Ann woke up to almost darkness, the kind that you can see shapes, but you can't quite make everything out. Fili and Kili were still sleeping, snoring loud as possible. Kili was half off the couch, totally defying gravity. Fili was laying on his back, arms and legs spread to look like a star, covers strewn all over the floor.
Ann was half under the coffee table, which she didn't realize until she sat up, and of course smashed her head against the table. She proceeded to immediately lay back down.
"Mother of an unborn orc." She clutched her head, narrowing her eyes. "Stupid thing, who put you there anyway?"
Ann rolled out from underneath it, and stood up, legs wobbly. She almost stepped on Fili, who she now realized she had been sleeping less than a foot from. "Fili actually looks like less of a sexist prick when he's asleep." Ann thought, and she bent over and pulled some of his covers over him.
She stumbled into the kitchen, suppressing a yawn, and squinted at the clock. It read five o'clock, approximately, Ann wasn't that great at reading time from clocks. The hour hand always got confused with the numbers. "Welp no use going to bed now." Ann muttered running a hand through her hair.
Ann creeped into the bathroom and looked into the tub. There was no shower head. Sighing Ann opened the cupboards and started looking for the towles.
There was no towels, not even a washrag. But there was a sewing kit.
Ann stuck her head out into the hall. There was dead silence. She held the needle out and let it fall. It sounded like a little tiny bell. Ann picked up the pin, and put it back in the sewing kit.
Ann tiptoed down the hallway, looking for the closet. There was one at the end of the hall. Though Ann wasn't sure about what was going to be in it. Ann paled, what if that was were he stored his clothes? No wait. Ann shook her head. There were dressers in Bilbo's room.
It turned out there was towels in it, and washrags. Ann reached for a green ones with little potatoes embroidered onto the end, when she saw a spider in the embroidery, sitting on the edge of the spud.
Ann's eyes widened and she slowly pulled her white knuckled fist out of the closet. quickly shutting the door, she raced to the other end of the hall. She slid down the wall, she sat for a moment, contemplating how mad Bilbo would be if she set his closet on fire.
Deciding against it, she stood up, or tried to.
Ann pushed herself off of the ground, and with a thud hit her head against the door knob.
With a thud she sat back down clutching her head, tears pooling at the edges of her eyes. When the pain settled to a dull thudding in the back of her head, she stood up, and grasped the doorknob.
Twisting the knob, she pulled on it. The door creaked open and revealed an musty smelling closet with towels.
"Score, don't have to go near the infested closet again." Ann grinned, and grabbed a couple of towels and proceeded to take a bath.
When she was out, dressed, and dry there was still no one up. "Why aren't they up?" Ann muttered. "What happened to an early start?"
Ann went to the fridge (or icebox thing?) and picked out some eggs, and bacon, that had a note on it that read something in all caps, ignoring it, (as she usually did rules) Ann started up the stove, set a pan on it, and started cooking it. Eventually Ann made some french toast, and porridge. She was on her second helping of eggs when Jane walked in, in all her bedhead glory.
"Don't eat everything chrissake." Jane hissed, eyes narrowed. "I'm hungry, and you can be sure that everyone else is too." Jane threw herself into the chair across from Ann and glared at her. Her expression was priceless.
"Ok, take these." Ann grinned. "I'll make you some stuff." She pushed the almost full plate of eggs, across the table, and walked to the stove.
"What're you doing up anyway?" Jane grumbled, her voice sounding a little less groggy. "It's five in the morning."
"Huh." Ann stared at the clock again. "I thought it was five an hour ago."
Jane snorted into her plate of food. "Wow so that's why you're dressed and showered."
Ann laughed. "It was like finding a needle in a haystack getting towels."
Ann brought porridge, and what was left of her, or er, Bombur's pound of bacon over to Jane.
Thorin walked in. He looked as if he had spent a while getting ready.
"Goodmorning." Ann watched as he seated himself next to Jane.
Thorin nodded at them.
There was a few moments of awkward silence. "Would you like anything?" Ann asked politely.
"Yes." Thorin looked as if he had been waiting for this. "Nine eggs, fried not poached. Mind you don't break them." He folded his hands and looked at Ann expectantly.
"Well, the eggs are in there, and the stove is right here." Ann said icily.
"Is anyone up yet?" Jane asked after she was done eating, and Thorin was at the stove.
"Nope, but Kili finally fell off the couch about ten minutes ago." Ann rolled her shoulders and tilted her neck.
"Finally wishing you would've slept in the bed?" Jane teased.
"Never." Ann raised her chin. "And I'm not talking to a traitor."
