The moment I enter the room, my eyes find Lucy. She's sitting behind a long metal table wearing a blue jumpsuit and looks absolutely miserable. Her brown hair, normally long, shiny, and styled is mousy and dull. This is the first time I'm seeing her without makeup and it occurs to me suddenly that while my wife is a natural beauty who doesn't need to paint her face to look breathtaking, Lucy is of a different type. She's not ugly by any means—any man would agree with me—but it's obvious just how much effort she's put into her looks. I know later on I'm going to have to face the alarm bells that are ringing in my head over this realization, but now is not the time.

"Christian!" Lucy exclaims in relief, water filling her big blue eyes. She tries to stand, but the clanging of chains reminds both of us where we are and that she's apparently tethered to the table. Her lower lip quivers as she watches me. I do everything possible to keep my expression neutral, knowing without a doubt Ana is in the next room watching my every move with her critical eye. Not only that, but I don't want to start out this conversation with hostility. I'll build up to the hostility. "Christian, this is all a misunderstanding! You have to get me out of here."

So much for building up... "Get you out of here?" I growl, remaining rooted beside the door. "Lucy, you fucking kidnapped my son with the intention of leaving the country with him! Why the fuck would I do anything to help you?"

Her eyes widen. I've never taken this tone with her, never gotten angry with her. "I did it for us," she whispers. "I thought..."

I can't help but wonder when she turned psychotic. Was it when I ended things between us initially? Was it when I forced her to leave my room in Germany? "For us..." I repeat dumbly. "Lucy, there is no us. Not now. Not ever again. It's over. If you would have listened to me the last two times I tried to tell you that, we wouldn't be in this mess right now. What do I have to do?"

She looks as though I've crushed her. Which, granted, I may have done. Nevertheless, I need this to end right here, right now. "Christian, you can deny all you want," she tells me. She's managed to rein in her emotions enough to at least sound like the Lucy I thought I knew. "But what we had was real. You were miserable. I made you happy. All those nights you came to me because you were fighting with your wife," my eyes reflexively dart towards the two-way mirror behind which Ana is standing, "you wanted me to make you forget and I did."

My eyes close against her words, however true they might be. "I was wrong," I tell Lucy hoarsely, hoping to god Ana is still watching and listening. "What you and I did... It never should have happened. I can blame any number of things, but when it comes down to it, Lucy, I was weak and I thought I needed something outside my marriage. I thought my wife was getting ready to leave me before I even met you. I went on the defensive with the reasoning that if things were going to end, they would end on my terms." I'm barely hearing the words as they leave my mouth, but the moment they're out there, I realize this is the most honest I've been about my marriage in years. And I hate that I'm doing this because I'm standing in front of Lucy. Maybe this is best, though; I couldn't ever say these things to Ana directly, and I know she doesn't want to hear them in this way, but it all needs to be said. "It's no excuse and all I did was hurt the person who means the most to me in the world."

Lucy's eyes widen and I swear she's about to start laughing. "The person who means the most to you?" she asks in a mocking tone I've heard before. Not until now did he find the tone to be harsh and cold. "If she meant the most to you, then why the hell were you running to me all those nights when you fought with her? Tell me that."

"I don't have to tell you anything," I respond coldly. "I don't even fucking know why I'm here."

"Because you can't stay away," Lucy says, a little smile appearing on her face. "Because after all those nights you ran to me and we stayed up talking about your marriage and our future together, you realize I'm what you want and what you need. That you love me."

I'm pretty sure my heart has never beat this hard or fast in my life. "I don't love you," I spit out. "Maybe I thought I did at one point, but that time has passed, Lucy. I told you dozens of times that my son was off limits to you. You didn't listen. Instead you twist everything around and make it seem as though this was the plan all along. Let me make something very plain to you," I take a few minute steps forward, "you are nothing to me. At most, I pity you. I'm sorry if I played a part in this mental breakdown you seem to have had, but there is no way I'm ever going to forgive this. Yes, there were discussions about what might happen should my marriage end. I was grieving what I thought I'd lost and trying to find a way to save myself. I've done some pretty selfish things in my life, but none of them compare to the things you and I have done."

