THE WAR INSIDE MY HEAD

Thanks for all the lovely reviews on the last chapter. I really love that everyone loved Toby's hissing at Mycroft. It was one of my favorite parts, too!

I thought since it doesn't seem like I"m gonna get to update Pas de deux by the new year (mostly because I have to be at work in the morning and my brain is just too on the Sherlock is coming back horse for anything else/I have a focusing problem sometimes haha), I would get to editing another chapter. :D

So this is my little gift for you entering the New Year. :D

I'm so excited for The Empty Hearse tomorrow/today depending on what timezone you're in!

I hope you enjoy it.

much love,

day

12.

Molly tried to hide her smile as Toby tried to leap out of her arms to attack the long legs of the only consulting detective. He wasn't that far away from her but he didn't move to get closer to her. He was currently glaring at his brother.

"Molly." He stated after a few minutes - his head turned slightly as he looked at her.

She looked up to catch his gaze. She couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling for that matter but she gave him a short smile.

"Mycroft, don't you dare do this again," Sherlock warned, his voice almost raging with disgust.

Mycroft shot an accusing glare at Anthea, but before he could reprimand her, Irene spoke up.

"No, I told him. Not Anthea's fault."

Mycroft shot her a puzzled face, as if to ask why.

Irene rolled her eyes and continued explaining, "Oh you saw the sad state he was in. Sure, we are almost done destroying the network but look how distracted he always was. It's the only way, she needs in." Irene gave a small shrug.

The look of surprise of nearly everyone's faces in the room apart from Anthea who obviously knew about this ploy, was interesting to say the least. It was Molly Hooper who spoke before Sherlock could begin to dissect any of the things that the Woman said.

"Thank you. I don't understand why you're doing this but." Molly fell short there, really not sure of what else she could say. This whole situation was strange. Lots of unexpected things were happening. She had a feeling this wasn't the end of it.

Irene gave her a grimace of a smile as she turned her attention back to Sherlock, "Go on then, I was getting annoyed of your moping. You're lucky I actually like Doctor Hooper."

Sherlock strode forward towards Molly, trying really hard not to say something ugly towards the dominatrix. She was testing his patience. He was almost grateful for the card she played here however.

Sherlock took Molly's hand and lean in to place a kiss on her cheek, then whisper in her ear, "Let's go someplace private". They walked out of the warehouse silently, hand in hand; their love loud enough for everyone else to witness.

Molly stopped a few steps before the door, turning back to Irene and said, "I was wrong. You have a heart."

The Woman mouthed a small thank you and smirked satisfyingly at the petite woman. Molly returned a genuine smile and left with Sherlock.

As the door shut, Mycroft return his glare upon the Woman.

"That was not necessary, Miss Adler."

"Neither was this."

He furrowed his eyebrows and sighed in exasperation. Irene cocked her head to the side and shook it disapprovingly.

"Trust him a little, Mycroft. He is an adult, he is not stupid. You don't have to worry about him all the time."

Mycroft's face fell to a remorseful expression, but he was still too proud to admit to her words.

"Fine."

He walked to the car to make his departure.

When Anthea joined Mycroft in the car, she did her best not to show how she really felt back there. It had always been the two of them and to betray someone's trust even for something pure and good as this was something that twisted in her gut a little. She watched him after they started moving away from the warehouse.

There was another car pulling out as well. It held their third member of this little organization; Irene Adler. She knew all the things he hated to admit about the woman and her affiliations with her in the past but she couldn't just leave this like this. Mostly because he had done much for her already.

"Mycroft, I am sorry. You trust me or maybe you do a little less right now. I just am really sorry for doing that. Your brother is a little bit less of a nuance when he is around the people he loves."

"And you believe that is Molly Hooper?"

"Well, I think that's a bit obvious now, don't you think?"

This was the longest time that he had seen her without touching her mobile. It was buzzing as always, placed next to her. This meant something to her. Anthea did feel like most people and he had never held it against her. The only nice thing about her is that she didn't cry often in front of him but there was glimmers of unshed tears in her eyes.

