Chapter 11

Never did these words seem truer than at times like these, 'Officers Club; Enlisted Welcome'. I checked up on couple of my own patients before I signed their release. Their injuries were relatively minor and in case of more wounded, we needed as much space as we could. And sooner we had all our eggs in one basket, sooner the nursing staff's life got easier not to mention, my commute.

Major Woods was doing fine. His lung was expanded and he was mobile now, as ordered, despite his protests. I decided to wait till evening before clamping his chest tube to see how he fared. He could have been sent to Seoul by now, save for Frank's ten toes and their wonders. His mood was the same as yesterday. I wanted to see the showdown between him and Frank. That had only one disadvantage. Frank would flip because of my interference and Colonel Potter would feel all hurt because I did not honor his request. I hated to be a recipient of his almost sorrowfully disappointed manipulation. Especially when it was at least partly justfied.

Oh. well...

Figuring they would start from Post-op, I decided to go there and just play nice with Frank. That would light up his paranoia real fast. More power to me, I grinned to myself. Paranoid Frank was fun to watch!

"Hello, Captain Hunnicut!" I said quietly. He was finishing up his paper work. " Do you need help? I have already covered O-club for you. Two of mine are ready to go. And Major Thumbs' patient is doing well, thank you." I informed him, eliciting an indifferent glance. "You must remember him Beej. That major with an excellent bed-snide manner. He will give Frank a run for his money. And I don't wanna miss the first show. He was mad at his surgeon for sleeping while his patient needed more surgery. Ungrateful twit! Does not know the undisguised blessing Frank's sleep and my artistry brought him."

Finally! BJ smiled. I thought he had forgotten how to.

"You should have left him alone. He was not sure what infuriated him more, your presence or Frank's absence. And he was not happy at all when he was mobilized today. Said you used too much force in stitching and poking that hose-pipe into his chest."

"He is an idiot. Baker wanted me to leave him alone too. I wondered if she hated Woods more or loved me more? I think I will clamp his chest tube sometime later today."

" Frank won't let you near him. He is the surgeon of record."

"I am the surgeon of record, Frank is the bungler of record." I hardly kept myself from rolling my eyes. That was way too elementary school.

"I thought Potter asked you to lay off of Frank?" BJ smiled again. So Potter told him as well. No wonder he was so amused.

"How do you know? He told you? Or asked you to go easy on him as well?"

"Not really. He thinks Frank does not hate me. He would actually love me if I disown you. I believe Potter on this. You do have this ability to bring out the very worst in him. I envy you!" We both laughed at this.

"Hello Major Thumbs! Oops, top of the morning to you, Frank!" I said cheerfully, but the damage was done. I just forgot my promise. I decided to make up for that somehow. Except, my mind just did not know how to do that. I was drawing a complete blank! My mind was not used to such ludicrous demands.

"Good morning Major Burns!" Damn you BJ, he was hinting rather heavy-handedly. I just glared at him and gave him the infamous 'I KNOW' look.

"Good morning Cap'n Hunnicut."

I decided to try again, "Good Morning Major Burns". All that evoked was a a glare which, if Frank's eyes were not so beady, could have scorched me to my socks.

"Pierce!" Frank acknowledged me curtly. So far so good.

" How are you Frank?" Still trying to make nice. It was amusing how his eyes shifted at this unusual courtesy. His mind was at work, trying to figure out what I was up to, really.

"What is it Pierce? And its Major Burns to you! Is this your idea of a new joke? Trying to be nice so I let my guard down? Just wait! I am watching you. I have had enough of you and I swear I will not rest till I make you pay for every single thing that you have done to me."

Where was that coming from? I looked quizzically at BJ. He mouthed 'yellow shorts'.

Oops!

" Frank, I am sorry about your shorts. That was not the smartest idea we...I have had in a long time."

All that earned me was a pair of glares. Frank's I could take but BJ?

