Hana Hou 2
Chapt. 3
Truth lay folded before emergence, like the wings of a Monarch butterfly within the tissue-thin walls of a blackening cocoon. The transition from jade green flecked with gold to an ominous black came days before the rebirth, something that held a deep truth she could not yet understand. It seemed to cross a threshold of sorts, one that could be easily mistaken for death but would in time be revealed to be anything but the end. There was a lesson here, somewhere, that transcended any language that she knew of.
Rules were at play here, an order that could not be revealed because it surpassed her ability to understand. Years ago, that would have frustrated or even angered her, but now she knew better. What she understood of the universe around her constituted just a splinter of a greater truth, and it could never be more than that.
Folded tight, closed off to her. It took a long time to move beyond that realization to acceptance.
She looked across the sand and watched the teenage girl moving along the water's edge, sensing the connection with her that had only grown stronger since their first meeting.
The sand on which Kimmy moved was real, as was the ocean beyond her. The water, though, was more than matter that simply existed; it was also a medium of force, time, and rhythm. She could not understand what lay beneath the surface; how it was that she had come to sense a very real connection, as though she herself had given birth to the daughter that Kimmy had become.
Breathing. The cycle of days, of nights, of human lives. We exist as matter and as medium. And matter-
"Penny for your thoughts."
The cherished voice swept the tint of melancholy away. "Don't know if they're worth even that," she murmured. "Just wondering about stuff."
His hand was warm around hers, noticeable now that the sun sat low on the water. He waited patiently, as was his way, for her to elaborate.
"I know Kimmy is Emma's daughter, and yet I don't think I could love her any more than if she were my own. I don't want to take Emma's place, not in Kimmy's heart…" She stopped, not sure of how to go on. She turned her gaze away from the girl and looked into his eyes. "Or yours."
He stood silently for a moment, his demeanor calm, accepting. His hand released hers, and moved to the nape of her neck, drawing her towards him. She turned to lay her face against his shoulder and was a moment away from releasing a sigh when he spoke.
"Daria, I don't think it's a black or white kinda thing." He stroked her hair softly, gently. It was her turn to wait for him to go on.
"Being with her felt like I was with you. I'm not sure exactly what I mean by that- you know how her past was kind of odd, like it was like a fog? Why I didn't think too much about that? It was because it felt like it was supposed to happen the way it did, and that eventually things would all work themselves out."
She put her arms around his waist and pulled him closer still.
He went on. "You know how I didn't say 'in the end' things would work out? We're not at the end. Maybe there never is an end."
The beach they were camping on was called Pōlihale. It was at the end of the road-no, it was past the end of the road- they had taken a rough dirt road to get there- on the opposite side of the island from where they lived.
Kauai could not be circumnavigated by car, because the Na Pali cliffs on the northern perimeter were impassable. They lived on the wetter windward side, where the winds came from over the ocean and dropped much of their moisture. This was the leeward side, the dry side of the island.
They were settled in at the south end of the beach park, near the area called Queen's Pond. It was okay to swim in the area, even though just a little farther north was an open ocean beach with the sand dropping off suddenly not too far off shore. Miles of broad sandy beach ran north towards the ridge beyond which lay the hidden Kalalau Valley.
Mits had brought plenty of firewood, some of which were the bigger chunks of guava that he and Trent had cleared after the last storm. Added to that were cut up construction lumber- more than enough for the evening's fire. Noticing that some of the tents farther away showed signs of long term use, they had brought the extra wood over to them. Some of the campers were living on the beach, apparently.
Kuulei's older brothers, Jason and Darryl, were starving, having just gotten out of the water not all that long ago. The surf wasn't that great in the evening; it would be a lot better in the morning according to the charts.
Mavis chased the boys away from the coolers. "If you two lolos wanna eat, go help your dad with the grill. The meat's in that blue cooler by the van."
Jason grumbled as he and his brother grabbed a handful of chips each and headed over to the big 4X4 van. Finding the right cooler, they lugged the food over to their father. Both boys cast an appreciative gaze at the their sister's cute friend before being swatted on the head by an amused Mits.
"Better watch out. Her hānai1 mom going fix you boys good," he chuckled. "You no like piss her off unless you wanna get your okoles2 rearranged."
Soon the grilled chicken and fish was ready, and portioned out on plates. Somehow food just tasted better grilled on the beach in the company of friends. It was magical somehow- even Daria's potato salad was great, unless she'd actually gotten better at cooking. Maybe the time spent in Mavis's kitchen had rubbed off on her.
The kids wanted a campfire, so Jason, being the oldest, soon put the others to work. Not long after, marshmallows were being ruined and eaten anyway.
Trent pulled out his beater acoustic and began playing some of the tunes he had learned from one of the Elders he had recorded in the field.
"Eh Brah," came a voice out of the darkness. A couple of other campers appeared, one with a tenor ukulele and another with another guitar. "What kine tuning you stay playing?" the guitar guy said.
"Thanks for the firewood," the ukulele guy said, holding out a six-pack of beer.
Trent motioned for them to join them, and began to show them the slack key tuning on his guitar. He started in with the vamp that an old man had showed him.