"It's fine, Anthea." He told her after silence had taken over the both of them for some time.

X

"When did you get back?" Molly asked him once they had ducked into an alley and were making their way through backstreets.

She wasn't sure where they were going but she was happy to be near him again. His hand seemed to overwhelm hers as he pulled her along knowing exactly how to navigate the streets.

"A few hours. Heard about your flat before it registered in my mind that Mycroft was also here. You left Bart's in one of the cars with Anthea. He's a bit obvious about things even if no one really notices."

"Did you go to check on me?"

"I didn't think you'd stay there. No one likes to be cold and wet and then I remembered about your spare change of clothes you kept at the office. So I headed that way before I got a text from Irene through Anthea."

Molly nodded as she jumped over a rather large puddle of muddy water assisted by Sherlock. They were getting farther away from the city. Soon she found herself sitting on a rather large hill overlooking the city; the London Eye was visible. It was nice; she had never seen it from the view before.

Sherlock urged Molly to join him as he settled down on one of the benches of the hill overlooking the view that had captured Molly's attention. She tentatively joined him on the bench, her eyes finding it hard to tear away from the overwhelming view before her.

As Molly sat on his left, he placed a kiss on her right temple and fell silent. She looked at him with gentle eyes, trying to process his existence and struggling not to think about his departure. Sure, Irene granted her to join them but at what cost? She had never wanted to know what he did. She had never asked. She was only standing by to assist if he needed moral support or medical aid.

However, here she sat beside him looking over the scenery that was so breathtakingly beautiful that she felt bleak in comparison. She had questions; lots of questions and Sherlock seemed to notice that.

"Ask." He whispered as he angled his body towards her letting her know that he was there to listen.

"What am I supposed to do? I'm back by your side again but there are more players involved now. I don't understand what my part is here." Molly let out a sigh. This day was slowly coming to an end and the only good part of it was this right here.

Sherlock turn to face her confused stare, his own eyes soft and gentle. He had never felt so at peace, not since ten months ago. He took her hand then said in his smooth baritone voice, "You have always done your part. You simply failed to register just how important you are... This time I am a little more selfish to want you by my side."

Molly blushed at the tender sincerity in his word, and then asked "What have I done?"

"You saved me, Molly Hooper."

Molly turned away from him not wanting to let him see how affected she was by his words. It meant a lot to know that she did matter. She counted in a way that she never knew possible. Or maybe she did, she just didn't think it would ever be verbalized unless a screaming match was involved. She focused back on him after a moment, her eyes shining as tears flowed down her face. Sherlock looked befuddled as to what he should do in this situation, only to watch her let out a giggle which turned into a laugh.

"You have no clue do you, Sherlock Holmes?" He raised his eyebrows at her clearly not seeing what she wanted him to. "You ridiculously brilliant man, I just wanted you to say it. I…I hoped that you would understand what I was doing for you despite everything that could happen. The backlash, the anger - everything." When Molly was sure she was going to have so go that extra mile and speak more truth Sherlock caught her by the lips stilling her, quieting her.

Molly let his lips melt onto hers, their kisses slowly turning into the passion. The sun was beginning to rise from the corner of their eyes. Sherlock's hand crept up to cup her face. Molly could feel how protective that grip was; as if to never let her go. Her lips curled at that, making him grip a little tighter, leaving her almost breathless. He liked it when she smiled as they kissed. Her smile warms his heart, more than ever a rising sun could warm a person.

Sherlock pulled away from her reluctantly. He didn't move away completely. He left one hand against her cheek, slowly caressing it with a smile on his face. "Meow." Sherlock chuckled at the feline who had been circling them while they were otherwise occupied. He was trying to take on a form of a fierce guard kitty if one ever such existed. Sherlock turned away from Molly for a moment and reached his hand out awkwardly as he tried to get Toby to come over to him. He looked up at the lanky human who had his arm around his owner and slowly made his way over to the hand and brushing up against it a few times before he licked him. Molly watched the two "males" interact. She took this as a good omen that the two were behaving nicely. Toby soon was curled up in Sherlock's lap while the older gentleman was petting him.