Jane snorted. "Well you just made one breakfast." She teased.
There was about a minute of silence before Ann stood up.
"Fine, I will continue to interact with you due to your incessant begging, but you have to go to town with me to get supplies."
Jane chuckled and shook her head. "Alright just give me a sec to get ready."
Ann looked over at Thorin. "We'll back in a bit."
Ann and Jane strolled back up the path to Bilbo's a half an hour later, laden with cloaks (Black for Jane, and bright blue for Ann) boots, nice leather ones that they had got half priced. A book that Jane bought, a bow a quiver full of arrows and a knife that Ann insisted she needed, and other necessities that Jane was sure that the dwarves would forget, such as chocolate (that was Ann) and some soap.
"That was productive." Ann said practically skipping along.
"And money draining, remind me how I was tricked into buying you three pounds of chocolate?" Jane rolled her eyes.
"Hah, it's cuz you're such a lovely sister." Ann smirked. "You were the one who bought a book 'for your younger brother.'" Ann snorted as Jane turned bright red.
"I need to learn how to read and write this language." Jane clutched her book to her chest.
"French took you a week of obsessive studying, and now you're fluent. You shouldn't even need that."
"Well so?"
"You could've just borrowed some books from Ori, did you see his pack? Overflowing with books." Ann smirked.
"Fine I'll do that too." Jane's eyes misted over as she reopened and continued to read her book.
They arrived to a chaos ridden house. Everything was being put back in order (or what the dwarves thought was order) and Balin was leaving a folded up contract on the mantle.
Ann sighed, and put it on his table top. "He won't dust his mantle as soon as he wakes up." She reasoned. "He's more likely to go and have a nice long smoke in his garden."
Balin sighed and nodded. "Too right, I'm afraid lass, but you two'll have to sign these to accompany us." He pulled out two lengthy pieces of paper.
"Did you spend all night writing these?" Ann looked at him in amazement.
"Aye, so watch for me asleep on my horse." Balin nodded and strode away.
"Jane I can't even read this." Ann turned to Jane, and held out her paper which was filled with dwarvish. But Jane was already poring over hers.
"I can, it's elementary m'dear Watson. Just like German."
Ann groaned. "Why can't anything be like Spanish?"
"The only bad thing is that we have to provide our own money…" Jane looked up nervously.
"Which we spent almost all of this morning." Ann nodded grimly. "How much've we got left?"
"About fifty gold each." Jane bit her lip.
"In the movie," Ann spoke in a low almost inaudible whisper. "they bet on Bilbo right? We'll use that."
"Oh, alright." Jane nodded looking a little more resolute.
"We go all out." Ann nodded "Glad that's settled then."
Ann strode into the kitchen to find Bombur glaring at Fili and Kili who were sitting at the table eating porridge nonchalantly.
"What's happened?" Ann sat down next to Fili.
"Bombur thinks we ate his bacon." Fili looked up, trying, and almost succeeding in sounding uncaring.
"Which we didn't, it was you two, because you were the first ones up." Kili glared at her.
"But two human girls combined couldn't eat all that!" Bombur rumbled, arms folded.
"It wasn't us though, it probably got eaten last night." Fili ground his teeth together.
"Why couldn't me and Jane eat of all of it?" Ann sat back and looked at the three stunned dwarves.
"So you and Jane ate it." Kili sounded disbelieving.
"Wrong, I ate it, along with four eggs, toast, and some muffins." Ann stood up. "And now I'm hungry again.
She strode over to the fridge and continued to make herself a second (quite large) breakfast. Fili was the only one who had managed to stay looking unimpressed as she scarfed it down, and strode from the room.
"I've eaten more." He scoffed.
"What do you mean?" Thorin growled.
Here they were halfway out of the shire, and Bilbo wasn't with them yet.
"We don't have our burglar." Dwalin said.
"Yet!" Ann shouted standing up on her pony.
"Ten gold says otherwise." Dwalin told her gruffly.
"Twenty says he'll come before we're out of this bit of woodland." Ann said imperiously.
"Thirty." Balin grinned at Ann. "Raise yours or no?"
"Fifty for the both the both of us." Jane nodded "Bilbo's going to come."
The dwarves and Ann started shouting bets at each other and soon, the last bit of woods were coming to an end.
"Hope you have enough gold." Fili said falling in line with her pony. "You made some pretty serious bets."
"I realize that." Ann grinned. "I don't know why you bet for him though, why did you?"
"You put all your money in." Fili looked away. "I didn't want you to be a loner."
"Or, you know that I'm amazing at betting, and you couldn't help but choose the winning side." Ann grinned and looked at her imaginary watch. "He'll come in five, four, three, two, one."