Ahhhh, for saying it was our idea. Alright, fine. It was my idea. But most other ideas were his too.

BJ, you scoundrel! Why was I always the one left holding the bag? His modesty was costing me a lot!

BJ started signing patients over to Frank. I just walked along. Hendricks was doing a lot better. But with Frank on watch...I decided to step aside to talk to the duty nurse.

There she was. O'Hara. But I silently thanked God Margaret was on duty as well. Of course she was! Now, she had to be on the same shift as Frank if only for professional reasons. With him at the helm, she was the only thing standing between patients and death. I felt sorry for her. And also admired her professionalism.

"Margaret! I need a favor." I tried to sound nice.

"Captain! Don't you ever ..." And all my niceness evaporated alongwith the goodwill I had mustered in last thirty seconds.

"Hold it Major! Let me finish. My patient, Private Hendricks, needs special attention. I want you to keep an eye on him personally. I also want you to call me, and not Major Burns in case he, my patient, needs me. I hope I have made myself clear. Now, you were saying...?" O'Hara just watched us wide eyed.

"Yes Captain. I will let you know if there is any need. Where will you be?"

"Just page me through the PA system. Don't waste time sending some much needed orderly to search for me."

"Alright. Now I would like to take over from night shift. Don't worry about Hendricks!"

I gave them a noncommittal smile and joined BJ and Frank. I decided not to tell Frank of my order to Margeret. His temper and ego could not take that kind of insult so early in his shift.

Next stop was O-Club. I let them both discuss patients while I let my mind wander.

That is, till we got to Major Woods.

Now I was attentive.

"He is my patient! He had no pneumothorax yesterday when I operated on him."

"Doctor, you operated on him on Wednesday." One of the nurses piped in, to her peril.

"Who asked you? Mind your own beeswax! So? Hunnicut? What happened? How did he get a pneumothorax? And why was I not informed?" Frank's temp was up. And I was sorta amused by the possibility of a showdown.

"Are you Major Burns?" The show begins. I could have cackled except...I could smell the blood!

"Yes, I am. I am your surgeon and am glad to inform you that you will have complete restoration of function in your arm and shoulder." Burns trying to charm someone. Woods was just a major. Or was he? I suddenly found something useful for Radar to do while he was wasting time over his paper-fetish..

"That...," Woods pointed towards me while BJ stayed quiet. I now knew what he was trying to do. If that was possible, he was trying to make himself separate from me. 'I will get you for this, Beej', I silently vowed to myself. "...Captain fixed something that you probably missed when you operated on me."

Frank looked at me with disbelief. Of course I never said that Frank screwed up. In all honesty, I did not think he did. OK, maybe I thought he did but I never said it aloud. Patient's pre-op CXR was not suggestive of any pulmonary injury. My guess was, Frank missed a small rent in pleura and underlying lung when he took care of overlying muscular and rib injury. It could have happened to anyone. Well, almost anyone!

I looked at the patient and Frank incredulously. I could not say that Frank had not screwed up either. I just did not know!

This was not going as planned.

"Major Burns, can you step aside for a minute?" I asked him politely.

"Why? You can say it in front of Major Woods. I know I did not screw up. So why did you put in a chest tube?"

"Because patient developed a pneumothorax. I found out yesterday afternoon!"

"Oh! Alright. Thank you Pierce!" That was a strange reaction. No tantrum, no smugness, no other display of emotion? But by that time, I had lost interest in any and all commotion that might have ensued. Maybe it was not such a great idea to begin with.

Major Woods pestered Frank for a minute or so till BJ politely asked 'Major Burns' to move along so he could get over with this.

I let them do their work and left O-Club. Shower seemed like a good idea. Suddenly, this small altercation and Frank's polite thank-you left me winded. I was feeling the exhaustion now. And then my stomach rumbled again. These were not hunger pangs. These cramps really hurt. I could brealy keep myself from doubling over.

P.S. Thanks for the reviews and messages. I 'preciate 'em!