The shocked, hurt look on her face fades into the much more familiar seduction smile. "I wouldn't say it was all selfish, Christian," she practically purrs. That tone used to make me hard in an instant; now it's like nails on chalkboard. "All those times you made me scream and beg you for more... You never left me unsatisfied. And I know goddamn well you always left very well satisfied yourself. We could have that again..."

A noise from the next room startles both me and Lucy, and I look at the two-way glass, wondering what is going on behind it. Taylor's probably got his work cut out for him right now. Actually, I'm a little surprised Ana hasn't gotten away from him yet... "No, Lucy, we can't," I answer severely. "You were a good fuck. I thought you could be more. But however much you might look or act like my wife, you could never be her."

Another niggling thought from the back of my mind makes its way through and I feel sick to my stomach suddenly. "How do you know Elena Lincoln?" I ask quietly, my eyes narrowing as I watch Lucy's expression closely.

And there it is: Panic. Nerves. It's the expression of somebody whose plan has just been figured out and is trying to find their way back to salvation. It all hits me like a tidal wave. Elena's involvement. Lucy's. I should have fucking seen it all from the beginning, but I've been blinded by my stupidity and my desperation to win back my wife. I stumble backwards until I hit the wall. "Well?" I demand.

She looks away from me, blinking rapidly for several moments until finally looking back at me. Gone is the confident woman I had known over the last year or so. All that remains is a broken, scared girl who so reminds me of Leila. The only thought in my mind is that I've destroyed yet another woman.

"I've known Elena for years," she whispers eventually. "She's an old family friend, much the same as you, I hear."

I ignore the bitterness in her voice. "So all this time you've been... what, plotting to break up my marriage?"

Lucy shakes her head despondently. "No. Or at least that's not how it started." She sighs heavily. "Christian, everything I feel for you is real. I am in love with you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I thought we were headed towards that at one point, but I started getting scared that you would end our relationship. Elena came around work one day when I was feeling particularly distracted and I'm sure you know she has a way of getting information out of people. Didn't take her long to find out what was on my mind. She told me she's known for years that your marriage wouldn't last, that your wife was only after your money, and that she's been trying to find a way to get you to see reason all along. She said she could help me and I was only too willing to accept that help."

If ever there was a moment that I would become physically ill in front of another person, this would be it. I subdue the urge, though. "You say you've known Elena for years," I say hoarsely, "but you don't know what a manipulator she is?"

"It didn't matter, Christian!" Lucy shouts. "She said she knew how to make you mine for good! I would have done anything, including selling my soul to the fucking devil." She gives a self-deprecating laugh. "Which, apparently, I did."

"What was her plan?" I ask, though I'm pretty sure I already know the answer.

Sniffing, Lucy blinks a few times. "She sent your wife a video of you and me together."

FUCK!

"After your wife left you, I thought I'd won. I waited for you to show up outside my apartment again. I waited to help you through whatever you needed. My desperation made me say some pretty horrible things to you—like going to the press with our affair. I never would have hurt you like that, though. The day you came to tell me it was over was the worst day of my life. I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to change your mind, but you were so set on trying to get back the wife who had no trouble throwing you aside and moving practically across the planet, taking your son with her. And I knew she couldn't have loved you the way I did: I never would have given you up, not for anything. What kind of stupidity does she possess to even consider leaving you?"

That's it... Before I can stop myself, I feel my fist connecting with the wall and I know I will need some sort of medical treatment once this is over. But it can wait. "If you ever call my wife stupid again, you will regret it," I threaten in a growl. "At least she has enough pride in herself that when someone she loves treats her like shit, she leaves. I've put her through so much shit since we've been together and even when I've broken her heart, she's still willing to give me a chance. She's a better person than either of us will ever be and she might not need me like I need her, but she is the only person I want for the rest of my life."