There was a moment of very awkward silence, then-
"Wait! Wait!"
Ann grinned and pulled her reigns in, and stopped, turning in her saddle to see Bilbo running towards them, his contract flapping in his hand.
"I've, I've signed it." Bilbo said, handing it to Balin.
"Everything seems to be in order." Balin barely glanced at the piece of paper before folding it and tucking it into his cloak. "Welcome, Mr. Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield."
Thorin looked unimpressed. "Give him a pony."
"What? No, no that's quite alright, I'm sure I'll be able to keep up on foot." Bilbo protested, but Oin and Nori lifted him onto a pony, and soon they were moving again.
"Ori, Oin, pay up!" Dori shouted good naturedly.
Soon the little pouches of gold were flying through the air, most were toward Ann, and Jane, though no one voiced any objections.
Ann watched as over the next ten seconds Thorin fell behind half the company to be aside her.
"I do believe that you just swindled my men." Thorin looked at Ann through slitted eyes.
"Ah, but it was all Jane's fault." Ann shrugged.
"Not so." Thorin's face was passive.
"Welp, then it was actually Dwalin, because he doubted Bilbo, which led me to believe that he needed a little less gold." Ann nodded.
Thorin sighed.
"You'll get used to the mindless blabbering soon." Jane said understandingly. "I know it's a little much at first."
"Hey, what? Mindless?" Ann objected.
"Yep." Fili patted her on the back. "The blabbering bit is true too."
"Thanks guys."
And with that, the adventure was underway.
The people of the world actually were sorta nice, for instance, the first few nights they stayed at inn's. Then after they got out of the shire, that's when things turned to really bad shit.
There was rain, and lots of it. Ann's cloak was soaked and Ann seriously doubted she would be dry anytime soon.
Then there was the fact that Ann's pony hated her. Ann had named it Fuath. She had already bucked her off twice, and Ann was getting real tired of getting caked mud from underneath her nails.
They were traveling along a beaten muddy path, that was right next to the river, so of course the river chose this day to start overflowing.
It was abrupt, Ann had to give it that. No one, really could looking back remember what caused it, although all tried. Fili claimed it was her looks. Jane claims it was a small animal running across the path. Ann however thought it was a fish from the lake, and that the horse was hungry. (But that might've been her.)
Fuath bolted to the side, into the river, taking Ann with her.
Needless to say Ann fell off Fuath immediately. Ann was smart enough to unlatch the saddle, and clutch onto the supplies, but, it was cold, and Ann was sorry to say that she froze up. It was too much like the dark oblivion that had overwhelmed her last time she had 'been swimming, also she hated being wet. A panic seized her lungs and Ann felt like she was going to cry soon.
Ann felt herself being pushed along by the currents, felt the things pulling her in, felt herself getting colder and colder. But it was more like a seventh sense, like when you know someone's watching you, that drained her of her energy. She was
She saw another splash, and a cascade of bubbles through darkening vision.
Someone was grabbing her arms, pulling her to the surface.
Ann broke the surface and immediately took huge breaths, the sudden oxygen searing her lungs.
Ann threw the saddle bag and her pack onto shore, she couldn't pull herself up though. Panic surged through her almost making her fall back in. But next thing she knew, Fili was there on the shore, offering his hand. Ann gripped it and Fili tugged. A bit too hard as Ann was pulled up stumbling.
"Thanks." Ann coughed, standing up. She grabbed her pack, and Fili grabbed the saddle bag, attaching it to his.
"You really are bad at swimming aren't you?" Thorin's reprimanding tone found Ann off guard.
"What the hell do you want me to say?" Water was dripping into Ann's eyes. "I suck at dealing with animals. My pony bolted into the river and got itself drowned. I got the luggage. So. You're. Welcome."
Thorin's eyebrows rose higher and higher through her tirade.
"What do you want me to do?" Ann took a step closer to Thorin (who hadn't might she add even gotten off of his horse.) "Not get the supplies? Well, might I add that you aren't the one half drowned." Ann stood and glared at Thorin. Thorin sighed and turned away.
"Get her a pony."
"You almost drowned yourself for supplies?" Fili hissed into Ann's ear, grabbing her right arm and leading her forcefully toward one of the supply horses.
"What was I supposed to do?" Ann tried to stop, but Fili's grip only tightened.
"You should've let go of our horse and saved yourself, everyone would've understood." Fili whisper-yelled at her, his grip tightening once again.
"Hey, Fili, let go-" Ann struggled, her arm was beginning to hurt.