"This is nice and all. The sentiment of it all, the scene is one out of one those horrid rom coms but I think it's time that this ends."

It wasn't a familiar voice to either of them but it didn't mean that the words coming from him was any less threatening. Sherlock was quick to shove the feline at his owner before settling himself in a defense position in order to cover her from this menace. He looked up at this newcomer with a look of irritation for interrupting the bliss that had fell over them but there was an edge in his eyes that clearly spoke, "PROTECT."

Molly felt her heart stop when she heard a bullet. Everything happened so fast. She felt Sherlock pushing her down to lay low and out of harms, while trying to drag her out of the way as the man fished out his gun from his back pocket. There was a moment when he moved from her side, it was quick like lightning.

She heard a thud as Sherlock tackled the man as the gun went off. Her eyes were closed as she let out a scream at the chilling sound as she curled in tighter to a fetal position. Her first thought of that millisecond was that Sherlock was dead, this time for real.

She couldn't open her eyes. She didn't want to see it. She thought the first time had been hard but this was tremendously worse. She didn't know how she was supposed to move from this spot, she felt numb as if she didn't know how to properly act. When guns were involved all bets were off. She knew that. It was Toby's incessant whining that made Molly reluctantly pretend that she was living. She looked down at the feline, and then over to the two men splayed on the ground.

She moved at a snail's pace from off the ground in her tight curl and gravitated over to them. She saw the man first. He was withering away. Sherlock had shot him. She almost sighed in relief but she felt no remorse for this. So with as much strength as possible she pressed the heels of her foot on his shoulder over and over again, stomping on him. He deserved this for what he did. Molly was trembling but the sudden touch of someone grasping her had her fully alert. She stood there, still as a rock not sure what she was supposed to do. She had a cat (her cat) in her hands and she was very afraid.

Sherlock pulled her away from the now-stilled stranger. She was wild, manic terror filled her eyes. His heart shattered at that, knowing that he was part of the reason for her slight appearance of insanity. Something about his departure triggered her dark side and now she had attempted to hurt another being.

"Molly, snap out of it now," he commanded as he watched her eyes clear up.

Shock began to enter her system. She started to realize her deed as her tears sprung out involuntarily. Molly latched on him without a second thought, her arms caging around him as he told her to breathe and that it would be okay. He was never one for comfort but his heart ached at the feel of her sobbing into his shoulder as she spoke in broken sentences. "You…dead…not…okay."

He was quick to pull back just a little as he cupped her cheeks. "I wasn't shot. I am here with you. We're going to be fine. Just fine, Molly. Stop thinking and breathe for me."

He continued to speak to her and wipe the tears from her eyes as her sobs slowly descended down to little hiccups and sniffles. He pulled her back towards him, holding her tightly in his arms. Her arms still around him like a vice. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head as he shut his eyes. When would this stop? This madness. He wanted it to end. He was making her suffer. He wanted it to just stop.

Sherlock whispered to her ears as she sobbed, "Let's get out of here."

She nodded slowly and allowed his hands to lead her away from the now fully lit hill to the streets, where he hailed a taxi. Sherlock sped off a couple texts while he was at it and hurried both of them and Toby into the car. Her tears dissipated, but her shock remained. Molly still could not believe she became a monster before him.

Was this how he felt before?

How does she snap out of it?

Could she even do that?

Molly stared over to him and was surprised to see him staring at her looking a bit conflicted. She wanted to relieve him of the bad parts she was sure he was feeling after seeing her act in such a violent manner. The problem was that she wasn't sure if she knew if it would be easy. She settled for placing her head on his shoulder and letting his arm go around her while she whispered, "I'm sorry."

