Wow, I just have to say, guys. Almost 1,000 views on this story and its only been up for a month. Reviews or not, I deeply appreciate that people are reading that. I would greatly appreciate reviews, though. I love hearing what you guys have to say about it. The positive feedback motivates me to keep writing. As a note though, there is a trigger warning on this chapter for attempted suicide. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter!

Eli's POV

Tick. Tick. Tick.

I looked up at the grandfather clock on the wall in front of me, breaking out of the thoughtless trance I had been in. Looking over, I saw that Clare was asleep beside me on my bed. We had gotten home late last night after going out and talking all night. I reached over and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. How did I get so lucky to get a girl, an angel, like Clare? She had helped me through many things, like getting over my guilt about how Julia died, and opening up about my true feelings. So I wasn't hiding behind a stone-mask all the time, or lashing out in anger, fearful that nobody would understand me. But Clare did. A small smirk curved on my lips as I looked at her, sleeping so peacefully. I reached over and grabbed my laptop from my nightstand, hoping Adam was online. I wanted to talk to him for a while until Clare woke up, if she woke up in time. We hadn't had much guy time since his visit last week.

Eli_G23: Hey, man. What's up?

Adam replied almost instantly.

Adam_T17: Not much, dude. Just listening to Drew talk about Bianca. *Rolls Eyes* You?

Eli_G23: Lol. I'm just sitting here waiting for Clare to wake up. *Sighs*

Adam_T17: Haha damn, that girl can sleep! Man, I'm bored tho.

I chuckled to myself as an idea popped into my head, Adam probably would say yes to what I was going to ask him.

Eli_G23: Me too. So, do you want to hang out? I was thinking we could go see that new Slasher film that came out.

Adam_T17: Hell yes! I want to see that! Ok. When do we go?

Eli_G23: Lol let me just go change my shirt and I'll text you when I'm outside your house. K?

Adam_T17: Oook. See you then.

Eli_G23 has signed off.

I got up and walked over to my closet and picked out another Dead Hand shirt. Shrugging the one I had on off, I slipped the new shirt over my head. Again, I looked over at Clare, who was still sleeping soundly. Deciding I was going to write her a note as to where I was heading, I began to look for a piece of paper and pen. Finally finding what I needed, I wrote down the note quickly and placed it beside her.

I glanced at her one last time, before heading out my room, down the stairs and out the front door. As I got into Morty, I texted Adam to tell him I was on my way. The whole ride there I couldn't stop thinking about Clare. I swear, this girl was like a drug to me, I couldn't get enough of her. All I hoped is that Clare would be fine until I came back home with Adam later. She had therapy in two days, and as far as I know, had been on the medication the therapist had prescribed her for three days. I was lost in thought about her and didn't even realize that I almost passed Adam's house until he shouted at me. "Yo, Eli! Did you lose your memory or something?" Laughing he made his way to my car and hopped in the passenger seat. I gave him a lopsided smirk as I drummed the steering wheel with my fingers. "So, you ready?" I asked, nonchalantly. "Yup," Adam replied, popping the "P". With that, I drove off in the direction of the mall.

CLARE's POV.

Silence. That's what welcomed me when I woke up. Propping myself on my elbows I looked around me, realizing Eli wasn't here. Slowly, I made to get up when I felt something under my hand. Looking down, I saw a small folded piece of paper. I picked it up and read it.

Clare, I went to the mall with Adam for some guy time. Call me or Adam if you need anything, okay, Blue Eyes?

Love, Eli

Sighing, I placed the note back down, gazing at the black ceiling above me. What was I going to do? I considered calling Alli, but I didn't necessarily want to hear about her latest guy-drama. I know, I might sound like a bad friend, but as a girl who was recently prescribed pills to boost her happiness and ease her stress, I wasn't sure if I was ready to take on another problem.

Honestly, I wished CeCe was here because she would know what to do. Unfortunately, Cece was with Bullfrog going to some Radio convention thing. I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palm. Being alone…felt horrible. I wasn't as anxious as I used to be; these pills were doing what they were supposed to do. Though, it didn't change the fact that being without Eli, or without anyone really, sickened me to my very core. My own fear, also known as Monophobia, ate away at my sanity, and shredded my independence into microscopic pieces.