"No, you need to find some common sense, because you obviously don't have any-"
"Fili let go, you're hurting me." Ann ripped her arm away, and clutched it, at this point it was throbbing, and Ann didn't handle pain that well.
Fili's face whitened. He let go, and his hand twitched as if he wanted to grab his own arm. Looked horrified at her he tried to apologize. "Ann I-"
"You've said enough." Ann wasn't looking at him, but walking to her new horse, she tried to hop in the saddle, but her arm throbbed painfully as soon as she tried to grip the reins.
"Alright, I'll just use my left hand then." Ann muttered through gritted teeth.
"Fili get back on your horse we have to keep going." Thorin shouted, and soon they were off again, with Fili sending nervous glances back at Ann every minute or so, and Ann at the back of the line.
Ann's eyes slitted as Jane talked to Fili for a couple of minutes before dropping back to talk to her.
"Hey are you alright?" Jane dropped back.
"I lost my knife."
"No, actually Fili has it." Jane looked at her with a dazed expression. "He wants to know why you bought a second one."
"Well that's because-"
"Where did you get this first dagger?" Jane looked at her confusedly. "Where have you kept it?"
"It's Fili's, he gave it to me." Ann glared at Fili's back. How dare he? Ann thought. How dare he play the I gave you something, now you have to give something (like forgiveness) in return.
"Well then isn't it yours now?" Jane said. "But I'm confused does he have the one you bought or the one he gave to you?"
"The one I bought."
"It looks sharper than I remember."
"Things can't look sharp Jane." Ann sighed.
"Well it does."
Ann stayed in the back of the company, and well into the next week. She was irritable whenever someone approached her during meal times (partly because she wasn't fully dry yet, as the unrelentless rain hadn't stopped.) But more so because Fili hadn't apologized to her yet. He knew he was in the wrong (he kept glancing at her as if she was china and constantly made moves to help her, which went against her feminine pride)
"Horrible weather, isn't it lass." Balin walked up to Ann, who was gathering sticks and the like to put in the fire.
"I hate the rain." Ann muttered "Always have always will."
"Why?" Balin bent down to grab from her a particularly large branch. "Is it because it's a reflection of your moods? Or because you hate being wet?" They walked for a bit, both gathering particularly large piles.
"I hate being wet." Ann grudgingly relented.
"What about your sulking hm?" Balin stopped. "Is it because you are wet, or is your pride hurt at being bucked into a stream?"
"Excuse me?" Ann stopped, she was taken aback at his straight forwardness.
"For what? Your behavior?" Balin's face was straight, though Ann rather thought he was enjoying himself.
"No, I haven't been sulking anyway."
"Oh yes you have lass. You've been doing almost as much brooding as Thorin."
"I do not brood." Ann opened her mouth to continue, but Balin just sighed.
"You're even more bullheaded than Jane told me." He muttered. "But that's a good thing, if you're going to be traveling with us, I don't know how to put this any simpler, but we are worried," Balin paused choosing his next words carefully "Fili especially."
"Fili yelled at me for almost drowning." Ann deadpanned. "I don't know why he's angry with me."
"He's not." Balin said gently "He's worried that you're angry with him."
And so he left her, wide mouthed in the clearing, holding a pile a sticks.
Ann stormed back to camp, they had stopped in a sort of mountainy cave ish thing. They were resting in an alcove. Ann was on the ledge below them, so she was visible to no one, but she could still hear them.
"So, you talked with Ann?" Fili was next to Balin.
"Yes, quite the fiery headed one you have there." Balin chuckled. "She reminds me of Frerin."
"Yes well, do I still have her ire?" Ann could just imagine Fili frowning impatiently.
"The whole world has her ire." Balin said vaguely. "As it is with all people with her temperament."
"What do you mean?"
"What I say."
"Balin you're not helping." Ann heard an angry huff.
"Neither am I hurting."
Ann almost smiled at Balin's evasiveness, she turned to walk up the path, and found a bunch of dry pine branches, needles and all. Ann grinned picked them up, and strode confidently to the camp. Everyone needs a little scare once and awhile. Including Fili, but he needed it more than most. To keep his ego from crushing him of course.
Ann wove through the dwarves (who had eaten dinner without her, jerks) and paused a moment only to through the wood strategically into the fire, so in a moment it would have the desired effect.
Ann sat down next to Fili, who looked cool and nonchalant. She gazed at the fire, and glanced at Fili every once and awhile, he would have to hurry if she was going to be able to-
"Sorry about that." Fili said at last.
"I don't know what to say." Ann shrugged. "Other than I can now do this." She pointed a finger at the fire. For a moment embarrassment flooded her cheeks, but the pine needles caught fire, making the flame jump higher and burn brighter for a moment before settling back down.