Lucy laughs harshly, but I see the tears welling up in her eyes. "Until the next time she doesn't measure up to your expectations," she replies. "She'll leave you again and you'll just chase after her like a fucking puppy. She must be a really good fuck if she's got you this well-trained. Here I thought you were some big, bad Dominant..."

"I've heard enough."

I didn't even hear the door open. When I look to my right, I find my wife standing beside me looking angrier than I've ever seen her—which, considering everything, is saying something. I almost want to step between her and Lucy to prevent whatever might happen next, but I don't think I want to be within striking range of Ana right now.

Ana sucks in a deep breath as she stares in disdain at my former mistress. "You know," she says calmly, "I've spent the last seven months imagining what you were like. Imagining what you and Christian were like together. Just the thought of you was enough to give me nightmares. But looking at you right now..." She shakes her head, a small smile on her face. It's a smile of triumph that I've never seen on her before. "You're pathetic. You can't go out and find a man of your own; you have to try and steal mine. Admittedly, it worked for a while. I thought you were going to win. For a while, I was more than prepared to let you, because I couldn't face being hurt anymore than I had been." She steps forward almost until she reaches the table. "I was prepared to let you win right up until the point that you touched my son." Lucy's eyes are locked on Ana, wide and fearful, as they should be. I can't see Ana from this angle, but the old adage about not getting between a mama bear and her cub comes to mind. "The only reason I'm not tearing you apart with my bare hands is because I have every intention of leaving here—with my husband—getting my son, and going home to Seattle. And I swear to god, if you ever get out of here and you come near any of us ever again, I will not have the same restraint."

The room is dead silent for several minutes. Ana and Lucy are staring at each other, clearly waiting for the other's next move. Ana makes a sound of disgust then turns to me. "Let's go," she tells me quietly. "She's not worth our time or attention."

Grasping my hand with the strength of a vise, she leads me out of the room where Taylor is leaning against a wall with a pained expression on his face. I don't have much time to take this in as my brain is still processing what just happened in the interrogation room. It's not until we're outside the police station and reaching the SUV that my brain finally starts functioning again.

"Ana, wait!" I say urgently, pulling on her hand until she stops. She turns on her heel to face me and the anger she had when confronting Lucy softens only marginally. I sigh, reaching out my free hand to touch her cheek. "Are you okay?"

She deflates, all her anger turning into exhaustion and hurt. "I'm fine," she lies. "I just want to get the fuck out of here."

I nod, tempting fate by resting my lips against her forehead briefly. "I think I can handle that..."

Our entire drive is a blur. I'm shaking uncontrollably, though whether it's from anger or hurt or something else, I'm not entirely sure. Hell, I don't even remember leaving Taylor in the little room where we'd been watching and listening to every word Christian and Lucy shared. The last thing I do remember is staring at my husband's face, watching all the different emotions play across his face and searching for anything that might betray his true feelings for the woman sitting across from him. At one point I thought I saw something in his eyes that I believed was only ever directed at me. It took a change of angle from where I was standing and actually listening to his words to realize it wasn't undying, unconditional love he was conveying to Lucy, but pity. There was absolutely nothing on his face to tell me he might still be in love with her—and there is no doubt in my mind that he was at one point in love with her. If I had seen something there, I would have left him in that police station with his whore. Taylor had already, reluctantly, agreed to at least getting me back to Teddy without Christian's knowledge. He couldn't guarantee anymore, so he said; I have the feeling if I'd really been determined to leave, he'd have seen me through to wherever I needed to go, regardless of his dedication to his boss.