"Hoo, Brah, old school, yeah?" Squeaky, the guitar player laughed as he nodded to the tempo. He began to tap out the rhythm on the belly of his instrument.
"Fo' real, Uncle Eddie used to play that tuning, I tink," smiled Manu, the ukulele guy. They picked up on the melodic line that Trent was improvising, and they took turns with the lead.
They all laughed as they brought the tune home.
Mits smiled, noting the ethnic diversity around the fire. "Eh, you guys know the song Lai Toodle?"
Manu laughed. "Da one da Sons of Hawaii wen sing? Shua ting, Brah!"
It made Daria smile. It was an odd song; gently poking fun at the racist attitudes that fell into place in the time of the sugar plantations, when the first immigrant laborers worked for a dollar a day cutting and hauling sugar cane in the tropic heat while the Caucasian Luna, the foremen, lorded it over them on horseback.
No can help, just how it is, the song was saying. She found herself singing along:
Here comes that sanakapichi bossy
He rides on a big white horsie
He too muchee pekupeku ke la Pilipino
Ke la Pilipino hapai kō.
Lai toodle, lai toodle, lai ō
Lai toodle, lai toodle, lai ō
He too muchee pekupeku ke la Pilipino
Ke la Pilipino hapai kō.
She hoped that none of her students felt this way about her. She knew she demanded a lot from them, but they seemed to understand that she was simply recognizing their talent and challenging them to meet their potential. Perhaps it was the Asian cultural influence, where teaching was a greatly honored profession.
It was well past midnight when the fun wound down and people made their way to tents. Kimmy and Kuulei had been sitting with the boys telling each other ghost stories and freaking each other out, and the two girls were huddling in their tent, a light still on. The two boys laid their sleeping bags in the empty trailer behind the van, too lazy to put up their tent.
In the closeness of the night, Daria listened to the surf breaking on the sand in the darkness and Trent's soft snoring. She put her arm over him and closed her eyes. He smelled good, like toothpaste and barbecue and guava wood smoke.
"Got sand in my butt crack," reported Darryl over breakfast. The girls responded by throwing their garbage at him.
"Thank you for sharing," Kimmy snickered. "Other than that, the surf looked pretty good this morning."
"Was choice," nodded Jason. "Hey, Auntie Daria, get surf Mainland? Where you no need wetsuit?" He was heading off for college in the fall, and would miss the warm oceans of home.
"Eh, how many times I tell you, no talk laidat!" Mavis scolded, almost serious. "They going tink you retarded on the mainland!"
"Well, excuuuuse me," Jason sassed. "Let me rephrase that. Aunt Daria, is there anywhere on the mainland where the surf won't freeze your genitals off without an inch of insulation?"
Kimmy and Kuulei did a poor job of holding in their snarfing.
Daria cracked a smile. "Not where you're going, Jason. You might start training by putting ice cubes in your shorts."
"Oh, pooor thing," Mavis laughed. "Maybe you'll have to study instead."
"I'd leave the board at home," Trent smiled.
"Bummahs," Jason sighed. After a moment, he joined in the laughter.
Darryl smiled. "At least got cute Haole girls on da Mainland, like Auntie Daria."
Kimmy fell asleep on the long drive back home. Daria smiled as the girl's weight shifted against her. She rolled up a towel and positioned it on the girl's shoulder so that she wouldn't get a sore neck later; reaching up she moved the long black hair over the makeshift pillow. Daria noticed Kimmy's reflection in the window on the other side.
Perhaps it was the blending of the Asian with the Caucasian. There was an ambiguity there that granted liberty to the light that fell on her; sometimes she saw a curve to the jaw or the lip or the finger that seemed to speak of folded lifetimes. Kimmy was her own person, and yet connections still mysterious flickered and shimmered in moments of distraction. In local parlance, Kimmy was a Hapa girl, of Eurasian ethnicity. She was growing up a rare beauty, Daria thought proudly. That beauty came from within, as well.
"Funny thing, the beach name Pōlihale," Mits said out of nowhere. "I heard that the translation for that is 'House Bosom,' so it kind of refers to a place that's the source of life. But the word 'Po' also is the afterlife, and some people say that there's an old Heiau3 in the area that souls travel to before they climb the cliffs to the north where they jump off this world and into the ocean that leads to the afterlife."
Mavis nodded, yawning. "The old Hawaiians say that there's a place on every island where souls go to jump off."
"Lots of stories," Trent mused. "They need to be saved."
They fell into a quiet time as they drove on home.
Daria settled back into her seat, thinking.
1 Hawaiian term meaning adoptive, regardless of age
2 butts
3 Ancient Hawaiian temple. One is advised not to fool around in such places, and to leave the rocks alone. Eh, I talking to you, stupidhead.
added note: surfing on Kauai is not suggested for visitors. Kauai beaches are notoriously dangerous because of rip currents, and locals are very careful about where they enter the water. Truthfully Polihale is not a great area for surfing unless you are intimately familiar with the area. To clarify the area called Queen's Pond is a shallow area protected by a reef and is NOT to be confused with Queen's Bath (actually nearer to where Daria, Kimmy and Trent live in this story). Queen's bath is not a beach but a rocky pool that has killed many people when the seas are rough.