Chapter 7:

Dedicated to Liv and Deena, love you both xx

"Hey." Michelle calls as she enters the flat through the readily opened door. "Just thought I would pop in and see how things went yesterday."

"Oh I wasn't aware you knew..." Nick frowns and I bite my lip awkwardly.

"Yeah, sorry..." I mutter. "I kind of told her we were trying and... Things."

"Things, meaning?" Nick prompts and I exchange a look with Michelle.

"You didn't tell him you were gonna ask me?" She stares at me, wide eyed and I shrug.

"Ask you what?" He persists looking from Michelle to me inquisitively.

"I just asked if... She would ever consider... Carrying our baby, had we needed to." I mumble.

"Carla!" Nick splutters. "You can't just ask people that!"

"Well I was panicking wasn't I?" I exclaim. "Plus, it's not just anyone, it's Michelle."

"Anyway, whatever you agreed on, we won't be needing your service thank you." Nick informs her.

"Hold on, don't throw it away like that!" I argue. "We might still take you up on that offer Chelle."

"I'm not a fast food counter!" She interrupts us. "You're not just asking me to make you a hamburger... This is serious, it's a child guys."

"Yeah, sorry." Nick coughs. "That was incredibly rude of us."

"So maybe you'd like to answer my earlier question." She prompts and I sit quietly on the sofa, until she sits down next to me, pulling my head onto her shoulder.

"It's me." I say, quietly, as Nick heads off to put the kettle on. "I have... Uh... Some disease I can't remember in my uterus."

"Endometriosis?" She questions, instantly and I give her a look.

"When did you get so smart?" I laugh.

"My mum had it." She explains, which makes me even more confused.

"But... Your mum had three kids." I frown and she nods.

"It doesn't prevent you from having children Carla." She strokes my hair gently. "Paul and Liam were IVF babies, when they actually had money before dad's accident. I was a surprise naturally conceived one, after the boys had been born."

"...And you all turned out happy and healthy?" I clarify.

"You can answer that, you saw more of them than me." She winks and I brush her off before her face falls slightly. "They wanted children so badly, you know? I think... That's why they were so devastated following their deaths... Because they would have done anything for them, and me. They just wanted to protect us with all they had..."

"Here." I hand her a tissue, pulling it out of the box on the coffee table and she smiles at me appreciatively.

"All I'm saying is, don't think that, that's it." She kisses me on the forehead before standing up. "I know you're gonna be great parents, whatever you decide to do."

"Thank you." I whisper and she squeezes my shoulder briefly, waving at Nick as he sees her out. He pauses for a second as he closes the door, before coming over and sitting down next to me, pulling me closer to him.

"We shouldn't be arguing about this." He tells me, placing kisses into my hair.

"Yeah, sorry." I nod, before looking up at him. "And I'm sorry about what I said to Chelle."

"She's your best friend." He sighs, as I slip my legs over his lap. "I'm surprised you didn't say anything sooner... And as for the surrogacy thing, at least you were prepared."

"Hmm..." I smile up at him as he kisses me softly. "I don't want to do surrogacy though."

"No?" He moves his fingers through my hair, relaxing me.

"I think one day we could adopt." I suggest. "A little girl maybe, like me. Imagine if someone had adopted me? Taken me in, given me a warm home, unconditional love, acceptance. A childhood. I would love to do that for someone else, Nick. Give them the life I never had."

"You're going soft, you." He chuckles slightly, breathing in the scent of my shampoo. "You said one day..."

"I think... If you are happy with it... I think we should try this IVF thing first?" I murmur. "Because I'm not getting any younger and well... I really want to carry a child Nick. I want to have that connection, like I did with her. I want to feel them growing inside of me, every kick, every craving. I want to grow with them. I want to give birth to them. Me; I want to give birth! What's happening to me?"

"You're becoming a mother." He replies, seriously and I can't prevent the tears from cascading down my cheeks at this. He was right; I already loved my child. Despite the fact they hadn't been conceived yet, I still loved them, whoever they were, whoever they wanted to be.

"Did you say ham or cheese?" Nick calls from the kitchen, but I can't answer, because I am stood, frozen up against the bathroom wall. I was pretty certain my heart had stopped beating a few minutes back, all set to drop dead at any second. I feel the cold feeling of the wall tiles behind me and push myself forwards. "You alright in there? You've been a while."

"...I'm pregnant." I manage to muster, emerging from the bathroom and standing motionless against the doorframe.

"Wha..." He whispers, studying me carefully, his gaze was so intense it could shatter my fragile figure at any second. I swallow hard before holding out the pregnancy test I had just taken, my hand shaking so I have to cling on to it for dear life. He walks towards me slowly, before taking it from my hand. I watch as he stares at it, taking in the two blue lines that he was faced with, before looking back at me. "I don't... Oh my..." He tries to formulate some kind of words before exhaling sharply, he looked as nervous as I did.

"You need to do another one." He tells me and I nod, heading back into the bathroom. I was a bit unsure as to how Nick seemed to think I could just urinate on cue, as if I was some sort of drinks machine. But eventually despite his persistent, pacing footsteps outside the door, I am done.

"Ok." I call and the door opens immediately, he stares at me as I wave it around, like some sort of magic wand, awaiting the result.

"Calm down." He tries to balance his voice.

"Calm down?" I repeat. "Nicholas I'm shitting myself."

"Least we're in the bathroom." He shrugs.

"Don't." I snap, trying to prevent the smile from showing.

"What made you take it the first time?" He asks, making small talk. My stomach was so full of butterflies, I felt as if I was about to make a speech on live television, times one hundred.

"I was sick." I mutter.

"You're sick, take a test." He says to himself and I hold my breath before passing it to him.

"You look." I bite my finger nails and he squeezes his eyes shut briefly before looking down at it. As soon as his face breaks into a smile I feel so relieved and yet so much more nervous.

"Yeah?" My breathing rate speeds up suddenly as I burst into tears and he wraps his arms around me instantly.

"I'm so proud of you." He whispers in my ear, and he was crying too, I could tell because my hair was beginning to get soaked with tears. "I love you so so much, you've made me so happy."

"Can I see it?" I pull away from him, reaching for the pregnancy test, still shaking like crazy as I look down at it, taking in the double line. "Mm." I mumble, tears spilling out of my eyes as I hold back laughter before looking up at him. "We're having a baby."

"Yeah." He nods, lifting my chin with his finger and kissing me gently before pulling me back into him, his embrace comforting. "We're having a baby."

Surprise! Leave a review if possible xxx