"What for?" Sherlock asked coldly, though a hint of concern lingered in the question.

"For being a monster," Molly simply stated, her voice numb off feelings.

Sherlock looked at her with a pair of knowing eyes, all these were too familiar for him to ignore. He recalled the extremely raw memory about that night with Sebastian Moran. He remembered how she dealt with him, and how he probably couldn't be with her. But he tried anyway.

"I don't care if you are a monster. At least you are MY monster."

Molly didn't know what she wanted more right now. To cry over what he said, or kiss him. She settled for a little bit of both. Pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, whimpering as she pulled away.

"I don't know why you are going so far for me but thank you."

He knew that she was trying not to say I love you because she thought it would scare him or make him run away but he didn't come back to do more running. He meant what he said. He wanted all of her, even the more than unkind parts. She had done that for him. He'd be a moron just to push her away. This was more than that. He needed her just as much she needed him right now. So, he was the one who said it. "Think of it as me giving you all of the love you've ever wanted plus interest."

Molly just chuckled at that.

A beep came from Sherlock's phone as she chuckled. He took a quick glance then ordered the taxi another location. Right, her house probably needed some time to repair.

Toby mewed with utter confusion at the situation. Sherlock smiled at that, settling into the comfortable silence between them two. Molly stroked Toby as she voiced out the plan, "We shall settle you into the new temporary house, then I'm off to work." Sherlock just grinned at the word, "We".

There was a place near the outskirts of London that Sherlock had found shortly after his death. It was a safe area and there wasn't many people lurking around. It was about the same kind of place a copper would scope out to spy on a suspect. There sitting by the doorsteps of the building was a younger boy in his teens. "Wiggins, what do you have for me?"

The blond whose mane was concealing the better part of his face, visibly swallowed the piece of bread he was eating and stumbled to his feet. "Morning to you sir and the pretty lady." He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, folded up and handed it over to him. Sherlock looked at it briefly before nodding.

Molly stared up at the detective, her eyes puzzled and confused. "What did the note say?" she asked as she bit her lower lip. Her brown eyes had cleared of any remnant of the previous incident. Toby had sped off into the building, leaving the pair strolling their way the feline had set for them.

Sherlock looked down at her, his gaze knowing. He took her hand in his and smiled. Sherlock stayed quiet with just the smile on his face as they walked into Molly's temporary home. It was theirs, technically but more so for her since he didn't necessarily need a place of residency. It was still good to have a place to stay. "Nothing. It's nothing really that important." Molly gave him a hard glare, which only made him, laugh at her. "No, I'll tell you just let me get you settled first."

Molly stepped into the house and gasped. The house was grand inside; every piece of furniture almost in pristine condition. She could see that some of the walls were still freshly painted. Her stunned face sought out Sherlock's, but all she saw were a pair of furrowed brows knitted together with displeasure. "Mycroft is being obvious," he spoke, his eyes glancing down to her. She raised an eyebrow at that, then slowly release his hand as she realized.

Molly rolled her eyes and started to walk around the place trying to get a feel for what she was getting into. This wasn't just a temporary home. It was a bit more than that. She didn't know a lot of the things that were in this place but she didn't mind what she found when she went to the only bedroom in the place and opened a set of large doors that led into a walk in closet. There were so many clothes. Lots of lavish dresses and skirts that wouldn't look too flashy on her. She could thank him for that if anything at all. It was only as she was exiting out of it that she remembered she still wanted to know was in the note. So she called for him. The place was rather huge and she hadn't heard him following her.

"Sherlock, where are you?"

Sherlock appeared at the hallway with Toby in his hands. Molly smiled at that sight, knowing that Sherlock had deliberately went to look for the cat. She walked towards him, her hair waving in her bouncy steps. He smiled at how the daylight caught her face as she walked the distance to him. She looked positively ravishing. She took Toby from him, and then repeated the question from earlier.

Sherlock and Molly sat down on the couch in the sitting room and then he began explaining.