Not that it matters anymore. We're currently speeding back to my apartment, having somehow survived the nightmare of a meeting with Lucy. Every time I glance at Christian out of the corner of my eye—I can't seem to look at him fully right now—he's looking back at me with a mixture of awe, sadness, and slight fear. I don't know what to say to him, especially after hearing some of the things I heard. Right now, I'm trying to focus on some of the things we both learned today: like how Elena was behind this entire thing. Elena sent me that fucking video, knowing exactly how I'd react. She wanted nothing more than to tear apart my marriage and she achieved exactly that. For a very brief moment, I actually felt sorry for Lucy, having learned she was nothing more than a pawn in Elena's game. We all were. That very brief moment was gone just as quickly when I reminded myself that Lucy and Christian were the reason Elena's plan was able to go on as long as it had. When it comes down to it, Elena's involvement, while integral to how the last several months has played out, doesn't change the fact that my husband betrayed me in a way only he could.

Then I'm reminded of his words. "I thought my wife was getting ready to leave me before I even met you. I went on the defensive with the reasoning that if things were going to end, they would on my terms." Typical Christian Grey and his desperate need to hold onto his precious control... I was right all along in thinking that he was preparing to end our marriage before I even saw that fucking video.

So what changed? The simple fact that I left first? I shook up his world when he thought he was in control and that suddenly changed every vantage point of his life. I have no idea where this leaves us. On the one hand, I want to crawl over, straddle his lap, and do any number of unmentionable things to him, despite being in full view of Taylor. On the other... Well, my reasons haven't changed all that much. I realize we're always going to come right back to my feelings of hurt and betrayal.

My stomach churns as I recall the little smile on Lucy's face when she talked about her and Christian being together. The images some of her statements brought to mind are ones I don't want in my head. I want to know what she and Christian talked about during "all those nights" they were together. How much did she know about me?

Even if Christian hadn't told her a thing, Elena was right there behind the scenes to coach her, my subconscious tells me. She knew Christian well enough to know exactly how to mold Lucy into the perfect seductress for him.

Shaking my head at myself, I glance over at Christian again, who is watching me. Still. I suddenly want clarification on a few things. "You thought I was going to leave you." It's more of a statement than a question, but I turn fully in my seat to watch his expression.

He's surprised at first that this is what I want to know, but that turns to reluctance. Finally he nods slightly. "Yes," he whispers.

"When did I ever give you that idea?" My voice is on the border of incredulity.

He raises an eyebrow at me as though it should be obvious. "I saw the surveillance footage of the day you packed bags for both yourself and Teddy," he explains quietly. "I watched you standing at the top of the stairs for nearly half an hour before you went back to the bedroom to put away your things."

I feel the blood draining from my face. I always thought he hadn't seen that—or maybe I was hoping. "You never said anything about it," I respond faintly. "At all."

With a shrug, Christian looks out the window. "Believe me, I wanted to. But at the same time, I was afraid I'd only push you away even farther than I already had. Things between us had gotten so strained that I wondered if it might have been best for you to have left. It would have given both of us some space to decide what we wanted. Back then, I knew exactly what would have happened if you'd left: I'd give you a day or so to yourself, then I'd come after you, begging you for forgiveness and telling you how much I needed you and wanted you and loved you. Instead of confronting you, I kept silent. I waited to see if you brought it up, but of course, you never did."

"I thought you didn't care," I hear myself admitting out loud. "Either you hadn't seen the security footage and were blissfully oblivious, or you had seen it and it didn't matter to you that I was preparing to leave."

"Didn't care?" he asks, looking almost genuinely offended. "Are you fucking kidding me? Ana, I cared! I spent the days, weeks, and months after that day terrified that I'd come home from work to find you gone! The problem wasn't some lack of caring or love; it was the fact that we both seemed to have given up on our marriage. And the day you actually left..." He blinks rapidly, looking away from me for several moments. "The only other time I ever felt like that was the last time you left. But this time it was so much worse, because I knew exactly what I'd lost this time and it was by my own doing that I felt that way."

"Fucking right it was," I mutter under my breath. Judging by the brief upturn of his lips, he heard. "You say you cared, but that happened months before you started with Lucy. You couldn't have cared too much, Christian, or we wouldn't be in this mess right now."