Fili gazed horror struck at the fire, most of the other dwarves were looking at her with emotions ranging from disbelief to confusion, all of them demanding an answer. Ann burst out into laughter.
"What is so funny?" Fili turned to her gasping in disbelief. "What if you lost control?"
"I put pine branches-" Ann gasped between laughter. "In the fire!"
Kili chuckled, and Jane who was sitting next to him rolled her eyes.
"I've no idea why you're laughing right now." Jane said frankly.
"Your faces!" Ann leaned and Fili, who was also now chuckling a little.
"Alright, I'll give you that one." Fili nodded, smirking. "But this doesn't seem fair, I've gotten scared twice, and you've not."
"Oh bite me, it takes more than one of those old pranks to scare me." Ann sat up and raised her eyebrows at him.
"Wait, how did she scare you the first time?" Bilbo called out from where the ponies were kept. "When?"
"Oh when I fell into the river, and he jumped in after me." Ann shrugged.
"Which I might add I've done twice now."
"I've really gotta stop falling into rivers don't I?" Ann accepted a bowl of stew from a chuckling Bombur, and leaned against Fili, putting her feet up on the makeshift bench.
A scream tore through the air, filled with terror. Ann felt her shoulders tense automatically. Shit… She thought, for she knew exactly what was coming.
"What was that?" Bilbo came back from the pony enclosure.
"Orcs." Ann could FEEL Fili smirk from behind her.
Another scream ripped through the air, and this time, there was a more feminine tone to it, and Ann immediately felt sympathy for whoever it was. Thorin jerked awake, as did many members of the company. What Thorin did, though most of the company didn't. The people who weren't on guard duty, as in Fili, Kili, Balin, Ann, and Jane, just rolled over again. Thorin however fastened his sword belt on, and walked to the edge of their camp site. As if standing watch over their camp and glaring at the orcs would enable him to kill them all.
"O-orcs?" Bilbo's voice was shaky, and Ann felt a twinge of annoyance at what she knew was coming.
"Throat cutters. There'll be dozens of them out there. The lowlands are crawling with them." Ann knew Fili was pleased with himself for making them sound so scary.
Kili grinned and put a hand to his chin. "They strike in the small wee hours of the night." Ann saw Thorin turn slightly, his eyes narrowed. 'Stop Kili!' She thought shouted 'Shit's about to go down. No!'
"Quick, and quiet; no screams, just lots of blood." Fili finished.
Fili and Kili being chuckling to themselves and Ann closed her eyes and almost groaned at the ire that was being provoked.
"Think that's funny?" Thorin practically growled. "Think a night raid by orcs is a joke, do you?"
"No, it's not funny." Kili backtracked quickly, which is more than Fili got credit for, as he was to one who had started all this.
Thorin glared at Kili for a moment then turned to watch the darkness outside their camp.
"Don't mind him, laddie." Balin watched as Thorin walked back over to his spot watching the valley. "Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs. After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria. But our enemy had got there first."
Bilbo joined their circle, which made six people around the campfire, not including Thorin.
All of them listened avidly while Balin recounted what had happened to the pale orc.
"But what happened to the Azog?" Bilbo asked curiously.
"He slunk back into the hole whence he came." Thorin turned and went back to his bed mat, where he lay down without a word.
"Well I have a story." Ann leaned forward. "Can't promise it'll be as good, but I think it's pretty scary.
Ann cleared her throat once, and spoke in what she considered to be a mild storytelling voice. "There once was a man who looked for a wife. He searched all the lands for her, and it wasn't until he was an old white haired man that he found her, she was just as old as him. However not a white hair grew in her head.
When they met, she was cloaked from neck to toe. Not one inch of skin was shown to him, for the wife had a secret, a golden arm." They were very good listeners, but Ann had no idea what Kili was doing. "The wife didn't tell the man until right before the marriage but first she swore him to secrecy and made him swear she would be buried with her golden arm, and when she did tell him, he only reassured her that it was a symbol of her beauty and spirit.
It was on their second anniversary when she died." There was some sort of strangled gasp, Ann looked over to Kili clutching his stomach and mouthing something, and Jane giving him a very pointed stare.
"The man arranged her funeral and vowed to never take another wife, and that no one should have her golden arm but her. He spent twelve days mourning. Unfortunately, only a month or two later, the man became very poor, he was so cold at night, so hungry. He wanted only a little gold to buy himself a blanket, and perhaps a loaf of bread. He wrestled with his vow to his wife and his stomach for many days. Eventually his vow lost. He planned to go to her grave during the dead of night, and dig up her golden arm, and use it to buy himself a better life."
