YIKES! Sorry for not updating sooner, folks! I had to attend to several things, as my dog recently passed away. ): Anyways, This chapter is going to focus more on Clare's mind and how she feels about what she's done(which you'll find out in this chapter. Soo, I've decided to switch this chapter back to third person, as it fits what I've written. I hope you all like it!

Wish someone would tell me I'm fine.

Nothing's alright, nothing's fine.

-Papa Roach

Sirens. That's all Clare could vaguely hear as she lay slumped against the wall in her bathroom. That's all her body allowed her to acknowledge, save for the fluorescent lights blinding her, before she slipped into unconsciousness.

She didn't care that her white capris were stained from her own blood pooling beneath her. The release; that's the only thing she wanted to achieve. The feeling of pure bliss, pain fading as you slip away from the source causing it. Serenity. This is what the great and holy Clare Edwards has fallen to; committing sins against her religion, being tainted by impurity, and destroying everything she believed in…including herself.

Was it ridiculous for her to resort to this solution, that suicide would fix everything? Of course, she didn't think so, otherwise she wouldn't be in this situation. What would Eli think of her now? Mom, Dad? Alli? Adam? Why the hell should she care? They weren't suffering from this agony toiling inside them, she was.

It was incredibly stupid of her to think that somebody that doesn't even know her, just because they have a degree, could fix her. She was beyond repair. Couldn't everyone see that? In her mind, Clare did nothing wrong. Her suicide would give benefits to everyone's lives. Mom and Dad would have almost nothing to argue about, Alli could go on and make new friends without being held back, Adam could spsend more time with Eli without the worries of intruding on Date Night, and well, Eli… Eli could find someone that could truly make him happy. Someone that wasn't boring, complicated, and annoying just like her. That seemed like more than enough reasons to do what she did.

Though, she hadn't completed it. Here she was, still breathing, albeit slowly. No matter how badly she wanted it, life just seemed to want her to continue to suffer. Hell, she couldn't even die properly. How she managed to get perfect grades was unknown to her. If she was able to, she would've laughed. Being stuck in unconsciousness sucked.

What the hell was she supposed to do, some predictable thing, like pulling a Scrooge and relaying how her suicide would affect her past, present and future? No. That was just idiotic. She already knew how it would affect everyone so there was simply no point in rehashing the details. Clare only hoped that Eli would try to respect her decision, and not try to play the hero by rescuing her.

She didn't want to be rescued. Clare wasn't a princess, so she didn't need a fairytale ending. As she lay there in semi-unconsciousness, the only regret that came to her mind was that she would not have the chance to have children. Which was devastating, because Clare had always wanted to be a mother.

The option of being able to give her child the easy life she never had was one she'd take in a heartbeat. Of course, she couldn't do that if she was dead. What if she had had a child in the future and attempted suicide then? Leaving her child alone with the father, which would have been Eli, to grieve. She couldn't do that. So, it was good she chose now, for she had nothing to worry about except breaking Eli's heart.

Which, she was sure he'd get over eventually. Because, Clare Edwards wasn't that special. She was just another Plain Jane mixed in with the truly beautiful and unique girls. She was nothing compared to Alli, even Darcy. Feeling herself begrudgingly come back to earth, she squinted open her eyes reluctantly. God, it was real. She wasn't dead. Unless, the Afterlife was playing some sick joke on her, and instead of going to Heaven, she was stuck reliving her last moments eternally. Nope. Yet again, the obnoxiously loud sound of sirens invaded her eardrums, and had she had enough energy, she would've winced. God. Damnit. Did Eli figure her out? Because the sirens abruptly stopped, and the shouting she heard outside sounded awfully close to her house. Shit, who was she kidding? Eli wasn't stupid. Of course he figured it out, he could see through her like glass. Leave it to Eli to keep her from doing something stupid, even if she desperately wanted to.

Well, it was her own fault for picking someone stubborn and smart. As she heard the vague sound of her door being broken into, Clare shut her eyes slowly in defeat. The blood was still pouring out of her wrists, so she would just let everyone think that she was unconscious. She didn't want to see Eli's face right now. She was pretty sure that it would be filled with worry, angst, and anger. The loud thumping of footsteps stormed up the stairs leading to her bedroom. They stopped briefly, before a loud crash rang through the air, and the lock to her bathroom door busted open.

"Oh, shit," she heard someone say, "Someone get me a stretcher and some gauze to stop the bleeding, stat!", presumably an EMT. Someone, no two someones, could be heard forcing their way into the room, and two panicked-sounding "Clare!"s filled the room. Clare felt a gust of wind blow on her as the two embodiments of the voices ran towards her. She felt a calloused hand and cool metal caress her face.

"Oh, Clare" the owner of the hand whispered sadly. Suddenly, she felt herself being lifted off the ground and onto what she presumed to be a stretcher. Voices were talking all around her, and she barely heard Adam's speaking to her parents on his phone. Eli's hand held hers the whole time as she felt herself being lifted into an ambulance. His lips lightly brushed her temple, and she felt his warm breath tickle her ear as he whispered, "I want answers when you are all taken care of, Clare-Bear." She let herself acknowledge the worry laced with slight anger in his voice, before fully and willingly succumbing to darkness.

Thanks for reading, everyone! Hope you all liked it! Don't hesitate to let me know! Haha. Hope everyone had a great weekend, and will be updating soon. TaTa for now,

Beccky~~~~