He looks as though I've slapped him across the face, which, admittedly, doesn't seem like a bad idea at the moment... "I know," he says simply. "Can I ask you something?"

It sounds like he believes he's pushing his luck, and he is, but now that we've got an open dialogue, I have every intention of taking advantage of it. "Yes."

Sucking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he asks, "Why did you change your mind about leaving that day? You could have grabbed Teddy and taken off, and I wouldn't have known about it for hours."

I sigh. "I changed my mind," I begin cautiously, trying to work through my thoughts, "because at the time I didn't think I could live without you, no matter how far apart we'd drifted from one another. I thought we might be able to salvage our marriage and work through our problems. Only problem being I had no idea where to start and every time I wanted to talk to you about it, you brushed me off."

He nods. I wonder if he already knew the answer to his question. "And now? You've shown you can live without me, but are we salvageable?"

"I don't know," I reply sadly. "We still have a lot of things to work through and I'm still not fully convinced you want our marriage for any other reason than you simply don't want to give it up. Honestly, Christian, the thing that hurts most isn't the affair as much as it's the fact that you went to other women to discuss our future together. I heard what you said to Lucy about the two of you fantasizing about what might happen if you and I divorced. How do you think that makes me feel? Especially considering I was fucking clueless until I got that video emailed to me."

"I don't know what to say that won't sound empty and meaningless to you," he tells me. "I've hurt you in ways that would absolutely destroy me if the roles were reversed, and yet they seem to have made you stronger. And this is probably the wrong thing to say right now, but I have never been more proud of you than I am right now for dealing with Lucy how you did. You were calm and just overall amazing."

I smile very slightly at this, having been rather proud of myself as well. Especially for my self-restraint. When I ditched Taylor, I had every intention to bursting into that room to beat the shit out of that woman. My breaking point had been her insulting Christian. The things she said that were aimed at me rankled a bit, but I could handle it, knowing she was trying to get a rise out of Christian and convince him of my continued flaws. As much as he's hurt me, apparently I still can't stand the thought of somebody else hurting him.

I'm completely drained right now. All I want is to curl up and sleep for the next twelve hours in an attempt to recover from everything that's happened. There's still one thing I need Christian to know, though, before I can shut down my brain. "You want to know my biggest fear?" I whisper, meeting his gaze. He nods warily. "It's that I'll end up like them—Leila and Elena and Lucy—so desperate for your love and affection that my entire sense of self is shattered. That one day you'll end our marriage for good and I'll have to watch you being happy with somebody else from afar. Because that is what the four of us all have or had in common; loving you is like a black hole. We throw ourselves into it without any hesitation and then one day we find ourselves lost and desperate to find stable ground again. I can't end up that way, Christian. It'll kill me."

The look on his face can only be described as tortured as he struggles to find some way to respond to that. "You won't end up that way," he tells me hoarsely. "You know why? It's because you are so much stronger than they are. Fuck, you're stronger than I am. You don't need me to get by, but I need you. Just like when you left me that first time, it's taken losing you to realize I can't be without you. It's more than not wanting to lose my marriage. I want you, Anastasia. I want to see you smile at me again and laugh with me or at me, whichever you prefer. I want to see you happy again and I want you to look at me like you once did—like there was nobody else in your world but me."

"In order to do any of that, I need to be able to trust you again, Christian," I respond, trying not to let him see how much his words are affecting me. "And right now, I don't trust you. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you again. I let you into my life, gave you everything I had and more, and you just threw it away like it never meant a goddamn thing to you."

"I'll regain your trust," he assures me with the confidence he's mastered over the years.

I don't respond to this. Inwardly hope starts to kindle and it's becoming easier to breathe. But at the same time, the cynical side of me is warning me that I've heard this before and it's only ever led to heartbreak. I push aside both, choosing instead to close my eyes and block out the entire world.