"He can't." Fili interrupted. "He vowed he wouldn't!"
"Oh shut up, you're ruining the effect." Ann glared playfully at him then continued on. "When midnight came, he took his shovel and walked to the graveyard, where he spent two gruelling hours digging up her arm.
When he was done, he grabbed the arm, which was as cold as ice, he shivered. But not from the cold. He put it in his jacket, so he reburied the casket, and then when he was done, he apologized and walked off towards home. Walking out of the graveyard. he thought he heard a whisper, carried by the wind. "Where's my golden arm?" It said to him. The man, worried about his broken honor and vows, walked a bit faster. He was at the end of his driveway now, and the voice spoke again this time closer. "Where's my golden arm?" The man wasn't sure but it sounded vaguely feminine, like his wife. He broke into a sprint and ran into his house, where he locked his door, ran into the hallway, to his bed, where he pulled the covers over his head and cowered, the arm still uncomfortably cold against his body. He heard the locked door click, then open. "Where's my golden arm?" The voice was clear as day now ,and he could hear footsteps creeping down the hall. "Where's my golden arm?" The voice was like a shout outside his bedroom door. The door opened, and he heard one, two, three, footsteps, and then-" Ann paused for a moment and made a moments eye contact with Jane, then-
"YOU GOT IT!" They screeched, Ann grabbed Fili's arm and Jane grabbed Kili's. The two descendants of Durin both sprung off of the bench and leaped backwards, swords drawn.
Balin laughed. "I've not heard a campfire tale so good since I was a young dwarf and Dwalin was the teller." Balin chuckled.
They went to sleep, after waking a tired Dori and Nori.
For one day, there was a bright sunny day, and then the deluge started. If Jane and Ann thought that the Michigan weather gods had mood swings, boy were they in for some fatal weather.
All it does is storm, storm, storm, no matter what. Ann thought moodily.
"What day is today?" Ann grumbled.
"I believe May the twenty first." Ori shouted over the rain.
"So I've been gone for about a month." Ann muttered. "That's great, Mom's worried out of her mind."
"What?" Fili shouted as the rain pummeled him.
"Well it's raining really hard, and I'm all wet!" Ann shouted back.
"Hey, Mr. Gandalf, can't you do something about this deluge?" Dori shouted from in front of Ann.
"No!" Gandalf spoke harshly. "It is raining master dwarf, and it will continue to do so until the rain is done. If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard."
There was silence, in which they went into a patch of forest, and the rain got considerably lighter.
"Are there any?" Bilbo asked.
"What?" Gandalf looked at the small hobbit, water dripping from the brim of his hat.
"Other wizards?" Bilbo nodded.
"That I know of, five, there is saruman, the greatest of our order. Then there are two blue wizards twins usually, who are yet to be reincarnated." Gandalf looked into the distance for a moment, looking quite lost in his thoughts.
"And the fifth?" Jane spoke up.
"That would be Radagast the brown."
"Is he a great wizard, or is he more like you?" Bilbo looked at Gandalf expectantly.
Gandalf, looking slightly offended stiffly turned in his saddle to look at Bilbo. "I think he's a great wizard, in his own way, he is a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a careful eye over the vast forest lands to the east, and quite a good thing too, for evil will always look to get a foothold in this world."
The rain continued on for thirteen days. On the thirteenth day, when the sun was directly overhead, the rain stopped, as if the spigot was turned off, and the clouds blew out of the sky as if propelled by a huge fan.
Ann was 90% sure that her and Jane were the only people who noticed this.
They came to the top of the hill, where there lay a ruin of an old house.
"Halt!" Thorin shouted dismounting his horse. "We will camp here for the night." The whole company sighed in relief and dismounted. "Fili, Kili look after the horses. Make sure you stay with them, we needn't lose any more supplies."
Fili and Kili huffed. But reluctantly started grabbing horses and tying them up.
"Oin, Gloin?" Thorin was surveying the land from which they had come.
"Aye?" They chorused.
"Get a fire going."
"Right." Gloin nodded.
"I think it would be wiser to move on." Gandalf looked into the forest. "We could make for the hidden valley."
Thorin turned around and narrowed his eyes. "I have told you already that I will not go near that place."
"Well there's no harm in putting a little less distance between us and the lonely mountain, is there?" Jane walked over to Thorin. "The farther we go today, the less we have to go tomorrow."
"Why not, master dwarf?" Gandalf continued as if Jane wasn't there. "The elves could help us. We could get much needed food rest and advice." Gandalf towered over Thorin, but still he did not cower. Nor did they notice Jane, which earned them Ann's ire.
