay…" Peter said with a nod, Carla smiled at him from ear to ear and looked down at their entwined hands as he took a very large sigh of relief and said, "God I was so scared when you said sit down."
"Yeah I saw the look on ya face…" Carla began with a silent laugh, "What on earth did ya think I was going to say eh?"
"Honestly?" Peter asked and when Carla nodded he looked sheepish and said, "That you didn't want me back after all… n that last night was a mistake."
"Oh darlin…" Carla said shaking her head and staring affectionately at him with a smile. "Never… this is it Peter… this is… our chance." A tear fell down Carla's cheek as she spoke and when she sniffed again she said, "Let's not waste it… promise me we won't waste it Peter."
"I promise." Peter said and with that, he and Carla simultaneously put their arms around each other.
This was it.
The beginning of their new beginning.