I had to fight hard to get everything back, to get myself back, but I was scared. Terribly, completely, and undeniably scared. It was just so incredibly hard to move past that night. Does anyone really think I want to be like this? Holing myself up in my own fears and anti-socialism? No. I want to be normal. I want to move on. But these invisible hands and my own damn self keep pulling me back into that memory I wish I didn't have to relive. I felt the bile rise up into my throat at the thought that it was only me that was holding myself back from moving on. I was at fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. It was me who caused my parents to fight non-stop, it was me who could have done something to change what happened that night, and it was me who was in the way of fully recovering. My Fault.

Before I could stop it, I felt my guilt spew out of me in the form of vomit. Guilt-ridden, remorseful vomit. Sitting there for god knows how long, I stared at the mess in front of me, breathing raggedly and heavily. No matter what I tried to do to stop it, I had to face it. I was becoming undone. The fake shell of normalcy I created broke into pieces, and everything that lay beneath it flooded free, a swarm of all my negativity. Everything that was wrong with me. Oh, god. I twisted my hands into my hair, and I screamed. Really screamed, It was an angst-ridden, tortured, agonized scream that left my body before I could control it.

I was a fucking mess. How the hell was I ever going to get over this? An answer appeared in my head before what was left of my rationality could shoo it away. Pain. Robotically, I got up and headed towards the bathroom. I looked around, before finally spotting what it was I wanted. A razor. Grabbing it off of the ledge of the sink, I slid down to the luminescent linoleum floor, clutching it in my hands. Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I sent Eli one text before submitting myself to my own way of releasing the guilt and anguish swirling inside of me.

I'm sorry.

Eli's POV.

We had just finished the movie when Adam suggested we go get some of that awesome ice cream he had been dying to try since Drew had brought it home once from a date. He was wild-eyed and hyper, as he always is after he sees something completely epic. Walking through the parking lot, it seemed like forever until we found out where Morty was parked.

It seemed kind of silly that we couldn't spot a hearse among the cars. Well, there was a lot of cars. I put the little bag I was carrying in the backseat before sliding into the driver seat. It was something I had got for Clare. No, it wasn't an engagement ring, no matter how many times Adam had asked or insisted it was. It was a promise ring, though different from the one Clare had worn before she lost her virginity.

A Beautiful rose-gold band, with two moderate sized blue Topaz jewels glittering besides one another. The moment I saw it, I Knew that was the one for my Clare. It resembled her brilliant blue orbs, the ones I got completely lost in, and I could not pass up purchasing it. I just hoped that she loved it. Engraved on the back of the ring was,

Clare, Promise me you'll be mine forever.

And that's exactly what I wanted, for her to be with me forever. Dammit, I loved this girl with every fiber of my being. I decided that I would call her to tell her I was on my way home so we could all hang out, so I pulled out my phone. Looking down at it, I saw that I had one missed alert. It was from Clare. Opening it, I felt my heart jump into my throat as I read it.

Clare3: I'm sorry.

What could she possibly mean? What did she have to be sorry for? Her text sounded so… final. Then it clicked in my head. Final. Oh, god, oh shit. I felt the color drain from my face, and Adam noticed it.

"Eli, what's up?" He asked, his brow furrowing in concern.

I felt fear and nervousness block my throat, hindering me from speaking. I handed him the phone, and he immediately knew why I was so tense. "Oh, fuck.." he mumbled softly. Suddenly, his face lit up with determination. "Well drive, Eli, for fuck's sake!" I came back down to earth as he said this, and nodded. Quickly, I started up the car and sped off towards my house., as Adam called for an ambulance. I only hoped we weren't too late.

Stay with me, Clare.

Stay with me, Blue Eyes.

Wow. I can't believe this story is already in its 7th chapter. Holy damn! I hope to update in the next week or so, this story is addicting to write. Anyways! Tell me what you think! Review after you read, peeps! It makes me very happy! Thanks in advance,

~~Beccky