"I do not need their advice."
"Oh really?" Ann stormed over to them. "What about that map? Hm, those white rune things,can you read them?"
"What white rune things?" Thorin's words were slow and carefully chosen.
"Give me the map." Ann held out her hand impatiently.
Thorin placed the map in Ann's hand with distrust in his eyes.
"So the first rune is like a squiggle with a line through it-" Ann paused to crouch down, "I'll just draw it for you."
Ann spent all of one minute drawing six lines of runes. With the seventh line consisting of one lone rune.
"These markings aren't on the map." Thorin glared at Ann.
"Yeah they are, whitish color, right under the desolation of smaug." Ann gazed curiously at those around her. "Can't you guys see them?"
"No." Fili squinted at the map.
"Well that means you're blind." Ann stood and patted Fili on the back.
"I'm not blind."
"Oh really?" Ann lowered her voice. "Then where are the horses?"
Fili narrowed his eyes then strode off toward Kili, who he had left in charge of horses.
"These are ancient dwarvish symbols." Gandalf said wisely.
"The likes that have not been seen since Erebor was inhabited by dwarves." Thorin nodded.
"Lord Elrond can help us." Gandalf gazed at Thorin.
"Help?" Thorin spat. "A dragon attacks Erebor, what help came from the Elves? Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls, the Elves looked on and did nothing. You ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather and betrayed my father."
Gandalf turned and strode angrily from the company.
"Gandalf, wait!" Bilbo shouted. "Where are you going?"
"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense." Gandalf exclaimed
"But Gandalf I'm over here!" Ann shouted merrily.
"Who?" Bilbo asked, ignoring Ann.
"Myself! I've had quite enough of dwarves and Ann's for today." And with that he was gone.
Thorin sighed. "Come on Bombur, we're hungry."
"Is he coming back?" Bilbo whispered to Jane as they sat down to eat.
"I don't know." Jane looked quite unsure.
"Bilbo, help me bring these to Fili and Kili." Ann handed a bowl of stew to Bilbo, who grabbed it and followed her reluctantly.
"Ahh, found all the ponies yet?" Ann exclaimed loudly once Fili and Kili came into sight.
"SH!" Fili grabbed his bowl and put a finger over her lips.
"Good thing I brought you a burglar then." Ann grinned as Fili sighed in relief.
"Wait what's the matter?" Bilbo handed the bowl to Kili.
"Well, we're supposed to be looking out for the ponies."
"Kind of like pony shepherds." Ann added ad Bilbo nodded knowingly.
"Only, we've encountered a slight problem." Fili took a bite of his soup.
"We had eighteen." Kili's face twisted into a grimace.
"And now we have fourteen." Fili finished.
"That's not good." Bilbo hooked his thumbs in the belt loops of his trousers. "Not good at all, shouldn't we tell Thorin?"
Fili and Kili exchanged a glance.
"Uhhh no. Let's not worry him."
"As the official burglar they were hoping you would look into it, so they don't get in trouble." Ann summed it up with a grin.
"Well, uh, it was a big something that uprooted these trees." Bilbo walked to the branches and roots and followed the path of destruction until they could see that there was a campfire.
"Here, there's a light." Fili crouched behind a branch.
"It looks like a-" Ann peered into the darkness.
"Stay down." Fili hissed, and grabbed her and pulled her down behind him.
"They look dangerous." Bilbo raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah, trolls are dangerous." Fili nodded.
"Trolls?" Bilbo looked scared.
A troll walked directly to the right of them, carrying a pony under each arm.
"Minty and Myrtle!" Bilbo said once he passed by. "I think he's going to eat them!" He sounded slightly light headed. "We've got to do something."
"Yeah, you should, mountain trolls are slow and stupid, and you're so small." Kili nodded.
"N-no-"
"They'll never see you." Fili grinned.
"No, no-"
"It's perfectly safe, we'll be right behind you!" Ann said reassuringly.
"If you get into trouble hoot twice like a barn owl, once like a brown owl." Kili gave Bilbo a push.
"Or you could scream." Ann nodded.
Then they ran off.
"Are you sure-" Bilbo said.
But Ann, Fili, and Kili were already halfway back to camp.
Ann strolled back into cm, trying to keep her face straight, but Jane's eyes zero'ed in on her and narrowed immediately,
"What the hell did you do with Bilbo Ann." Jane stood up, her voice was stone cold. "I know that look, I swear to god Ann-Marie-"
Ann put her arms behind her back and shifted from foot to foot. "Well a troll might've took a couple of ponies, so Kili might've sent Bilbo after them-"
"How many are there?" Thorin stood up, hand resting on the pommel of his sword.
"Three." Fili fidgeted nervously.
"Ann, Jane, stay here. Wait for Gandalf to return, but do not under any circumstances come after us." Thorin strode past them, and the rest of the company followed.
"Hey." Fili grabbed Ann's arm. "He doesn't mean any harm, he just doesn't want you to get hurt."
"He's a sexist prick." Ann glared at Thorin's back.
"He means well." Fili gazed into Ann's eyes. "Please don't follow us."
Ann gazed at the retreating backs of the company. "I'm giving you one hour before you get a rescue team." Ann glanced at Fili then gave him a quick hug.
"I'll keep her here." Jane nodded at Fili. "For most of an hour."
"Thanks." And with that, Fili was sprinting after his uncle.
The hour was possibly the longest most tortuous hour of Ann's life. With fifteen minutes she started rummaging through her pack.
"Yeah, a bow might come in handy." Jane watched as Ann restrung it, then fitted an arrow into it, and shot it.
It wasn't even done quivering when they left.
When they got there, the trolls had all the dwarves tied up and in sacks.
Ann strolled in like she was the queen of their show. "Will someone tell me how thirteen hobbits and a dwarf managed to get captured by three trolls that they caught unaware?" Her voice was lacking it's usual mirth, and her eyes, now a stone grey from their usual icy blue ones were angry.
"Who're you?" The three trolls stood up.
"SHUT UP!" Ann screamed, and within a second she had an arrow flying off her bow.
Needless to say it struck one of them in the eye.
"My name is Ann Dunmall, you may have heard of me."
"No, we haven't." The one clutching his eye whispered.
"Oh that's right, that's probably because no one's met me and lived." Ann hissed.
The camp was totally and completely silent.
"I don't suppose you would untie my friends, and let us and our ponies go, would you?" Ann's facade was cold, but the barely concealed rage was as plain as day.
"No." One bared his teeth. "You're just a measly girl."
"Oh my god. Is there anyone who isn't a sexist pig here?" Ann paused a moment before shooting two arrows, one hit the taller one on the right that had spoken in the chin, the other hit the shorter, fatter one in the stomach.
"Ann?" Fili called. "Ann are you alright?"
"Not really. Mr. I got captured by a stupid slow mountain troll." Ann didn't even spare the company a glance.
"Be quiet." Jane popped up from behind them, startling a couple of grunts from the dwarves. For Ann had given the knife that she had gained from the market, to Jane.
"What are you doing?" Fili hissed. "Go help Ann, she's going to get herself killed!"
"You all need to stay here, so I can untie you, then you can all storm them at once." Jane nodded. "Because for all her big talk, all Ann is going to do is annoy them, and then yes, get herself hurt or killed, but she won't finish them." Jane started with Bombur.
"What do you mean?" Fili was wriggling now.
There was a loud roar, and all of a sudden Ann was being chased by two trolls, the third one was laying on the ground, barely evading them as they danced elaborately around the campfire. The twang of a bow was heard, and then another roar.
"Shit!" Ann felt her shoulder go numb, the tip of the trolls blade had hit her when she trying to get another shot in and now it was bleeding and she couldn't feel her arm.
"ANN!" Fili yelled now wriggling frantically. "Jane, what are you doing, untie me!"
"Can't." Jane was untying Thorin, the last besides Fili to get untied. "The weapons pile is over there, at least get one before charging into battle." And with a flick of her knife, Fili was cut loose.
Ann didn't falter to see how bad her head was, or her arm. But every time she saw an opening and looked, Jane had done what she'd asked and not untied Fili.
But Ann heard a shout, and turned to see Gandalf standing astride a huge rock.
"Wha-?" The word wasn't even out of her mouth before the troll hit her, sending her stumbling a couple of feet.
There was a terrible crack, and everyone stopped, except Ann, who fell to her knees, and hunched over.
"May dawn take you all!" Came Gandalf's voice, and the taller troll made one last lunge toward Ann, and the stone that was to the East of the fire split in half, and life saving sunlight shone through.
The troll lunged at Ann his dagger glinted in the light, then something hit her, and she was shoved to the side. That was when things went black.
There was darkness. So much of it. Ann was turning her head, and trying to move, but it seemed like she was stuck in quicksand. Her breathing quickened and she was trying violently to get out.
There was a voice. Ann didn't really hear it, it was more like a stream of feelings. "Don't worry Ann." There was assurance, along with a twinge of grief but then happiness. "I know you'll be alright." And she knew no more.